(***** I'm dreaming2),..***** I'm believing,.. I'm chasing hope & faith mane..I'm chasing my dreams, ***** I'm believing, I'm chasing (my goals & aspirations2)..***** I'm believing,***** I'm dreaming (Yeah2)..(***** I'm dreaming2)
Dreaming..***** I'm believing, ***** I'm dreaming.. Dreaming..I'm (having hope & faith2)..***** I'm believing.., (I'm having hope & faith2)..***** I'm dreaming, ***** I'm believing, (I'm having hope & faith2)..Yeah..(***** I'm dreaming2)..***** I'm believing, Im (dreaming2)..I'm chasing hope mane,..(I'm chasing my goals & aspirations2)//***** I'm dreaming, ***** I'm believing, I'm chasing (my goals & aspirations2)..Aye..(I'm dreaming3)..dreaming, ***** I'm believing , I'm chasing (my goals & aspirations3)..(***** I'm dreaming, my ***** I'm believing2)..(I'm chasing hope & faith 2)..mane,

I ain't chasing after fame, I ain't chasing none of these hos either,..(***** I'm dreaming2)..***** I'm believing,..I'm dreaming, I'm chasing (my goals & aspirations3)..*****, I'm believing, ***** I'm dreaming, ***** (I'm believing2)..(Im dreaming3)..dreaming..,aye..I'm chasing, (my goals & aspirations3)..
Goals & Aspirations.. Aye

That's what I'm chasing after like a hungry cheetah, I never been a cheater, ***** Imma believer, a true believer, a King Yeah..Aye, I'm chasing my goals & aspirations, &( I'm speeding2) like,**** the laws I'm going past the speed limit, **** a stop sign, no braking, I'm in drive *****, Its so hard being patient, but I'm tryna be Aye, no time waiting  , no time waisting, none of my days  being wasted..Im so wavey..Aye, Yeah I'm getting so faded, so wasted, Lord please forgive me even , tho I smoke alot of **** on a regular basis, that's (my medication2)..& I need it, it helps me from going (crazy2)..,I ain't never had **** partner, I come from nothing, I ain't had alot of money at a point of time in my life , I was so broke my *****, all I ever had was my goals , dreams, & aspirations, Yeah I was dreaming, & believing, I was chasing after hope & faith.., not after no females mane,Aye..
Nobody can't tell me nothing paparazzi better stay away from my face, aye I ain't on that Kanye West **** I ain't selling my soul for a happy meal *****, In happy all ready, God owns me, So I'm investing in my own worth homie, Yeah..I'm building my on corporation..Aye man..

(***** I'm dreaming2),..***** I'm believing,.. I'm chasing hope & faith mane..I'm chasing my dreams, ***** I'm believing, I'm chasing (my goals & aspirations2)..***** I'm believing,***** I'm dreaming (Yeah2)..(***** I'm dreaming2)
Dreaming..
I ain't chasing after fame, I ain't chasing none of these hos either,..(***** I'm dreaming2)..***** I'm believing,..I'm dreaming, I'm chasing (my goals & aspirations3)..*****
Uhh,Yeah

/This is (only for the Real3)..if you don't know well then now you know *****/3,..
Aye, if you don't know *****, then pull a chair up & listen, Turn this **** up & listen, Blaze one up, (& listen2), pay attention..This is (Only For The Real2)..Aye
I'm teaching ****** lessons like a teacher *****, I didn't have to go to college to teach *****, but that doesn't mean I can't teach you *****, I was blessed wit this gift from God, thank you so much Heavenly Father, thank you so much Jesus Christ, Ayo we all can learn something from each other, we all sisters & brothers word, Uhh..
Let's come together, let's stand up to this curropted government system, rise up & destroy them..Uhh, Aye I usta be all alone man, so lonely stuck in my room writing hits all day, I been a big factor my *****, man I always been the man, Yeah..Uhh, I ain't conceited either my *****, I'm just saying I'm confident,.. (Yeah *****2)..
I just been (chasing my dreams & aspirations2)..I write (masterpieces2) Pablo Picasso type of ****, if you don't know well now you know this is (Only For The Real2)..Aye,..

/Im chasing my goals & aspirations2..(my goals & aspirations2)/2

(Aye, we all on3..)..now..we all on..now
(Aye, we all on3..)..now..we all on..now

/Aye it doesn't matter what anybody gotta say about ya, forget a doubter let them hate man, if you dream it see it in yo mind, & believe it, then you can achieve it/2
**** right..my *****
if you dream it see it in yo mind, & believe it, then you can achieve it..for real dawg..Ayr


You can become anything that you want my ***** for real dawg, gotta push yo self, uplift yo self if nobody else will, chase after hope & faith, chase (your goals *2), chase (your dreams2) & your aspirations, don't ever stop *****, Cuhz, (anything you put your mind too you can achieve it,2) Yeah mane, you can..Uhh

/***** I'm dreaming, I'm chasing hope & faith, I'm chasing my goals & aspirations/3
(Goals & aspirations*3)..aye

It's funny that I can sit here and say
that my life is something, when I was lazy today.
I stayed inside, watched a movie or two
Cried my eyes out, feeling rather blue.
But after it was over, reality came back
and I realized that I... hadn't done jack.
Sure, I had felt, I had feared, I had wished,
I had procrastinated, and stuck up my fist.
In today's world, however, what does it mean
if you're not an athlete or mathlete; you're just unseen
Unseen because you have blocked yourself completely out
from the world, from danger, from the coming drought
of people who  actually cared about others
and not just their next Friday night lovers.
Can I call myself accomplished at  high
when all I've done is weasel my way by?
Using the bare minimum of my brain power.
Waisting little energy staying up for hours.
I've been lazy.
I AM lazy.
But should that validate anything I've done?
Should I waste away a life that's only just begun?
Or should I stop being lazy, here and today,
turn off the device, take a look around at... May?
That's the month, isn't it so?
I can't remember, do you even know?
I have been stuck in a grave mindset
that blocks out every responsibility or threat;
but I think I should awake
and see the world for it's mistakes
yet still embrace it 's wit
and never ever never quit.
I'm lazy, yes, but I can make my life something.
Because after all, we all started as nothing.

Uhh..,I'm just gonna **** around on this one, lights, camera, action *****..yoo,Young Ston, of course it's still gone be dat real ****.. Day trill spit..Yeah That unbelievable **** dawg..my ***** you should already know Dat tho dawg..
Let's go..(Uhh2)..(Yeah2)..

(Lights, Camera, Action3),we filming , we back Yeah, we back man..(Yeah2)..(Lights, Camera, Action3)..Yeah we filming,..yeah we back in business again..Yeah we back man...(Uhh2)..(Yeah2)..(Light Camera Action2)
Yeah ***** we back to filming , no acting..This is a true story yeah a documentary of a young *****, that was broke once, but used his mind to get up outta the struggle...Yeah Young Ston,..Uhh let's get it cracking..(Lights Camera Action2)..Lights Camera Action *****..

