Fck you for hurting me when you promised you never would.

Fck you for being so inconsiderate.

Fck you for not trying to fix us, instead, leaving.

Fck you for not being my friend after, like you said you would be.

Fck you for moving an hour away.

Fck you for making all my favorite songs, TV shows, and movies make me think of you.

Fck you for being my dream.

Fck you for my whole family knowing and talking about you like it doesn't hurt.

Fck you for being okay without me.

Fck you for making me fall in love with you.

You tell me you'll love me forever,
More than anything,
forever.
maybe "forever" meant something else to you,
like "until next month".
unfortunately when I promised forever,
I meant the "forever" kind of forever.

You are my mind anymore;
In each fold and crack,
lies you and our memories

I miss your skin and the warmth it held,
And its power to warm me in the coldest mornings.
I miss your doe eyes full of care,
Gorgeously painted by an angel.
I miss your old apartment we'd hang out at,
which us more comforting than my own home.
But at the same time, I dont.
I don't miss worrying when my texts were left unread,
and I don't miss worrying when you hung out with that one girl,
Then again I'll still think of you daily
(and I may never stop..)

for over a year I was in love with you,
And I thought we were swans,
perfect and forever,
but, really,
someone else was your swan,
now that I've stepped away,
I realize maybe I NEVER was YOUR swan

I've always told my family about you,
how beautiful, how funny, how smart,
but my favorite topic was your heart,
how kind, how loving, how empathetic,
And, always emphasize how large the size of your heart was,
how substainable, how extensive, how significant,
but it took me months to finally see,
how blind, how dumb, how it inattentive,
your heart was too big,
it could fit her, too.

Sometimes I wish you were a bad person,
As if you'd have hit or yelled,
Or tried to make me feel poorly about myself,
Or do anything wrong at the slightest,
But you never did,
Rather, you had showed me what love is,
Writing notes that I still read some nights,
Holding my hands or kissing my lips,
All the small things you done for me,
Make me miss you more everyday.
But I know if you were a bad person,
It wouldn't hurt so bad anymore.

I miss her,
I miss her perfectly loose curls,
I miss her gorgeous brown eyes,
I miss falling asleep to the sound of her voice,
I miss when she could make me smile when nobody else could,
I miss holding her sharpie-tattooed,
I miss kissing her soft lips,
I miss feeling the warmth in her hugs,
I miss the way she would look at me,
I miss when she'd tell me how much she loved me,
I miss when we thought we were made for each other.