I am lost
I love you
Who am I
Who are you
We were friends
Silent lips lie
Is this reality
Nothing got better
People aren't nice
I am hurt
I hurt you
Do you remember
We're all tired
Same routine everyday
Lost in confusion
Lost in effort
Beautifully painted skies
I've grown up
You were different
I was different
I want ***
I want love
I want pain
A year intoxicated
I didn't know
Failure to myself
Read many books
Leave pain behind
Drink your milk
She's gone now
Life's quickly fading
Words left unsaid
Lust isn't love
I barely exist
Don't forget me
Let yourself heal.

Love the word.

The mirrior is my adversary.
My eyes variance, what others don't see.
To the word I'm adequate, crowning , spotless, and skilled

Every morning I wake up, get ready and cover my lips in red majestic mac

Red lipstick seems to illuminate confidence in the eyes of many,
but to me it is merely a pigmented shield of secrets.
Humorous isn't it?
Every unmarred life, seeks to relive its pigments
Fears, self-doubt, imperfection.

Mirror, mirror, mirror on the wall..
Who's the thinnest of them all...


The sound of battle rumbles
Conscious at wrists ends
Bawling in me

Fat,
Fat,
Fat,

Yours tricks are foul, you tauntful mind
Vision is blurred from reality,
Oh mind how you love to frolic

Your sheer joys leave me unpieced,
The snickering of my mirror,
Damages my frame.

Sorrowing fades my red lipstick
Pigments revealed,
Vulnerable,
Unworthy,
Marred to the bone

Quickly I learned that the mind is the enemy, filled with con

Staring in my mirror and all I see is fat.

Red lipstick always seems to fade by the end of the night.

The clock struck midnight
I was restless and thoughtful as could be
I noticed that I had been tossing and turning to a beat and rhythm that plunged above in the sky
It was a thunder-storm
bang, crash, thump
The sky illuminated in glory
Envy

The thunder roared and crashed in the middle of the night and the trees helplessly yearned for serenity
Ironic
It was calm earlier that day
Imagine
The breeze was right where it should have been and the sun was warmer than a hot skillet on a stove top
Peace
The sky was fostered in a pacific blue
And the clouds resembled dreams
Love
I remember it was 1:05 pm to be exact and I was feeling blissful
I decided to ride my bike through a quaint old town, two miles west of my house
Adventure
I stopped and stared at this little old man painting in the park
He was painting a tree, with pink, red, purple and gray
Odd
I couldn't help, but noticed how he was enticed by his surroundings
Interesting
I continued to bike away
It was now 2:45pm and I was feeling a bit famished
To the right of me stayed a cunning unforgettable coffee shop
I insisted to go in
Hesitation
Something about that coffee shop struck me that day, just like the little old man painting his introspection in the park
The room reeked in comfort and patience
Something I did not understand
Silence
Contemplatively, I bought a cup of coffee--black, I also companied that coffee with a blue berry scone--my favorite
I sat by the window to admire the sunlight and how the warmth cherished my skin
I sipped my coffee--startled
I noticed something peculiar about this coffee shop and this day
Instantly, I was left with an uneasy and unsettled feeling
Thoughtful
My black coffee was much more bitter than usual
It is as if the taste could not go down my throat
Something was wrong, I felt it
As I looked around the room everyone else was enjoying their cup of coffee
They also seemed to lack any hesitation
The tone in their voices create a harmonic rhythm in conversation
I noticed that every time they took a sip of their coffee they found it sweet, rather than bitter
I turned my head and looked out the window for a moment
Suddenly, I noticed that the sky was diminishing in its tints of blue
Wonder
I looked down at my watch
It was 3:35pm, I had to get home
I paid my bill and scurried onto my bike
Remember
The sky was calm throughout the entirety of the day
It was lovely and ideal--until it wasn't

