These eyes
An aspiration to see my way through life, objectively
These lips
A hope for clear and concise communication,
These hands
A desire to create, work and play,
These hips
A reminder of the feminine soul that encompasses,
These legs
A means of keeping me as a mover and shaker,
These Feet
A balance that helps me to remain grounded, even when foundations shift.

Seconds and Minutes,
it's all such a blur,
That is until I am able to return,
back to where I live, in my mind,
leaving me with nothing but pieces to put together.
A small recollection of the others taking over,
because I cannot deal with life on my own.  

That is until, I met this man;
He tries, he really does, to help me.
Where were you before this world was so cruel to me?
Are you here to set me free?
I declare that I am far too broken, and I don't want to drag him down with  the horror, the evil, the tales that haunt me.
There is so much pain, and tragedy,
Surely he is able to see that in the story lines of my face.

Yet his soul is not feeble, but strong enough for the both of us,
as I see in each encounter.

Strong enough to help me escape.

©A. Harris 2015

Lying here in this quaint room, with thoughts to roam as they please.
My body stuck with the need to move,
not wanting to stay grounded in the comfort of these sheets.
All winter I was content, in just letting things just be, but today, today, it's like a switch turned on in this body of mine, that is not used to this rush of life, for it is daylight savings time.
An awakening of the soul, from its dormant state.

On the news,
in the papers,
lack of goodwill,
no real charity,
real world problems smudged
with distraction.
Will it ever change?

It’s only thing that brings me back to my truest self,
the self that only the wild air , trees and inhabitants know
Its spirit meshes with mine and I am whole.

Is the first sip of coffee in the morning
The silence that comes after mourning
Children’s laughter
Beautiful sunsets
Coming to terms with things
Goals accomplished
Affection with no return expected
Living with integrity
Helping humanity
Agreeing to disagree
Breezes on a hot day
Grace is all around us…many blind to it..

D
No, I do not  know the next time I’ll be out,
Especially, not with you
Things never said, so much doubt
Don’t ask me.
Such superficial encounters are no longer of interest
Lay it to rest
I am not your “go to” when things  go west
Z
No,I do not miss you
You took for granted how I placed you on a pedestal back in the day
Just to see your insecurities bleed through, you pushed me away
And now you want to pull me in to Your loneliness
Don’t ask me
K
No, I am not free,
Just because you drove from Chicago to entertain yourself here
I’m sure there are plenty of other girls for you to endear
Don’t ask me

6/2/2016

*2:00 A.M and I awaken by a phone call, knowing my father’s end was near,
No more suffering, no more fear.
Cancer had broken him down, into someone unrecognizable.
My dad had taken his last breathe, passing through this life.
It never really occurred to my mom that he would leave this way.
Always a lonely soul in this world, mind cluttered, and distracted with worry, in  every passing day.
Her sorrow could be heard in the message they left for me, creating disarray.
I came to realize everything would change for us.
So much left undone.
Many things left to finish and piece together.
A man of mystery that has left us to
wonder about whom this man was.
I pray that he finds peace and comfort, which he could not seem to find here.
May his next life be filled with grace,
Remains endeared.

These tears I cry aren’t meant for you
They are for the girl I long to return to
The girl with dreams that carried her away
To ideas of travel and love and to change the world,
but something led me astray
My heart demands that I return to that little girl ,who I held so close.
My heart screams and tugs, unable to ignore, who I was once before.
I’m taking my power back, the power of a girl.
I take her hand and make sure to never leave her behind.

A comfort settles deep inside, with the sound of thunder.

How sweet it is,
The idea of uncertainty,
The mere thoughts that lead me back and forth,
to the future, from the past,

One thing is certain, it is the brush of warmth,
on my face, on  my lips from the spring wind
that carries me even further into thought,

As I sit still, the calm comes to rise and my love for life seeps through.
Grateful to even have this moment, all of these moments.

AHarris2015

The chase leads me past the people, shadows and noise
Glancing Up at the sky;
Anywhere, trying to find
Something, anything to fill me up
(It should not be so hard)
Waiting for nothing and everything
It’s the standstill that eats at me, so I go on seeking what is supposed to be seeking me
Longing for what I don’t know
Feeling a stranger to myself
Wandering aimlessly
but until then,
I’ll keep looking

Two steps into the green and
I kneel over to pull from the earth,
closing my eyes to make a wish
from the dandelions I have made
thousands of wishes from before.
It’s my way of sharing my secrets to the universe, whispering to the divine.

Dragging around an unmotivated version of myself...

It isn’t fair, this time not promised,
this limited time we’re given;
but rest assured I’m using it to really be living.
Such beautiful things brought before me,
only to be taken away
I guess never belonged to me anyway.
Soak it all in,
breath by breath;
embedding the moments I don’t want to forget.
How is it that time won’t slow and be kind,
But it sure likes to remind me of days gone by?