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Kamblamian Jul 2019
I know my days are better when your gone.
I know I can imagine life without you.

I gave you the benefit of the doubt-

But I'm looking for better days
No thank you
Jul 2019 · 405
Expectation kabob
Kamblamian Jul 2019
Who I thought you'd be
Is not who you are

It skewers me.
Left to cook like meat on a stick
Leftovers that are never eaten
A flavorless piece of swine
Wrapped around miscellaneous produce

Eat me!
Eat me!

But I never will.
Keep in my fridge to eye
Watching as it molds...

...the skewer stays right in my heart
That once beat for you
Datings rough
Jul 2019 · 390
Sour Applesauce
Kamblamian Jul 2019
A thousand times a day I think of you
All the things we could do
I want you close I want you near

Someone to make the time pass

But now is not my time
I know when the tears come I'll ask myself the age old question
And I know in my current skin I have not grown

But I long for someone to take away the aloneness.

I sit here and I look and you and I dont want what you have...
I dont envy

So when the tears come rollin
Ask yourself have you grown

The ripening discomfort of being alone
Dating is rough
Jul 2019 · 344
You ground me
Kamblamian Jul 2019
A void of space and time
Standing without a place to stand
We turn Into the dark abyss
Alone I seek the void
We transcend

I'm left alone

Your left alone.

Left where fear succumbs to the uplifted
Although were apart we haven't drifted
Into the dark abyss our fear created.
Adventures alone time passes belated

A void of space and time.
We've entered alone
How will we come together
How will we get home
May 2019 · 214
Red Flags
Kamblamian May 2019
Hold me close and tight
Feel your breath into the night
Can we be again?
May 2019 · 222
She is gone
Kamblamian May 2019
She was the one for you but she is long gone. I didnt realize I was here to fill her shoes. I almost want to ask her why she left but it isn't my place. I see red flags but I'm not sure if I'll go...because I'm stuck. Kicked from the places I know I became a vigilante with you. I have 8 months

I'm just the baby Mama
She was your love
Sep 2018 · 184
Endless love
Kamblamian Sep 2018
The changing of season
leaves behind the illusion of an Endless love
only to realize I can not fathom
Endless love
In shear panic I run
Far enough away to realize
Our love ended.
Our plan failed
And we are no longer
Thinking of vast happenings drives me mad
Aug 2018 · 245
I II II relationship
Kamblamian Aug 2018
To pull you close was all I ever wanted to do.
Perhaps some sort of kiss but I'm not sure if I even would want to go there.

The feelings of knowing he never actually wanted to meet will slowly fade for my mind wants to never remember your face

An incompatibility known to be true but a type of relationship known to be drawn into

For these are the days I once was wild wild no longer you cease to exist to me
Feelings on a slow letdown
Aug 2018 · 979
Fell for a fool
Kamblamian Aug 2018
I'm not as self but as something new.

Golfer man and she knew you

But I never knew that she was who

The one who invented the love of you

And now that aside here I am

Squish sardine pressed into a can

The man who wrote the man I knew

Well I gave him away in spite of food

And now the longing for the words I wish

The words that I so dearly Miss
Confessional poetry
Aug 2018 · 178
Obsession
Kamblamian Aug 2018
The perseverence and I don't even know his middle name.

I've grown fond and I seem to grow fonder daily but I'm not sure what's to come

If I hold on tightly but ever so slightly unravel I know I'd be fine for the strands making up my bind, would only show the true colors that make up me.

What's to come I'll surely not know but what I do know is I hope it's with you
Confessional poetry
Jul 2018 · 399
Will you think of me
Kamblamian Jul 2018
When im not around
Will you think of me

Will we remember these moments
Coupled in each other's arms
Lost in a loss of not really and truly knowing what we have done or what is left to do...