No one expected a storm
No one expected disaster
But somehow, I did

I laid in bed that night waiting in anticipation
Waiting for my world to collide
Thunder and lighting seemed to have fought its way through the sky
Time
There wasn't enough
Concurrently, I felt bitter-- just like my cup of coffee in that cunning old shop
Ambiguity
I was left without answers
I was left without sugar and cream
creek, scratch, thump
The tree branch slid against the slide of my house
I noticed it all
It's starting
All the anticipation and anxiety I felt throughout the day was finally coming to its end or maybe to its start
The sky started to illuminate an illusion of sunlight
It was 11:30 pm and the day it almost to its end
I laid in bed thinking
I thought about my day and everything that it was missing
I notice it all
The little old man in the park painted a tree with a usual set of pigments, he defined ordinary, while sat alone comforted by the mere work of his creativity
The people in the coffee shop arrayed and encompassed patience, harmony and happiness
I was struck by discomfort because I unware of all those wonderful things
I knew all about the thunder and how it was provoked in the sky
I understood the lighting and its wish to shine
I thought of the beat and tempo that they would together make
Sometimes it was bitter, but sometimes it was sweet
I understood thunder and lighting
I understood why they danced viciously in the sky  
Finally, the clock struck midnight and it was now tomorrow
Fear
The storm was coming to its peak
The thunder fought its way with the lighting just as viciously written words floated on a piece of paper
The lighting struck back with ferocious and willful ambition
Relentless
The lighting held its ground, but didn't give up its hope
BANG
Memories
It was 1:05 am
The storm had reached its end
The thunder and lighting seemed to have parted their ways
Their fight was tortious
Nobody won, rather they both lost
It was 1:25 am
The rain had finally stopped
The trees have found their peace
It was 1:42 am
As I laid in bed, I thought about my day
I just want the storm to stop
Just like the the thunder and lightening, the little old man in the park and the people in that cunning old coffee shop, all have found their comfort and patience
The thunder and lightening have similarly found it in their bitter sweet good bye
It was wonderful
I noticed that as much as they fought throughout that darling midnight blue sky, they were attracted to their rhythm—A rhythm that was worth saving
The sweetness was found in their beat as they danced throughout the night
The thunder and lighting created a bittersweet combination
Just like the coffee I wish I would of had
A natural disaster that was intended to create a craze in the sky
The thunder wanted to be sweet, as did the lighting
Two peas in two different pods
Their negativity created the sweet appreciation of warm sunlight
I notice it all
The sun was the sweet
The day was calm
The thunder and lightening both knew it all too well
That night, the reminder of it anyways, I laid in bed and I knew that someday the storm would go away
It was 2:25 am and I finally shut my eyes

3 am and my heads spinning. My thoughts are all over the place. I'm on a thin line between feeling too deeply and not feeling enough, I can't tell which is worse. They're equally equivalent it seems. "I ****** up, I really ****** up." I can't stop telling myself that. You're kisses that used to be so sweet, just seemed so wrong this time. "why did I just do that." The way you're breath lingered on me used to drive me crazy, but now it doesn't. I couldn't stop thinking of me thinking. How did I get so lost, why doesn't it feel right anymore? You used to feel so right to me?

I don't believe in love, because love doesn't believe in me.
I don't smile in pictures, because a picture captures a thousand words.
I believe in poetry, because it tells a story of our brutal reality.
I believe in today, because our faith lies in the stars.
I don't believe in forever, because of doubt.
I believe in insecurities, because we all have them.
I believe in humanity, because if we don't, then what are we all fighting for?
I don't believe in failure, because we are all meant to have a legacy.
I believe, I believe, I don't believe, because I believe.

Read me your favorite book in the dark, as our bodies touch.
let me feel your thoughts, your fears just as they linger off your lips as you read the words off the page.
In that spilt of a second, Hit me with a silence and deep stare, as I grasp for my breath
Tears the clothes off my body just as you teared into my mind,
Let's sit in the dark, let's share, let's feel.
Read me your favorite book and compare me to daisies.

My good is not good enough
My good is a failure
My good makes tears
My good is not good enough
So what is good enough to make good?

How can you love a wolf in disguise ?
your sharp teeth,
your claws speak danger.
My back bleeds
Pain,
A scar with the memory of distrust
You did this to me,
A wolf in disguise
I love him.

We're all souls on this wonderful planet,
filled with pains,
thoughts and opinions.
We're all souls on this massive planet,
looking for someone like us.
To understand us,
to love us,
and appreciate us.
We'r all souls on this planet,
looking for answers,
Compassion,
and someone to believe in us,
like we do for them.
-i.g.

I've never been good at lying, yet somehow I've always been good at hiding my heart.
-I.g.

The carelessness in your eyes,
Is a constant reminder of who you are no longer.  
Your eyes they were gentle and caring toward the world,
Vanished,  
as did your clarity.
Fogged, by the drink of sins.

