"unbolted" poems
Muelle de Binondo Street,
Barangay San Nicolas,
Old Manila.
My dad's fate
Will always be muddled
With nostalgia:
The mid-afternoon
Traffic of fruit vendors,
The toothless strains
Of my grandfather's voice,
Bouncing off
The warehouse walls
Like folding cardboard,
The ceramic gallops of horse-
Drawn kalesas taking him
From school to
My grandfather's offices,
Every day and back,
Up and down
The cardboard box river
To Tondo. There, he hurriedly
Buys ten
Asado buns
From a stall across the
Street from their
School - a voracious
Schoolboy
Forever late for class, forever
Putting on basketball jerseys
Too wide for him,
Basketball shorts too
Short; body
Always too gangly,
Too long-limbed, wide eyed
And fleet footed
For his dreams to catch.
He once could dunk.
He is still a baby boomer -
Scared of firecrackers,
Weird penchant
For popped collar shirts,
Pointed shoes, and
Sequins - he, was an avid
Lover of stars - his old
Dust-strewn bed posts
Giving way, I imagine,
To iron bars caging
The luminous starry night,
Floating high above
The sewage
And the freight trucks
That weigh him so.
They sang to him.
In the tune of
My mother's voice -
The only album
He ever possessed.
Song set from
His favorite band.
"Apo Hiking Society."
His favorite word,
Was "leap."
A disciple
Of MJ, Dr. J,
And Magic,
Samboy, and Jawo,
Icarus on hardwood
And leaping
From the free throw line.
"Son," he once told me,
"You gotta leap
"If you wanna live."
He was always afraid of heights.
It wasn't until 41 that
We made him ride a roller-coaster,
That he had even seen a roller-coaster.
"You gotta leap
"If you wanna live."
I think my favorite
Memory of my dad
Is still him wringing my fingers
At Space Mountain with
Eyes so tightly shut
That we forgot
Our fears,
And screamed instead:
So.
This,
Is how the stars look like
When unbolted
By folding cardboard,
And iron bars.
Mar 22, 2015
Mar 22, 2015 at 9:32 AM UTC
Boredom churns broad-in-brain
competing with petty volumes of alcohol
(white Russian, 1, Magic Hat #9, 1)
for dominance of the summer's eve.
Unsure of which would prove the victor,
past-tense, too, filled with unknowing:
thought- and pedaling-process interrupted
by a traitorous bicycle;
a forward-bent-fork;
a fleeing, unbolted forwardwheel.
Fast-pitch forward,
eyes-wide but dead:
quickfall into void.
Then, wide-eyed horror:
awake again
filled with the horrible pain of life again
fueled, amplified tenfold
through the impact of the sidewalk.
Oct 3, 2010
Oct 3, 2010 at 7:55 AM UTC
braided by burdens
hidden from the wandering sun
my cage was bronze, my voice frozen
only could stretch once i was
unbolted, unjolted, of all these poisons
soaking into my psyche at every moment
altering the shade of joy, door left open
reruns from the demons, another opponent
the drink so potent, my ego stolen
a wordy poet silenced to biological atonement
Jun 10, 2023
Jun 10, 2023 at 3:04 PM UTC
I never felt like a hopeless romantic.
I was more hopeless.
My echoed gears turned the oil blood sick.
Burnt rubber following a dim lit haze.
Unbolted and unburdened with only you to praise.
Jan 22, 2018
Jan 22, 2018 at 2:55 AM UTC
yes, i have not removed an inch of makeup, these
past three days.
i can still taste beers and united kingdom’s colloquialisms
on my burdened
tongue.
and i have holes in stockings and black-and-blues
brushing my collarbone.
weekends, two and a half days, winding among unbolted
doors that lead to what you want but can’t admit
sober.
yes, i still feel every inch when i saunter through flaxen
leaves. how did i never notice such colors
before?
let the world be your oyster, except i’m vegetarian. so let it be my
sea. ocean. every drop that i never tasted.
fingers taste much better when they’re being
shoved beneath your front teeth.
five in the morning is the perfect time for screaming at lies
you cannot see through. for falling onto beds that cannot hold
more than one person but you trytrytry anyway.
yes, i do not know where i am going anymore,
but this tingling in my toes must mean
something.