I won't remember
But i also won't forget

Blue briefs
One kiss
****** after ******

My best friend.
We go there again.
I fell for a friend and now i neee to recollect. Theres not much more ro say than we were in the mood for love
May 2018 · 211
Run into
Kamblamian May 2018
The darkness preveiles over all
So quick to miss the signs of a true lover

Does he hit
Does he sway
Does he fall constantly on his face


A drunken man would become of him or a man who would ******* wine

Hear my wine
Know her cry dosent exist

For the banshee is the one who claws at you

For the Banshee is the one who screams in pain for her lost love

For leo ruled with heart and soul

Too smart for them
Too smart for it-self

love itself
Entaglment

Refining love
Being loved...
Has never existed

Can it alow it to love and be loved apon Fear none for the touch of soft hands is not one to ever shy away from one to another your being compliments my life more than you will ever know for you are the fore fathers son

Loves
What is love.. for i know now it in the touch in the movement in itself a whole heart sweat investment
Apr 2018 · 229
Just my friend
Kamblamian Apr 2018
Im over you
The way you are

Movement so slow like sloth motion

Im over waiting for you beck and call

Im over waiting for you to fall

The way you looked
So hungry

Id feed you mine

Im over
Feb 2018 · 254
Bad at goodbyes
Kamblamian Feb 2018
I'm just not sure how to transition
It's a mild hickup

I'm not sure the last words to say
For goodbye just barely sums up the encounter we have just made

See you soon,
It sounds better
Socially awkward by nature
Feb 2018 · 237
FMLA
Kamblamian Feb 2018
You call her after you've called her names
You call her after we've spoken
You call her to say I was never there
You call her to say how much you dislike me
I'm in your bed at night
You say you love me
He's 4 months
And
You call and beg for her
When she's been here
The whole time

It's hard to get her back Peach
Whose to say
Jan 2018 · 392
The iguana
Kamblamian Jan 2018
Strands of her hair found at the bottom of my mug.
As if the last thing I were to do would be to taste her.

If I were ever to feel the way I do now,  again.
I would never see your face.
I blame all of this on you.
Hope you remember her face
Hope you remember her strands
He's a cheater
May 2017 · 311
Ill see you soon
Kamblamian May 2017
In a position
No different then usuual.
I've left your home
Upper hands
You dont want the baby
You dont want me

But you want me to leave my television to play games

Thats too unfortunate.

So I walk away carrying my television
What am I to do.
May 2017 · 234
Bit by The Blue
Kamblamian May 2017
You fed the hand then the hand
Bit you
You hold the hand
For the hand is you

Pout pout pout

For you are Blue
The one who roams
But hasnt got a clue
I got bit by an iguana and now im hurt
Kamblamian May 2017

I often wonder if i truly act as ****** as I feel
Why dont you learn how to live your life

Why dont you learn how to live life

We all seem to know the drill
#f
May 2017 · 223
One
Kamblamian May 2017
One
I can't find one
I couldnt find one
To find one
I've found none
Couldn't find one
To've found none


The simplilest of things and what to do
Why did I fail
Without just cause
Walking around spouting like a black kettle
Latter

Boil over; Boiled over
Easy; so easy
Pouts
Pouting
Boiled over
No spout

What have I done
First writing in a while. Getting started again is always a start, a process better time then now
Dec 2016 · 301
Spaces between the lines.
Kamblamian Dec 2016
Frustrustration
I have succumb to cyclic living.
Ill never escape.
But ill die trying
To a new life style and way of thinking
Kamblamian Oct 2016
Its what I want

To hide in darkness veil
Cloaked in this blanket
That has never felt more comfortable
And
Irresposible
As the choices that should not be
Made on this Day
Lost in a transition
Aug 2016 · 329
Wheres your baby?
Kamblamian Aug 2016
Slowly unfolding
The Priceline has flatlined.  
You'll see now,
So we can find out now.

It was yesterday that I said we stay but, the price line has flatlined today
Get your **** together
Kamblamian Aug 2016
I can't think
I can't breathe
I can't be who I want to be.
Inside me
The box
Kept me from being free.
I opened the box
To find
Its emptiness
when your stuck, truly stuck.
Jul 2016 · 626
The thinking spot
Kamblamian Jul 2016
Stuck
                                                                         a twisted spot in my mind

                     A place that would devour you whole

There-

               I
                        find solitude

                                     It's where I found myself

sitting alone...
I have always been

Alone

Am I ever truly.


the contradiction spins itself in my head

hypothesized:
                         I will never Be


                                         Me, Myself and Aigis
no matter how quiet, I find something to listen to.
Jul 2016 · 453
Transidental
Kamblamian Jul 2016
Wasting time
not crossed the line
moving slow
and now we know

we need to
Move
-Kamblamian
Jun 2016 · 582
Blunt force to the face
Kamblamian Jun 2016
The entire time
I only wanted one thing
I now know it was just a spring fling
I close my eyes and all I see is distorted


I'm glad my feelings were never reported
Garbage poems 2.0
Sep 2015 · 370
Those Chones though
Kamblamian Sep 2015
In the midst of conversation
A top conversation,
Atop conversation
What do we speak of ?
Something quite brand new...
Processed so late.
But, in the moment a blend of Hues.
Simply shades that have no name.-
A painting nameless
But, purely painless
trapped in a circle of jargon.
I'm sure I'll hear that car again?
it was implied...
Smoke in the face
A massage, noises I cant recreate
A simple serenade of two.
But not sure which fire Would choose.

