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"stiffens" poems
I. the emperor sleeps in a palace of porphyry which was a million years building he takes the air in a howdah of jasper beneath saffron umbrellas upon an elephant twelve foot high behind whose ear sits always a crowned king twir- ling an ankus of ebony the fountains of the emperor’s palace run sunlight and moonlight and the emperor’s elephant is a thousand years old the harem of the emperor is carpeted with gold cloth from the ceiling(one diamond timid with nesting incense) fifty marble pillars slipped from immeasurable height,fall,fifty,silent in the incense is tangled a cool moon there are thrice-three-hundred doors carven of chalcedony and before every door a naked ****** watches on their heads turbans of a hundred colours in their hands scimitars like windy torches each is blacker than oblivion the ladies of the emperor’s harem are queens of all the earth and the rings upon their hands are from mines a mile deep but the body of the queen of queens is more transparent than water,she is softer than birds 2. when the emperor is very amorous he reclines upon the couch of couches and beckons with the little finger of his left hand then the thrice-three-hundredth door is opened by the tallest ****** and the queen of queens comes forth ankles musical with large pearls kingdoms in her ears at the feet of the emperor a cithern- player squats with quiveringgold body behind the emperor ten elected warriors with bodies of lazy jade and twitching eyelids finger their unquiet spears the queen of queens is dancing her subtle body weaving insinuating upon the gold cloth incessantly creates patterns of sudden lust her stealing body ex- pending gathering pouring upon itself stiffenS to a white thorn of desire the taut neck of the citharede wags in the dust the ghastly warriors amber with lust breathe together the emperor,exerting himself among his pillows throws jewels at the queen of queens and white money upon her nakedness he nods and all depart through the bruised air aflutter with pearls 3. they are alone he beckons,she rises she stands a moment in the passion of the fifty pillars listening while the queens of all the earth writhe upon deep rugs
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11.2k
The Emperor
I. the emperor sleeps in a palace of porphyry which was a million years building he takes the air in a howdah of jasper beneath saffron umbrellas upon an elephant twelve foot high behind whose ear sits always a crowned king twir- ling an ankus of ebony the fountains of the emperor’s palace run sunlight and moonlight and the emperor’s elephant is a thousand years old the harem of the emperor is carpeted with gold cloth from the ceiling(one diamond timid with nesting incense) fifty marble pillars slipped from immeasurable height,fall,fifty,silent in the incense is tangled a cool moon there are thrice-three-hundred doors carven of chalcedony and before every door a naked ****** watches on their heads turbans of a hundred colours in their hands scimitars like windy torches each is blacker than oblivion the ladies of the emperor’s harem are queens of all the earth and the rings upon their hands are from mines a mile deep but the body of the queen of queens is more transparent than water,she is softer than birds 2. when the emperor is very amorous he reclines upon the couch of couches and beckons with the little finger of his left hand then the thrice-three-hundredth door is opened by the tallest ****** and the queen of queens comes forth ankles musical with large pearls kingdoms in her ears at the feet of the emperor a cithern- player squats with quiveringgold body behind the emperor ten elected warriors with bodies of lazy jade and twitching eyelids finger their unquiet spears the queen of queens is dancing her subtle body weaving insinuating upon the gold cloth incessantly creates patterns of sudden lust her stealing body ex- pending gathering pouring upon itself stiffenS to a white thorn of desire the taut neck of the citharede wags in the dust the ghastly warriors amber with lust breathe together the emperor,exerting himself among his pillows throws jewels at the queen of queens and white money upon her nakedness he nods and all depart through the bruised air aflutter with pearls 3. they are alone he beckons,she rises she stands a moment in the passion of the fifty pillars listening while the queens of all the earth writhe upon deep rugs
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119
the sounds are there, they come through walls right around the corner they're not visual, they're miserable and in need they're equal opportunity exhibitionists lovers of a family get together, taking everything in parasitic and aware, destitute and stuck but they're also there at the wrong time the wrong time for the person who's alone the wrong time for a person who's disconnected because they want to be enjoying peace and quiet alone by themselves in an old house with summer outside making its noises, crickets trees rustling under a jeweled sky, the pinnacle of up high breathing in the home air of cannibus, lotion and food being disturbed is far from a thought, but unavoidable simultaneously because the house has a strange history the basement floods, and the machinery kicks in the mind ponders as the constellations wander the nights grow and shrink, the body is dry, bone dry the shower is turned on, soap, shampoo lost in the mind on autopilot until the spine stiffens its without a doubt that I'm not alone now a minute ago i was the master of this house a minute ago I was naked in the hallway, smoking a cigar now I've been usurped and I just want to barricade myself in this house that I've live in for 15 years, now i beg for permission to stay just one more night I beg because how could I possibly fight It's my conscious or the pontius pilate I hope it's the former, because if not, blowout the pilot light There's little hope for re-ignition or stellar recognition
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Mar 29, 2012
Mar 29, 2012 at 2:30 PM UTC
relaxing shower?
