You make me laugh,
When I want to cry.

You make me live,
When I want to die.

You make me smile,
When I want to frown.

You turn my world upside down,
With every kiss we share.

You believe in me,
When no one else does

When you call my name,
I begin to blush.

When I'm with you,
Time seems to fly by so fast.

I'm afraid people will notice,
I need you so much.

I need you more,
Than you believe.

I love you,
More than you conceive.

I think about you,
Every night and day.

I only hope,
My life can stay this way.

I don't want it to be any other way,
Can't see it being any other way.

When I first met you
I felt like I had known you forever,
telling you my secrets
and what I didn't want ever.

You listened to me.
I bet you thought I'd never end.
Who would have thought
we would become more than just friends.

Over a period of time
I got to know you.
A women so caring and gentle
with a heart so true.

You've survived your life
with hurt and loneliness by your side.
With pain and sorrow lurking.

I told you I'd never leave
because of the feelings I have inside.
Sometimes I wonder
what I'd do if you were gone?

So I have decided
time answers all.
If it is meant to be,
time will remove the wall.

I love the way we are together.
You can always make me smile.
Will it ever really be forever?

I guess I will have to wait awhile.
Time will reveal what lies ahead,
but always remember
what I have said.

Meeting you has changed my life,
and I loving you has been a blessing.
The feelings I feel for you
I am never letting go.

Remember me always
and I will too.
I always think of
me and you.

7 years ago I met a girl,
She was rough,
She was kind,
She was independent,
And she wasn't mine.

The moment I laid my eyes on you,
There was something in the way you move,
There was something in the way you talked,
There was something in the way you were,
There was something in the way you loved,
That made me want to be your something.

You were taken.
I was taken.
But that didn't stop the love from growing.
The heart wants what it wants.
And mine wanted you.

7 years ago all I could imagine
Is what it would be like being the girl in your bed,
Being the girl riding shotgun,
Fingers locked in with yours,
Wind blowing through our hair,
Seeing you sneak glances my direction as you drove,
Radio blasting on that sunny day.

But that was not how it was to happen.
Sometimes we can dream.
Sometimes we can hope.
Sometimes we can pray.
But not everything we want comes true.
7 years ago my heart never thought it would get what it desired.

Today I sit here in our bed writing this,
I sit in the passenger seat stealing glances at you,
that turn in to smiling stares,
I'm the one making you laugh,
I'm the one you call baby,
I'm the one you come home to at the end of a hard night at work,
I'm the one stealing kisses at red lights,
I'm the one holding your fragile heart,
Keeping it safe from pain,
I got the dream.

So let me tell you of a tale from 7 years ago,
That I NEVER thought would come true.

How do I mend a broken heart?
My entire world has fallen apart.
How do I find hope in a brand new day,
when the one I love has gone away?
My mind overflows with memories of you,
of all that we've shared, all that we knew.
I long for your touch and your warm embrace,
the look in your eyes, the smile on your face.
My dreams are filled with your soft gentle kiss,
I wake and cry for all that I miss.
How do I mend a broken heart,
when my one true love and I are apart?
My heart knows to love only you, it won't let go, what do I do?
Our moments together were precious and few,
but I cherished them all more than you knew.
I love you, my angel, and always will.
I loved you then and I love you still.

The snow drifts from the roof tops,
Lights shine in the brisk evening.
Cheer is spread,
Joy follows behind the winter winds.

Letters are sent North to Saint Nick,
Children dream of what might come in the early morn,
Prayers are shared around the dinner table.
Memories are created to be never forgotten.
Stories being shared with those you love.

Tears fall upon my pillow,
While bellows of laughter echo,
From the other side of the bedroom door.
Life seems to be coming to a stop.

My only Christmas wish is to be by your side,
Surrounded by the most welcoming family,
The warmest love,
The family I always hoped to be apart of...
Yet it still isnt feeling like Christmas.

The joy, cheer and laughter being stolen away,
The pain hiding behind a fake smile..
The words echo "it could be worse."
If its true I dont want to know what it is.

My only prayer is that I wake up by your exciting yells.
All my letters to dear Saint Nick saying one thing.
"Please bring him home."
All go unanswered.

My only Christmas wish is to hear you say,
"Im home Mommy."
Hold you in my arms as we see what Santa has blessed you with.

She finally did it
She had the nerve
It came as easy as 1,2,3
For you and me.

This was her breaking point
Her time to fly high
End all this pain inside
to just call it her end.

In her manic state
Impulse hit her
She wraps the rope
Around her neck

She pulls it tight
Her tears fall
Her breathing becomes
Shallow and painful
The room starts grow dark.

Time passes
uncertainty as to how long.
What is going on?
Am I still alive?
Why is it so cold?

I'm numb.
I cant feel anything.
No pain.
No love.
Nothing.
Its...

Perfect.
After all this searching
For what is missing
I have finally found it!
I've never felt better!

Then...
I start to see a light again
and breathing becomes even more painful
and the pain starts to come back..

NO
WAIT!
I'm happy here!
I fight, I resist
I don't want to go back
I cry - more pain
I feel - more heartbreaking tears
I remember - more terrifying memories
The world growing heavier upon my shoulders again.

I'm back..
What I once thought for a brief minute or two was my new safe place, Inner-peace pain free zone was only an attempt.

Now the question that circles is
WHY did you save me?






Right before Christmas (2015) the stress built up and I "tried" to **** myself. Though i did succeed for a brief moment and it was an attempt cause my s.o. found me and brought me back to life. though i am still sitting here question why and wondering what my purpose is. Ive had a tad bit of writers block but i want to get this story out there too so this is all i can get hopefully at a later date there can be a better poem.

If anyone is struggling with depression and ever is stopping to this level I am here to talk and I encourage it all I needed that night was someone to talk to and no one was there for me prior to the moment.