Let's get it..Let's go..Let the cameras roll & dont stop filming at all,..Lights ,Camera, Action dawg..Uhh OFTR we ready for whatever, ***** we building an empire, & a palace to relax , smoke & Trap at my *****, let's get back to business, Yeah..(Lights, camera, action..3)..ain't no stopping, no quitting.. **** all of them doubters *****, they even more disappointed & mad now ****..they shoulda stayed on they hustle instead of waisting time being on my **** dawg.. Ayo.., I came outta no where so prepared like the attack on Pearl Harbor, blasting wisdom *****..**** the system *****, its very curropted..
They don't give a **** about us ******, They just want us trapped & blindfolded, but OFTR we breaking free from all of this corruption,..Uhh..
(Lights, Camera, Action3)

Forget listening to these other ****** music they wack to me, they with the gay agenda, They hypnotizing & brainwashing the youth mane..so forget worshipping those faggets, they ******* **** & bending over just to get a check,...Only Jesus gets my praise..Aye man..
OFTR, no we ain't kissing nobody ***, **** the white man, he's Satan, **** a major deal, I don't need that, Naw *****..I'm bossing myself, forget Bossing around my *****, we all bosses man, I'm helping my ****** out that's tryna get wealthy, my ***** ain't nothing selfish about OFTR, all we ever do is help the people, **** being a celebrity *****, OFTR we all leaders my *****, let's get back to the action..Yeah..Yeah..Aye..Uhh
(Lights, Camera, Action..3)..***** get to filming..aye

Only Real ****** get the privilege to **** wit me, I only hang wit (The Family2)..is my security yo my ***** if you don't like me then  stay from round my way..& if you talk bad about my team then you are attempting to get hurt mane, just stay away Cuhz, you dealing wit real gangsters man, no movie, but you can call this The Rise of The ****** Disciple, Imma young ***** that made his own way Yeah..
I be thuggin everyday, I go gangsta on these beats, I be gangsta in these streets, Imma real *****,Imma Poet, Imma legend, Yeah I'm more than a rapper *****, I'm the Streets Preacher, Yeah mane..(OK3)..cool,..Let's do it..Uhh..

(Lights, Camera, Action3)..we filming, Yeah (lights, camera, action3)..***** we back, Yeah ***** we back in business man, Yeah we back to filming again, Yeah we back , *****,Yeah we  back in business man..(Yeah ***** we back3)..in business again..Aye..
lights , camera, action..yeah (Lights, Camera2)..action..Lights , Camera, Action..

/(Lights, Camera2)..action../2

(Yeah ***** we back3)..in business..
Young Ston OFTR
(Yeah *****3)..(Yeah*2)..Uhh

(Yo3)..let's go..Ohh stunning
(I'm stunning4)..Aye, Yeah..(stunning2)..
(I'm stunning5)..stunning..Yeah ..stunning..
..(I'm stunning2) when they said I wouldn't, stunning.. (I'm stunning2)..stunning..(I'm stunning2)..when they thought I couldn't..I'm stunning..Yeah stunning..
(I'm stunning4)..when they thought I wouldn't..(I'm stunning..3)Yeah stunning.. (I'm stunning4)..when they said I couldn't..
/(I'm stunning3)..Yeah stunning/2
(Stunt3)..forget a doubter, get yo money, Yeah dawg,..(stunt2)..on them ***** made busters..(stunt2)..prove em all wrong..Uhh Yeah dawg

OFTR my ***** we camed from the bottom, now we here stunning no Drizzy Drake ****, I write my own lyrics, Yeah man, its so easy homie,Uhh,Yeah  I can write a song up real quick in under 5 minutes my nig, so if you need a verse , hit me up then dawg, I know you see it, Yeah I know they can see me now,..Aye
They doubting while I'm  believing, & cheifing, they so blinded by all of the **** ****, they so confused mane Ayo  forget going the ***** made way towards the fame, Imma boss player Imma real gangsta, Imma Outlaw Yeah Imma true player..so forget ******* up to Satan
Cuhz I only worship Jesus,Yeah mane, all of my prayers goes to the Heavenly Father & that's it Yeah..
(I'm stunning2)...the right way without bowing down to the white man..Aye

Yeah (I'm stunning2)..I'm..(shinning2)
brighter than a new pair of white forces,Yeah.. I'm stunning Im shinning brighter than a diamond (Yeah2)..mane
So what, they gotta say about me now homie ****,they can't say...(nothing2)..Aye, I'm stunning, I'm shinning brighter than the streets lights at night, man yo..
These ***** *** artist should be sponsor by Little Debbie, they some sweet ***** ******, all in they feelings, they ain't even from these streets my *****, they false claiming.. They all bout to get (bang2)..mane for real, Aye..

Noo, they can't see me, I be hurting they eyes, that's how bright..(I shine2)..Aye, I prove them all wrong my *****, I had no job, I usta to be posted up at my home *****, I stayed in my room *****, in my zone *****, I felt so all alone *****, I only had my family but Thank God for them, they taught me not to trust having friends homie, because friendships never last, its alot of snakes out here yeah, so watch out, keep yo eyes peeled man..Yeah..

Forget having a girlfriend to my *****, Noo, I don't got alot of time here to be spending my time waisting it wit a nasty *****..Uhh man just keep sending me more beats & Imma eat em up then **** hits out mane, Young Ston..***** Yeah I'm stunning on them..man I'm demanding my respect, Aye I'm way stronger than Superman, I go so hard , Yeah I'm the man, I go in , no I can't quit, Yeah..(I'm that *****2)..that you don't ever wanna disrespect, Aye stank ******* stay the hell away from my face, aye don't be all in my space in my way, Yeah..*****, Aye..
If you ever had something bad to say about me, you'll gonna be sorry, Yeah I bet you will you regret it, Yeah *****..(I'm stunning2)..for the little kids that ain't ever had nothing..

Aye, look up to me young *****, stop crying & stop pouting pick yo head up stop looking down man, keep running towards the end of the race, even when you are in last mane, keep pushing forward lil homie, don't give up, don't give in..just keep moving.. (Yeah2)..life  is a big test so if you just put forth in a little effort into succeding it in well in the end dawg, yeah when the end comes man you will win & its all gonna get better, Yeah..
So stay strong younging..Uhh, Young Ston yeah Imma 90s baby, but I spit ether tho homie, ain't no competing wit my lyrics *****..Aye Yeah you can compare me to Moses yeah I write scriptures, yeah I speak what the people need man, for real Yeah..



Ohh stunning
(I'm stunning4)..Aye, Yeah..(stunning2)..
(I'm stunning5)..stunning..Yeah ..stunning..
..(I'm stunning2) when they said I wouldn't, stunning.. (I'm stunning2)..stunning..(I'm stunning2)..when they thought I couldn't..I'm stunning..Yeah stunning..
(I'm stunning4)..when they thought I wouldn't..(I'm stunning..3)Yeah stunning.. (I'm stunning4)..when they said I couldn't..
/(I'm stunning3)..Yeah stunning/2
(Stunt3)..forget a doubter, get yo money, Yeah dawg,..(stunt2)..on them ***** made busters..(stunt2)..prove em all wrong..Uhh..Yeah dawg


Stunt, prove em all wrong Yeah..(Stunt3)..on them..(stunt3)..Yeah man, we stunning,Let's (stunt2)..We stunning, (stunt*3)
Ohh..Yeah

I'd like for you to be different.
It's easy to imagine,
but you're the farthest thing from simple.

