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Angela Rose Nov 2017
Every word is for you
Every line is for you
Every lyric is for you
Every prose is for you
Every breath is for you
It’s you
It’s you
It’s you
It’s always been for you
You have always been the one
Angela Rose Nov 2017
Sometimes I wonder if I was drunk and in a room full of all the men I have loved
Who would I run to?

Would it be the first love?
The one who held my hand like it carried the world inside of it?
The one who kissed me closely in a stairwell?
The one who had the heart I broke into pieces?

Would it be the one that got away?
The one who made me feel wild and free and secure?
The one who always put me on the back burner but I wouldn't give up?
The one who broke my heart into pieces?

Would it be the one that was my almost lover?
The one who wanted all of me but not at the cost of a real relationship?
The one who drove me insane and made me feel like I was the problem?
The one who was my best friend in the whole ******* world?

Would it be the first real adult relationship?
The one who had a real job and real goals?
The one who took me on priceless excursions and showered me with gifts?
The one who told me I was too much of a stupid liberal city girl to be with him?

Or, would it be the one I thought was the love of my life?
The one who I spent most of my late youth with?
The one who had the family I loved and the laugh that brought me to my knees?
The one who told me I was too stagnate and was not willing to watch me grow into something spectacular?

So sometimes I wonder who I would run to
Who would I want to let in to break me again?
I do not know which hand I would run to hold, but I know any of those hands would be a mistake
Angela Rose Nov 2017
I thought about texting you last night to tell you I cheated on you
To tell you I was sorry and it was so wrong of me
To tell you how I cried every night for 4 months because he didn’t even love me back
To tell you I was a heartbreaker and I caused myself just as much distress
To tell you he was not you and it always made me feel sick
To tell you I was just sixteen what did I know about love then?

I thought about texting you last night to tell you I cheated on you
Just so I could feel some kind of emotion from you at all
Just so I could see if you even thought about me still
Just so I could try to validate what I am feeling now
Just so I could clench my fists onto the thought that maybe we could work it out
Just so I could try to feel anything again in these cold and lonely apartment walls
Angela Rose Oct 2017
I took our pictures off of the wall today
It felt like peeling off a scab and watching it bleed
It hurt and it hurt like hell

I erased your voicemails from the machine today
It felt like a sin to **** a sound so beautiful
It hurt but I know that it will do me well

I found your old sweater in the spare room’s closet today
It felt like the softest thing I have ever touched in my life
It hurt but I called you anyway

I heard your new voicemail, as I called tonight
It felt like nails on a chalkboard to hear a new woman's dialect on the machine
It hurt but I wore that old sweater all ******* week
Angela Rose Oct 2017
It’s 3 AM and I haven’t laughed this hard in a year
It’s 3:30 AM and my heart hasn’t felt this full in too long
It’s 4 AM and my eyes are so tired but my soul is full of your energy

It’s tomorrow and we haven’t spoken, I spoke too soon.
Angela Rose Oct 2017
I am a hurricane
I am a force to be reckoned with
My love can cause tumultuous damage to cities
Tear down walls and rip the streets to shreds

I am a tornado
I am a force of nature to fear
My love can rip through towns in seconds
Tear up the ground from above and move a path of destruction

I am a tsunami
I am a force of change to not mess around with
My love can move oceans and nothing can stop it
Tear through the sandy shores and cause pain to whole villages

I am a natural disaster
I am a force to be reckoned with
Angela Rose Oct 2017
I am not religious
I don't attend a mass every Sunday
I am not someone who gets down on my knees for my lord regularly
I am not the woman who has begged for salvation for my sins
But oh God do I pray for you
I have been praying for you for so long
The amount of worry I feel for you keeps my eyes open at night
It makes me physically sick how much I worry about you
If my words and my trying cannot make a difference than maybe my prayers can
I can't bare to watch you hurt yourself, I can't bare to watch you self destruct
I love you
So I pray
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