Those kind eyes of yours, spoke to my heart,  
Your thoughts felt me.
your soul spoke of the future,
with goals ,
Opportunity stuck,
Because ambition.
Your hands reached for gold,
Because success.
Your wrist held time and so did your faith,
Because future.
but one day,
I saw gray, in the eyes that held God.
Lightness became darkness.  
A world of fear became of you,
Reality cut you out before you could say hello.
Something inside of you died that day,
I lost the caring soul that I loved in you,
The world scared you, as did yourself.
I can no longer believe in the man I thought you  once were,
When a boy is visible in actions.
I saw far the grief intentions,
and your unlawful ways.
Purity could not exceed my love and neither could my faith.
Your good spirt left,
And all you reek is sins.
Sins that you'd  drown yourself to no longer feel the pain,
Numbness became your ultimate clarity,
Goal.
Sins they reek of you and your soul.

Familiarity was a safety net I was unconsciously drawn too.
I reaked civic and utter independence,
But as I got thrown to the curb of life I found my self more twisted than a cork in a wine bottle.
I think about fear more than I actually should.
The thoughts of the future consume me and my being,
"I'm destined for  greatness, I know I am, I know I am."
I say it out loud all the time, but little do the eyes around me know that, vaguely do I believe it myself.
Eyes are constantly watching me.
Me.
Me.
With hopes of success, and the temperament that I am meant to be great.
A thinker for the world,
A healer for humanity,
A lover for hope.
As eyes watch god,
My vains bleed fear.
I want to believe.
I want to be.
I want to.
I want to.
I want,
But why do I believe I can't.
The mind is a tricky thing in our classist world of upper elites.
Who's bound to break the boundaries into a world of power.
Who's bound to make a change.
My mind is my epic failure,
and my most distinguished enemy.
My subconscious screams "failure, failure, lose, lose, lose"
My willpower struggles to hold on as the elitist feet of silver knocks me off my horse.
I'm in a epic battle, but sometimes I forget with who.
Is it with me?
Is it with the epic power of this world?
Is it with fear of the future?
Who am I, if I am not adequate to myself,
To my being,
To my heart.
When did I get so lost.
And how did it happen?
Why isn't that rain no longer makes rainbows?
When did lemonaid become bitter?
How do I believe in my hopes and dreams?
Am I weak that I'm afraid of the unknown?
Am I weak because I fall to the feet of lust?
Am I weak, or am I really strong because of the knowledge I gained along the way?
My wine tastes bitter, and aged.
My mind grows tired,
My heart reeks pain.
Silently I stare at the wall because there are no windows or doors.
Silently I sip my bitter wine,
and silently it tastes aged.

Thoughts manifest into outbursts, while love transcends into lucid memories
awake by the unusual, while soundly and  Nourishly condemned asleep by distress
Remarkable beauty held hostage in the bricks and the mist of the darken night
Manfiestation devoures into desperation, While temptation rages a twist of faith outbursted in thought.
Manifesting hidden reality
Manifesting disgraceful truth
1:19 pm and my thoughts are still of you

It was all the same,
Morning to Morning,
Night to night.
The meaning of beatitude did not exist in me,
Only bleakness enriches my soul.

Little joys in dogs and toys did not entice me,
Neither did the florishing perfums of stores after stores.
A smiles started to become a fabricated motion of crinkling the corners of my cheeks.
Limelight staunched ,
Power in my hands,
And the world at my feet.

The world was no longer colorful,
With hopes and dreams.
Red and blue.
Clouded and pricked.
Black and white.
Vision gray.

It was all the same.
Morning to Morning,
night to night.
My purpose,
The meaning,
Vanished like spring.
It blooomed, it peaked, it died.

It was all the same.
Everything around me turned gray.

I wish you could borrow my eyes for one minute, just so you could see the world the way I do. See my view, my thoughts, my fears, my insecurities, and my memories. Feel what I feel through my eyes. See the way my eyes see you.

Sometimes when you love someone, really love someone you're blinded by their bad intentions, the malice that exists in them.  The jealousy that reeks their eyes and the lies that live in their heart.  Love is evil because love can be blind in the eyes of a beholder. Love can also be gentle and sweet when when eyes are honest and kind.

How can something so bad, be so good. Your touch, your smell, your kiss, electrifies my soul. The thought of you grabbing my hair, and grabbing my heart makes me ache. "You're no good for me" I constantly tell myself. "We're nothing, and never will be" I remind myself. "You never cared, you're all wrong for me" I can hear my conscious screaming. Everything in the world is urging me to stay away, but every beam in my body is telling me to go closer. Why are we so wrong, but why are we so right?

