Just one moment,
I plead for you.
To kiss me,
Hold me,
And care for me too?
Please tell me tales,
Of wonder and play.
Love me through words,
I need you to say.

'I love you, child',
'It'll be okay'.

But all is a dream,
You get quite annoyed.
For the child
Facing you,

Is the one you avoid.

I sit
To contemplate.
A deep thinker,
If I do say.

A bare speaker,
High dreamer,
A true believer.

A small side of me speaks softly,
In undertones
Of black and blue.

Pointing the gun
And tying the noose.

Thoughts,
As I know,
Let loose.

Leaves me stifled,
And bruised.
Tired,
And confused.

Dazy and hazy,
My heart is racing.

Words of truth
I cannot unfold.

For a word shed
Is a word told.

And I,
Kept quiet,
Would feel too bold.

For my soul is now sold.

I am cold ,
Like ice.
My soul sunk
Like the sun at night.
And though I tried
To leave you behind,
The thoughts of you
Did not subside.
They wandered
About,
Inside my mind,
Climbed great heights
Like clouds of sky.
But clouds,
They rain,
As did my eyes.
For now,
My heart,
Has left to die.

A weight
Crashes on my chest.
Your tears
Burn through my skin.

No escape,
No rest.
As you slumber
Soundly in my bed.

A feeling of emptiness
Swarms my mind.
Your thoughts
Knock heavily into mine.

They sit and wait
Until I break the line.
And fix the knot
That just won't tie.

Dear lord,
Please help me know.
That these feelings I feel
Will come to go.
Guide me through paths
That frost in snow.
Cover me in sun
To dim the unknown.
And lord,
Please know,
Before I go,

I feel ill at mind,
But hope in my soul.

My heart,
Does not beat with yours.
Our rhythms
Irregular,
And I don't know the cause.
Time has flown,
Yet we haven't grown.
We're open stitches
That can't be sewn.
And now,
We continue our paths alone.

To rain it falls,
Gently pouring on my head.

My arms ,
Drenched in blood.

Voices ,
Come and flee.

Cold and rigid,
Like my body.

For waters,
They weep.

As do others ,
For me.

My angel.
A mind so kind,
So curious.
You have rekindled my joy,
My purpose.

But now,
I can't help but feel alone.
As you walk down an aisle,
Smothered in rose.

And I,
Hold a lump in my throat.

You have finally grown.

My body is weak,
Engrossed in these sheets.
This land of comfort
Is all that I seek.
For one moment
Im asleep,
The next i'm awake.
My eyes they close,
I'm drifting away.
In slumber,
I ponder,
Wishing day for night.
For moving is sombre,

My mind sleeps tight.

I lost my mind ,
Or so it seems.
Doused in fear
Of uncertainty.
The mind is small
Yet we think so big.
And here I lay
In the grave I dig.
As one small nudge
And I’m ready to blow.
Losing myself ,

Now out of control.

In my world,
There is black and white.
Lots of fights,
Continuous cries.

But that's okay.

I get my paints,
And color the greys.
Turn white to yellow,

And finally create.

A note to nature ,
Blooming in scenes.
Comfort in quiet,
Enriched in peace.
Leaving me silent
And blind from greed.
Clueless to violence ,

Finally at ease.

Here I stand.
And though I land
With a thump and thud,
Little whispers
Fill me with love.

And these little voices,
Replicate mine.
As love of others
Was difficult to find.

Yet I do not mind,
No not at all.
For love of oneself,

Is better
Then none at all.

What a melancholy night.
Thoughts so loud
They shock me with fright.
Whispers of aid,
Created by me.
Comfort alone,
By naked trees.
More touch I receive
From fields of green.
Wiping tears gently onto my sleeve.

For all I desire,
Is true company.

My lungs,
Created as two.
Yet both drown
In the sorrow of truth.
My mind,
So busy.
My head,
So dizzy.
But i’m alive.
Though barely breathing.

From child to adult,
We learn to flee.
Away from home,
And to the sea.
From the wings of our guardians,
We fly among the rest.
To our own creation,
Away from our nest.
Flying is hard,
Terror pollutes the air.
Leaving me burdened,
Alone,

And ever so scared.

Your heart,
Beats with mine.
We intertwine,
Creating a tie.

One becomes two.
Bound to the heart,

Chosen for you.

If I could have
Just one last dance.
To laugh in awe
Of your youthful prance.
Around we go
Like a merry-go-round,
Our joyous breaths
Blocking the sound.
And we live,
And give.
Every moment of us
We never hid.
For each other,
We built a home.

But alas,
We're older.

And now alone.

The quietness caresses my ears,
As each moment goes on.
The peace without my others,
Makes me feel strong.

The subtle vibration movements,
The tranquillity of the room,
Begins to bring out my feelings,
And all ends too soon.

I begin to hide myself with strong emotion,
I gave up the cure and brought out the sick.
The tranquillity flares into red fire,
As my inner self begins to play the trick.

I needed my others after all this time,
As my feelings corrupted into regression.
Every flicker of pain matched with the quietness,
As I didn't even think of confession.