I stare at my hands like an overweight, under estimated teen would look at their legs,
waiting from them to shrink.

You're filling in the empty spots, so that I don't have to.

I glare at the stars as if I could time travel one thousand years into the future, and enjoy the darkness that comes after explosions.

You're the color, bursting rays of light from your lips to my neck, where my skin absorbs all the words you never knew how to say.

I bite my lips like they won't bleed, even though I know they will, remembering teeth are beautiful, but they're sharp.

You're waisting your time trying to forget about me.

I talk too much about myself, but I don't care, because who doesn't?

bitter ****** taste,
Defeat.
On the back of one’s tongue
Waiting
Stomach acid-like
to get you
when you are most lulled into your self-centered world
to soak you to your core
in cold, cold water
but you, oh noble you
waisting so much time in youthful giddiness about the job well done
now see it wasn’t
can take it back
well, no you cant.
but you can move on
that is,
unless you drown yourself in it
defeat.

I don't know who is in you're life, but i know that with your mom, you might need someone. I just kinda want to be there for you. I know that you probably have other people, but i just want to let you know I'm here no matter what. Not as an ex girlfriend trying to become the girlfriend again, but as the friend that wants to help you though whatever you're going through. I will be you're 2 am phone call if you need them at that time or that person you just need to complain about a rough day too. Im sorry if I'm just waisting my time, but i just wanted to let you know I'm here for you.

Restless
Wounded
Weary
Wild

Working
Waisting
Wasteful
Vile

Hunting
Hurting
Hungry
Guile

Soothing
Smothered
Sinful
Tried

Wouldn't
Willful
Could
Repeat


Shouldn't

Wouldn't
Revel
Met

Wonder
Wander
Meddled

Spawned

Common
Shuttered
Humble
Harmed

Careful

Calculated
Course

Drawing
Waiting
Last
Recourse

Homage
Engorge
Gutteral

Gainful
Grieving
menial

Spew
Dispatched
Dispassionate

Great
Aloof
Merry
Spoof

Wander
Willing
Youth

Cancer

Crevasse

Comfort
Pain

Cuckold
Credit
***

Steward
Swear
Sally
Forth

Slither
Sully

Glum

My heart is beating, but i am not alive.
Being alive is but a mere memory to me.

I cry, I feel pain, I hate no longer.
I laught, I feel joy, I love no longer.

For you cannot have one, without the other.
I am a corps, waisting through life.
Only existing.

I long to have these feelings back.
without these i am not human.
When i dream, I am alive.
I see him, I see us.

We live together till we're old.
We die together, everythings by his side.

But its too late for that now,
too late for me.
And so I go on, long after I should.
Existing.

When I wake, I come crashing back to reality,
and so sleep, is the only place i can live...

With the stars as my witnesses,
I shall enter eternal sleep.
Once again, a love wrecked life shall  
end the easy way out.

'o happy dagger ! this thy sheath,
there rust, and let me die.'

Phil you told Hercules best,
That dreams are for rookies and prepare to fail life's test,

No matter how hard you try,
Your parents are wrong.. Your dreams will never touch the sky,

So just shut up and take a seat,
Maybe it's time for you and reality to meet,

Thinking you can achieve your dreams isn't right,
You're just Waisting time and pushing away everything in sight,

I'm done thinking my dreams are wild,
Cause I was stupid and acted like a child,

If you're smart you'll listen to me,
And know dreams belong to HA the people that "believe"

my baby hailey,
I'd eat this world.
I'd churp and burp .;.
It's  all  so bright
                        I'ts moving my sight
                     I'm on a first flight
No need to hold tight
            I'm morfing allnight...
           My eye sight is rubies I'll pass on the doobies .
my tune is groovys, .. this beat. wawh wawh wawh ,  ! get me the saw this tree needs a bra >.>
................That lazy daisy!........... is driving me crazy bin in the shower foe more then an hour'
waisting my water getting me hotter
      I must be a giant your freshest client .  
I think I have power ! that you should know,
just kiddin bro you're face seams to glow.

            whatta great trip You're getting a tip

Im just Waisting my time
Turning for you on a dime

I'm sick of this, Im sick of you

All the lies
Selfish ******* goodbyes

I walked out the door

No turning back
Follow the tracks

Ignored the sound of the southbound train

Stop and stare
Sheet metal bare

The scream of a whistle sounds

Standing and doing nothing
Waiting for something

Life is just Getting dull

No one knows why
He felt he had to die

Lying across the tracks

The funeral is slow
When you're six feet below

Nothing you can do now

Stops at the casket
Looks down in the basket

A tear forms in her eye

This poor girl
Left all alone

He never knew about her

The love can't be
For she can see

The man is no longer alive

Cause were all dead inside
We all can't deny

What is real, the pain I feel

Nights are long
And days are gone.
Being this way
Is not what I want.

I don't deserve it
Give somebody else the chance
'Cause I'm waisting this life
And I feel so bad.
So please **** me now.

Give somebody else the chance
To build a new life
Instead of me being
Wasting it every night.

Fought your case, hit the base now rage till you lose your face!
I'm space, you're space, we're all lost to the last drop and there is no reason for the pinball tournament to stop
We'll keep the cogs turnin till the babies stop shaking
I'm outside trying to rattle sheep while hurds are swarming in from sleep
My brothers coping with a lost coin toss and cigarette burns between his toes
All the mean while no one noticed some cats crept in and stole all our gold
I'll fold to hold it
Forgetting every milasecond I kept waisting my ability to forge sworn favors and excellent sense of humor for slackers and loose birds
Floating over broken bones bein stoked makin sure we're lettin the fires burn
Puttin the ashes in a modest recepticle and lay beneath the flowers
Layin in the lye for hours waitin to breakdown the spectacle of lights and superpowers
If I knew the purpose of the game
I probably wouldn't play
If I knew how to make money
I probably wouldn't want it
If knew how to not pop tires
My *** probably stop getting fired
But I'm tired and can't have half a nights rest for every moment is spent trekking on misguided intent with good motives in my head
I help the dead find their place in the middle coaching along singing the song all on the fiddle like that little ****** the riddle you bet your last skittle for a cup of brain sizzle
And I never said this was the best but my arrogance has you suckas restting in heck

...NO THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE WRONG
YOU'RE REPPIN THE WRONG SONG
AS A MATTER OF FACT
THE FACT IS THE MAXIM TACK
I MATTER
PEOPLE MATTER
WE
EVEN MAKE EXCEPTIONS FOR THE MAD-HATTERS
I DECLINE ISSUES OF OPINIONS UNNECESSARY
WHERE THE DOORS CLOSE ON YOUR POISON BERRIES

WHAT A SHAME...