I will internalize the words you say
I will memorize your lips and the way they fell perfectly in line with mine
I will hold you hand as an imprint on my heart
I will love you furiously and wildly like a melody grasped in music
I will do all of these things in outrageous outbursts
with honesty
With hope
And with the charitable idea of love
I will love you
Openly, honestly and heavily
I will open my mind and my ironic thoughts
I will
But in a twist of empty faith
You resigned from the will and charitable outburst found in music
The melody halted
As did our will
I will forever remember you
I will embrace the words you once said
I will remember the way your lips touched mine
I will remember your hand on my heart
I will endlessly and sadly remember the love
I will remember the song that always played in the back of your empty room
I will remember the thoughts that fired through my soul
I will always remember you-- *and I'll always remember our unexpected goodbye

In the mist of it all, I'm just a yearning, passionate soul, looking to be loved.
To be understood,
To be seen for mind verses matter.
In the mist of it all, I'm lost in a body of a bodies.
Everyday thousands of people pass by me.
On their bikes, in their cars, on the bus, by feet.
I'm in my own world thinking about THOSE people thinking,
At the same time I'm competing with myself.
I find myself at a at very Freud stand point.
In the mist of it all, I've always seen right and wrong.
I used to see the in betweens,
I used to see the befores and predict the afters.
And now, in the mist of all this doubt, all this fear, all these people,
I find myself lost,
I find myself scared,
I find myself lonely.
This mist scares me of my own greatness, but at the same time it serves my incompetence.
I look at her, I look at him, I look at all of THEM,
And in the mist of it all, they look okay.
They look happy,
They are riding their bikes, taking the bus, driving their cars,
And walking towards something....
In the mist of it all,
I know assumption is an ignorant observation,
We are all a spectrum in this thing called life.
but in the mist of it all, I need a security, an explanation, a freedom to feel, to cry and to indulge in self-doubt.
But in the mist of all this mist, I need some one to hold me tight,
To reassure that my fears are only fears,
To secure my feet,
To believe in my thoughts, because they don't believe in me.
To make me feel,
God.
Where have I fallen in all this mist.
God please help me live, feel, cry for passion and not for pain.
In the mist of it all,
In the mist of it all,
I'm left with thoughts, thoughts,
And thoughts.......
In this godforsaken mist.
I yearn for love, I yearn for hope, I yearn for dream....

Two am on that chill summer night,  
We hungout for the first time since our part.
Words were said,  and screams were yelled,
But the silence was always more loud.
I could never bring my heart to speak to you, because your lips spoke dishonesty.  
My head always knew that, but my soul could never believe that.
That night while we were laying in bed, nobody was home.  
I looked at you and you looked at me,
I actually let you peek into my eyes,
because for once I wanted you to see my soul,
I wanted to see yours.  
I wanted our silence to be stopped. 
 Your lips spoke to me, as did your touch,
Fireworks illuminated in my heart, we both felt it.  
Laying there we both stayed scared. I could feel it, so could you.
We talked,  but then silence came above us again.
I established my head on his chest,
I could feel his heartbeat following the rythm of a fast drum.
His breath was restless, as was mine.  
Our souls contemplated one another and we knew we were wrong all along.
We both stayed silent,
It was always louder than our words. 
 As dawn was approaching us, we knew this night wouldn't last for ever.
It wasn't two am anymore or a chill summer night.  It was time we faced reality,  
our eyes spoke the truth,
our hearts felt the ache,  
our breath yearn for each other, but our lips spoke nothing. 
 Silence never spoke so loud.  
We pretend like it was okay,
 That time wasn't on our side,  but in reality,  
we both knew time is always there until we let it slip away.
That's what we did.  
Time left and so did we.
Our silence screamed and so did our souls everytime we crossed paths,
which is  often.
our silence knew more than us, that it was never supposed to end like this.

I would love to let you read my mind
Follow my thoughts just as you would the pages of a book

When did life hit the pivot of complication?
As we people sit here and scrutinize our pain,
We deliberately convince ourselves, nothing good will come.
We began to lose faith in good, because misfortune trumps the little rewards of lemons,
The world is gold and so is life.
The mind plays tricks and so do the eyes.
The pivot will disappear when one makes lemonade even without sugar.