the sounds are there, they come through walls right around the corner they're not visual, they're miserable and in need they're equal opportunity exhibitionists lovers of a family get together, taking everything in parasitic and aware, destitute and stuck but they're also there at the wrong time the wrong time for the person who's alone the wrong time for a person who's disconnected because they want to be enjoying peace and quiet alone by themselves in an old house with summer outside making its noises, crickets trees rustling under a jeweled sky, the pinnacle of up high breathing in the home air of cannibus, lotion and food being disturbed is far from a thought, but unavoidable simultaneously because the house has a strange history the basement floods, and the machinery kicks in the mind ponders as the constellations wander the nights grow and shrink, the body is dry, bone dry the shower is turned on, soap, shampoo lost in the mind on autopilot until the spine stiffens its without a doubt that I'm not alone now a minute ago i was the master of this house a minute ago I was naked in the hallway, smoking a cigar now I've been usurped and I just want to barricade myself in this house that I've live in for 15 years, now i beg for permission to stay just one more night I beg because how could I possibly fight It's my conscious or the pontius pilate I hope it's the former, because if not, blowout the pilot light There's little hope for re-ignition or stellar recognition
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34
The woman is perfected Her dead Body wears the smile of accomplishment, The illusion of a Greek necessity Flows in the scrolls of her toga, Her bare Feet seem to be saying: We have come so far, it is over. Each dead child coiled, a white serpent, One at each little Pitcher of milk, now empty She has folded Them back into her body as petals Of a rose close when the garden Stiffens and odors bleed From the sweet, deep throats of the night flower. The moon has nothing to be sad about, Staring from her hood of bone. She is used to this sort of thing. Her blacks crackle and drag.
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6.4k
Edge
I feel at home in the liminal        in the space inbetween, between past, future, reality       fantasy, this, that.   In the liminal, the past and         future lap around me, demanding waves that climb      high and share their spray. The salt water clings to my          hair, stiffens it like straw and I stay, ungrowing in              the liminal. I live between thresholds             on the threshold and sometimes the tension          tugs and tears and rips my fingernails, my hair                my skin. Thresholds are supposed             to hurt, to push, to compel but it’s where I rest and               make my home. The liminal does not rip me apart as it should. It’s hollow in the liminal             a void that digs my insides out. It’s a cave in there                 walls of apathy and dread. My mind grows in on                   itself and I live in it, where it plays in the                    liminal. It cannot survive                          beyond the threshold so I stay in the house                   where the windows are clear and the doors                      are unlocked. Nothing is keeping me in but                        myself. I feel at home in                            the liminal, where the tensions hurt and erode                              but it’s safe here, or safe enough                               in the space inbetween. I fear the sea and the tides so I stay on the shore. It hurts but not as much as it should.
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Sep 25, 2016
Sep 25, 2016 at 6:35 PM UTC
- then on the shore
I feel at home in the liminal        in the space inbetween, between past, future, reality       fantasy, this, that.   In the liminal, the past and         future lap around me, demanding waves that climb      high and share their spray. The salt water clings to my          hair, stiffens it like straw and I stay, ungrowing in              the liminal. I live between thresholds             on the threshold and sometimes the tension          tugs and tears and rips my fingernails, my hair                my skin. Thresholds are supposed             to hurt, to push, to compel but it’s where I rest and               make my home. The liminal does not rip me apart as it should. It’s hollow in the liminal             a void that digs my insides out. It’s a cave in there                 walls of apathy and dread. My mind grows in on                   itself and I live in it, where it plays in the                    liminal. It cannot survive                          beyond the threshold so I stay in the house                   where the windows are clear and the doors                      are unlocked. Nothing is keeping me in but                        myself. I feel at home in                            the liminal, where the tensions hurt and erode                              but it’s safe here, or safe enough                               in the space inbetween. I fear the sea and the tides so I stay on the shore. It hurts but not as much as it should.