PIERCED BY YOUR JUVENILE DELINQUENT MOUTH
THAT HAD SPENT SO MUCH TIME YAPPING DOWN SOUTH
YOU
YOUR FOGGED UP WINDOWS NEED WINDEX TO WIPE
ALL THE RUST WHERE MAGGOTS RELAX THIER EXHAUST PIPES
CAUSE I'M JUST ONE OF THOSE WHO BURST IN WITH
ALL THAT I LIVED MORE THAN YOUR GLOBAL TITTYS AND YOUNG BOY HOOD SPIT

IT'S A **** SHAME...

THEY- YOU
THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT
THE GOVERNMENT
THE CHANGE FOR A NO DOUGHT
I AIN'T MAD BUT I DO APPRECIATE THE PUBLIC DISTURBENCE
STIRED UP IN CRITCAL FIELD DISCUSSIONS LACKING INTELLIGENTCE
I INSTIST
~NO~
I ENCOURAGE
I FORGIVE
I STILL THINK
YOU'RE WAISTING TIME ON
DEVOURING THE ONES
WHO HAD ALREADY TASTED
THIS POISON IN YOUR CUP
RIPPLING
*******

WHAT A SHAME...

MAKE YOUR SPEECH PRESENT
I CAN HEAR YOU
RIGHT THROUGH YOUR FEARS
ERASE THEM
WHAT MATTERS MOST
NO ONE IS BETTER
THAN THE OTHER
LEADERSHIP IS NOT IN A SUITE
IS IT IN SOMEONE WHO NEEDS
NOT WANTS
FOR EQUALITY TO JUSTIFY
WHAT WARS CANT PREVAIL
IN HATE CRIMES.

#justiceforvictems

(INCREDIBLE INK- TEAM JAGUAR HAWAII)
© Copyright 2014 S.T. Parish Rebel of Eden

you're a father who abandoned your children
when we were at a sensitive age
your a father who abandoned your children
and that's how I want it to stay

you reckon it was mum who had left you
and that she had taken us away
but was you who started a new family
and forgot about the one you'd made

you said you need someone to do all your cooking and cleaning
what you meant was another slave
now I realise everything you said had a double meaning
you condemned yourself trying to be saved

I never once saw you with mum in the grand stand
you didn't show up for my 21st birthday
you didn't turn up for my wedding
you don't even know my kids names

now you rock that chair on the veranda
with all the symptoms they say
of almost full blown dementia
slowly waisting away

i actually believe in death do us part but her apparently not idc I'm here waisting air **** I'm ready to slit my ******* wrist she would ******* get off on watching me die sadly i sigh because she knows theirs nothing left for me here so i wither away and die this ***** is like a parasite digging her way into my mind slowly ripping the pieces of sanity i have left and that for isn't enough i wish i would have said ******* when she dumped me then wanted me back i wish i had a ******* heart attack i wish the pain would end me already let me die

What I've been seeing in this world sparks a fire inside me
While I comfort this mother right here beside me

What she thought was a love wasn't taken seriously
It was evil, vindictive, like a bad conspiracy

She's always blown off, spending her nights alone
Mind in a million different places, constantly waiting by the phone

So she gets tired of always being disrespected
But instead of just a seperation, the child gets neglected

While she's always gotta worry about enough money coming in
You seem to always have the time to find a new girlfriend

Day in and day out they struggle to eat
Yet you always stay fresh with new J's on your feet

You're the first one to "turn up" runnin' round yellin' YOLO
While you're ownin' that strut in your Ralph Lauren Polo

Nothing ever seems to be enough, no matter how hard she tries
She keeps a poker face, but alone she still cries

Your checks go to bar tabs and dinner dates with your new fling
But in the grocery store she pinches pennies hoping she has enough for everything

His first experience in a sport, he feels important with his name on his back
He looks so handsome in that uniform, new cleats and matching hat

He's not upset that they lost, or that when he'd swing he'd only miss
The only thing on his mind is where his dad is

She never imagined it would be this hard to get by
She still pleads with you to be involved, but It's a never ending lie

The same child that you so easily show abuse to
Strives for what his classmates are so used to

If you're not living for your child, what do you live for?
Time invested means more than your finances, for the rich or for the poor

And this isn't just aimed toward dead beat dads, because some women do it too
To the same child they so preciously carried in their womb

A sad excuse for a parent is all one in the same
If you can walk away from what you created with no shame

Instead of sitting back waisting time being so judgemental
Be productive, stop twerkin, do somethin' fundamental

A child will be affected from a mom or a dad
Tell your excuses to one who miscarries, and loses something they never had

I wonder if you'll ever fully realize what you're missing in life
For precious moments like these you can't get twice

The sad reality is my father took a bullet to the chest
And didn't have the chance that you do to have the time you could invest

"For this child I have prayed"...That's what you'll read in the scripture
They're a blessing, not a trophy for your Instagram picture

I look into the mirror and I am surprised to see
That I don't recognize the woman who looks back at me

There are no red highlights in her long blond hair
In it's place gray has taken root there

Skin that was once flushed with juvenility
Now is wrinkled and shows signs of antiquity

Eyes that were once bright and keen
Now look faded from the years they've seen

This can't be my reflection that I see
This old woman who's looking back at me

I can't have aged this many years
I'm not as old as this woman appears

Then I start thinking of the days gone by
And feel the tears pick my eyes

Growing up with in a family who loves me still
Going to school filling the bill

Dating and meeting the man I'd wed
Remembering the vows that we said

Being blessed with a new life to raise
Oh how young I was in those days

The years flew by as I reminisced
Remembering each milestone, the turns and twists

I looked at my reflection again and seen
A wise and mature woman looking back at me

A sad smile forms on my lips
As I slowly come to grips

That the years have caught up with me
And the price I pay is my vanity

Still, I wouldn't trade the wrinkles or one gray hair
For I've enjoyed the life that has gotten me here

Now I look forward instead of looking at the past
No waisting time, it goes by too fast

Blessed with a daughter and two grandsons who love me
I'm proud to be called Mom and "Grammy"

Yes, time has taken it's toll
But I still know how to rock and roll

So with each new day I'll dance and sing
To life's music and the gift's it brings

I give my thanks to the Lord and Lady above
For the years I've seen and all the love

L. A. Anglin
Copyright © 2014

I deleted my social medias again
I won't go back until I have a song I'm proud of.

I was waisting away down a timeline of ads
I wasn't connecting with anyone
I connected with awkward cats.
I don't even want a cat.

Maybe I'll fix my TV
Invite some potential friends over
And watch awkward cats together.

I aM so dOne. So tiReD of bOys asPiriNg to be Men, gRabBing my fRaIl heArt and slOwlY teAriNg it apArt. So eXhauSted frOm fixiNg evEry one. PIckiNg up tHeir lOose scRews aNd wAisTing my haPpinEss trYing to fix thEm. My yoUng soUl has AgeD too fAst. My youNg sMile tuRned tirEd. My sickening desiRe to be yEt agAin intOxicated By loVe. I bEg for my sOul to be loSt in soMeoneS smoKe. I craVe for my mInd to be lOst in someoNes fingers. To have my hEart feEl the boTtom of a sHoe. Strange fEelingS tiCkle my coLD hearT.

