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Lanox Nov 2015
Do make it clear if breakfast is included. If not, make a disclaimer: "I am in the belief that you coming over is good. But that somehow this twisted world resulted in someone twisted as me. Who although enjoys the company of someone like you at this hour, cannot accommodate you past sleep. That you can choose to either leave before I doze off, or that in the morning you will readily accept if I can only open the door out for you. You can make yourself coffee. But know that I am wary of being with awake people while I am asleep, as I think you can easily understand."

There are two types of people in the world: the foodies and the cranky ones. I do not intend to be the latter.

Do make sure you expect only as your place can allow. You cannot hope for me to clean up the eye makeup that heavy drinking had caused to drip down my face when what you have is but a cracked mirror and a broken sink. I cannot fix myself up amid your chaos. I would have to look the part. Act the part. Smell the part. You either want me to receive you messy or put you back up. And I know there aren't too many choices, but still. You gotta make one.

Do say only words that you will not choose to forget the next day. Do not make promises of more future promises. Do not paint images of love, kindness, and honesty when we both know our story will only last as long as this night. This is not a contest on who'll be more unforgettable. We both know why we're here in the first place. We both remember too much.

Do consider the possibility that a sleepover may include only sleeping beside each other, but that it does not mean "nothing happened." A conversation can **** me up just as much, perhaps even more, than the real thing. You cannot share to me a universe that you expect me to pretend not knowing the next morning. You cannot accuse me of meddling when you've told me a story of how umbrellas scare the crap out of you and so every time it rains, I remember you. And so every time it rains, I text you, "Where are you?" not in the possessive way others do, but simply to make sure you are somewhere dry and not dying.

Do smile at me the next time I see you, even if we both know we've tried to avoid each other. I, only because I felt you were trying to avoid me first. Even if bitterness starts welling up, please do not look away. You perhaps may have been a mistake, and I may have been yours as well, but we've never been followers of others' ideas of what constitute a tragedy. My love, our love may to them look ugly, but we've agreed their beautiful ***** anyway. Every time they tell me you like a pretty thing, I always think you are being sarcastic. And that only I could see your sardonic point.

[Beer break]

At heto naman ang mga bagay na sana'y 'di mo gawin.

Kung ipagpipilitan mo ang kwarto mo, sana'y siguraduhin mo na mas malinis ito kaysa sa akin. Na 'di ka nakatira sa bahay ng mga magulang mo (dahil maingay ako at matatanda na tayo) o wala kang ibang kasama (sa parehong kadahilanan). Kung tatluhan ang hanap mo't 'di mo naman nakayang sabihin na may ibang babae na pala sa'yong kama ay mas mainam pang makipaglimahan ka na lamang gamit ang iyong mga daliri, mahal.

Wag mo ipagsabayan ang pagkain at ako. Alak at ako, pwede. Ngunit kung ikaw yung tipo na pinagsasabayan ang sarap ng dila't kalamnan, bibigyan kita ng ibang numerong tatawagan. Tayo'y Pilipino't kapag pagkain ang mapag-usapan, kasali ang tuyo, bagoong, balut, at itlog na maalat, mahal ko, seryoso ka bang maihahalo mo ang mga isip-isip na'to sa klase ng almusal na binabalak mo? Je ne suis pas Francais. My kisses will not make you think of food.

Wag mo akong ikalia. 'Di ko ikakahiya anong oras man akong lumabas mula sa'yong tahanan, basta lamang 'wag kang sumalungat kung ang tanging bukambibig ay galing ako sa kanya. Kung ako'y matingnan at mapansin ang biyak-biyak kong puso ngunit bakit nga ba 'di magawang mapalitan, kapag ba'y sinabi kong ito'y dahil sa'yo sana'y 'wag itatwa't angkinin **** minsan kasi'y nabanggit mo na ako . . .

Kaya't kaibigan, 'wag naman masyadong pikon 'pag ika'y na-friendzone, kinakausap ka pa rin naman, diba? 'Wag mo sabihing tunay ngang mas nana-isin mo ang trahedyang dulot ng malisyang 'di nabantayan. 'Wag mo sanang isipin na ang bawat pagpakita ko ng kahinaan ay pagtatawag na bigyang ligaya ang katawan kung masid mo namang lungkot ang siyang nakapaglapit sa'ting dalawa. Walang paghihiwalay sa pagkakaibigan, at kung sasabihin **** wala na tayo'y ipagkakalat ko na minsan nga'y naging tayo, pumili ka.