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25
You sit in your chair, crazy lenses on your eyes As you perfect your perfect human disguise, Poking and prodding inside of my skull With ice picks and drills, never anything dull. My jaw is locked, and my tongue is now tied. “This won’t hurt a bit,” you tell me. You lied. I lay here, strapped down, for what feels like hours, As your assistant sits in the corner and glowers, And you slip me some music as if it’s all okay As blood rushes and gushes out, clear as day. The buzzing and shaking is all just too much, And I can’t stop my body from quaking at your touch. Quaking in fear that this will go horribly wrong, For I have already been trapped here far too long. A smile grows on your face as my heartbeat quickens, And you laugh as it gets louder, and as my body stiffens. Finally, days later, I’m released from your experiment, Only to find out, in six months, I’ll be back again.
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Dec 20, 2013
Dec 20, 2013 at 8:41 PM UTC
To the Dentist:
A smooth breeze brushes my face And stiffens my hands. Light burns the underside of bridges, While a lost train cries out, Screeching in lonely desperation. Joggers grate a sandy sidewalk And clouds wait low in the distance; Their coral hues almost blending      with the thick horizon. Planes crawl, carried in the glacier of the sky. All frozen into the portrait of today.
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Dec 21, 2011
Dec 21, 2011 at 9:45 PM UTC
Park Bench
337 I know a place where Summer strives With such a practised Frost— She—each year—leads her Daisies back— Recording briefly—”Lost”— But when the South Wind stirs the Pools And struggles in the lanes— Her Heart misgives Her, for Her Vow— And she pours soft Refrains Into the lap of Adamant— And spices—and the Dew— That stiffens quietly to Quartz— Upon her Amber Shoe—
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I know a place where Summer strives
prepared for any kind of fight; rifle, helmet, knife, even glaring teeth she comes at me like I'm a hive of bees but who can blame her, after all, who's really adequately prepared to handle me she only cuts shallow and jabs, never stabs for the heart unlike me, she won't **** unsuited to play that part she's a survivor, she heals, I'm a comet in it's one bright radiance before breaking apart anxiety makes you shudder like a dump truck coming down a bumpy street depression dictates who you call, when you work, what you eat if you're not bipolar then i'm afraid the three of us will probably never meet punching clinched fists through doors is a cheap circus trick but taking out the anger is dangerous without something to hit because it pours it up, tries to drink itself down, and drowns everything around it my remorse stiffens me in bed next to her sleepless I wear the darkness, rigamortis and black suit I feel my poison wilt her, bend her stems, dull her colors, shrink her roots i have burned all the wood in her pile just getting started a fire the size of my selfish pursuits carrying sandbags roped onto me one parent and sibling at a time dragging the chains of days barely survived still hooked into my skin like the other memories of their kind I stall her pace, hold her back, make her trudge uphill, I make her climb but her undaunting patience somehow persists in her, in me: still, calm waters sublime She comes at me like I'm a hive of bees prepared for any king of fight only wanting to save me, to heal me, to give sleep back to my nights bread for it, I show teeth and cut for blood and she continues to be the definition of grace in my life
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Apr 26, 2012
Apr 26, 2012 at 1:12 PM UTC
HORNET
prepared for any kind of fight; rifle, helmet, knife, even glaring teeth she comes at me like I'm a hive of bees but who can blame her, after all, who's really adequately prepared to handle me she only cuts shallow and jabs, never stabs for the heart unlike me, she won't **** unsuited to play that part she's a survivor, she heals, I'm a comet in it's one bright radiance before breaking apart anxiety makes you shudder like a dump truck coming down a bumpy street depression dictates who you call, when you work, what you eat if you're not bipolar then i'm afraid the three of us will probably never meet punching clinched fists through doors is a cheap circus trick but taking out the anger is dangerous without something to hit because it pours it up, tries to drink itself down, and drowns everything around it my remorse stiffens