You shall bleed!

No Milord, please

You shall harm yourself!

No Milord, please

You shall love the one who does not reciprocate!

No!!! I beg you Milord, no! Don't do this to me!

You shall suffer!
You shall suffer!
You shall suffer!
Till death comes for you!

Y-yes Milord

It's lonely and cold
Without your voice
It's bitter and miserable
Without your words
But if that's the price I have to pay
For the paths we've chosen
So be it

Being genuine
Caused me more pain
Keep smiling could've helped
Knowing to keep my distance would've helped
Maturing faster might've helped
Should I blame my depression?
Should I blame the little professional help I get?
Should I keep throwing blame?
Or just give up and go to sleep

I lie awake
awaiting sleep
I lie in wait
For a moment's peace

But this restless energy will not leave me be
No wide yawns or heavy lids will come to set me free

"Sleep, sleep"
I whisper, in tune to my heart beat
"Drink me"
The coffee at my bedside tempts me

I close my eyes and start to count sheep
"Sleep, sleep" I whisper softly

"**** it" I eventually groan
reaching for my coffee

I'm sad all the time
Not for any reason, just because
I want to break down and cry
When I think of who I was
Vs who I am

I used to have dreams
Now I only crave sleep
I used to want to fly
Now I'm content with crawling
I was a person with a calling
Now I struggle to find a reason to get by