I’m sorry for waisting your time
rambling on talking about all
and nothing just hoping that
you will catch the hints and
my shaky hands and the
blur in eyes
but you didn’t and i don’t
know how to talk and how
to cry
what do I need to do for
you to realize that all day
and everyday i’m in pain
i’m fighting everyday to
keep my head held up
when you will you see
that i’m in pain

*(s.m)

i'm not someone who's all too willing to regurgitate
maxims...
it's quiet impossible to have to
vouch for so many observational (not objective,
really) truths...
   after all... the height of the maxim came
with (not Nietzsche) - came with
                       la Rochefoucauld...
                - chance and caprice rule the world
   - we are lazier in mind than (in) body...
to pick but a pair...
a western emphasis for all things
    a posteriori...
              to circumstance oneself in a stance:
akimbo...
or at least akin to Pontius Pilate having
nothing to do with the drilling in of mea culpa:
even for him... something about a lottery
of time and an inescapable round of chores...
that some things are certain is enough
to give a day one's privacy...
but everything else: so agitated and in the tier
of meaningful encounters...
always the "matter"...

unlike those ?? maxims -
which mostly dictate things with an a priori
tinge of "sentiment"...
a verb pure suppose: no prior encounter
like that one that i kept and figured:
keep the sponge of a brain suckling up to it:

the only way to aid the world
is to forget the world
and for the world to forget you -

                crazy for that chance: anon. as
being credited to me, though...
   there's another maxim, though,
i must ascribe it to Socrates because it's most
befitting...

some people live to eat...
others... eat to live...

that's a real conundrum for me...
well... why wouldn't it be?
     if i were to take into account something
archaic as the Pythagorean diet schematic...

god-like eating: vegetables,
                     spices, cereals, dry food...
although some distinctions
if eating meat pork > goat > offal >
mutton > beef...
spices are the extreme to beans
(although... a diet without fibre...
and "we" know that beans
are high in protein)
            dry food: well between
burnt offerings and something rotten...

i was surprised... given the status
of pork to the pagans...
then again: it's the most pristine creature
as it's wholly edible...
beside the oink and the hoofs...
and ol' porkies wouldn't survive in
a desert to begin with...
so i don't understand allah's "beef" with
this pristine creature...
child's play of talk...
      no mention of eating crab meat:
scavenger meat... yet most pristine...

yes... but it's a return from my little
hiatus in katakana, hiragana & hangul...
i'm tired of this custard brain splodge
of curating these symbols
of syllable encoding...

back to the atoms of Latin script...
that these letters are as they are...
mostly because
of the Greek eye...
imitation: the latin script doesn't
have names for its letters...
sing-along stipends (etc.)
no clearly defining A a a(lpha)
which denotes a name and a cipher
like a(lpha) male etc.

a "quicker" root: conserved time...
Hebrew, Phoenician, Greek, Latin...
chicken scratching later...
hopes to elevated to pelican... somewhat...

but still the maxim:
some people live to eat
while others eat to live...
it is a double-edged sword...
i can spot the obvious:
when and where people eat
to survive...
it's more important to eat...
than not to:
how this maxim deciphers fussy-eaters
among the Mandarin omnivores...
well...

but then there's also this attention
to detail surrounding:
some people live to eat:
so they will treat their food with
knowledge and tenderness...
that will make eating a pleasure...
who here might quest to make
the antonym of eating a pleasure...
a spell of diarrhoea, for example?
unless of course bombarded
with **** *** imagery:
one would have to quest to find pleasure
in easing out a loaf:
best in one piece...
  than have to imagine the same...
being reversed back into
one's "glory hole" with a pump action
of agitated vibrations...

and there i was thinking about
being in the possession
of a strap-on phallus made from
ice...
some people live to eat
whole others eat to live...

i thought it less to be in the category
of people who live to eat:
then i gave it some "thought"
and figured out...
the people that eat to live
are the ones that will not prepare
their own food...
oddly enough...

i too thought it was a sustenance
statement...
but given that ******* out
is hardly pleasurable...
chewing is hardly too...
digestion can put you to sleep...
preparation of food is most associated
with the sentiment: some live to eat...
it's not a statement of gluttony...

what's the best easy breakfast i could
think of, sparingly... today...
with revision?
when frying an egg
letting it fry just shy of completely
while dressing it with a slice
of chorizo and finishing it off
with a slice of cheese...
placing it on a toast...

   that i eat to live: well i'm not starving...
animals eat to live...
which is why they don't cook their food...
they eat it raw...
and some people have become
wild animal esque...
in the fast food joints...
lazily being... some people are fed...
to take care for what's to be eaten...
i love this maxim because
it's not so ****** obvious
as to why: some people live to eat...
that there's a concern for what is eaten...
you can't exactly expect yourself
to find substance in tree bark
and grass...

to eat to live is out of desperation...
to live to eat comes from
something more aesthetic than...
       previously thought...
not to the extent of treating food as some
Cezanne - humble origins more, please...
rustic - yes... that's another word for it!

i came across this thought as i came across
a memory of her...
it's a real shame... really...
i was so young then...
she was so young then...
i was 21 she was 19...
   a weird year where i suddenly had
attention of a few girls...
but this one in particular...
what sort of girl proposes to a guy
and choses an engagement ring...
the sort of girl that subsequently
gives it back...
because - well where's Edinburgh
and where's London...
but it's not like she would go down south
with me... she went all the way west
with a previous boyfriend...
from Novosibirsk to St. Petersburg...
then again prior bf had a daddy well
situated and i'm still equivalent
to being a carpenter's son...
  
     out of no less... when the heliocentric
revolution happened...
and geocentric us-and-us-alone
and wish the gods real...
the gynocentrism prevailed as did...
           hypergamy -
                       it's no shock it's nothing new
it's like there was no Copernican
adventure to begin with...
since... everything on earth stayed:
pretty much the same...
now there are only about 3 million
a posteriori walking abortions that
could have taken place
but since... the argument came from:
use... the ****** had to be...
used... and there was all the free time...
and everyone else was doing it...
but not these sons are placebo solipsists
and they have to sort of:
give back the existential tax
of having a life on loan...

            hello... world...
but god the *** was good...
   the most thrill from the memory was...
eating her out like i might
divulge - burrow my face in
greasy beef... i would like a comparison
with oysters or... eating flowers...
but that was the best part...
oral *** and a little ******* sgt. pepper
of the index middle and thumb
working with my thumb to grease
myself up before the whole hallelujah
of the genitals in symphony...

i've been to several brothels and
about a dozen ****** and...
well... well...
                 it's not the same when
one of you is faking payment
and the payment is not as clear
as literally for an hour...
she stayed in my flat rent free...
etc.