me in bed next to her sleepless I wear the darkness, rigamortis and black suit I feel my poison wilt her, bend her stems, dull her colors, shrink her roots i have burned all the wood in her pile just getting started a fire the size of my selfish pursuits carrying sandbags roped onto me one parent and sibling at a time dragging the chains of days barely survived still hooked into my skin like the other memories of their kind I stall her pace, hold her back, make her trudge uphill, I make her climb but her undaunting patience somehow persists in her, in me: still, calm waters sublime She comes at me like I'm a hive of bees prepared for any king of fight only wanting to save me, to heal me, to give sleep back to my nights bread for it, I show teeth and cut for blood and she continues to be the definition of grace in my life
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22
Recently it seems every time we talk our cacophonous voices don't sing. The harmony's off-- lost it's charming ring. The tye-dye mind's eye melody is mellowing into a gray spring. And I'm wondering why? But... I think I know. Only asked cause I was hopin' you might hum some other musical notes, ones that won't turn this song into a black swan dive forced to call the huntin' dogs to track back to a time where you and I laughed freely. But there's this feeling that this is how your other he must have felt while you and me were undoing our belts-- yelling & screaming as my parents were sleeping upstairs above-- we played each other like saxophones to this grand Nirvana relaxed crescendo! But as this poem progresses the tempo stiffens--     your voice lessens-- as the harmony's off-key and the melody's riff softens. It's not hitting me hard like a gong- feels like two people singing different lyrics into the same microphone. Someone with synesthesia can see our colorful speech atrophy instead of pirouetting in turquoise dreams. If that sounds harsh, sorry, that's the reality I perceive-- we don't want each other to leave, But our avoidance of labeling what we are also established what we weren't and now this playful...thing? we had feels like a breaking carafe as it hits the floor. I want to continue writing you more poems and songs but it's hard when the harmony's off-key and losing it's charm.    This new lentando^ tempo's like a left arm going numb. I want to keep composing but it feels like water instead of kerosine pouring on the fire that was inspiring as this mournful melody dilates throughout my being.
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Feb 12, 2012
Feb 12, 2012 at 12:37 AM UTC
Pouring water on the music
Recently it seems every time we talk our cacophonous voices don't sing. The harmony's off-- lost it's charming ring. The tye-dye mind's eye melody is mellowing into a gray spring. And I'm wondering why? But... I think I know. Only asked cause I was hopin' you might hum some other musical notes, ones that won't turn this song into a black swan dive forced to call the huntin' dogs to track back to a time where you and I laughed freely. But there's this feeling that this is how your other he must have felt while you and me were undoing our belts-- yelling & screaming as my parents were sleeping upstairs above-- we played each other like saxophones to this grand Nirvana relaxed crescendo! But as this poem progresses the tempo stiffens--     your voice lessens-- as the harmony's off-key and the melody's riff softens. It's not hitting me hard like a gong- feels like two people singing different lyrics into the same microphone. Someone with synesthesia can see our colorful speech atrophy instead of pirouetting in turquoise dreams. If that sounds harsh, sorry, that's the reality I perceive-- we don't want each other to leave, But our avoidance of labeling what we are also established what we weren't and now this playful...thing? we had feels like a breaking carafe as it hits the floor. I want to continue writing you more poems and songs but it's hard when the harmony's off-key and losing it's charm.    This new lentando^ tempo's like a left arm going numb. I want to keep composing but it feels like water instead of kerosine pouring on the fire that was inspiring as this mournful melody dilates throughout my being.
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52
Crimson is the slow smolder of the cigar end I hold, Gray is the ash that stiffens and covers all silent the fire. (A great man I know is dead and while he lies in his coffin a gone flame I sit here in cumbering shadows and smoke and watch my thoughts come and go.)