These Chones are cute-
A challenge
Burn!
I feel it coming.
A breath on coals.
It Burns
Continuously Burning me
Continuosly mocking me.
under the breathe I heard the. Words.
It would never be so.
The rush came and the.
Rush will go.
Was it all real.
An assumption that feeds the mold it fuels it self and eats me whole.
Words only to describe the gestures that keep it alive

the exchange of words. Would never be comprehended.
Whatbdo I do with thos
Kamblamian Jul 2015
To devour the wholeness of you
When I look into your pools of blue.
I feel you. Its true.
You have a resinence that feeds me
"I'm into you"
A nervous twitch an non existent
Itch.
I'm boy finished
But I just wanted to let you know
Jul 2015 · 515
kamblamian blue
Kamblamian Jul 2015
Some how I let these thoughts race inside my head.
Consistently unaware as to how I was lead to think this.
They are turning on me
taking over.
Ramblings of things that could or should have been.
Alters-
I'm frightened by the idea that all of this is within me.
The map of thoughts lies descretely so, how could I put myself beneath me.
Buried in mind
The physical is gone.
Depression and anxiety is causing me to twitch.
Jul 2015 · 384
The Catch of the Hour
Kamblamian Jul 2015
Pressed against a rock blood poured profusely from  his cheek
To control the spasm
To slow the bleeding was not possible.
Panic and Instinct took over as soon as the flesh was pierced by metal that ripped through the layers of skin
Followed by the instant need to breath,
pain soon took over and a black out was near.
He continuously flipped sides wondering if this would bring him closer to the direction of survival.
Instinct-
Before any direction was taken, a light reflected into his eyes
Unable to blink he finally saw what was forth coming

Detached from his body he was now was split into two.

*to the tune of "Oh-My-Darlin'" in A minor

The fish was prepared deliciously
A Lemon pepper rub grilled into the skin.
Avoir poison!
blocked and foggy brain: shmeh
peskitarians
Jul 2015 · 458
Thoughts at a Market
Kamblamian Jul 2015
I had a great time.
would live to see you soon.
I'm fearful to see you
Because I know when I do that I might tremble.
I'm not sure if its because I don't know you well enough,

Or of its the fact that  I am betraying myself.

Mystery girl no more.
I'm am not an open door.
I know what it is I have been scouting.
So here I am mildly pouting
What is this though.
My legs are not a fashioned henge.
So I am a ***?
***** and rude because they don't split.
I'll take no banana
And that's just it...
All over **** place with my emotions
Kamblamian Jun 2015
I seem to twitch when your around.
I dare not mention your name...
Only because I don't know it.
I catch a glimpse, eyes upon eyes;
shyness engulfs me whole.
To my surprise I glitch.
Extrovert, certainly,
but with you I have found a shell.

A filter.
A more refined me.
percolated.
A sip-
to taste.
I don't know if I can go back... I used their bathroom five times.
Jun 2015 · 523
The Hills have Eyes
Kamblamian Jun 2015
I almost died thinking of you.
I turned on the wrong burner.
Lost in thought I smelt fire.
The brownies burnt and water never boiled.
I turned on the wrong burner...
Mad was sad and sad was grumpy.
All sorts of emotion.
But the fact of the matter is...

Whats your name again ?
Whats my age again?

I liked the idea of you
An amorphous shape.
A Single cell organism
with an idea of me.

Now you know and know I know.
Short term memory or selective hearing
Jun 2015 · 289
Waiting Rooms
Kamblamian Jun 2015
When I am here I know that It is to benefit me.

For some reason I seem to get spastic.

The only thing is that...

Its already over and done.
Anxiety
Jun 2015 · 365
kamblamian 2.0
Kamblamian Jun 2015
surroundings around me.
Trying to perceive.
The only thing is ...
There's nothing to perceive
I feel nothing around me.

And now I know.
that pbr is bad...

