As you sleep peacefully next to me
I silently hold in the tears
I lightly shake my foot
And my heart painfully breaks.

To be so lonely
When only inches away
You lay.

As our souls die
In the bed we lie
Our hearts break
And no longer we can take.

Our paths separate
Our love fades
Though it didn’t last long
The pain will linger for decades

You are my first true
I thought you were the one
But now I must let you fly
Like the Dove
You are my love.

Until we meet once more.

You’re there for me,
Until I actually need you.
Then I’m an inconvenience,
You get so angry,
You get so short, shove it in my face and hate everything about it.
Is this what love is?
Is this what needing you is?
If so I never want to need you again.

Nothings ever enough to satisfy another's soul,
     of how you should live your life to please them.
You will never please anyone enough,
     to fulfill their lustful hunger
     even if you conquer their dirtiest request.
You'll never earn their love bending backwards,
    at your hips,
    to give their feet butterfly kisses,
    of needing love.
Until the day you die,
    the leak in the corners of you eye will continue,
    if you chose to love those who don't deserve your heart.
Until you cherish the drum that beats,
    in the cavity of your chest,
No one will ever believe you are enough,
    to give you the respect you deserve.

I'm sorry, you feel, I dont care about your feelings,
But; how about the way you make me feel?

You make me feel so little and small.
You make me feel invisible.
When it comes to my mental health,
When it comes to my feelings.
Instead of asking how I feel,
You TELL me how I feel.

Don't tell me how I feel.
Don't tell me what I feel.
Don't tell me what I think.
Don't tell me What I see.

You are not in my head,
You do NOT know what runs through my mind,
What races I push to win,
What marathons I struggle to win;
Every day of my life.

Don't tell me when I listen, and when I don't.
Don't tell me when I love, and don't love.
Don't tell me when I try, and when I've given up.

I'm tired of people always telling me how I am and how to do it.
The last person I ever expected it from was you,
"THE ONE" "THE ONLY" "MY FOREVER"
But you do it to me the most,
You are the worst,

Don't tell me when I am in pain, or when "it's in my head"
Don't tell me when I am looking for attention,
Don't tell me when I'm not depressed,
Don't tell me when I'm happy or just "manic."

STOP TELLING ME WHAT IS GOING ON IN
MY HEAD!
MY HEART!
MY BODY!
and
MY SOUL!

You always inform me how you wish we had communication,
That doesn't consist of you telling me how I am feeling,
What I am feeling,
Or why I am feeling.
DON'T
TELL
ME
How I feel.

You feel like I don't give a ****
You feel like I don't care
You think I don't hurt
You think I don't feel the pain
You think I don't cry at night
You don't think my heart isn't breaking
You don't think I'm not screaming
You don't think I'm not reaching out for you at night
You don't think I'm not falling apart

What you don't see is that behind that locked, bathroom door
My eyes leak, NO pour salty water, down my rosy cheeks.
Smearing the days makeup  I put on just for you.
They swell more then the time you wrapped string around your finger in 5th grade and watched it turned purple,
They burn, turn red, yet seem bluer then you could fathom.  
My heart shatters into the smallest pieces, a single grain of sand looks giant next to it.
My screams are so loud that the deaf can hear them, I fall to my knees reaching for you every night but its to late.

I told you to be patient
I told you be we would be fine
But you couldn't hold on
You couldn't wait anymore.
Your love was not as strong as you thought.
Your love was not as powerful as you wanted.
I was not who you wanted like you'd hoped.

If you're going to fall in love with me, here are some of the things you should know beforehand. I cry often, Whether its during a movie a sad song on the radio or a regular sunday morning. Even if you dont see it I am crying.. Ill cry even when i think or talk about things that have hurt me even if they no longer are painful, i am afraid of being left and i am afraid of not being good enough. I will tell you the ways in which i hate myself and not believe you and a single word you say when you disagree  with each and every reason, you can tell me countless times over and over again that you you love me, but i will still be afraid of you leaving me. I have to expect the worst in things, cause i always end up with the worst. When I fall in love with you i will love each and every crack in your skin every freckle of light in your eyes and i will fall in love with with the way you look while you sleep and the way your mouth curves when you say my name, i can be difficult to love but for me,loving you will be easy. all i ask is that you dont give up on me and in return ill never give up on you i will love you with my entire heart. and if one day you decide to leave, i will still think highly of you. I will still remember the kind heart person you are, the smell of your hair on a warm summer night, the way you bite your lip before you kiss me and i will always continue to love you....