Nov 5, 2013
Nov 5, 2013 at 9:26 AM UTC
A muse plays my harp
strings made of veins and thread,
cobblestones line over my body
having bric-a-bracs in the evening,
Rain splashes over shelves
and ego vapourizes like helium,
pyres burn my effigy tonight
stardust shines the bubble
tearing ashes like paper,
Warheads crack my halo from within
setting me up like the haze,
my lip syncs with the beats
dancing my limbs as it heeds away,
Clouds shower blessings upon my head
the chakra opens as if unbolted by wind,
clear conscience reigns inside me
and photos set us apart like fences .
Sep 27, 2016
Sep 27, 2016 at 2:20 PM UTC
Their knowledge challenged by fascination
And their purity approved by desire
The mortality of the gods is tested in love
And their morality in passion
The planets align for trial by combat
In what seems like an infinite second
The fates were blinded by prophecy
Slaves to the gravity of their polarity
Stars glide over the dance floor
Eclipsed by the salt of the Earth
The magma boils under their surface
Sulfuric rain is set aflame
Toxic fumes pervade the galaxy
Warning any body of their cosmic steam
Secrets kept by ancients unbolted
Are left in dust and ruin
The pull is inescapable
The heat untouchable yet embraced
To meet is forbidden
His mass a carcass everlasting
She is seen but unspoken to
Above the fog she shines dark and scarlet
She invites any who can bear her fragrance
Her aroma intensifies while denying the powers that be
The boldness of her presence pumps fire into his veins
The canals boil absolute war for her
Alien as he may be
Beauty is her business
Feed her appetite for affection
And drown in undying cream
Scream thunder
Play with lightning
Hold hands on the horizon
And **** the cosmos for a crush
Feb 27, 2015
Feb 27, 2015 at 9:47 AM UTC
It happened again. The vulture came and perched on the sill.
But this time, unlike all the other times, it pecked on our windowpane. I unbolted the lid, lifted the frame, and offered some bread crumbs. It didn’t stir. I scattered the morsel on its feet, which it picked like fallen friends.
Aside from this long deserted corridor and abandonment lingering on my exhausted underwear, I wonder what I would have for breakfast.
I half expected that the stars would be reborn after its embers had disembarked. Like a dying flame on the grate, every night when you stir the coal and feed me with lies. In your flicker I have placed my heart, and let my flesh, my bones, my thoughts, be extinguished by its tongue. Only to be molded again, like months, like years, like centuries of false promises and interminable greed. All going on, forever.
And today, the sun had burnt itself into cinders. The ashes is everywhere. On our bedcover where we set the world aside and built an new one. On the wall which witnessed those infinite hours we had, those minutes when my bounty was as boundless as the sea, those seconds when you stared at me before you sleep. It lingers on the fabric of the clothes you last wore, before I heard the creaking steps of your departure, of which you were stationed in some distant place, of which you were told that your country was in grave danger, of which your patriotism is highly requested. Of which you complied. Of which you never returned.
You met another woman, I heard.
I hadn’t cleaned the room for ages. I desire to preserve your scent. Layers of sawdust are now resting on the looking glass, which had witnessed both our everlasting days and hideous crimes, which had shared my fear of you going, my anticipation of you coming back home, and my pain of learning that you were killed in the war, which the government had plotted in order to save the country’s dying economy.
You met another woman, I heard. And told her everything about me.
The vulture came everyday. I have known it for ages, had even fooled myself to befriended by it. The last time it perched on the sill was the last time I saw you, after you had received an order commanding you to join the military. Of which you cannot refuse. Of which, in this continent, we have no choice, but to abide.
And now, it’s here again. And had perched again.
The country requires the service of our eldest son, I heard.
The vulture told me.
Apr 18, 2013
Apr 18, 2013 at 11:00 PM UTC
My Lady dances. Angel bands
From Heaven’s balconies looking in
Admire legs, feet, neck, head, arms, hands
With torso slim.
