In this world I'm an unknown,
Though my presence isn't fully ignored.
I'm present in this ebb and flow of life,
Interesting that it only took one step.
Simple yes,
But it's difficulty lies in the fear of it.
It's all one big step,
Scary, frightening and a little bit exciting.
It all begins with that step,
You just choose whether or not to go through with it.

I wait for the sun,
And its new found glories.
The day begins anew,
With so many stories.
But alas from this what do we take?
A selfishness,
A greed.
Something we don't celebrate,
A new day has begun.
With it the warmth of the sun,
So for us this day.
Let us commemorate a day of life,
Our life.
And let us not for granted take.

What wasted energy of today,
Spent hating on tomorrow.
Life's shortness is exasperating,
You'll never live without sorrow.
This maddening madness,
Of screeching ruckus filled despair.
I've lost my edge,
Yet kept my cool.
The thickness of this hot air,
What blinding rage can produce beauty?
What forked nonsense can make rational appeal?
I'm done with this irrational moment,
A needed silence to congeal.

Is the system just?
Is it fair to the end?
Or do those with more innocent looks win?
Unjust rampages spur on till justice presides,
Long winded breaks.
So the guilty may hide,
The fight back and forth.
Won with bills and laws,
It's still so unclear to see those hidden claws.
But in the end a winner appears,
Leaving one to ask.
"Was a winner ever truly here"?

And I will go in the way of the river,
Till I find my place of rest.
To the place that was made for me,
That which for me is the best.
I know not where the river will carry me,
Which twists and turns will surprise.
I only know of this moving water,
To the place I have yet to arrive.

What if you started something you couldn't stop,
Knowing your competition would overrule you.
Saying everything they wanted to hear,
Making it clear.
They are here to change the world too,
Why can't we see it?
Would no one truly believe it?
That the world is run by some fools,
And we're part of too.
Now ask yourself this point of view,
No matter how skewed.
Could you still perceive it?
Darkness and emotions cloud your state,
Feeling irate.
At what you still think it owes you,
This kind of thinking.
Turns smart men/women into cretins,
And we lose sight of what we need to be seeing.
Again and again,
This type of thinking.
That there's no other reason,
To question those whom keep on saying.
They'll change the world.

What is it we seek?
As we go round,
Pondering at the thoughts of tomorrow.
Growing to bring me down,
The thought of escape isn't far behind.
We try to swim afloat,
Everyday.
All the time,
It gets tiring to think of moments yet to pass.
As though the futures tomorrow won't last,
I sigh and gasp.
At a rest that won't come tomorrow.

Where does it start now?
Where does it begin?
The writing has been on the wall awhile now,
Just like my sin.
But my procrastination,
Has left me caved in.
My life is certainly a mess now,
Like a ***** diaper bin.
I don't know how long I can last,
Being this tired and unable to get past.
All the things life requires of me to grow,
Even though my fears and uncertainties show.
Let the light shine in.

Where have you gone?
No longer around to stay.
You are where you are,
Popping in on your own way.
My how the days come and go,
Without saying hello.
Releasing fate into its place of this play.
Your face doesn't disappear,
It just fades away.

You barely scratch the surface,
You're just two tones too far.
What did you think?
That you could reach my star?
That would only work if you knew where I was,
But your stories made.
And I just a leaf on the breeze,
How quaint that this is where life leads.
Bringing others close,
While dispelling others so far beyond.
I now lost to myself alone,
And you where you belong.

You are no more causistic,
Than you are toxic.
The memories of you smeared on my wall,
Breaching more than wanted.
But here again we arrive at the fall,
Tumbling in this dark motioned state.
Oblivious to obliviate,
This mind sacked wrench.
Tossed back and forth,
Coming back to again question.
Why?
Why?
Why?
I ignore one voice for another,
In order to reach an assumed bright side.
But this the tumbling over,
Has left me on my side.
I no longer want this thought process,
It reaches nor teaches on a better plain.
The choice again to start over,
Has come again to drive me insane.

Like a colorful wave of a wide palette rainbow,
The colors gleam and shine into my eyes.
Though only blue protrudes,
A rainbow still shines forth.
And allow the words themselves such sights,
As the true range of colors remain hidden.
That even the best of the best,
Take years to see them.
I once again get to live to see those colorful lights.