Battle dog.
The life that you will  always be circling through
Jun 2015 · 459
loco patron
Kamblamian Jun 2015
The night is young and so am I
Sometimes the prettiest things must die.
Survival of the fittest and I'm ready to breed.
Its in me and I can not deny that fact.

I smell nothing.  
I taste nothing.
Its due to the smokes.

And that's nothing to you.
Aye aye captain.
When you drink margaritas
Jun 2015 · 333
kamblamian
Kamblamian Jun 2015
Finally told me what I am.
Split, between two.
Now I know who is who.

Kamblamian Is me.
And Anise is who?
Aigis is gone. Replaced by me.

The same person just stuck in the frontal lobe...

Personally just me,
Anise
me, myself and irene
May 2015 · 592
Yakult-
Kamblamian May 2015
The light that sat upon his face
weighed heavy

Jaded

never been more dark
         a hole in your wall
Against your wall
we were pressed

                      "I beg of you,
                 please, come back"
Lost Love.
May 2015 · 490
sketchy
Kamblamian May 2015
I doodled for days,
thinking and drawing faces,
they all looked like yours.
...sold caricatures...
Emotional ploy,

Three days, none,
Pushed away like a hyphen.
So logically speaking.
I have taken a break from...
Drawing
Regette...
May 2015 · 7.3k
mad love
Kamblamian May 2015
The love that drove you mad.
round the track you race,
The love was mad.
I ignored you.
No, one puts baby in the coroner.
I set you there.
Now, I am mad.
Pout.
No doubt.
Mad love.
Regret
Apr 2015 · 1.9k
Hypochondriac Anxiety
Kamblamian Apr 2015
I Hate you so.
Passion I feel.
I'll unwind you like bent steal.
I'll complain the whole time...

I'M no superwoman but I will be fine.

Unless you morph.  
Comorbidity would make you worse.
So, I'll focus on a hearse...
Anxiety, you could take me there if I let you.  
Your no depression- I'd never let you...
Many roots tangled so-
Still a solid foundation...(...)
Vacation?
I am only human anxiety is what I feel. Anxiety about who in this world is "real"
Apr 2015 · 1.2k
Day of birth- belated
Kamblamian Apr 2015
I forgot the day and time has come,
My birthday has now come and gone.
I feel no growth,
I'm still quite short;

Stunted from the coffee.

Doctors said, "she'll be tall"
Boy, how I fooled them all.

Another year, another day.
Happy 7:09 am Ma.
Mothers who want you to watch yourself being born.
Apr 2015 · 490
Rebirth
Kamblamian Apr 2015
So why do I know my soul?
My soul.
My soul,
Why do I hate you so
My soul negative plus negative
Conductivity
I don't have a soul
But I'd give you mine
You'll be fine,you'll be mine.
You'll be fine with my soul.
So dead inside the head and now i know.
My sweet soul and now ill use my brain to charge myself back up again.
Sleep little girl inside.
Now i know my soul inside
So dead so now ill open my mind.
So dead as well
So now I'm swell
So now i know nothing at all.
loss of a love
Mar 2015 · 633
Mail Man...
Kamblamian Mar 2015
I say good bye ten hundred times a day.
If a could catch a glimpse of you looking my way.
A positive High
Hello
In mourning and the simplest things seem to please.
Feb 2015 · 513
Cannabots
Kamblamian Feb 2015
Perhaps it was a one time ordeal.
Until that time again,
I won't know.
Words are Words-
Just give me something physical.
A chemical reaction.
I'm seeking for a fix...
Feb 2015 · 414
Pooled
Kamblamian Feb 2015
Give and and take.
Harmonious balance-
Homogenous Shake.
Binary Vibration.

So Slowly
I melt...
Falling to the -
Bottom.
I reach the floor.
Feb 2015 · 323
If i were to go-
Kamblamian Feb 2015
If i were to go...

Oh! the heart break.
Alone...
But so well.

Oh! the heart break.
Alone...
But so well.

Gun, your the one. Your the reason why i failed.
Gun, your the gun. Your the reason why i failed.

Your done.
Your not the one.

Your done
Your not the one.
trash
Feb 2015 · 373
Go with the Flow
Kamblamian Feb 2015
Can't stop.
Flowing in and through
Let them go?
let them pass hanging to every moment.
remember then,
It all settles in.
Not a single word to describe the sensation.
Reverberation off the mind.
Thoughts intertwine.
You.

— The End —