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1.5k
Crimson
It is noontime, Senlin says. The sky is brilliant Above a green and dreaming hill. I lay my trowel down. The pool is cloudless, The grass, the wall, the peach-tree, all are still. It appears to me that I am one with these: A hill, upon whose back are a wall and trees. It is noontime: all seems still Upon this green and flowering hill. Yet suddenly out of nowhere in the sky, A cloud comes whirling, and flings A lazily coiled vortex of shade on the hill. It crosses the hill, and a bird in the peach-tree sings. Amazing! Is there a change? The hill seems somehow strange. It is noontime. And in the tree The leaves are delicately disturbed Where the bird descends invisibly. It is noontime. And in the pool The sky is blue and cool. Yet suddenly out of nowhere, Something flings itself at the hill, Tears with claws at the earth, Lunges and hisses and softly recoils, Crashing against the green. The peach-tree braces itself, the pool is frightened, The grass-blades quiver, the bird is still; The wall silently struggles against the sunlight; A terror stiffens the hill. The trees turn rigidly, to face Something that circles with slow pace: The blue pool seems to shrink From something that slides above its brink. What struggle is this, ferocious and still-- What war in sunlight on this hill? What is it creeping to dart Like a knife-blade at my heart? It is noontime, Senlin says, and all is tranquil: The brilliant sky burns over a greenbright earth. The peach-tree dreams in the sun, the wall is contented. A bird in the peach-leaves, moving from sun to shadow, Phrases again his unremembering mirth, His lazily beautiful, foolish, mechanical mirth.
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1.5k
Senlin, A Biography: Part 02: His Futile Preoccupations - 07
It is noontime, Senlin says. The sky is brilliant Above a green and dreaming hill. I lay my trowel down. The pool is cloudless, The grass, the wall, the peach-tree, all are still. It appears to me that I am one with these: A hill, upon whose back are a wall and trees. It is noontime: all seems still Upon this green and flowering hill. Yet suddenly out of nowhere in the sky, A cloud comes whirling, and flings A lazily coiled vortex of shade on the hill. It crosses the hill, and a bird in the peach-tree sings. Amazing! Is there a change? The hill seems somehow strange. It is noontime. And in the tree The leaves are delicately disturbed Where the bird descends invisibly. It is noontime. And in the pool The sky is blue and cool. Yet suddenly out of nowhere, Something flings itself at the hill, Tears with claws at the earth, Lunges and hisses and softly recoils, Crashing against the green. The peach-tree braces itself, the pool is frightened, The grass-blades quiver, the bird is still; The wall silently struggles against the sunlight; A terror stiffens the hill. The trees turn rigidly, to face Something that circles with slow pace: The blue pool seems to shrink From something that slides above its brink. What struggle is this, ferocious and still-- What war in sunlight on this hill? What is it creeping to dart Like a knife-blade at my heart? It is noontime, Senlin says, and all is tranquil: The brilliant sky burns over a greenbright earth. The peach-tree dreams in the sun, the wall is contented. A bird in the peach-leaves, moving from sun to shadow, Phrases again his unremembering mirth, His lazily beautiful, foolish, mechanical mirth.
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42
There will be no better days there were no bad days there were just so many days one after another and another and another and there will be unendingly more because this is never done… …each day is a quantum string of moments shimmering with meter, rhythm and rhyme if you listen moments make days of music... …but not loud more like angels whispering to each other just out of earshot there it is behind the other sounds traffic of door and automobile the hiss that kills the middle ear that makes hummingbirds hide… …so just listen; be present and the leaves will shiver in delight as the hawk cries and cat stiffens and you finish your latte and the barrista smiles at you and you… …remember childhood’s pets rain rivers on windowpanes through which you sat and watched cinemas of sunsets with those sweet, few others who understood this with you…
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Mar 11, 2012
Mar 11, 2012 at 11:14 AM UTC
SPRINGSTEEN WAS WRONG
puzzled by his brooding stare my heartbeat quickens static lingers in the air my posture stiffens I glance down at the table then back at his eyes to dancing fire— playful— a sensual surprise
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Sep 15, 2019
Sep 15, 2019 at 11:52 AM UTC
shy away
A smile that postered peace has cracks… Cracks that were covered that start to appear in times of great test, revealing its uncertainty, vulnerability, venom towards the thing that makes it fear… The smile is a signature of submission A stamp of insecurity Because to feel one must think, not temporarily fix, And to truly fix, one must insist on feeling - everything… A smile full of love, wisdom and youth never fails, but is thrown; blasted by veiled vast-disappointments, so that the face that holds it moistens with incredulity… But a smile that has no truth - When it starts to fray; stiffens easily - turns anodyne, bitter, frozen… Until the corpse behind that smile becomes clearer - and dictates death with no mirror… But beware… you can turn away all mirrors Yet in the darkness they will linger, slither, shimmer, hunt you down… There’s no escaping from the silent screams in your head, and eventually this realm of darkness will fully consume you - if you choose to take this path of lies, safety, silk teeth…etiquette… wrong rest.