The perfect tint of blue lies in the sky as I roll my windows down in the car,
The breeze feels right on my bronze tinted skin.
The sun lays a kiss apon my cheek,
All that feels right in the world leaves me with a smile of joy,
The humming of nature plays melodies to my ears,
yet my heart isn't touched by that very noise.
All that's right, and all that's perfect in the world is nothing without you.
Luck has entered in my world without you, but without you I'm unlucky.
Paradoxes play a role with our twisted faith,
Are we meant to ever be, or our we meant to cut of losses,
Should I just listen to the melodies of the birds chirping of love, and hope?
Should I listen to the wind, run free and miss the bittersweet hope that could of been us...
The sun shines bright in the orbit of our world, the sky illuminates in a calming blue of hope, and love
The wind screams freedom, as the birds fly with love...
My sky isn't blue without you.

She wanted to write just was on her mind,
What she really felt, but she couldn’t.
She found difficulty putting her feelings into words  
And her words into perfect syntactical form.
She knew the moment it all crossed her mind, she would never be able to write a sentence of all of her hurt.

The wind started to settle
An it was no longer cold.
Although it was still raining
The coffee now, was sweet and bold.

Today is cloudy with a slight breeze, while it should be sunny
It seems to be cloudy because the sky is left without words to describe the gray

The air even tastes different today
And the feeling in the air brings apon a case of nostalgia
a feeling that becomes of sorrow
Just like memories

Memories
Why I cherish the love of memories, but they do not of me
Memories have a colorful and colorless beauty to them
Paradox some would say
The color is often found in the rececpicrol of good will, but eventually the nuance of them becomes hazey and dreadful to bare
Memories--
I could laugh--
the weather today is something like you.

It was a beautiful, and warm Monday afternoon.
Physically, the world felt in place
The sphere around her bore in serenity and tranquility
Except her mind.

She laid her body carelessly in a bed of a thousand lilacs,
Dawdled by thoughts
She was unready to explore her surroundings
But the world craved her undying attention
Unfocused, discomforted, content
The wind fleeted swiftly through her hair,
While the lilacs obscured her of pollen

She could hear everything, but simultaneously, nothing at all.
Too much or too little, it never seemed to be enough.
Just as she laid her head back on to the bed of lilacs
The wind danced in ******, tempting heed of her

It was a charming afternoon
Most would say,
But her mind danced along the brass of the wind,
rather than attending in curiosity  

Once again she laid her body back onto the bed of lilacs
Trying to comfort her discomforting thoughts
Finally
It was quite and her mind now felt at ease

Carefully, she listened to the wind
She didn’t miss a beat
The rhythm felt smooth—natural
Chills struck down her spin as the wind tackled through her tangled hair
Ironically, she felt at peace

A sudden shadow casted above her undistributed body
The lilacs comforted her in a way that her bed could not
The wind started to silence itself
Composure diminished from the realm of her thoughts

Quietly, she listened to the raspy and familiar voice that would not stop humming
In a chuckle he asked, “why are you laying in a bed of flowers?”
He didn’t even notice that they were lilacs
Flustered by his sudden appearance, she opened her eyes and realized that it was time to leave the garden
She stared at him for a moment before she actually responded
With a slight nervous laugh, she responded honestly “I don’t really know.”
Dazed and confused, she gathered her strength to stand up “It’s been a while...”
But before she could even finish her sentence,
The brassy wind started to chime
“Want to go grab some coffee?” he nervously said.

His voice
His touch
His stare

Today was similar to the dream that left me restless the night before
Hazily, I contested to relive the memory of today
****
But in a blink of a eye, the joker oscillated into a magician
Gone he now is

Realization struck me today
We were two bodies so close, and ironically so unbelievably far away
Alone is how we were  
Together was how stood

The dream that laid on my pillow was simple and unusual
It led me begging for answers, while sinking in questions
My dream resembled today

Throughout the day my thoughts were filled with clutter,
I also noticed that today felt colder than the usual
I caught myself in constant shivers
It was cold enough for more than a few cups of coffee—black

I discovered that my restless nights unusually did not provoke overwhelming tiredness
which usually would occur

Today was odd and translucent almost
deja vu
The sky found itself in a neutral balance between black and white
Yet, the moment I saw him
The moment he walked towards me
I found instant warmth
His smile reminded me of everything I cherished to forget
Together was how we stood
Alone is how we were

