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 Dec 2015 ZoeyNot101
Neex
I watched that movie,
And made a silent prayer,
That that'd be me someday.

Getting old,
Making fun of an amazing man's hair,
Joking around,
'Cause having kids couldn't change us.
I have no idea what movie it was. Did I mention, I'm back home after 3 weeks of traveling and I feel so different, like so much has, changed.
 Dec 2015 ZoeyNot101
Neex
Been drowning in this sea of depression,
And losing you only made it deeper.
I don't know how to make it stop,
I need you.
 Dec 2015 ZoeyNot101
Neex
You're my right hand,
You're my go to,
Told me everything about you,
That's a bold move,
I know that you're out there,
And there's things you've gotta go through,
Just know that these streets,
They don't love you like I do.
Getting my words from the music again, this is one song by Drake I actually listen to regularly.
 Dec 2015 ZoeyNot101
Neex
To have your hopes smothered,
Stuck in this ****** isolation,
I see no light.

I might never recover,
Never thought I’d get this far,
Deep in this retched sea,
And I might never learn to swim.

Whatever confidence I had left,
Is fading with myself.

My self-esteem,
It’s non-existent,
My heart and happiness as well.

I’m hurting deeply,
Fading quickly,
Living fatally,
Faking emotions,
Drowning painfully,
Hanging on,
**To nothing.
I don't understand anything anymore.
 Dec 2015 ZoeyNot101
Neex
It's funny,
How quickly the smile fades.
You just kinda get used to it but it's still weird.
 Dec 2015 ZoeyNot101
Neex
When did it become,
So hard to write?

How could the words,
Leave my mind?

Everything is confusing now,
What was once so easy,
Gives me anxiety now,
I feel like,
Everything is in pieces now,
It all happened so fast,
But,
Why* now?

I feel like this is not the end,
Things might get worse,
In the end,
I'll be empty,
When I get to the end,
If there is one;
Is there an end to this?

I need you more than ever now,
But you have,
More important things now,
That you have to think about,
Now.

It ***** how things are,
I knew it wouldn't last,
Not forever.

You're always on my mind,
This pain can't erase you.

I hope you're alright,
I don't mean to worry you,
But you're got me worried out of my mind.

You're not hurting me,
But you're the only person,
That can take the hurt away;
But that's not why I miss you.

I miss you 'cause,
**Your presence completes me.
I'm short of words now.
 Dec 2015 ZoeyNot101
Neex
I hear a lot of people say,
That  'I'm sorry'  can't fix anything,
Well,
At some point I believed,
That those people were just difficult,
But,
You've worn it out for me,
I'm one of those people now,
So,
*I'm sorry.
I'm nice, not gullible.
 Dec 2015 ZoeyNot101
Neex
When I'm home,
I have an apple every night,
It makes me feel good.

When I'm in school,
I don't even have an apple everyday.

I spend more time in school,
Than I do at home,
It's torture,
And home;
Home doesn't leave me feeling so dandy either,
The apples help me.

I guess that partially explains,
Why this sea of depression,
Is only getting deeper,
And I still don't know how to swim,
In a pool.
Been drowning for ages
 Dec 2015 ZoeyNot101
Neex
It's raining,
There goes my plans of sleeping,
Carried by the thunder.

Time to drown myself,
In music.
This ****** sound,
It's torturing me.
 Dec 2015 ZoeyNot101
Neex
I'm a bit confused,
Slightly terrified,
Been having these thoughts,
They're getting hard to hide.

My mind's been roaming,
Exploring itself,
So I have some things I'd like to share.

*I see all these people suffer,

But I have no clue what to say,
So here's to all of you,
What I've written,
'Cause things might not be going your way.

For the lovers,
I envy you,
Your heart,
Shall never see darkness,
Your heart,
Shall be connected with your mind,
Your heart,
That thing that it holds so dear,
Shall never cease to work in your favour,
And at every fatal ending,
Shall your heart recover,
Quickly,
'Cause the world needs you,
To keep on loving.

For the dreamers,
Oh how I love how you are,
So full of ideas,
Your mind,
Shall never lose it's colours,
Your mind,
Shall never lead you astray,
Your mind,
Those things that fly around in it,
Shall never be discouraged,
Never lose hope,
'Cause without you,
The world won't be so innovative.

For the hopeful,
I'm just like you,
Although that hope is false sometimes,
Never stop hoping,
Your hopes,
Shall not cause you pain,
Your hopes,
Shall bring pleasant ends,
Your hopes,
Whatever they may be for,
Shall never bring you regrets,
And remember that you're not exactly naive,
You're just needed,
And so you might experience repeated events,
'Cause without you,
The dreamers might lose hope.

For the depressed,
I'm one of you,
And I have a lot to say to you,
You,
Don't deserve whatever you're going through,
Never think that you do,
You,
Shall find happiness,
Hopefully soon,
You,
Shall become one of the hopeful,
And never lose faith,
You,
Whatever it is that you're going through,
Shall not defeat you,
If you think it has,
I want to meet you,
'Cause you keep me going everyday,
Remind me that I'm not alone.

For the suicidal,
You are worth a lot,
Your pain,
Shall not takeover you,
Your pain,
Shall not control your actions,
Your pain,
However painful it may be,
Is not the only thing you can feel,
Keep holding on,
'Cause you give me a reason to live,
You are amazing no matter what anyone says,
And I can't lose my best friend,
Not in that way.

For the fearful,
I was once like you,
Your fears,
Shall not control your life,
Your fears,
Shall only give you something to fight,
Your fears,
Whatever they are of,
Shall not define your might,
You are stronger than you think,
'Cause without you,
Too many people would be oblivious.

For the happy,
I dream to be like you,
Your happiness,
Shall never seize,
Your heart,
Shall forever sparkle with joy,
You,
Shall never forget others,
'Cause for many,
What you have is a dream,
And who better to help attain something,
Than those who possess it.

For those unmentioned,
You are nothing but important,
Whatever category you fall into,
Is special like any other,
You're in my mind and in my heart,
There's just so many,
I wish I could remember,
So peace and love be with everyone who reads this,
*Forever.
I love every single one of you,
I haven't been part of this community for up to a year but you guys keep me going and I have met so many amazing people, there are no words to express how grateful I am for all of you. You guys always know how to brighten my day and everyone is so incredibly talented.
So I just want to tell you guys that you should keep going, don't let anyone change you, not even rearrange you and things will work out in the end, if things aren't looking good yet, then you're not even close to the end.
Thank you guys so much for everything,
Especially reading this long piece.
xox
-Neex
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