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Sep 11, 2025
Sep 11, 2025 at 6:06 AM UTC
A smile that postered peace
I get scared to go to sleep. it means I’m leaving him. even though it’s all temporary, a fleeting darkness soon to pass, I still seem to struggle with the idea. when I close my eyes to rest, anxiety stiffens my bones. I crave his velvet voice, rocking me to sleep. it eases me. without his presence I cannot sleep, it’s nearly impossible. my soul has already connected to him, it needs his reassurance and shelter, to feel safe enough to fall to sleep. it takes so much energy for me to on my own, but with his voice it’s fast and it’s painless. because I know he’s right there, there to love and protect me, soothe my anxious heart. I need him to fall asleep, because I’m scared to do it on my own.
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Jan 20, 2019
Jan 20, 2019 at 12:26 AM UTC
reliance
He sneaks into my mind in slumber, emanating his fervor; awakening ***** to a frenzy, then whispering wet licks against me, I whimper deep within from his delicious torment; labials unveil for tongued ecstasy. Wallowing in my bedewed rose; he breathes its ambrosia with tongue & nose, stiffens each dip into garden of Eden, he knew I'd buck and tremble begging to feel him deeper; unearthing sighs and whispers. Touching me with promises; as I eye his sinewy masculinity, entwined limb to limb our desire erupts each plunge into paradise, wet, each teased withdrawal, inner muscles contract breathing him back in, rising to meet and sheath his firmness in unuttered realms of ecstasy. I whisper, need to swallow his measure; and sweet hotness trickles down throat, ********* my own wetness; he greedily suckles one at a time savoring its aftertaste, tonguing me to taste what he's enjoying, moving slowly in and out. And... I shudder from the sheer feel deeply embedded as his passion leaves me softly broken.
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Jun 29, 2012
Jun 29, 2012 at 3:37 AM UTC
Softly Broken
There's a better version of me,     up, ahead. And         he loves you in ways,         I can't figure ways, how-to. Yeah, you cried when he left you. And lonely,     you screamed. "But if he'd come back, then," you think, you'd believe it? The             roads don't just sparkle, every             time that you need it.             In the poem I write next,     we're both losing games. I press up then, catch on, turning to flames.                 In a grand winning gesture you burst into diamonds,                 before I can remind you                 about asking Simon.     In the distance, outside the door to your     basement, a crowd la-las the     Star-Spangled Banner. From the bulkhead and foundation, from "the Hobbit door," but, behind me, the Anthem goes silent.                             "Not home. Headed home. Stopped here. On-my-way." "Where would you rather be,                                             than right here, right now?" Ralph Wilson died a rich man, with a football stadium by which to remember him.             "Well then trace your depression to its sources."                         I'm afraid I'll never own the franchise. There's a father, presiding over a service,                 for both of us. It's the same priest, at every                     front of the room.                         Our parents are crying, regardless.                         I'd say somewhere, we sit, together,             sipping on the universe. This one                                                     or another.         If we don't, then they do. And they're having the best time.         But in our past,         the same one we share now,         a version of you stiffens. She glazes her eyes, sugary. Holds out her palm, fingers to the sky. And he matches her thumb first, before the four digits.                                     Her face bursts, all rosy. His turns away.
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Dec 27, 2016
Dec 27, 2016 at 10:08 AM UTC
Burst to Diamonds
There's a better version of me,     up, ahead. And         he loves you in ways,         I can't figure ways, how-to. Yeah, you cried when he left you. And lonely,     you screamed. "But if he'd come back, then," you think, you'd believe it? The             roads don't just sparkle, every             time that you need it.             In the poem I write next,     we're both losing games. I press up then, catch on, turning to flames.                 In a grand winning gesture you burst into diamonds,                 before I can remind you                 about asking Simon.     In the distance, outside the door to your     basement, a crowd la-las the     Star-Spangled Banner. From the bulkhead and foundation, from "the Hobbit door," but, behind me, the Anthem goes silent.                             "Not home. Headed home. Stopped here. On-my-way." "Where would you rather be,                                             than right here, right now?" Ralph Wilson died a rich man, with a football stadium by which to remember him.             "Well then trace your depression to its sources."                         I'm afraid I'll never own the franchise. There's a father, presiding over a service,                 for both of us. It's the same priest, at every                     front of the room.                         Our parents are crying, regardless.                         I'd say somewhere, we sit, together,             sipping on the universe. This one                                                     or another.         If we don't, then they do. And they're having the best time.         But in our past,         the same one we share now,         a version of you stiffens. She glazes her eyes, sugary. Holds out her palm, fingers to the sky. And he matches her thumb first, before the four digits.                                     Her face bursts, all rosy. His turns away.