At ang huli'y sana 'wag **** ipamimigay agad-agad ang sarili mo sa sinuman matapos sa'kin. Madali kang mahalin. Mabilis kang matutunang unawain. 'Di naman sa kita'y ina-angkin. Ang sa'kin lang ay sana'y 'wag **** pagsabayin ang lahat-lahat . . . ng dinarama. Hindi lahat handa na ika'y mahalin ng buong-buo, lalo pa't 'di isa-isa. Tuloy nagmimistulang halimaw sa ilalim ng katre, kahit sa katotohanan nama'y kapareho lang na minsan di'y naging musmos, kapwa walang alam, kapwa nangangapa, kapwa takot, ngunit patuloy pa ring sumusubok.

https://soundcloud.com/lanox-alfaro/the-dos-and-donts-of-1
I wrote this the night before hearing about the Paris attack. I thought of editing the French part out but decided to keep it, as a reminder to myself.
babydulle Apr 2014
When we have sleepovers, we do have pillow fights in our underwear.
In knickers and crop tops we beat the **** out of each other for fun.
And then we eat pizza.
A lot of pizza.
And then we cry over mean boys and boys who don’t love us back and girls who are confusing.
We talk about ***. About *** with our crushes. Whether *** would be fun outside behind bushes or inside on cushions.

We talk about ***.
I say how they don’t give us enough education on it in schools.
Everything I’ve learnt about *** and my body was from the internet. I was never taught what happened to girls when boys got ‘happy’, only ever the biological logistics.
Us girls were never told how we’d feel like we were on fire. Only that we had to wait until the water pipes had done their job before we even felt like the flames had been put out.
We were told to wait.
Wait until you’re older until you get another piercing.
Wait until the puppy fat has gone and then you’ll feel attractive.
Wait until the strange boy at the party puts his hand on your knee to find yourself worthy of another person’s touch.
Why did I never feel like my palms were enough?
My friend tells us in dim lights under the quilts that she’s never kissed a boy she was in love with.
And I realise I haven’t either.

We have thrown ourselves around like an unstable fairground ride.
But I have always hated the way rides make me feel sick and like I don’t know what I am doing.
These boys make me feel disorientated.
I should call them men now.
But I still think of him as the young kid I went to school with.
Leant over piano in-between classes and squinting until I told him to wear his glasses.
I see him every time I clamber off the helter skelter.
I tell my friends that every time I kiss a stranger, I just see his face in those distorted mirrors. I don’t want to play anymore.

We stay up until 5am.
She tells me she wants three kids; two girls and a boy.
And I tell her I want to get married abroad, get drunk on merry-go-rounds with him, and hold his hand through the haunted house because I’ve never been not scared of something.
Girls are always taught to be scared of something.

In the morning, we make pancakes.
Sit on the kitchen floor, listening to the old radio on the counter and the sound of rain thrashing down on the windows.
There is a safety in your best friends.
There is a safety in knowing you are all scared of something; together.
Lucy Ryan Jun 2015
wrap your arms
around her waist
her face
soft in sleep
white sheets
around you both
- like something brief
might change
skaldspiller Sep 2016
The danger of sleepovers is
I had gotten really good at sleeping alone,
I never missed arms around me
I was comfortable
sprawled out on my little bed (made for one)
with my freedom
I never let anyone stay
...
but now
I kind of wish you were here when I lay down
your arms wrapped around my waist
and now I don't wanna sleep alone
I want you with me...
Is that weird
Amy Irby Jul 2012
island summer heat
big backyards
shared by three families
with rambunctious kids
sundresses, sandals, swim trunks
a big mango tree and
a merry-go-round with red chipped paint
geckos and mud baths
"boy's got cooties!"
  