We found ourselves in the pit of our silent and speechless misery
Sometimes I think we let the music speak before we actually did
Through the chorus of profound lyrics
Or through marvelous transitions in melody
We felt,
We understood it
As always we found ourselves spending the day together in reality,
While desperately alone in spirit

Billiards and juke music— That was our favorite way to spend the day
I would be stripes and he would be solids— It was always the same

Vividly, I can recall it all

I could hear his voice as he mumbled along to my favorite song
—clear, soft and a bit raspy, just like guitar strings being strung

I could feel his touch hesitate as he helped guide my hands onto the cue stick

I could feel his stare
— deep, compassionate, and puzzled
He was always left puzzle while around me— I knew it all too well
His eyes spoke, while his voice stayed silent
—As did mine
peaceful
It was my turn now
The music still played
And our voices still silence

Confidently I grasped on to my cue stick just as the way he showed me
And I aimed toward the number 5 ball for a shot in the left pocket
Clear as day
I called it
The shot was lined along perfectly, it was simple
More momentum then ever my cue stick released an astonished speed onto my cue ball
But in a blink of an eye and through livid calculation, I scratched
Baffled, confused and astonished just like the speed that was released onto my ball
We stared at one another in mindless contact— like always
The music still played
But voices weren’t silent— they filled the room with laughter

In that moment realization struck me
Through irony my restless nights had become restless because I was too busy dreaming
Awake, aware and alone

Today had a mist of nostalgia floating in the air
It left me tired and restless
But in the blink of an eye, it all so quickly disappeared

You were my favorite thought at 7:30 in the morning
As I woke up and gently smile
thoughts of you brushed through my mind
Laughter embraced me as I causally pulled the covers over my head in embrassment
In the mean time the covers layed on my newly blonde hair, I'd think
how could I be so in love with a man like you
Something I never expected nor encountered to feel
It was as if we were to magnets gravitating towards one another
Endlessly
As my thoughts drifted me back to sleep
He walked through the painted white door frame and sighed with endearment
I stopped and smirked
"What?" I said to him
Without words, he gravitated towards me
as if we were the two little magnets that plunged through my thoughts
Quick as ever he pulled the covers off of me as I whole heartedly and playfully clenched to them in resistance, but he was a little too quick and a little too smart
He stared deeply into my eyes and grinned
Finally, he made his way to me and gently clenched onto the covers, as I playful did too
He grab my hips and pulled me in closer
Weightless I layed
The warmth of his body resembled the feeling of wearing a thousand hand knitted swears in the middle of July
The strength of his arms made me feel safe, while his voice gave me assurance and comfort
I stopped and sighed with admiration
He continued to gently gleam into my eyes
And just as I pulled away in embrassment, he insisted to drag me closer
The closer he got the more his nose brushed against my cheek
I no longer pulled away
His eyes were locked in mindless contact with mine, while his lips brushed against my cheek
Breathless I layed
He whisperd in my ear "coffees ready"
I smiled
As I replied-- no sugar and no cream

Do you ever just think about being meaningless to someone who is so meaniful to you? It's a dark feeling and it's a scary one.

I want you
Eight letters three words

You Tear me down
you build me up
you break me
you say love me
you say miss me
you hurt me

I love you
Eight letters three words

You leave me
You come back
I love you
I believe it
You lie
You say your sorry

I hate you
Eight letters three words

You still love me
You miss me
I left you

The tables have turned

I need you
Eight letters three words

I don't care anymore
I don't love you
I'm not hurting
Your speechless
You're sorry

Eight letters three words
I love is not enough

*******. Is it so hard. Why is everything so hard.
Not skinny enough.
Not pretty enough.
Not her.
Not smart enough.
Why is life so hard.
We all struggle with **** everyday.
I want to do something in life that means something.
I don't want to be defined by a label of society.
Why is life so hard.
Animals hunt when they are only hungry, so how could they be destruction.
Humans hunt to win.
We are our own worst enemy's.
We wonder why life is so hard...

You're lips were so sweet.
Mine were so confused.
You were different than most.
You were honest, kind and thoughtful.

You'd tired to look me into my eyes, that constantly saw fear,
You tried to figure out the way I saw the world.
You got my humor, and sarcasm.
So you'd laugh when I'd laugh too.

I was so lost with the past, to let you in my future.
Realization kicked in, just as I blinked.
Then you blinked too..
Now my lips are no longer confused,
but they are bitter.

