A smile or two
Counts not as a few
But a mile long road
Of "you must" and to do's

A picture worth painting
Is just as restraining
As a dog in a cage
Muzzled during training

Amidst the achievers
Are silenced nonbelievers
For those who protest
Are labeled "the deceivers"

A map of success
Is just paper at best
When your heart leaves a void
As it runs from your chest

As the clock tic tocs
Opportunity walks
Now you're stuck with the laughter
That muted its knock

Expectation demands
With transparent commands
Dont find yourself saying
"This is not what I planned"

Use the needle and thread to poke holes into my face
To connect the dots, once hollow
Knit that pretty smile on my face
More and more laughs will follow

Dont move my head right and left
Shaking my head no is bad to the crowd
Nod my head yes back and forth
Stitch my lips shut dont wanna be loud

Dont wear this, dont wear that
They'll judge you by your looks
They force you to merge into the perfect image
And strip you of your identity like crooks

You need to be more intelligent
You're a disgrace if you aren't married
If you haven't won medals and trophies
The memory of you is buried

You need a man in your life
You cannot be independent
If you refuse to accept their version of "reality"
You're prone to become emotionally dented

This is what it feels like for us women
We feel like nothing but a liability
So here it is, the horrid truth
About being locked up in the chains of society

The thought of us
was just a dream
just being together just the two of us  
only in my dreams

Having bad dreams again
that seeing you with another girl
makes my heart breaks into pieces
drowning myself with tears

When all of my hopes were dying
his love kept me trying
i do my best to hide
the pain that i've been through
when i cry at night
letting go tonight
a sad state of affairs

Broken into pieces
in my dream lost in the darkness
thinking again about you and me
without the world
just by ourselves
yet in the end it's all just a dream
going through all of it over again

driving too fast through the countryside with the windows down
that's how it is talking to you
absolute freedom
completely filled with a sense of belonging
you are home

She was beautiful
She reminded me of the sun
I knew she always were near
Even though the clouds
had taken over the sky
she shined brighter than
a million stars combined
she always stayed positive
she told me this
“when it’s raining, don’t be upset
but take your rainboots on,
and dance till it stops,
when there is thunder,
don’t be scared, don’t hide
but instead find a safe spot
and admire the beautiful lightning
when it’s windy outside,
don’t be irritated,
find your dragon
and see it fly through the clouds”
she wasn’t afraid of being herself
she did what she wanted to do
she did wear the most colorful clothes
and she loved when people stopped
and looked at her like she was crazy
because she knew
what she was doing
and she knew
what they were missing out on
she wasn’t living her life,
she was alive.
Her favorite color was yellow.

Sorry for the highs and lows.
Sorry for the ups and downs.
Happy then sad.
Cheerful then mad.
Back and forth the needle goes,
Yes and nos.
Confident, then lost.
Bursts of energy, water-like limps.
Knows, and foolishness,
Kindness then ungratefulness.
Compassionate, angry at first.
Ups and lows.
Yes and nos.
I am so sorry.
For the changing host.

.........A bag of stones as my heart.
              Water lillies as eyes,
          A glass vase as my body.
     I couldn't think with this thunder
   storm of a mind and I couldn't
speak  when my heart is racing, running out

  of time. Blurred is my vision, heavy, are my thoughts. My heart filled with the heaviness of fear and nightmares. 
 I don't know what to do. I don't want
   to enter into the dark lairs of death
           I am afraid, fearful, hurt
                And lost. I hope you
                     God would help
                         me through
                          this storm...........................