So with a view,
I see a change.  
Wrapped up in ones own self pity,
Can the mind be changed?
So fair so pretty,
The eyes what do they show?
The lost mind of a lost soul,
How long can one wander through life and not be phased?
Their burdens hidden inside their gaze,
What once was is different and no longer the same.
Can any good be remembered before its too late?

In the end the only thing that remains are my words,
With or without my inclusion they remain.
Like unmanned scenery in a déjà vu setting,
Born out of whatever emotion begetting.
They are the forefront to my shadowed eyes,
The sword that pierces the veil on my hidden thoughts.
Words only words,
Remain.

You say yes,
I say no.
Neither one knows what they want.
We struggle,
And we dance.
Around each other's word of thought.
Let the minds react,
And our intelligence pour.
We both want each other,
But end up wanting something more.
So what will you do?
When the world comes crashing on you.
Will you disappear into the night?
Or the face the worlds undying fight.
Be strong and steady,
As the day renews.
Or fall broken and despaired,
Washed out fully used.

You are you,
But not the whole of you.
Sums and pieces,
Bit by bit collected over time.
You are the result of your moments spent,
The collective of good and bad swirling in the mix.
A voice that can be heard,
Yet drowned out altogether.
You are you,
But not the whole of you.
For until death takes you,
Closing your eyes for the last time.
You are still collecting,
You are still learning.
And by the grace of God, hopefully,
Still living.
So find peace and give it away,
Live in hope to give it to others as well.
Chaos reigns as long as you dispense fear and live in it,
So keep living and become whole.

Everytime I see that look,
You crawl around in my skin.
Every shiver,
Every prickled hair raised.
The thought of you is tumultuous,
Every memory saved, scrapes by.
I can't burn you out cleanly,
Your markings left over on my wall.
I get angry at you,
Wanting to burn every part of me till you're gone.
But hate never rests here in me,
I beg to know your hugs and touch all over again.
It's a fascinating,
Yet disheartening truth of me.
Of what I felt and still feel all this time,
I've let you burn in through me.
Every.....single....time.

You don't have to try so hard,
You already have me here.
Though I'm not always able to be in the moment,
My place is perfectly clear.
So don't keep trying so hard,
Because I know where you are.
And the pushing will only make things disappear,
So know that I hear you.
And I see what you leave behind,
And when things are open.
You will hear from me,
When I have the time.

You have been given this moment in time,
To learn, to grow, to see, and to define.
Let not one moment fall to waste,
When the doors of gracefulness appear.
Life can be forgotten on the way,
And slowly and silently disappear.
But I bring hope along,
In order to make things clear.
So reach and learn,
Grow and admire.
For so little time is left,
And so much to do that's dire.

So why do you say it with such a disdained voice?
Is it not beggars choice that reveals thee?
Do you aim to hurt in return?
Not knowing another way to be kind,
Why do one thing and say another?
Are your promises nothing more than dust in the wind?
Your claim to some enlightened state,
While the reality of you exists oppositely.
You cannot fathom the consequences of the projection you put on and take off,
Alls well that may end well,
But with your choices will you?

So here we are at the beginning of the stage,
The instruments tuning to their right key.
The blare of the tuba combined with the horns,
Yet all in all I'm here to see you.
From afar I'm sure you're nervous,
The beginning jitters set in.  
Yet when it begins the silence falls,
And in that moment you'll shine.
The music will embrace the audience,
And your stage amongst others will be set.
So far yet so close,
Maybe, just maybe this is what love is.
Or maybe I'm wrong and I don't know anything,
But all in all without a doubt I certainly feel something.

What am I to think of now?
As the due point arrives,
Will this bring the bridge to understanding?
Or keep shadows covering the eyes.
I've bared no longer in keeping the central point of you,
You've already gone fully away.
Once my question's asked,
And the lines cleared for another day.
What you choose and what you do,
No longer matter in this parted play.
I've bared the feelings,
Replayed the memories.
Wrote down in many ways your name,
But even fools like me can get the gist of things.
Just takes us longer everyday,
You've burned in and out of me.
Tears of joy and truths told,
Breaking down these barriers of pain so old.
Yet I should've remembered,
The things you've said in your name.
Like water flowing from me,
The words of you proclaimed.
Now in the end I just want them,
To leave me sane.
You're gone,
Never to be the same.
I never want to write again,
The words in your name.