Who I thought you'd be
Is not who you are

It skewers me.
Left to cook like meat on a stick
Leftovers that are never eaten
A flavorless piece of swine
Wrapped around miscellaneous produce

Eat me!
Eat me!

But I never will.
Keep in my fridge to eye
Watching as it molds...

...the skewer stays right in my heart
That once beat for you

A thousand times a day I think of you
All the things we could do
I want you close I want you near

Someone to make the time pass

But now is not my time
I know when the tears come I'll ask myself the age old question
And I know in my current skin I have not grown

But I long for someone to take away the aloneness.

I sit here and I look and you and I dont want what you have...
I dont envy

So when the tears come rollin
Ask yourself have you grown

The ripening discomfort of being alone

She was the one for you but she is long gone. I didnt realize I was here to fill her shoes. I almost want to ask her why she left but it isn't my place. I see red flags but I'm not sure if I'll go...because I'm stuck. Kicked from the places I know I became a vigilante with you. I have 8 months

I'm just the baby Mama
She was your love

To pull you close was all I ever wanted to do.
Perhaps some sort of kiss but I'm not sure if I even would want to go there.

The feelings of knowing he never actually wanted to meet will slowly fade for my mind wants to never remember your face

An incompatibility known to be true but a type of relationship known to be drawn into

For these are the days I once was wild wild no longer you cease to exist to me

I'm not as self but as something new.

Golfer man and she knew you

But I never knew that she was who

The one who invented the love of you

And now that aside here I am

Squish sardine pressed into a can

The man who wrote the man I knew

Well I gave him away in spite of food

And now the longing for the words I wish

The words that I so dearly Miss

The perseverence and I don't even know his middle name.

I've grown fond and I seem to grow fonder daily but I'm not sure what's to come

If I hold on tightly but ever so slightly unravel I know I'd be fine for the strands making up my bind, would only show the true colors that make up me.

What's to come I'll surely not know but what I do know is I hope it's with you

When im not around
Will you think of me

Will we remember these moments
Coupled in each other's arms
Lost in a loss of not really and truly knowing what we have done or what is left to do...

I won't remember
But i also won't forget

Blue briefs
One kiss
****** after ******

My best friend.
We go there again.

Strands of her hair found at the bottom of my mug.
As if the last thing I were to do would be to taste her.

If I were ever to feel the way I do now,  again.
I would never see your face.
I blame all of this on you.
Hope you remember her face
Hope you remember her strands

You fed the hand then the hand
Bit you
You hold the hand
For the hand is you

Pout pout pout

For you are Blue
The one who roams
But hasnt got a clue

Frustrustration
I have succumb to cyclic living.
Ill never escape.
But ill die trying

Its what I want

To hide in darkness veil
Cloaked in this blanket
That has never felt more comfortable
And
Irresposible
As the choices that should not be
Made on this Day

Slowly unfolding
The Priceline has flatlined.  
You'll see now,
So we can find out now.

It was yesterday that I said we stay but, the price line has flatlined today

I can't think
I can't breathe
I can't be who I want to be.
Inside me
The box
Kept me from being free.
I opened the box
To find
Its emptiness

Stuck
                                                                         a twisted spot in my mind

                     A place that would devour you whole

There-

               I
                        find solitude

                                     It's where I found myself

sitting alone...
I have always been

Alone

Am I ever truly.


the contradiction spins itself in my head

hypothesized:
                         I will never Be


                                         Me, Myself and Aigis

The entire time
I only wanted one thing
I now know it was just a spring fling
I close my eyes and all I see is distorted


I'm glad my feelings were never reported

In the midst of conversation
A top conversation,
Atop conversation
What do we speak of ?
Something quite brand new...
Processed so late.
But, in the moment a blend of Hues.
Simply shades that have no name.-
A painting nameless
But, purely painless
trapped in a circle of jargon.
I'm sure I'll hear that car again?
it was implied...
Smoke in the face
A massage, noises I cant recreate
A simple serenade of two.
But not sure which fire Would choose.

These Chones are cute-
A challenge
Burn!
I feel it coming.
A breath on coals.
It Burns
Continuously Burning me
Continuosly mocking me.
under the breathe I heard the. Words.
It would never be so.
The rush came and the.
Rush will go.
Was it all real.
An assumption that feeds the mold it fuels it self and eats me whole.
Words only to describe the gestures that keep it alive

the exchange of words. Would never be comprehended.

To devour the wholeness of you
When I look into your pools of blue.
I feel you. Its true.
You have a resinence that feeds me
"I'm into you"
A nervous twitch an non existent
Itch.