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61
Feeling a pressure on your chest. On your heart. As if someone is pushing in and they won't stop. The pressure becomes more intense. Your whole chest is hard. It stiffens, it's tight. The pressure deepens. The hands that were once pressing down on you are now around your neck. You're trying to breathe but every breath you take ***** the lightness out of you. Breathing makes it worse. It means you're here but just barely holding on.
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Oct 26, 2014
Oct 26, 2014 at 3:30 PM UTC
Anxiety
He feels something is wrong. even while he sleeps a distance he cannot cross when his eyes are closed but open when her body lies beside him yet never within his reach. He can feel her sadness through him,
 while her silence grows heavy. 
He doesn’t know what to do
 with hands she will not hold, 
with lips that turn away,
 with a heart that stiffens at his touch. At night he hears the whispers when she thinks that he is dreaming,
 her secret sighs when she believes he’s gone. and the hidden lump beneath them. As small as a secret, but sharp as a thorn, a toy she turns to 
where his love cannot follow. Why not him?
 Why not the man who longs 
to give her everything?
 He doesn’t understand.
 why she cannot bear his touch. She tends to herself in silence,
 while he lies awake pretending to sleep aching over a love
 and lust he cannot mend.
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Aug 30, 2025
Aug 30, 2025 at 12:54 AM UTC
The Prince and the Pea
dismember                         the jerking flesh of my heart nervous excrement the manner your head rattles when i lunge at you this room stiffens with ****                     running our corpses thru the flame the gummy dark muffle day-to-night                    pinball wisdom of creatures                                                           below the floor cactus salad         me you and our malady
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May 19, 2025
May 19, 2025 at 5:34 PM UTC
d i s m e m b e r 3
The day was ghostly pale on which this tragic tale unfolds The wind blew icy gasps of breath on crimson leaves of gold What eerie silence sings among the blackened air so weary What anticipation grows in frozen ground so dreary From a sky of slate grey wonder No weeping rain to cry On heart heavy fog did all time wait For the little girl to die The charcoal paint upon her eyes leaks down her face of white Her heart pours pain from scarlet lips It aches this mournful night The time ticks by Bleeds aches from mortal wounds inside Until her eyes of blue run dry Until at last her soul is bare Exists no hopeful song to care At last she sees through drowning eyes The melody of doleful sighs From somewhere screams a blade of magic To end this life of love so tragic At last she knows what she must do To **** these withered pearls of rue Upon an ancient oaken desk A melancholy knife does rest And through two bleeding eyes of grief The metal cursed with blessed relief Lays waiting like some treasured key The one last chance to set her free No longer the girl in candlelight dim Would weep for her lost thoughts of him No longer would she endure the pain That worsened with each dying rain No longer would she have to stay To bear her heart for one more day And never had she felt such bliss When thinking what joy would be this For the day was ghostly pale outside And she was tired of having to hide Then once more the clock did chime She hears it for the one last time For a moment it pounds inside her ears She stiffens with her deadly fears Her fingers wrap around the knife The stone cold steel to take her life She stabs it deep into her heart The last pain felt from the world she’ll part And then with shaking hands of bone The young girl dies there, all alone.