          my youth... and she...
oh... plus the chance conversation about
liking Milan Kundera's
the unbearable likeness of being...
although i doubt she read it...
she was most concerned with swans...
i remembered swans from the film adaptation
more than from the book...
then again: memory is a fickle creature...
even now as i'm enjoying
this little cameo project of existentialism
(i.e. memory) -
well... i don't exactly have a choice
in what i can and cannot remember...
beside the anti-dyslexic / numeral-savvy
2 + 2 and a + b + s + o + l + u + t + e...

when she broke up with me
she had this way of insinuating i'd miss
the *** with: when we had ***
and listened to music
the dandy warhols' good morning:
play it when you're missing the "****"...
sure as ****
when i think about eating chicken
meat off the bone...
esp. at the tenderness of the chicken
neck with all the intricacies
of suckling and "plucking"...
i do think about...
a fleshy fruit that i cannot nibble...
or eat...

well that was me zenith of ****** endeavours:
i must adored the heart
of the **** i was eating out
since her onomatopoeia of sorts
is still ringing in my ear:
along with her face in cubist contortions:
i still haven't found relief in
having been pleasured:
some variation of an agony of a martyr
having given pleasure:

not state-holding of a saint's repertoire...
but as i now look it...
a life of restraint:
beside the prostitutes and the brothels:
hell... even the Teutonic Knights
had a brothel in their citadel...
if only i were as willing as
to give my heart up...
to weave in
     a sacrament of giving her a pink
rose... no...
i didn't come across something
just as good:
and this "just as good" is too firmly
lodged in my memory-cinema
for me to blink away from it...
i count myself lucky...
how pristine it all was...

a good shaking of the bag
and out popped out a ****'s depth
enough of wriggling for me
to not appeal to some
*****-envy buckle... after that i grew
a beard and forgot to want to play
the fiddle...
but it was a must, something necessary...
me writing about it now, a decade later
might appear as a vanity project...
then again: i wasn't as busy...
she took off and became
"devoted" twice...
the 2nd time a failure the third i'm still
praying for the poor buck to not
buckle...
i mean: she can boast that she drove
one boy mad...
but what a strange man he came out
to be...
a half-baked loaf of bread: with
teeth for a crust...

summa summarum: it was worth it...
i was ruining my time
in bed, of late...
i came across a ref. to the Noyades...
which was of "concern" for me...
but i also came across an entry: GENUG

the last words spoken...
by certain people of "concern"...
kant (genug) - enough...
              agrippina (nero's mother) -
smite my womb...
thomas hobbes - a great leap in the dark;

if i were the latter i'd also like
to reiterate: into the dark...
unless it be the already sentencing of:
a dark of night...
i find nothing universal in the day
but at least by night
i would simply imply:
beside the darkening mechanisation
of life by toil of body
and the fickleness of mind...
ah... pedantry and chastisement
of self-
(yes... prefixing attachment ready)
for whatever requires
automation and scythe...
and rude workings of
   a digestive system...

besides... there's an easier demand
of argument to be met:
some people live to ****...
others **** to live...
i never liked the Anglophonic line
or argumentation from existentialism:
for the masses from within Darwinism
solves all little interludes...
how it's necessary to equate everything
with squared root of ape...

it can't be this whole narrative...
even the ancient pagan had knowledge
of: **** similis...
i'm still searching for this...
vanguard hope of **** sapiens...
i'm yet to find one...
esp. one with strict etymological
obligations that can distinguish
a word like Slav from Slave...
a Germ from..          -an...
mute from niemy... chwek... etc.

this narrative though: concerning genes:
genes are blind like atoms of sodium are
unless pushed out
from extremes of hereditary cul de sacs
of non-replica...
lineage of cancerous-growth-prone-examples...
etc.
but why oh why...
have this baggage of concerns...
these atomic-attachments:
this hiding of hearth...
it's not predicate of genius...
vain hope bound to horoscopic tension
to spit out a desirable temperament
of a man?

character is all Lego...
crafted from both an a priori and an a posteriori
and an a- priori and: summa posteriori
litany of shelved secrecies...
(a-? without)

each time i return to this little scrap:
this little memory of her...
i also return to myself...
what an idealistic ****-lord
of presence i was...
i was the sort of guy that could buy
a girl oysters for a single date...
well... given the "nature" of life...
the "narrative"...

i will relinquish my fascination with
the eastern arts...
the katakana, the hiragana, the hangul...
when someone teases me
wrong... as i show them...

the cedilla in C and the greek
sigma
  i.e. ç
         i.e. there are many sigmas...
there are... satires...
    there are... all opera is tragedy...
there are loan-words! even in english!
sights to see
  si(gh)t?... ******* surds...
   (g)nome... diaGnostic...
                  (k)night... night, nought...
GH & proud...
   it's almost my...
  meine besitzen zunge, das ich liebe
     so viel...

watch the zeppelins rain down blitzkrieg
in slow-motion while
the Danube rummages with
flow vs. tide... and Birmingham is
without tide... and everything else
is everything else with a spare
tire of metaphor...

- some people eat to live...
while other live to eat...
            i much prefer to cook my own food...
i take pride in owning an arsenal
of spices...
along with a black cardamom
that's the equivalent of a
Laphroaig glug...
  since mead: was yet to be
a drank mythological concern for truths...

oh this little vanity project that it
is... when i loved...
when i was in love...
  when i wasn't this beastly secured
in things that would either blush
or frown at things upkept
in the cosmopolitan lineage
of affairs...
  "conversation":
  that it was Paris and me and
these two Catelonian girls went
to the grave of "desperate Michael"...
well, no... who was it...
it wasn't Bill Murray...
the doors' frontman...

        such a revealing proximity
of: my given names i most associate
with...
   konrad von wallenrode...
konrad of masovia...
  mateusz: tax-collector...
       40 ******* months
itching before what remained
Giza... and that's before the dwarf
Napoleon shifted rules of rank...

it was a great ****...
i still love the idea we didn't become
so bored as to be bored
with orthodoxy that we might
have to delve into
****... *** toys...
or... i would love to have
donned a latex gimp... open mouth...
hell... all that gwory hole-ing a limited
status of halo...
i retracted my ambitions...
didn't... i?

i didn't find replacements...
physicality strict-dentures of: failure count?
i made my metaphysical investment?
didn't i...

two weeks without walking...
chant des templiers...
i "thought" myself more a Hospitalier(s)
son in bud...
salve regina...
two weeks without walking
i "decide" to write...
it's not enough:
memory
overcomes me...

the best **** i've had and it's not
something i want
to remember for a *******...
mind you i found alternatives...
donning my hair long enough
and a new found riddle in
a beard...
and a Turk that dealt in
Caucasian memorabilia..
of living extensions...
               you see...
a visit to the barber with overgrown
bush...
of hair and stubble...
became more frankly... pleasurable...
than... what was to be done
with...

         that statue by
            apollonius of athens...
i ****** off to Bronzino's
   venus, cupid, folly & time:
beside the cupping of the breast
the teasing tenderness of the ******
prone tongues...
all ***** on silent mode...
or at least only gesticulating
at marble statues in the process
of being erected:
without promise of a public
ordeal to overthrow (the publics)
Punic details of slou... slow...
slouch... and brittle... karma: wood...