My Lady sings; the doors of Heaven
Now unbolted, gaping wide
Permit escape the song celestial
Of inside.
Sep 18, 2014
Sep 18, 2014 at 8:32 AM UTC
You have seen as
many winters as I
have known days,
and my body still
coils under frigid
beads of weather,
while yours is an
unbolted entrance
to planes touched
and surfaces seen
by many seasons
my caress cannot
compare to, now.
Aug 14, 2012
Aug 14, 2012 at 3:08 PM UTC
He unbolted the locks
and untied my restraints,
which left painful bruises
and permanent marks.
I could barely gather up
the strength to stand up
and make it to the door.
Then when I tried my
legs gave out and I fell
right on to the floor.
As weak as a lamb
that can't hold the
weight of it's own wool.
He told me the shackles
I've worn were years ago
outgrown.
There is a new pair
somewhere that I must fit into.
I listened because being in
a cage was all I ever knew.
Jul 13, 2018
Jul 13, 2018 at 10:11 AM UTC
She shuffled her feet uncomfortably as glowing cracks of light appeared below her feet.
The veins of light expanded and engulfed the darkness, evaporating the stale, swampy water from her field of unbolted flowers.
A million suns rose and cast their revealing light on the shadows in her mind.
She saw the billions of galaxies surrounding her trapped inside electric graymatter.
Spilling out into sound and vision. To be shared and admired.
She wanted to grow her own oak tree, a mighty one, with branches to offer birds and shimmering gray leaves to kiss the summer and suffice to the winter.
Driving her roots into the soil she noticed it was salted.
So she jumped into the ocean and lay down on her back and became an island with azure fields.
"My bones can be a house for the fish" was her final sigh as she gazed into past ancient light.
Apr 29, 2015
Apr 29, 2015 at 2:49 AM UTC
This is my quod of secrets untold.
An ode to my heart rived by memories of old.
Now the moment calls for me to finally write,
The dubiousness of the quirks I spite.
It was the height within the octave of the decade,
When my ticker suddenly strayed.
I got caught in an eros I deemed true,
An instant juncture that I hadn't got a clue.
That wight I stumbled across with was amiable and vigorous.
Who ventured to garner my sentiments which made me ambiguous.
Who intoned some hymns with gracious prance,
Hoping to hook my regards with a chance.
I unbolted my heart to let that wight in,
Layed my cards and hopes in all that could have been.
I deduced it was something I could keep.
So I quashed my uncertainties and took the leap.
But I never knew until it was too late,
The risk had passed, I fancied the ardor I thought was sincere and great.
Myself waned in those words felt and spoken.
Never anticipated my heart and innocence would be broken.
If only there's another shot unused to tweak my adjudications,
I would permute them without hesitation.
If that would be the scheme to liberate my heart,
I would partake in all of its parts.
Of all the things time can tell,
Above is the list I unconsciously dwell.
It may be so dense in pushing them off the cliff,
but these are the questions I start with "what if".
Dec 11, 2017
Dec 11, 2017 at 10:35 PM UTC
Early morning
It was in the early morning, blackbird song and
long wet grass, shuffling through making trails in dew
In the early mornings of my life.
Something of magic in the sun slanting
through wet dripping branches,
pearls of water drops in spidery webs enchaining
blade to blade in the long wet grass.
It was in the early morning rising from warm sheets
when hearing that cuckoo summons from
far distant woods, calling , welcoming me forth
into the dewy day, doors unbolted, stepping from within
dark walls, shadowed kitchens, cold and stony floor.
Stepping forth and catching at my heart.
They were.
Sun’s rays, dewy grass, pearls of water drops.
Feb 10, 2018
Feb 10, 2018 at 6:48 AM UTC
Memories, few I have now.
Which is better, if you think how?
I do not think it was planned.
I pray it was never intended,
I hope it was destined.
I would love to believe,
that it was a bad timing.
A result of mixed up,
wrongly fused confusion.
I knew from the beginning,
or should I say from the ending.
This love of mine won’t work out.
And so you left.
I burned out.
And you couldn't even see the damage.
My hot tears scaling down and leaving scars on my skin.
