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18
anonymous Sep 2020
18
every day is gone
before I know its here
every day I love
yes, ones filled with tears
please help me to grow
every single day
and never waste a moment
and love anyway
anonymous Sep 2020
I'm going to a birthday party
for a kid I barely know
another year of life
for a beautiful human soul
anonymous Jan 9
"I don't hate men!" it's  just that  well  you see
what's left for me to admire of them?
and I'm tired of playing the jester, I'm tired of playing the host
the mother, babysitter, designated driver, *** toy, but never really a person
always just something to touch
curves to caress and grab and strike
I mean he never cared about my tears or pleas, and I cried every time
still wounded by the irony of planning a future with a man who hasn't yet learned to love
still ****** from the chances I gave and excuses I made, undeserved
gut-punched from the text 'we've had so many conversations about how you deserve better'
and even now I still wish him the best
"I think I'm just more comfortable around women" I explain.
anonymous Jun 2020
the first cup of coffee
is hope
the remains of pandora's box
every morning
anonymous Sep 3
I wish I had a lasso big enough to throw around the moon
maybe then I could pull her down for you

If everything was right with the world and I could begin to give you every wonderful thing
I'd start by giving you the moon, the stars, and the sun
I'd give you the cosmos, glittering and shining
I'd give you every rainy day and thunderstorm, evenings spent out on a porch my hand in yours, listening intently to lightning crack
I'd give you all the birds
I'd give you a future, I'd give you a home
I'd give you a green couch and my head on your lap
I'd give you love and love and love
anonymous Sep 2020
curled laughter peels out of me
doubled over with crinkled eyes and dimples
driving too fast; corn to our right, soy beans to our left
music filling where my grin cannot stretch
nothing's ever too far when you're in your hometown
nothing's ever too far for you
anonymous Feb 18
she blinks up gazing at the moon off in space

walking backwards on the sidewalk as to not lose sight of her for a single second, as though she cannot bear to peel her eyes away or even to blink

she holds the entire cosmos in those eyes, shining like constellations in the night

she loves her so wholly, celestially, without regard for pragmatics or proselytizing

and she reminds me that she loves her without even meaning to, the words slip out without her giving the command
she is helpless in her all-consuming adoration

and I know the moon is just as helpless
up in the sky she's looking back down on this girl with starlight in her eyes and her frozen heart is leaping with the goodness she carries for this heavenly woman

I understand the moon in that way

I too carry goodness for this angel on the sidewalk who holds heaven in her eyes, because what else is there to do,

but to share helpless love with the moon
anonymous Sep 28
However terribly unromantic-
I am not a believer in soulmates.
Never been one for melodramatics,
preferring freedom of will over fate.

Yet, I assent to Paul's Calico Skies.
She's turned me into quite the idealist.
Perhaps angels of love who are all-wise,
watch over us just as the ballad promised.

Regardless, she has the rest of my life.
And I pray we will always know repose.
Held safe in her arms, I'll never know strife.
At peace with this wonderful life I chose.

I'll never let go of my love for her.
Of our affection, I'll always be sure.
anonymous Feb 2019
water droplets hanging
suspended on foggy glass
obscuring my vision
of a gray, hazy world
a dark eternity
why do I strain
to see out;
to the bleak
the hopeless
still
I wipe the glass clean
and with seeing
forlorn I close my eyes
anonymous Jan 2021
a hundred and eight hallow pomegranate seeds
slip through Rose's fingers
a hundred and eight cries from her knees
that Mother will watch son
through winter
anonymous Feb 2019
hope expands in your lungs

as you catch sight

of the faint glow,

at the end

of a long channel

bursting forth you soar

running towards the unknown

in the blind faith;

the possibility

it could be better than what is
anonymous Sep 3
wind whipped in Chicago I told you how I probably broke my hand way back in high school
didn't do anything about it so it didn't heal right
on bad days it goes all numb and tingly
most of the time it's fine though

you didn't think that was really okay, said I should talk to a doctor about it
you always made taking care of myself seem so reasonable,
so easy

you slipped into my life and I was hopeless
knew right away that I never wanted to let you go
so I'll hold onto you with my aching wrist
as you handle me gently
and I love you in every soft way I know
anonymous Jan 31
I gaily stomped my Blundstones through the snow after lecture, headed swiftly back to my dorm.
All bundled up in my dad's green crewneck and my new railroad-stripe overalls and the first beanie I'd ever crocheted
Iced lavender latte in one hand, key card in the other, and my earbuds chanting Chappell.
I held the door for the girl behind me a little ways
and she blushed
I walked away smiling to myself at this little femininomenon,
drank the rest of my coffee down, and curled up in my bed to write a love letter I knew I'd never send
musing over the phrase "chivalry is dead"
feeling pity for whosever grandmother first spoke those words
she must have never met a lesbian.
anonymous Feb 2019
the moon calls to the sea

