I need to pay more attention in chemistry

instead you're all my eyes wanna see

So I began paying you more attention
And wondering if we had chemistry

But then you moved seats permanently

So I decided you probably wouldn't be into me

I am a polar bear
I sit on my iceberg

I don't like hugs , never did never will
But hugging you , I'd ask time to stand still

I also don't like when two mouths touch
But I'd kiss every inch of you , pretty much

Honey is from the same place as bee stings
I hate to look like an idiot or forget things

But I'd happily be an idiot to your eyes
I am a polar bear under the polluted skies

pianos and cellos were my favorite sound
When you talk ,  my new favorite is found


The iceberg will slowly melt
And I the polar bear with what I felt
Will drown to my death

They used to like me
but now I just get used
once or twice in year
I felt pointless

I guess I was dull
Not young and mechanical
Until you made me feel sharp
I guess you steel little bits of me

But if my life is short I’d rather give you my all
They call me a #2
Makes sense you must be number one

But I notice I am not the only one you make feel sharp
You really go around
I guess I am more dependent on you than you were on me .
And now I know they aren’t the only ones who used me .

My actions are caused by who knows what
but fixed with the simple ,
cellist who plays , my instability away
the violin that makes the lost child feel found ,
the Viola plays through my ears ,
cleansing my brain of stress
the Piano picks away my paranoia
the orchestra is such a sound to apprehend

They said If I took cough syrup that I could die
Slowly I gave the escape from reality a try
But I drank more than the recommended amount

After a while I lost count
The liquid tastes best mixed with sprite
Friends pushed away , and confusion in sight
The devil brought out my innocence one night

I layed crying on the bathroom floor
And the devil out the door
The purple liquid down the drain
And nothing to escape from the pain

Its weird getting new shoes , i either like them immediately or it takes time

our friendship is like converse , it took time
but i loved how easily it could be washed , even after a muddy climb
i mean slowly i realized that with every wash the color faded a bit
i didnt mind the change in color , becuase its a good shoe
then holes and rips developed and maybe my feet grew
I got tired of the stitches and glue
its not that i dont like you
its just its ******* me too

I had an interesting trip
To realize friendship is endship

There is a weight that pours smiles on my face at night
Yet leaves me soaked in shame with the sunrise
One begins to show leaves in April
But truly blooms in may
Everyone sees birds chirping
And kids at play
Yet to me the light that causes them to smile
Makes me feel tired and sick
The kids at play make me feel nostalgic
Then another that will truly show in June
Because then begins white lies
With becoming and adult in-between
And 2 months of goodbyes

I think about your smile , it made you so alive
My first memory being around age five
She smiled when we watched tv
She smiled when fixing toys broken
I mean she smiled whenever she saw me
Her smile just asked for presence as a golden token
She smiled not only with her eyes to see
Her eyes didn't see faces well
I always pondered how she knew it was me
Was it my walk ,my voice , maybe my scent  or smell
Her hands they smiled too
Though one suffered from nature's permanent glue
Her 97 year old grip being stronger than your household duck tape
And a smile as that gave unconditional love as a cape
We both smiled as " it's all just the saints' blessing" and said goodbye

So one day smiling in a casket her body lie
When thinking of this I try to smile instead of cry
I cover her special hand with a knit black glove
I like to believe she stills smiles from above

I am from
Dark furniture within large rooms
Smells of curry,
covered with febreze and perfume

I am from
Ride a bike with one hand
But hold your plate for dinner with two

I am from
Red …white
And then blue
Meaning July 1st then July 4th

I am from no beef no pork
And no I don’t find cows holy

I am from hanging with cousin
Playing with nerf guns
Midnight movies
And dairy queen runs

I am from absent mother
And parents divorced

1           Bright blue ocean eyes, hair brown like tree branches
2           Walking and talking , smiling ,no playing childish games
3           Love me please don’t leave me
4           Fall love please spring through my heart

5           Walking playing childish games, no smiling  and talking
6           Bright ocean like hair, blue eyes, brown tree branches
7           Spring love please fall through my heart
8           Leave me please don’t love me

we used to wear our socks and slide across the floor
your home was my home , because my real home wasn't a home
you'd play the radio and force me to listen to "all the hits" as I tried to sleep
you guys would persuade me to try the tree swing
I took the socks off and felt the grass on my feet
you guys had me building forts, and saying the word duuuude
a year passed by and your mom told me to wear dresses
girls cant make forts in dresses
I cant run through the trees in dresses
you offered your shorts and shirt , and your mom rolled her eyes

even today I still miss you guys

I don't pick flowers really
But I appreciate the beauty

From the day I was born I told a lot of flowers they are beautiful
And yes they were beauty ,full
So then when I liked a flower
I said I like this flower
But then I liked many flowers
So to signify that I liked a flower more
I said I love this flower
Slowly I loved alot of flowers
But then a week later I picked a flower
And said that I love this flower too
But more than the others

And the other flowers said "***** you"

And this is why I told myself not to go picking flowers

my phone for hours was dead
social anxiety had me in bed
my parents told me to answer the main door
your eyes filling with tears more and more
I gave you comfy clothes to wear
cuddles to show i care
I put your keys out of sight
so you wouldnt runaway at night
I put my newest shoes on your bare feet

So I ask "why did you throw the converse on the street?"

What is the time
What is on your mind friend
Do you question when it all ends
Or simply why it began
Are scary things for our entertainment
Are they just distractions from the real scare.
The world is really really big ,and can only truly be seen by the blind cat

Yet the dog asks why he too can't go to outer space

Dogs need oxygen to breath btw
So do humans ...but nobody cares about either anymore
Okay goodnight moon

Love was
Answers written on flower petals
That were childishly picked



Love  is
Waiting for the water boil with patience
Watching the pasta absorb the patience
Savoring every bit of the creation


Love  will be….
Sometimes…

Gentle     icing      on    a cake
By     the    precise        baker

Fast piano being played
with crazy fingers tapping on every key

Nails ..being.. forced ..into ..wood ..
Out.. of ..anger.. or.. happiness..

I'd teach them to choose friends like cereal

That it's fun to be goofy sometimes and make bubble bath beards
But don't let yourself drown in life's water
But if they do drown, I will be there

Id teach them to choose their words like a game of operation
I'd teach them their actions are a permanent markers
...and yes there is whiteout...  But it's not the same

When life knocks them down,
I'll tell them pain is just gain…there is also gain that takes away pain

I'd teach them to have their head in the rainbows,
Yet feet in the itchy grass

That you come in this world with yourself,
You leave with yourself
So love yourself

Run without shoes and socks,
And feel the warm pavement under your feet
But also focus in class sit in your assigned seat

To always love, and never hate anyone no matter what they do or say
Because you aren't like them, and they aren't like you
Always ask question where, what, why, how do you do

Though be humble, never low, and never high
Be happy, little child, because one day you will touch the sky