The quietness burns my ears,
As each moment drags on.
The peace without my others,
Now seems so painfully wrong.

At the edge,
I sink to my knees.
Nothing to feel,
Nothing to see.

The touch of grass,
Tickling my feet.
Yet no laugh I bear
In my defeat.

But a beautiful creature
Passes by.
I catch a glimpse
With my teary eyes.
She's burnt with orange
And the darkest of blacks.
So small in size
With wings on her back.

She lands so softly
On my button-red nose.
Fluttering so gently,
Unbothered by the cold.

I hold her gaze
Until she's ready to go.
And flutter away,
She goes back home.

I should follow her footsteps,
It's getting quite late.
For her presence,
Though small,
Has encouraged me to stay.

I am a floating flower,
Among the tallest tree.
My petals,
They fall once plucked from me.
My pollen
Decreases once ****** by bees.
My roots
Decay once ripped from leaves.
I am fragile,
Born from the smallest of seed.
Grown and sewn,
To the purest beauty.

But wanderer and ponderer,
Please let me be.

I feel,
Tense.
Nothing is wrong,
But nothing makes sense.
Things are,
Intense.
Overwhelmed
By fear
Locked in my head.
Silly little scares,
Born and bred.
To fears of unknown,
I can't comprehend.

Oh, father.
That little girl,
You met in September.

You left.

Remember?

Without a trace,
Nor a track.
Left mother nothing but a heart attack.

But, father,
Dare I ask?

Is there a chance
You will ever come back?

My company ,
Is home.
Though others fill
My battery ,
True company,
Is alone.
Taking pleasure
In silence ,

Cosy in my dome.

My mind is aloof.
Not a thought too kind,
Too ignorant for truth.
Though I cannot blame it,
Life is too cruel.
It is afraid
Of it's ailment,
It runs with no fuel.
But here she is,
My little sweet heart.
Pumping love to me,
From the very start.
Turning thoughts of pain
To ones now mild.
For my heart
Is a mother,

And my mind it's child.

My truest darling,
I plucked a flower for you.
Vibrant,
And fragile,
Just like us two.

You were soft,
And supple,
Like these pretty petals.
I hold it closely,
Away from nettles.

I will water it daily,
On your behalf.
No matter if this breath,
Shall be my last.

And although you're beneath
The soil and sands,

This flower,
My angel,
Shall never leave my hand.

You look at me with a sharp gaze,
Mouth salivating with the taste of wonder
Of what a human can create
Make and shape
Into the palm of your hand.

You lose your breath
Panting begins to escalate
Glares begin to infatuate
Your senses onto my own fragility.

I speak no words but
Just shape myself
Into the form of which you cannot surrender
Your senses onto my own fragility.

Soon the clock strikes
Your senses spike
and no less than a minute
That your touch is wandering my form.

I speak no words
Just brace myself for
I am simply made of clay.

I know
There is light.
I can see it
Through these cloudy skies.

And I know you say
‘There’s more than meets the eye.’

And you’re right.

But this day is night
And for now I ponder,

A cycle of death
I sit so somber.

Yet I know that all
Will come to flow.

But for now
I feel
So very low.

Though sky of clouds grow,
Not all is lost,
Beneath the snow.
For the sun still shines,
When Winter is cold.
But we adapt and grow,
And learn to know,
Of changing seasons,
To life and its woes.

I walk an empty road,
I'm lost and confused,
And all seems dull and dreary.
I walk an empty road,
Not expecting much left,
Nothing to do,
But to ponder and accept.
I walk an empty road,
And stop.
I see light beneath the winged oaks,
And breath in the beauty that stands before me.
She was so beautiful,
With eyes reaching my weary soul,
She welcomed me with open arms towards me.
Never did I feel this before.
Never did I feel that sweet love,
That I felt with her touch.
Her smile made the darkened road shorter,
As she took my broken hand into hers,
And took me to a place of comfort and joy.
Home.
She was my home.
As time flew by,
We both laughed and cried,
And helped each other through treacherous roads.
Her name is music to my ears,
And her heart beats out gold.
She took me out,
And led me in.
I wish this existed within others,
But I have her,
My angel,
And that's all I need.

I was once so little,
Though mature in the mind.
My heart now brittle
From moments unkind.
And with that
I fell cold,
No warmth for my soul.
My mind
Turned old,
Then my heart fell alone.
With no love,
Nor touch,

From parents of stone.

I am no good.
Not the look of light
And ‘beauty’ that I should.
You say this once ,
Now twice in fights.
Saying my body
Is all but nice.
Fine.
I am so good to despise.
Not the look of woman
That you need in sight.
But that’s alright,
Your mind has fled.
To dream of a woman
Of ‘beauty’ in bed.

To touch the dirt,
The soil,
The sand.
To feel it run gently
Through my hand.
To hear soft creaks
In the dead of night.
To hear birds sing
As they plan a flight.

Our simple surroundings,
Give solitude of mind.
For peace is rare
In this strange little life.