toward an excruciation of justified
meaning: this arrangement of lettering:
how feeble and toothpick prone
this brittle groove & ground...
my harvest of dislodged ease...
sensibly: antithesis grammatical pseudo...
sssssssssssss
side-winding... slithering...
side-accost...
***-seer-Saracen...

          becau­se of some pope
with a name like Urban...
              a finicky genesis...
             from memory
a white serpent of light
   in a crest of illuminate azure
giving border upon the Firth of Forth...
when two creasing crows
staged themselves
on the pinnacle of the Old College,
Edinburgh...
the nights were aflame with
youth...
the nights were... gott-gegeben...

miraculous? no!
    just aided by a stealth variation
and with life...
this mediocre surmounted...

pointer: when is... "it", i.e.:
enough is enough vs.
enough is "it"?
  i'm hardly poignancy prone
to state the difference, proper...
i've levitated toward slouch
for a week or so...
i find not pleasure in writing:
not as much as i arrived at
finding it, once more:
in walking...
boyo... you should have seen
me gear up to a bicycle...

         god what time it was to be gladly
*******!
to be so Darwinistically excated
with purpose!
but also so blind... so unhappy!
no wonder i had to fathom
a retraction: this everyday
into day-by-day...
und grey-labour & tedium &
"good"...
        
but it wasn't a waisting
of a "crown"...
i didn't live up to the expectations of:
the greatest ***** that ever
"lived"...
i wouldn't have...
lived to spar with agony aunt
commentary...
i would be the least believed *******
child of variation of
a prosthetic progeny of "sowing":
all gladly encountered metaphors...
some as ugly as necessarily ugly to breed...
most high i.q. is bred out
and is left to individualistic chancing
of revision...

then again: there's no revision...
the one who i lost my virginity with...
i "tried" to get in touch with her...
5 loads in the basin later...
she's an insomniac of reproduction...
of course she was all defensive...
when i asked her why she was so sad:
five daughters: no son...
she put it down on exhausted from...
she didn't notice i was making
a henry VIII remark...

i can't and therefore will not wish it upon
myself:
merry me: marry me i too were
that father when je suis and hey zeus
asked upon the crucifix dangling:
father...
yes... perpetual bachelor, i...
entombed existentially: no escapee
planning: processed...
            
      alles ist gott: und nothing too...
  my words: before i die...
i'm sure i'll be drunk as a saber
with blood not spilt...
as heavily worked
as a currency of horse
currently on display in the fields
where i walk...
ditto grazing and ditto:
  grass-heaping chewing-heave
          anecdotal.

before the "prized ******* bull" &
entourage of fizzing waters started to throttle
any further mentioning of
libido limbo:
        that's the scarcity of my
****** ambitions...
   mind you: i'm glad i suckled on that
wet oyster pouch before
i was sent back to the "gulag"
of skeleton teasing an imitation hollow...
before the kama sutra provision
***** envy might have taken over...

very impossibly: it's a conundrum
of reiteration of sort
that's not worth more erosion
of memory since it doesn't rhyme...
i wouldn't have lived
enough of the already given
"this" if i haven't thought about "that"...

today i found some compensation
for years drilling ego into abstract
and smiling at nothing
and all things / manners of ape:
everclear's debute e.p.
        marylin manson's holywood...

i still want that king crimson debut
vinyl to adorn my loan space
of a room of a life...
because i have to hide all that jazzy *******
on the side...

stone temple pilots -
that album with the song: art school girlfriend...
anything more -esque to capture
the sentiments of pulp and that
other song: wickerman...
for d'ah bass...

   impossibly delightful to heave
a wounding of a lung with
a morning's daily brief of
harking up excess phlegm
stuck to the wall...
how there's a heart and i call it
a sparrow and how it flusters
and flutter with a difficulty
when i've presented it with
a caging like so...

             Baltic sushi: which involves...
primarily... soaked herring in
spirit vinegar...
with mustard seeds...
bay leaf... allspice... onions & garlic...
tender... fish meat...
curated by curing
by acid alone rather than heat...
evil in the beans: perhaps too much
"roughage" / fibre...
but a constipation of world renown
for 3 days solid...

because of the full-english-fry-up...
which makes you wonder
how it can be served thrice
in a day
if one's lazy about "details":
the same quote revised...
some people live to eat...
while other eat to live...

it's not a statement of gluttony...
it's... some people will eat anything...
while others will tend to curate
what they eat to make
expensive remarks on what's
allowed to expand and what has to...
inevitably... shrink into non alias
null alias nil alias shrugging feline...
bothersome quick-essential...
practice of dangling a kite...
toward (rather than against) the wind...

GLAYVA - a liquer...
          ****... a... liqueur - a L'CUR
   a lee cwuer...
         velsh?!
               simply *******...
          a li'kwer... ditto ditto this that
and anything in between...
i'm rehashing a fancy for sleeping
with a foreign body in the same
bed i leave open to satire: tomb...
begins with cat...
given all my whimsical demands
and idiosyncratic scrutiny+plural..
highten-ed
                what first was a believable
oyster gorge and...
floral patterns agitated:
pound upon pound of flesh...

no... impossible...
some people live to eat
while other eat to live:
statement of not so desperate times...
perhaps...
if necessary i might nibble on
some grasshoppers...
or any insects fried...
but the statement alludes
to... some people will eat anything...
it's not a statement of / for gluttonous
mishandling of...
some people live to eat:
nutritionists...
the statement is clearly abstract towing
so it expand with each reitertion
as any maxim given enough
mantra status...

said true: but prior to...
blindly-being-followed...
it can revise itself...

        rekindle: ashes and all manners of
said... truant...
         bigger no  bigger than
a hyphen interjection within
the confines of conjunction:
Big-Giza... troublesome 1st and omega
sentencing... echoes of melancholy
in a rush to satiate
forests turning into bureaucratic
pyre structures...

      these burning effigies of time
best wasted... off what was readily available:
scrutiny at best:
all that surfaced was to heave...
an amalgamation of prods, touching,
prodding... juxtaposing junctions...
hinterland of diacritical marker demands...
something "Ukrainian"...

something Moldova-esque... old haunts
older grievances...
newly arrived at carpets with
them being cleaned...
a grandfather most impressionable:
death so last random
that it could only have leverage
with(in) the cofines of
a stomach confined to:
squid ink squirt...

misunderstood lyrics...
slipknot's eyeless...
               i heard...
   you can't see California without
Marlon Brando's eyes...
you can't see California without
Marlon Brando's eyes...
you can't see California without
Marlon Brando's eyes...
you can't see California without
Marlon Brando's eyes...

i'm pretty sure that's not Tsar: i.e.
"it"... yeah... that one...
bothersome brother at the till
of a brothel... less chasing chequers
at the hyper-inflated curiosity of need
of a supermarket...
till... cashier... sooner me dead there
with a death prior...
how ignited in the case:
most futile...
not ignited by some plumber credentials
etc.
stash of leftovers...
basin of sudokus...
              crazing over scalp shaves
rite of bone...
"my" kindred... touch-tease a halving of
bone of Iowa...
riddle this scuttle of nuance...