mid-west plains' dry, summer heat
Mr. Sun is our lamp well past 9:00pm
Dow St., a giant hill covered
in uniform houses, filled with the uniformed sacrificial
spinning wheels, acre-wide hide and seek
nintendo and donkey kong, fireflies in jars
front yard mulberry trees
pippy longstocking "lets' go into this 'cave' of vines"
poison-ivy
  
southern peninsula, humid, summer heat
above ground pools and trampolines
a red brick house; the first home
the first CD collection, Filipino food
THE PARK,
the sandbox lid drowning in the bayou
sleeping in guest rooms, sleepovers a sign of status
pelicans, ducks, fishing,
sleeping in the boat; camping on the beach
Being a Navy brat, my childhood was spread out over the world. The first stanza was during our time in Guam, the second Nebraska and the third Florida.
Sarina May 2013
There was nothing I was ever so ashamed of
that I dumped it in a river to drown,
but one time my best friend accidentally tossed my pink fishing pole
into the bayou when a spider dangled from the line.

We were eight, everything was wishy-washy
because she called herself a mulatto like it were an insult
and my older friends kept mentioning that my mom walked herself

to a liquor store very late at night
twelve-packs bruising her German-colored shoulder.
I did not tell them my father had hidden away her car keys.

Girls teased me and I still wanted to kiss their cheeks at goodbyes,
The Little Mermaid featured at our sleepovers
saying, “kiss the girl,” so I did
but we stopped talking when I bought my training bra,
it proved what was in my skirt, my lips could not touch them again.

You cannot kiss a girl if you are a girl,
even if Disney movies say it is okay because Mickie Mouse
has no ***** to be ashamed of though a wife of the opposite ***.

I learned important things until I turned ten
and Hurricane Katrina unraveled the bayou into my house
and I existed in four different classrooms in my fourth grade year
where nobody had enough time
to learn my name, much less the way it is spelled.

Now, in therapy, the certified insists
that I am a girl who kisses other girls because my mother
only put her lips on a bottle.

But maybe I wear striped dresses just because mold grew that
shape in my home on Camellia Street,
mud decorated the fallen refrigerator so it looked like
a cow some punk tipped over.
I just wish the sidewalk I use to rollerblade on hadn’t flooded.
silentwoods Aug 2018
Let’s go way back
To a simpler time.
To our very first chapter:
The summer we were nine.

You were too cool,
And I was too shy.
You didn’t really like me,
Sometimes you made me cry.

It didn’t take long
To outgrow that phase.
We developed a bond
In what seemed like two days.

From hiking adventures
To countless sleepovers,
We conquered the world
And saved snapping turtles.

When times became tough,
You knew just what to say.
My pain was your pain,
You made things okay.

You knew my whole heart;
All the grief, all the joys.
We shared endless phone calls
and complained about boys.

Fast forward to now:
We’re on year twenty-two.
Some things may have changed
But our friendship stayed true.

We’re secure on our own
But we’re stronger together.
I thank God for you,
You’re my best friend forever.
Jessica Hill Mar 2016
I still remember the day I met you
Like it was yesterday
You sat down at the same table as me
And I was too shy to have anything to say
But as time grew,  so did our friendship
Just 7 year old girls
Taking in the sweet smell of innocence
Then in between
There was some miscommunication
And a friendship was lost
Out of feelings that were mistaken
But a sleepover acted as fate
And gave us a second chance
I'll never forget the time you were too shy
And I made you dance
We ate pizza on the floor and
You were the first one to go to sleep
You snored during the movie and
That will always be a cherished memory
Fast forward 2 short months and
My childhood was gone
I'll never understand it
But God wanted you Home
When you're 10 years old
You think the sleepovers
Will last a lifetime
But those moments are only segments
That we overlook until hindsight
Now your memory lies in a picture of you
In a memorial frame
To me,  
You'll always be the girl
Who made me too shy
To have anything to say
In memory of Alexa Godfrey
Rest in Paradise Baby Girl
Danielle Shorr Mar 2015
Woman is a title that comes with too many consequences shoved into the spaces between each letter. I have worn it proudly, not fully understanding the heaviness it carries, or exactly what it means. I still don’t.

Summer camp teaches me how to shave my legs when my mother neglects to. I am eleven, with hair on my skin barely long enough to pull out when my bunkmates coach me on how to erase it. "Boys don't like girls with prickly bodies," my counselor tells me confidently. I soon understand that to be woman means to be bare, stripped, and clean, always. Being woman means catching the changes of your morphing body before anyone else can point them out.