To hear your cries,
Broke me inside.
Wheezing for breath,
As I sit by your side.
My mind,
Hurt me,
But at least we tried.
So weary in fret,
Though we seemed just fine.
But I live in regret,
It should pass in time.
Though I'll never forget,

The you and I.

In goes one,
Head hung low.
Arms in a fold,
Hands deathly cold.

Stares and glares,
Across the room.
Panic emerges
As they hover
and loom.

Small pleas
and prayers
Leave their mouth.
But no sirens heard
When they begin to shout.

A shout becomes a cry,
A cry for a guide.
Somewhere to hide,
Feeling ready to die.

But no guidance
They recieve,
All alone and weak.
Waiting for nothing,
Responses are bleak.

No comfort to share,
Not a word of care.
No genuine meaning,
Just simply speaking.

No heartbeating,
Mind leaving,
As you rot
In your own mistake.
As your soul,
Once young and bold,
Now ice cold,
From another life
Not saved.

Now in goes two,
Bodies hung so small.
Words spoken in tired voices;
'We are the ones that made the call'.

Am I,
Not enough ?
The hurt is bitter,

Your words are tough.

Is she ,
Better than I?
Your little angel,

The apple to your eye.

But me?
I’m a mess.
A child of stress ,

You love me less.

And her ?
She’s your whole life.  
Living in your arms ,

Letting me die.

But alas ,
No need to shout.
Your actions speak louder,

Than words from your mouth.

My beauty,
Through and through.
What I would do,
Just for you.
I would walk the mountains,
To save your life.
Sacrifice mine,
To keep you alive.
I would stop the pain
You feel each day.
Take the bullet,
To keep you safe.
As my love for you,
Darling,
Shall never stray.

Your eyes
Speak a thousand words.
But these words,
Seem wrong.

Your voice,
Once melodic,
Is off-key
To our song.

Have I hurt you,
My dear?
Is this all a lie?
You lay by my side,
Our hands intertwine.

But your kiss,
Is tired.
Your lips subside.
Oh no,
Darling,

Are you still mine?

Why?.
A question so repetitive,
It stifles my mind.

As the more I think,
The less I hide.

The more I speak,
The less I lie.

The more I feel,
The less I disguise.

For the more I live,

The less I am alive.

You are harsh
To yourself.
Why would this be ?
Has life made you doubt
Of the worth that I see ?
We are driven
By others ,
And our brain the driver.
Speeding too fast
From someone no wiser.
Breaking the breaks
When our gas is low.
Others do see ,
Yet nobody shows.

Do you really wish
For them to proceed?
Wrecking your worth
Until you bleed.

But thoughts
Of our own,
Are no others to mould.
Your mind is free
As is your soul.

For the mind it cracks
Under false illusion.

As conclusions of false ,
Are the brains confusions.

To feel everything,
But nothing at all.

To hear everyone,
But no one to call.

To sleep and weep
In the hours of day.

I slip into darkness,
And fall astray.

You wear and compare,
The things I bear.
Sorries of none,
Pretending to care.
Scared to share
What you have of me.
Critical of others
That fail to see.
The parts of me
I tend to hide,
You make them scream
Until they die.
But i'm your truth,
And your my lie.
A friend of fake

Is no friend of mine.

Our love
Runs cold.
Memories of us
Now stale and old.
No word we utter
When coming home.
Just you and I,
In an empty lie,
Turning to stone.

Dear lord,
Lead me away.
Hurt still greets me
In the hours of day.
My loss of love
Was extraordinary pain.
And all that’s left is
Your ghostly remains.

From your gaze,
To your taste.
Wrapped gently in your embrace.
Gifted me goods,
No other could replace.

Though your words,
Left a trace.
The soul I once embodied ,
Now trashed like waste.

As the taste I once savored,
Now soiled from your flavor.

I have blossomed,
I have sewn.
From a girl of youth,
To a woman of grown.
My body
Is different.
To me it's unknown.
Though I feel
Such hatred,
For my newer mould.
But that is okay,
We all must grow.

And learn to love our beauty of old.

I live a life
Of dreams in day.
Loves of light
I often gave.

Connections bloom
Like flowers in May.
The air it looms
Through bright lit rays.

Song birds in tune
As I skip and sway.
My mind now bright ,

And here I’ll stay.

In my heart and soul,
I know she is there.
I feel her breath
In the Winter air.
Birds tweet outside
Near gardens we wet.
Watering flowers
With tears of upset.
'But don't fret',
You said,
Upon our bed.
'My time is short,
I must live instead'.
'Embrace this life,
It's not over yet'.
'For I rather live
Than die in regret'.

As do I,
My darling,
You have lived till your end.
As your words are something
I'll always commend.

Clear the path
Of a mind so weak.
Home is near
Though I cannot see.
'Take me,please',
Pray God for ease.
Mouth shut
Outside,
As I try to speak.
Though only my thoughts
Can hear my pleas.
Now worn in exhaust,

From pain not seen.

My vision,
Is blurry.
I’m locked in a cage.
My tears,
They hurry down my face.
My mind,
In fury,
It has me insane.
For I wish to finally breathe again.