this leftover cold sure: beef
i heaved for a closure for:
the innocent expanse for furthering of "love":
what was made edible..
what was kept indigestible...
this riddle of words...
              these words half kept
as w(h)iddle...
    beg....       big...      Giz'ah...
sigh of relief or give one's purpose...
vowel-catching... within the confines
of sighs... otherwise
the exclamation markings...
letter to the "bone"...
                   hardly anything of note
ex the Iberian peninsula...
a Hebrew would know...

       thank you gimp suited &
boot licking worth maggot spew....
i have outlived my purpose of riddle...
i'm hardly going to appease
the throng of "doubt"
when it comes to clinging to something
"bilateral":
queasy without dizzy...

what's that?
qu-easy
  vs. -izzy..
                        forget it...
letters like lumberjack praise of
pork,,
something to market: sizzle...
gimp suits and all things best kept
tinged with... bride... horror...
my bride.., not some angry african
who-man'ood...
   conservative little hooded
monsters prior to the Levant practice of
the snippet...
skin left so bare...
the eagerly waiting *****
of whitey...
angry baking half angry "noir"..
the women the challenge...

i pretend to dance before mirrors...
my elongation of the hand
looks more like a crab
than what i want it to depict:
i.e. a spider...
the 2oth century is a house
of haunting:
it's not a circa... esp. one might
wish to be born in...

that there was ever an "expectation"
and it allowed itself
a summary... with excuses...
if we are all...
pointing & turning...
the Polacks were not given... TS...

I feel my life falling apart day by day,
I feel my heart wasting away with time,
please dont mind these tears i shed,
there just drops of pain waisting away threw the fields in may never to stay hidden in the darkness of my soul.
I try to take whole of it and hide it but sometimes I just break wishing for you to take my life with this daggerd knife.

There are days where I am high upon a dusk cloud
And rustic skylines bleed into bare trees

There are days where I bleed into white sheets
And I never leave the the lights on

There are days, and then more days
And minutes within smiles,
seconds ticking laughter, half assed conversation among fruitful hallways

Strawberry girl smiles and she would hate that I called her that
And maybe she would hit me and maybe I’m an *******, and maybe I’m a baby

And I’m a baby.

I remember not knowing I could die, not ever thinking about my heart, not ever waisting any time.
I should be that way now,
And yet as clocks continue to tick I just hum along in the warmth
So sometimes days become weeks
But sometimes days are just too short
And some days I am just to short
For the heights  I want to reach

I remember jumping had a different connotation when I was a kid...

Tired of falling asleep and waisting a dream on feelings and emperors.

I'm caught in the sink wash me oh please the dirt of my old life's.

Time is following me I covered her blinks her eyes won't stop shinning.

Pills sound good for this stuff but I know that it's rust I'm up for suggestion.

Why would you look over?
It's God or smoke **** the spark of a new life.

"DONT LET THE WORLD BREAK ME"



In a world so cold

Makes you wonder



If there is any love out there

Haters always trying to knock me down



Jealousy always trying to stop me

No ones perfect in this world



But only God can judge me

Only he knows whats in my heart



Only he knows why I do things

So why do some people in this world wanna judge me?



When they dont even truly know me

So much hatred towards me



So much Jealousy thrown my way

Some would rather see me die then to see me fly



Lord, I beg you

Dont Let the world break me



As they try to everyday

Some backstabbing me everyway



Why is there so much hatred towards me

Maybe because it's their jealousy



There are some things that I dont understand in this world

Like, why are there people starving?



Why is the world's enviroment in such a mess

And people dont do anything to fix it?



Why are people always tripping on me

When they dont even know me



Dont Let the world break me

Even when they try, they wont be able to



Because I am much stronger then they'll ever know

And with you by my side Lord, I am Invincible



So much hatred around the world

So much backstabbing



I'm not trying to act as if I am perfect

I am not the kind of person to judge



But why are so many people always judging me?

He who is without sin, let him cast the first stone



They that truly know me,

Let they be the ones to say anything about me



Although I doubt that they ever will

Its hard to find true friends out there



Because there are so many haters out there

Dont Let the world break me



Stop judging me..

Stop waisting your time on me



There are more things in demand out there

that need attention



Why do you pay your attention on

the starving people out there



Why dont you pay attention

On the World's enviroment



Why dont you pay attention on

Your own family, I bet their in need of it



For those out there who are constantly judging me

take my advice



And look at yourself in the mirror

I bet you'll find yourself to be non-perfect



So who are you to judge me

Who are you to backstab



As they constantly try

Lord, Don't Let the world break me



By



Erik Herrera

Fill... Fill... Set back... Fill...
Life has become a repeat.
Of past anomalies and tremendous defeat.
Fill. Fill. Set back. Empty?
The things I come cross everyday.
Which are new to me in every way.
Fill me with new content to stay.
In my mind for just one day.
Full...
With no new knowledge to learn.
One can only yearn.
For more 'unknown days' to pass and lay here waisting away on soft grass.

Possibilities.
Are endless they say.
But is that true with so little time waisting away?
I am not only words but also a man.
A man with so few expressions to feed life's demands.
How can I review such crucial day view?
When I am yet exploring the possibilities set by a few.

I feel as though I'm waisting away
Like I'm just a color on a paper slowly fading

Life got hard the moment finding love became just as hard as keeping it.
The world was tired of waisting its time making everyone happy so it turned a blind cheek.
I just wish I wasn't oblivious to the soft smiles she gave me when I wasn't looking.
And time had no effect on my anger.
Like every breathe that escaped my denial fed my imagination of never falling in love again.
So we ignore feelings to fuel the flames of our dreams.
And the clouds floating above our heads when we day dream,
Are really just our feelings giving off steam.
So now our world slowly destroys its self by the factories we've made in our hearts to keep away love.
And this ozone layer will never repair itself until we find love again.

Here am l,
not quite lived,
or really lived my life
at this present moment,
and am here thinking
about death,
instead of living the life given,
I'm waisting my time,
my energy,
my best moments,
thinking of a world
I never know,
or want to be right now
nor to be bothered with,
though I knew of its existence
does not necessarily mean
I want to prepare for it while
living in the present moment.
Though it will come but at its time.
You are not going there
with anything but your experience.
Concentrate on living an
awesome life with
a beautiful ending,
be altruistic in your dealings,
accumulate a great lesson,
live a life of service,
earn yourself a good name,
and exit from here with
dignity,honour and respect.
You are not here to think
about the next life
you have not seen,
but to live well in the now
and enjoy the present moment
which is now entirely yours.
Learn the lessons in each encounter,
accept and forgive whoever
and whatever confronts you,
for in it you will find yourself.
At the end of your existence,
you would have lived a worthy life,
regardless of how early or
late your demise might be.
Whatever may be the case,
live an exemplary life worth
of emulating without
rancour and strive,
but with a quiet spirit full of life,
love and light to share.
However hurt or cheated you may be,
forgive and forget with
Thanksgiving for the sake
of peace within you.
©2018,Emeka Mokeme. All Rights Reserved.