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Mar 20, 2013
Mar 20, 2013 at 3:04 AM UTC
A Beautiful Demise
The day was ghostly pale on which this tragic tale unfolds The wind blew icy gasps of breath on crimson leaves of gold What eerie silence sings among the blackened air so weary What anticipation grows in frozen ground so dreary From a sky of slate grey wonder No weeping rain to cry On heart heavy fog did all time wait For the little girl to die The charcoal paint upon her eyes leaks down her face of white Her heart pours pain from scarlet lips It aches this mournful night The time ticks by Bleeds aches from mortal wounds inside Until her eyes of blue run dry Until at last her soul is bare Exists no hopeful song to care At last she sees through drowning eyes The melody of doleful sighs From somewhere screams a blade of magic To end this life of love so tragic At last she knows what she must do To **** these withered pearls of rue Upon an ancient oaken desk A melancholy knife does rest And through two bleeding eyes of grief The metal cursed with blessed relief Lays waiting like some treasured key The one last chance to set her free No longer the girl in candlelight dim Would weep for her lost thoughts of him No longer would she endure the pain That worsened with each dying rain No longer would she have to stay To bear her heart for one more day And never had she felt such bliss When thinking what joy would be this For the day was ghostly pale outside And she was tired of having to hide Then once more the clock did chime She hears it for the one last time For a moment it pounds inside her ears She stiffens with her deadly fears Her fingers wrap around the knife The stone cold steel to take her life She stabs it deep into her heart The last pain felt from the world she’ll part And then with shaking hands of bone The young girl dies there, all alone.
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48
The woman is perfected She wears the smile of accomplishment, The illusion of a her Greek-necessity. Flows in the scrolls of her toga, Her bare feet seem to be saying, “We have come so far, Now it’s over.” Each new-born being coiled, Black auras, black all over One at each little pitcher of milk, Once empty, They’re poured out With enough knowledge From where they were fitted. She has folded it back Into her body as petals Of a rose close Her desire, her dream They’re all in hand! When the garden stiffens and odors bleed From the sweet, deep throats Of the night flower She’ll remain awake. The stars shall utter her name Staring from her hood of victory She’s used to this sort of thing But it’s the grandest as of now. (3/21/14 @xirlleelang)
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May 28, 2014
May 28, 2014 at 12:40 AM UTC
Perimeter’s Over
Time stirring in a sermon stiffens slowly. The Sun slips through the window’s edges, softly shaping foreign faces, peacefully broken away from the world by birds playing tag in greening trees, draped with skirts sewn from the Sun’s golden glow. Images black without the back of eyelids dreaming beyond our benches. Time set and solid, I get up and leave 100 closed eyes behind and walk into a church to see the same Sun’s beams trapped inside stain-glass. Frozen shards, holding dust, warm each red pew. I lay down in the emptiness of the seats, the silence of the hymns, absence of a pulpit, and sleep.
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May 2, 2011
May 2, 2011 at 10:45 PM UTC
Sleeping in class
Paper sharp cut, Slices deep, Painless initially, Blood bright red, Flows freely, Stings like nettle, Finger ******* sore, Bitter metallic, Tingles strangely, Japan flag tissue, Stiffens sore, Memory tricks, Taste pennies, Flashes of childhood.
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Dec 2, 2012
Dec 2, 2012 at 7:03 PM UTC
Pennies
The traveler swayed from side to side His bounty slung heavy on his shoulder His shadow long and eastward strewn An ambiguous gait and pallor His toes dragging to a straight-legged stomp His head heavy in thought and thirst He uncaps his flask to wet his mouth Almost falling to the ground face first His journey is long and his pace is quick For a while he rests on a stone He sets down his bag of merchandise Unaware he’s no longer alone A rustle in the bushes alerts his attention He stiffens and draws his blade An attack from the forest—a black hooded rogue A battle for his life is waged He dodges an arrow and avoids a knife He lunges with his faithful steel Slicing through air he draws first blood And snickers with a menacing leer A powerful kick sends him back This carnage will end in the mud A thunderous jump—ribs snap in their cage Gasping through grimace and blood His pace was quick but not quick enough To escape from his earthly fate For smite rained down like heaven’s hammer And punished his life of hate This ambush was long ago forecast When his soul morphed into black At first only slightly but then almost nightly As he engorged his poisoned sack Madness enveloped his meager soul And gnarled evil on his face The trophies he stole in a heap of haste Stirred dangerous men to give chase Now he gasped through spit and blood Finally paying his overdue arrears Falling from his clasp to the ground in a mess Were hundreds of severed ears
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Feb 28, 2011
Feb 28, 2011 at 5:15 PM UTC
The Traveler