The noise that your absence left behind.
The clutter, the mess, the chaos and the scrapes
and the caramel taste
of the days gone by.
You rejected me.
I rejected me.
Until, I was a claustrophobe
I couldn't breathe.
But, then I cracked open.
And light seared through my aching, contused soul.
I stitched my unbolted ends.
But the flowing thread faltered.
I erupted.
I detonated.
Leaving myself weak and disrupted.
So, I laid in the sun and I allowed.
The wind, the storm, the rain came,
and I weathered whatever they gave.
I stayed open and empty.
And finally opened my eyes.
I discovered, you ruined us
but you hadn't ruined me.
I was glistening, glittering, shimmering and glowing.
My aching soul that was burnt and pressurized
had now, crystallized.
Dear, you whisked away the love.
But, you left behind a diamond.
So, thank you.
© TanyaC. 2015.
Jan 8, 2015
Jan 8, 2015 at 2:29 AM UTC
It was in the early morning, blackbird song and
long wet grass, shuffling through making trails in dew
In the early mornings of my life.
Something of magic in the sun slanting
through wet dripping branches,
pearls of water drops in spidery webs enchaining
blade to blade in the long wet grass.
It was in the early morning rising from warm sheets
when hearing that cuckoo summons from
far distant woods, calling , welcoming me forth
into the dewy day, doors unbolted, stepping from within
dark walls, shadowed kitchens, cold and stony floor.
Stepping forth and catching at my heart.
They were.
Sun’s rays, dewy grass, pearls of water drops.
Mar 3, 2018
Mar 3, 2018 at 2:05 PM UTC
*To stand at the breakers , at the whim of -
warm tidewaters , cleansed in the saline , spume -
chemistry , yearning to deliver the ghost imperishability
Physicality's iron manacles unbolted*
May 14, 2016
May 14, 2016 at 8:20 PM UTC
a cup transparent, a sight, a reflection
which one diverts like unbolted frames
in the air
a serene dawn will arrive
this vision is in a kaleidoscope lately
heat in sheets goes unfelt
this fear, it expands and loses, drowns and rests
a serene dawn will arrive
my serene dawn will
heat in sheets goes unfelt
until a pair of eyes out of the grey
pull confidence towards it
this juvenile center won't delay
it waltzes, forces me to dwell on
you're the brightest sun, the brightest shadow
it leads to me being in awe of you
-c.j.
Mar 16, 2016
Mar 16, 2016 at 10:28 PM UTC
Slowly
Unbolted,
An aperture
Inside.
Mind.
A rift
Settles
In.
There is
No measure
Of seconds,
Or hours.
Time.
Finding
Reassurance
In
What billboards
Display
As
Happiness.
Everywhere,
Every time.
Running, running, running;
You can't leave this world.
Behind.
Feeding,
So blind.
Constantly
Monitoring
Others.
Lives.
Judging blindly;
To take a glance
In the mirror.
Sometimes.
Knowing
It's a
Far
Cry
From
Circumstances.
Here.
Is that what
Brings
Us closer
To finding
What we
Seek?
Displayed
In the form of
Material
And Physical
Things...
Nothing in
This
World,
Can
Satiate.
This aperture.
See.
Aug 26, 2018
Aug 26, 2018 at 11:20 PM UTC
Breathing in the cold showers
As I glared sky's divine diamonds
The stormy weather unbolted
The windows and the carpets
I gazed at the adjacent apartment
A solitary lady devoid of content
Struggling in stormy weather
Sobbing and weeping altogether
How surreal was it!
A lady with power and pelf
How devastating was it!
A lady trapped only in herself
A lady with brain and brawn
She wasn't contented and that was all
She might be cursed or sinned
Or was an accused
How her luxurious leisure life
Left her impossible to strive
Treasure may be her best companion
Till the very end
What a great pity was it!
She was well- off but what use was of money
When her boat of life was so heavy
With entertainment stuff unworthy
The boat is continuously drowning
Slowly and steadily
Someone warn her please....
Feb 28, 2018
Feb 28, 2018 at 10:28 AM UTC