drawing it in

whisked toward your glow

for you call to me,

to relieve me from life's sin

yes, the ambience of my beau

doth shine forevermore

a sparkle in my eye

a ray to make me soar
anonymous Sep 2020
My mind is choked by pleasant memories
how could I ever be glum with you as my companion?
Something so rich about childhood innocence
something that leaves us smiling
a familial bond that cannot be crippled
strengthened by holding hands
strengthened by sharing smiles
anonymous Dec 2020
I'm just saying,
if I had to, I would.
I'd do it all again

A Victorian farmhouse
four kids
a cat
love

no
gut punch
dampened cheeks
imposed character development
anonymous Sep 2020
An orange glow envelopes you,
cascading warmth.
I like to walk with you in step
so that effusive light may bleed onto my skin.
I like to live life
perched on the fluttering monarch's wing.
anonymous Feb 2019
not quite deserving
the love I have been given
not quite
no, I cannot return it
for I am broken yet
I love thee
but
dare not risk,
my own emotions
my own heart
so easily broken
no
I must act, pretend, feign
to not care
anonymous May 2020
you must untangle yourself
from the nets of my mind
so you too can swim
into the sea of confusion
threw me into cold deep waters
did you know I couldn't swim?
it's easier to ignore the guilt
just do whatever's best for you
I've lost the knife to cut you loose
I'm not even sure I care to
so if you strangle for a minute?
you've already slaughtered me
please leave
anonymous Sep 2020
Dad says we don't have bread flour
for my fancy focaccia bread
My grandma's biscuits don't call for bread flour
heaven's little clouds on our baking sheet
silky dress with a light blue cardigan
for church on sunday mornings
cows mooing
home.
anonymous Feb 2019
these winter days;

are no longer lilac

no longer tragically, beautiful

now just wrong

the sky, presently grey

mimicking our souls

will never shine again

not like it did before
This is a followup poem to lilac sky. I hope you enjoy it!
anonymous Jan 13
of all the things my hands have held, the best by far is you

our mittens knitted close together,
my hand swiftly (bashfully) offered before you slip and tumble
wholly, giggly and clinging to one another

forever on the brink of pulling the other down,
then crashing as the rest of the world fell away

without for a second letting go of your cool and knitted hand
anonymous Dec 2020
The oriental dragon
that stretches up my spine
protects the treasures of my soul
one day he will burst furth
a volcano rocketing up
bringing us to our eternal rest
And the gold he protected will be shared
anonymous Sep 2020
how nice it is to be close,
to say in confidence
"I am loved and have loved"
while sunshine seeps slowly, onto
your bedroom carpet
as I giggle and you sigh
anonymous Jun 2020
palettes of color
reminds us of summer
light to dark
tan-orange arc
lavender’s nice too
I'll paint for you
anonymous Mar 17
Dear Organism,

Oh, sweet living thing! From the moment, I laid eyes on you, I knew your cup runneth over. I knew you had health, love, ambition and vigor to spare. Intoxicated by your vitality, I began speaking my sweet nothings in your ear. Whispering gentle lies of love and adoration. You must know now that you were a fool.  Stupid, sullen girl, too eager to be loved to catch me dipping vial after vial in your cup; stealing the marrow out of your bones. And you know, you were the one who invited me in. From the first meaningless kiss, I knew I had you fully in my grasp and you would be mine to do with as I pleased. Testing the waters, I 'accidentally' burrowed under your clothes, spreading my incurable sicknesses. How easy you made it for me! Pitiful in the name of mercy and forgiveness, you let me have my way with you. Of course, you must know I never planned on staying. Those years spent drunk off your flesh and blood were simply a gratuity, a sweet little gift to myself. It took you ages to finally figure out I had poisoned you. Whenever I think of you crying and shaking your fists I still can't help but to laugh. You acted as though you weren't the one who gave everything to me, as though you didn't allow yourself to be marred. As if you weren't asking for it, flaunting your beating heart unguarded that fateful day we met! Idiot girl. I was told you plead that some Higher Power would be merciful instead of allowing you to continue living with your sickness. Pathetic. If I ever need you again, you know where to find me!

