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My sobriety
In plain sight for all to see
Clean I have to be
It's easy to be sober when i have so many people keeping me accountable for my actions.
 Aug 2018 PEARL SMOKE
angel
it's so hard to hold onto my sanity when i watch them lose control.
it's so easy to fall, even though i know it'll be hell.
i could be weak and do it again;
feel the bitterness and gagging,
the dizziness and hear my giggling.
or i could control myself and be bland. tasteless.
i don't want to be a bore,
i want to be a firefly that makes your eyes widen at the golden star i carry on my back.
but i don't want to get squashed by your fingers,
so what am i supposed to do?
Nobody knows the
Difficult road I walked to
Get to where I am
Difficult roads often lead to beaitiful destinations
war
i battle the demons inside my head
i fear what they've done
i fear what they've said
in this war, there is no winner
no hope for me
a lonely sinner
Many walking different paths,

That lead us in the same direction

A place filled with much pain,

And lots of empty reflections

Rivers filled with tears of sadness,

From the emptiness deep inside.

Oceans filled with tears of pain,

A pain we try to hide.

A desert without water,
But yet the oasis we do see.

Our minds twisted and turned
Is it real or make believe.

People do not understand,
The challenges that we face.

We struggle just to get by,
With a smile upon our face.

I hope they never feel,
What it’s like to be inside our head.

Struggling with our demons,
Some wishing they were dead.

People don’t understand our struggles,
Or the shoes we have to wear.

Feeling all the loneliness,
Just hoping someone would care.

All the pain we must  carry,

As we struggle every day.

We hope to make it through
Our darkest hours,

Just to struggle another day.

Live
Love
Hope

Written by
RICHARD B SHICK
The crowded streets,
The empty nights
Were the same;
Scary and dreary,
Till I met you.

Whether it was spark,
Or it was dark
I was the same;
Numb and dumb,
Till I met you.

You showered love
In oddest times,
Trained me seeing
Beauty in everything,
Accompanied in loneliness,
Exhilarated in clumsiness.

The sense of you
Had woken my eye,
The strike of your light
Ignited my mind,
The pill of your pleasure
Had cured my heart,
Hymns of your wisdom
Enlightened my soul.

Oh! Books!
I'm grateful!
 Jul 2018 PEARL SMOKE
KJ
Pushing and pulling.
We push and pull at each other
like two magnets,
opposing and attracting
with every twist.

You push me away
and I pull you back.
I push you in return,
you pull me further into the dark.

We’re no good for one another.
We knew this wouldn’t last.
What did you expect,
when all the lies piled up.
Did you think you could hide them forever?

Lies never stay hidden.
The truth reveals itself in the end,
and often not in the ways we want it to.

Your lies were the final nail in the coffin of our relationship.

You were supposed to be my new beginning ,
my happy ever after
my knight coming to rescue me.

I realized too late that I dont need to be rescued.

I needed an equal.

Someone to pull me up when I fell,
not pull me down and drown me.

I needed someone to push me to be my best,
not push me towards darkness and deceit.

You think that you haven’t done anything wrong.
You love me, so how could you ever hurt me?

The ones who love us tend to hurt us the most.

You wanted me kept tightly in your firm grip.
You always “knew what was best for me”,
without consulting me.

I thought I was the one that didn’t deserve you.
You were sunshine and warmth wrapped in a human body.
I didn’t realize you’d leave me burnt and scarred skin.

I’m choosing to move on.
I’m choosing to forget.

You never deserved my devotion and defense.

Everyone warned me about you, they told me you were dangerous.
I didn’t believe them, I couldn’t see.

You’ve opened my eyes, for the last time.

So goodbye, my love.
Goodbye, my friend.

You won’t be invited into my life again.
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