I am raised to keep secrets. We call the parts of ourselves that we aren't supposed to talk about private. I learn to be silent in more ways than one.


Haley is my best friend. Together we uncover the mystery of womanhood untold. She loves a boy two years older than us and gives herself to him in his parked car outside her house during one of our many sleepovers. I listen as she confesses the details to my eager ears. We learn more about *** from each other than we do health class.  The information given out is too much and not enough at the same time. We are taught enough to do it, but not enough to ease our unknowingness.

Condoms are given out for free. Tampons are not.

Virginity was a concept we were told to maintain from early on. At 14 I want to get losing it over with so I do, with a boy two years older, in between his childhood sheets. I am high enough to blur the details, but not high enough to forget it happens.

I learn how to cauterize undesirable memory with substance, the way too many women do.

When a sophomore girl comes to school with a broken face, everyone is quiet. We all know about the fight, the pushing down the stairs, the bruising that swelled violently like her love for him. "I think he's even hotter now," I overhear someone say.

The first boy I ever love treats me like ****. I let him because that's how it works in the movies.

I love a straight girl with curly brown hair and a smile too much like summer. She kisses me and then tells me about whatever boy she is pursuing that week. It confuses me to no end.

Mia meets her first love when we are 17 and gives him all of her too soon. When he dumps her, I come over ready with a box of popsicles in hand.

We play with Polly Pockets well into our teenage years. The dolls live out dreams impossible for us to reach.

I realize vulnerability is not an option, but something we are born wearing.

A friend shows me how to keep my keys peeking through my knuckles at night. I hold them through scared fingers as I navigate the side streets necessary to get home.

Mom buys me glitter covered pepper spray, "because it's cute." I know her unsaid words and what she really means. "There are too many bad people in the world to not be cautious, you can never be too careful."

When a girl I don't know well is attacked in a back alley by strangers, we sit nervously the couch and talk about the terrifying reality, how bad we feel for her, and how awful it must be to go through something like that.

I call my best guy friend immediately after someone I know takes my body without permission. I explain the details to him of what happened, still shaking from the shock of it. I wait for his response, hoping for open arms ready to hold while I shatter. He sighs and says, "you should have been more careful." I don't counter. I shower three times in a row, tuck myself into the same bed where it happened, and pick up the cracked pieces of myself in the morning. I tell no one else after that.

**** is the punch line to too many jokes.
I don’t laugh.

In an anonymous thread, I read as people discuss the topic of ****** assault. My eyes lose count of how many times strangers say, "just because you regret it, doesn't mean it is ****." I have seen doubt ******* too many faces hearing the stories of survivors with dull eyes from telling theirs over and over again to people who will never believe them. Their truth is taken with a shot of uncertainty.
They ask, "Why survivor? Why not victim?"
They say, “It doesn’t **** you, you’re not a survivor.”
I want to answer that survival is a choice made in the aftermath of destruction, that we either chew our way through the broken glass or swallow it whole, letting it break us from the inside out. I want to say survival is not as simple as we didn’t die. Survival is consciously refusing not to.
Instead I say nothing.

I know girls with too many piercings and tattoos because they had run out of room on their small bodies to let out any more anger. I watch darkness fill their skin with its reminder, young girls who know pain all too well.

A man on the street calls out to me. I shake my head quietly because I'm afraid of the bomb my response could set off. I have seen too many ticking men explode for me to want to fight back.

I learn about abortion when I am too young to understand it, too self-centered at the time to try to imagine the fear of unwanted growing inside of her. I have grown to understand the importance of choice.

A guy tells me that if a woman has *** with more than five guys in her lifetime, she's a *****.

Someone I hook up with shares with me about how his friends audio record their girlfriends during ***. He laughs, I shudder.

"Guys don’t like it when.."  is a tip I hear almost daily.  

School dress codes mark my shoulders unholy, my shorts too miniscule. I am sent to the principal's office in 10th grade when I refuse to change into a top that doesn't show my lower back. I ask what my body did to have to learn this kind of shame. I am suspended for the rest of the day.

Beauty pageants teach me that perfect woman is exactly what I am not.

My ex boyfriend calls me a ****.