I want to feel the summer time breeze as it sweeps through my hair,
The warmth of the sun that makes my skin smile,
The way the sky looks in it's prime time of happiness,
The way the wind blows as I ride my bike,
The time when the beach is filled with hopefull smiles, dreams, and good vibes,
The perfect nights filled with smoke, music and conversations from the bonfire built by friends,
The way the stars make me think as they shine in the dark,
The endless nights filled with laughs, love, and memories..
The times when where young, free, and wild,
The mornings that we regret, from one to many beers.
The gold bronze color my skin turns after a day by the pool,
The glass of wine I enjoy, with good company,
The summer I'll remember, as I leave the nest.

The world is a blue paradise.
The cold air shivers on my skin,
My lungs can't afford to breath.

The world is closing it's windows,
I close my eyes..
I imagine glory...
A sunset to keep me free,

Lost in despair,
Who am I..
What am I...
A girl lost in paradise.

I wanna feel ******* happy with everything in me.
The more I try to reach it, the more I get lost,
What the **** is actual happiness...?
How long does it stay, and when does it arrive?
The negatives always out right the positives, but why?
Why is negativity so strong, and happiness is so weak?
Who is actually happy..

The coffee shop reeked of introspection
It was quiet but noisy at the same time
From slight chattering that flittered the patio to cars battling in traffic
She felt like she finally belonged

The smell of coffee thrilled her
She would romanticize each cup
Just the thought of hot steam curling around her lips as they pressed against the lovely mug made her quiver

She was never very patient
Every sip would slightly burn her tongue
But that never seemed to bother her

She valued the little things
Each sip, exhibited a moment of warmth, relief, and sincerity
In between each sip, her mind found relief
After each sip, sincerity found itself to be ironically bitter
It was 82 degrees and she found her coffee to be just as warm as the sun
Too busy romanticizing the view around her
She burnt her tongue once again

In December, I remember, I walked away
My boots were barely on as I stormed out of your doorway.
I left without a reason,
Without saying goodbye,
I just left.
But he said goodbye to me the moment he said those words to me,
His true intentions instintly became the reality I was always afraid to see,
Because you see, this boy was the only I saw gold and time in.
I saw purity in his soul,
The intentions of god that others could not witness, but I saw them.
I was proud of him.

He said good bye to me, the moment he broke that hope,
He walked away before I step out of his house,
Before I ever put my boots and struggled with the zipper of my coat.

He said nothing, as did I
The silence that was always louder than our words had finally won
That Decemeber, I knew things could never be the same

I loved you so much my heart hurt,
I felt that intolerable pain in my chest, as I ran to my car.
Everything became a blur to me,
That moment all the memories I had held on to oh so tight,
Became a lie,
something that was hidden by an invisible cloth
It could not be seen by the fool in love

I sat in my car in a second of pure silence,
I couldnt' think,
I couldn't feel,
I just sat.
My heart started to beat faster than a drum,
I panicked,
And I couldn't have reversed any faster out of a drive way than I did that day

In the middle of the street diagonally i stayed there, while my foot laid on the break ready to put my car in drive,
I ubruptly stopped.
He ran out of his house screaming my name,
Telling me to stop,
We both knew he didn't mean the car, or me leaving.
Its almost kinda sad, two lost souls who are afraid to speak,
Who are afraid to love.
He banged his hands on my window, and in that second so much happened when your eyes interlocked.
I felt it,
He felt it,
We both knew.
You knew that day in decemeber when the sky was gray and cool that nothing was the same.
I rolled my window down and a breeze of nothing hit my skin
Shocked I looked at him, but missing his eyes.
Holding my breath and my tears
The air was muted
He could not see the pain my eyes held because I could not face him.
He finally said something, something so irrelevant it cringed my skin

The dreamer I am,
thought finally the movie scene I've been waiting to happen.
The moment the guy said, "my biggest mistake was not being with you."
And after that, I'd look straight in his eyes and let him know it was right, and I'd kiss him.
Everything would be okay because we knew we would have each other,
But that's not what happen.

He stood out side of my car,
Anxious, scared, confused
He asked me to borrow a movie.
Not just any movie,
A movie that we both loved and shared,
That whenever we watched it, we thought of each other
The movie that brought us together years ago

Reading the subtitle of his words
I knew he thought he messed up.

That day in Decemeber, he lost me
A girl that loved him
A girl that could never forgive, but never forget
The girl that loved that boy, but didn't love her.