Some how I let these thoughts race inside my head.
Consistently unaware as to how I was lead to think this.
They are turning on me
taking over.
Ramblings of things that could or should have been.
Alters-
I'm frightened by the idea that all of this is within me.
The map of thoughts lies descretely so, how could I put myself beneath me.
Buried in mind
The physical is gone.

I had a great time.
would live to see you soon.
I'm fearful to see you
Because I know when I do that I might tremble.
I'm not sure if its because I don't know you well enough,

Or of its the fact that  I am betraying myself.

Mystery girl no more.
I'm am not an open door.
I know what it is I have been scouting.
So here I am mildly pouting
What is this though.
My legs are not a fashioned henge.
So I am a ***?
***** and rude because they don't split.
I'll take no banana
And that's just it...

I seem to twitch when your around.
I dare not mention your name...
Only because I don't know it.
I catch a glimpse, eyes upon eyes;
shyness engulfs me whole.
To my surprise I glitch.
Extrovert, certainly,
but with you I have found a shell.

A filter.
A more refined me.
percolated.
A sip-
to taste.

I almost died thinking of you.
I turned on the wrong burner.
Lost in thought I smelt fire.
The brownies burnt and water never boiled.
I turned on the wrong burner...
Mad was sad and sad was grumpy.
All sorts of emotion.
But the fact of the matter is...

Whats your name again ?
Whats my age again?

I liked the idea of you
An amorphous shape.
A Single cell organism
with an idea of me.

Now you know and know I know.

When I am here I know that It is to benefit me.

For some reason I seem to get spastic.

The only thing is that...

Its already over and done.

surroundings around me.
Trying to perceive.
The only thing is ...
There's nothing to perceive
I feel nothing around me.

And now I know.
that pbr is bad...

Battle dog.

The night is young and so am I
Sometimes the prettiest things must die.
Survival of the fittest and I'm ready to breed.
Its in me and I can not deny that fact.

I smell nothing.  
I taste nothing.
Its due to the smokes.

And that's nothing to you.
Aye aye captain.

Finally told me what I am.
Split, between two.
Now I know who is who.

Kamblamian Is me.
And Anise is who?
Aigis is gone. Replaced by me.

The same person just stuck in the frontal lobe...

Personally just me,
Anise

The light that sat upon his face
weighed heavy

Jaded

never been more dark
         a hole in your wall
Against your wall
we were pressed

                      "I beg of you,
                 please, come back"

I doodled for days,
thinking and drawing faces,
they all looked like yours.
...sold caricatures...
Emotional ploy,

Three days, none,
Pushed away like a hyphen.
So logically speaking.
I have taken a break from...
Drawing

The love that drove you mad.
round the track you race,
The love was mad.
I ignored you.
No, one puts baby in the coroner.
I set you there.
Now, I am mad.
Pout.
No doubt.
Mad love.

I Hate you so.
Passion I feel.
I'll unwind you like bent steal.
I'll complain the whole time...

I'M no superwoman but I will be fine.

Unless you morph.  
Comorbidity would make you worse.
So, I'll focus on a hearse...
Anxiety, you could take me there if I let you.  
Your no depression- I'd never let you...
Many roots tangled so-
Still a solid foundation...(...)
Vacation?

I forgot the day and time has come,
My birthday has now come and gone.
I feel no growth,
I'm still quite short;

Stunted from the coffee.

Doctors said, "she'll be tall"
Boy, how I fooled them all.

Another year, another day.
Happy 7:09 am Ma.

So why do I know my soul?
My soul.
My soul,
Why do I hate you so
My soul negative plus negative
Conductivity
I don't have a soul
But I'd give you mine
You'll be fine,you'll be mine.
You'll be fine with my soul.
So dead inside the head and now i know.
My sweet soul and now ill use my brain to charge myself back up again.
Sleep little girl inside.
Now i know my soul inside
So dead so now ill open my mind.
So dead as well
So now I'm swell
So now i know nothing at all.

I say good bye ten hundred times a day.
If a could catch a glimpse of you looking my way.
A positive High
Hello

Perhaps it was a one time ordeal.
Until that time again,
I won't know.
Words are Words-
Just give me something physical.
A chemical reaction.
I'm seeking for a fix...

If i were to go...

Oh! the heart break.
Alone...
But so well.

Oh! the heart break.
Alone...
But so well.

Gun, your the one. Your the reason why i failed.
Gun, your the gun. Your the reason why i failed.

Your done.
Your not the one.

Your done
Your not the one.

Can't stop.
Flowing in and through
Let them go?
let them pass hanging to every moment.
remember then,
It all settles in.
Not a single word to describe the sensation.
Reverberation off the mind.
Thoughts intertwine.
You.