Yours,
Parasite
anonymous Oct 2020
faces made fuller by the painter's hands
life imitating art in a makeshift studio
captured moments of unlikely canvases
hues accentuating the humanness of design
strokes of pigment embellishing creation
anonymous Feb 2019
that autumn day was pain

tears cried for chances lost

the unwanted knowledge gained

the sky turned your favorite color that night

a lilac sky of hurt

tragically,

beautifully

wrong
#pain #loss #hurt #mourning
anonymous Nov 2023
The Cranberries hum their tune
in my mom's Outback Subaru

And I'm scared of growing up,
and I'm scared that I've already grown.

Why are we driving so fast?
Let's linger at the next stop

Let's drive slow, with the windows down,
feel the cold wind mess up your hair.

Turn up the music, let the light in—
I'll be here forever.
anonymous Dec 2020
Love demands action
the butterflies are worthless
flittering from corner to corner
Let them out of the cage you have made!
They will no longer suffice trapped
if you want to love me
Do so
anonymous Sep 2020
Sweet friend how I wish to be like you
naturally kind yet so strong too
how I'd like to walk the halls and people know my name
how I'd like to be surrounded by the Heaven's gaze
a sugar cookie frosted with pink icing
a silken curtain blowing through sunshine
a gift to an ridiculously serious world
anonymous Sep 3
four thousand miles
and I see you in every plane overhead

I miss you when I sip my morning coffee
I take it like you do now, iced chai with oat milk
any little thing to bring me closer to you

four thousand miles and every moment I try to inch closer
I think if I squeeze my eyes tight and try really hard
I could get our heartbeats to align

maybe if I start going to bed at 3 pm and wake up real early
it'll be enough to share sleep with you
that's probably silly though

instead I'll look up at the moon
I'll tell her every little thing about you
at least sharing the same sky will always bring me to you
anonymous Sep 2020
My piano teacher taught me
to love songs that play to hearts
Let me speak to yours
Let my language scream truth
anonymous Feb 18
the gravity of what he did weighed on me for so long

(causing my ribs to crack so I could never draw in a full breath, and my legs to give out from holding in the tension of the truth)

so long, that I'd forgotten what it felt like before he touched my skin

I'm remembering now, and it hurts as it cracks me open and tears down my walls
this facade that everything is 'just fine, thanks!' has worn me down and held me together
I performed the act for so long, I forced it to become my reality
the whispered guilt crept into my bones and settled there like a cancer, spreading in a paralyzing metastasis
with each extra chance given I nailed myself to my little proverbial cross
knowing that I couldn't be both the victim and a martyr, so I chose my own Sainthood

and now he's gone

the dam collapses and now it's drowning me and I am drowning!
and there is no way for me to swim, he's killing me even now
and yet if he is the death of me I'll rise again in a spiteful show of metanoia

I'll be back transcended, back wearing armour
back flaunting my stigmata and with the unguarded meat of my heart, I'll tear apart every veil he draped over my scars
I'll bring about Armageddon just to see that traitor cower
anonymous Sep 3
my heart trembles,
sweet piano trills when I gaze into your eyes

and when you touch my hand
dear God, I can hear the horns soaring

and being held in your arms,
I feel the strings buzzing and humming inside me

your gelled nails run through my hair
and a soulful timpani rumbles in my chest

oh Love being with you
puts entire orchestras to shame

you must be my life's magnum opus
the sweetest symphony to ever sound
anonymous Feb 2019
nothing hurts more than anything
the feeling; there is no feeling
the thought I'll never think again
this complete nothingness that is me
there were nights I'd lie awake with tears
but nights have passed
now I lie awake with fears
for my future;
the emptiness it contains
anonymous Sep 3
A year ago I asked my therapist if she had any advice on how to live Catholic and Queer
today the revelation struck that my macabre upbringing has formed me for adoration
I learned in church how to anoint myself,
how to love in purity

and so now I love Her reverently, She becomes a pendant upon my forehead
I need no pinned scroll to declare my love, neighbors simply look into my eyes and read my true affections
for She is always on my mind

and though I have no personal angel to purify my mouth with burning coal,
my lips still burn for Her, yearn for Her
solely speaking in sweet Benedictions for Her

and like the stiff-necked Hebrews, my soul and spirit are split open in Her Presence
my very marrow fills with devotion and I fold
wholly Hers

and so I love and exalt Her the only way I know how
with consecrated mind, lips, and heart
anonymous Feb 2019
your hand trembles

as you try to write

they need to know

your lips quiver

as you open up

the part hidden

so meticulously

from the world
anonymous Feb 2019
pain is carved into your face;

etched in the circles beneath your eyes;

drawn in the dampness of your cheeks;

inscribed into the depth of your eyes;

cut into the scars of your skin;

I want nothing more,

than to mold you

to take the clay of your skin,

and erase the marks of hurt
anonymous Sep 2020
An old soul means nothing to a young heart
and yet you mean everything to me.
Someday I'd like to grow lavender for you
and watch as you gasp and pour out gratitude
watch as the sky turns dark
and Dickinson smiles
anonymous Dec 2020
Lay me down in soft moss
Let me rest beneath the trees
as they sway softly in the wind
Let the moss grow up around me
As who I once was fades
and who I need to be today
grows
anonymous Feb 2019
floating
on a glass green sea
serenity in spite all

and yet,
serenity is not destined to stay

drowning
as glass turns to shards,
crying out for salvation
dying out
for no one responds

sinking,
with the realization
the sea was never truly serene
anonymous May 2020
"Could you name a shortcoming of yours?"
       and I stutter- I stop
after nights of practice
mindless rehearsing
this should not be the question
that turns me to a boulder
hurls me off the cliff
so I shatter
while bystanders thank their lucky stars they weren't hit
I've named thousands thanks to you
but now
the pain has muted me
"I am shy"
it's a lie
this is about an interview lol
anonymous Nov 2023
she is gorgeous and lovely and so ridiculously good

she's a banjo playing on a front porch
she's cinnamon and sweetness and all things kind
old books and antique stores, pretty rocks
she's piles of bright fallen leaves on a cold autumn day
thrifted sweaters, men's jeans, and denim overalls
she's niche spotify playlists filled with hozier's love songs;
brushing hands with your crush and blushing hard
she's old letters and coffee stains and gifted knick-knacks
the pleasant chatter and laughter of a long drive

she's all things worth romanticizing
queer joy <3
anonymous Apr 2022
I was born with a flame in my heart
A fire behind my eyes; spit-fire through and through
I was destined to burn, to smolder, to turn to ash

This candlesque heart, I have guarded
with an airtight fortress, a heavy stone

Over the years, the days, and by the second
my fire dwindled to a flicker and was put out altogether
In spite of my wariness, my caution, my care
For I had ****** the oxygen out of my heart

The very Breath of God I had shut out

Today, I invite Him in
Today, my walls come down
Today, my heart burns brightly
and so it may be Forever and Ever, Amen
anonymous May 2020
I feel myself circling the truth
narrowing in on the target
spitting and spewing excuses
like darts ruining a blameless wall
until
bullseye!
I've never been good enough
tears fall
anonymous Jun 18
it was like a hundred ninety-nine degrees
lightheaded and pink cheeked in the Kentuckiana heat
both of us dazed out in a Lisa Frank fantasy
blistered from our faux-leather high heels and flustered from the way she'd glance at me

well somebody wish me luck or send thoughts and prayers my way
cause this girl's got a way about her
shamelessly sharing dreams of running away (together)
escaping the life of midwestern royal freaks
and settling into normalcy

somewhere in the upper peninsula,
two modern, headstrong girls secretly sharing an apartment
maybe even a kitten
maybe even love
anonymous May 2020
I am a seamstress
stitching life together in harmony
creating beauty every place my needle breaches
You are the weaver
you dart in and out of lives
loosely dragging us along
to the knotted finish line
weaver and seamstress met
and you are persuasive
performing the drama
and I believed
seamstress and weaver could create
a masterpiece so fine
to last for all our days
and yet
you have taken your dagger through our greatest tapestry
destroyed what I had birthed
you laugh because you do not know
the seamstress's needle knows no bounds
and your eyes
always too far apart
please give me validation I'm sad... jkjk... unless?
anonymous Feb 2019
unattached;
the deadliest affliction
not connected
to anything,
anyone
not owning a reason,
to stay
to see a glimmer of hope
in your friend's smile
your father's words
your mother's hug
nothing
it wouldn't be worth it
anonymous Jan 12
You've made me love the rain and jumping into puddles. Taking me outside to dance in the downpour. With your drenched curls dripping wet, strands sticking to your forehead.

You've made me love the moon. Her waxing and waning, full or sliver. Eyes like saucers as you gaze up at her, and point out each and every crater. Little walks at night just to see her better.

You've made me love road trips, driving for hours in the middle of nowhere. Listening to Hozier sing his love songs. Excitedly, pointing out every cow we see, and deciding we need to be farmers together.

You've made me love you, with your heart of gold and your smile that lights up every room. I love each moment spent by your side.

I'd drive forever to see you, give all my umbrellas and raincoats away, I'd even lasso the moon

simply because I love you.
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