My other ex boyfriend calls me crazy. I’ve learned that crazy is synonymous with “she had an opinion that did not align with mine.”

In my college lecture we talk about the origins of hysteria, remembering how women in history had their voices twisted into insanity. I think about how often “calm down” is used as a modern-day-tranquilizer.

Us weekly tells me every week, in one too many advertisements, how to lose weight.

My campus paper posts an ad for breast augmentation deals. "Get spring break ready."

The size of my chest is too much a reflection of my brain’s capacity.

Being woman means too much in a language I do not fully understand. It is skin and bones, it is raw and blood, it is a mouth filled with words unsaid, it is fear and worry, it is an unspoken connection between us all, it is 75 cents to a dollar, less for those of color, it is censored body, it is *******, it is being too much to handle, it is being equated with less, it is we are the same but we are not treated so, it is we are human in a world we call man’s, it is we have been struggling under the waves for centuries, it is not drowning, it is still swimming, always
Do you remember begging our parents to let us be adults?
When our favorite thing to do was dress up and play make believe.
Drinking meant chocolate milk and artificial fruity drinks.
Getting wasted meant falling off your bike.
When the only pain we knew was stubbing a toe…
Or scraping our knees from the fall.
Getting high wasn’t a term where we blew smoke out of our mouths,
it was seeing who could jump or swing the highest.
When “taking one for the team” meant helping your teammates,
not making a girls night a little bit better.
When kissing was just kissing and you got cooties,
Not STDs and aids from going too far.
And the protection we wore,
was helmets on our heads to prevent concussions…
not a newborn.
When wearing makeup was fun,
and a way to express yourself…
Or wearing your favorite skirt made you feel cute,
not like a ****.
When we didn’t know what drugs were,
just knew that the creamy pink liquid made us feel better.
When boyfriends and girlfriends were described as,
“My friend thats a boy….”
“Or my girl……….. Friend.”
When sleepovers were strictly sleepovers,
not an excuse to get in bed with your best friend…
Who you recently discovered feelings for.
The only wars we knew were card games
And our worst enemies were our siblings.
Dad’s shoulders were our thrones and mum was our hero.
How about that time when we all wanted so badly to grow up?
Petra Jun 2019
Our sleepovers consisted
Of playing house and she insisted
That I be the boy
And she be the girl

My first kiss
Was unfinished
We were sent to bed
But not to sleep

We kissed under the blanket
And footsteps interrupted
Then light ambushed through the door
And shame came knocking

On Sundays Leviticus followed me home
Lived outside of my bedroom
And visited unannounced
Just to remind me that it existed
Ember Evanescent Dec 2014
Psychological issues?

Sure.

I've got plenty.

I don't know exactly when it started
But some time ages ago
During elementary school
I just felt so worthless
Like I was numb
I wanted to feel
But I didn't know how
And it wasn't a sharp pain
I would welcome a sharp pain
It was dull ache that wouldn't leave me
I froze in my own icy thoughts
Maybe it was the loneliness
Or all the things those girls said to me
Maybe it was the insults or the whispers
Or maybe it was just my twisted mind
But whatever the cause
I tried to **** myself
When I was just a little 11 year old girl
When some girls were still playing with Barbies in secret
I was secretly playing with knives and ropes
I would take that blade
And scratch a cut into my wooden headboard
One slit in the wood for every moment that I wanted to die
Because I was too young back then to even think of my wrist
That came later
A few years later
And still
There are days where I just feel so horrible and sad and broken
For absolutely zero reason
It doesn't make sense
Nothing bad is even happening
But I feel shattered
I spent a year feeling so. hollow.
So f!cking hollow
I felt like I couldn't breathe
Like I wasn't alive
I spent entire days
Not speaking
I still miss the cuts sometimes, honestly
I like my scars
Which sounds terrible
But I trace them with my fingernails absentmindedly some days
During the darker nights
It comforts me
Because even though I’m not going to cut myself ever again
I can jolt myself into remembering the pain
And it is a form of relief in itself
I don’t know
Not something I can explain
Is that depression?
Probably not though, I feel bad suggesting it in front of people who actually for sure have depression when I haven't been analyzed
But still, it's not impossible I guess

I spent 5 years
From grade 5 through to grade 9
Which is pretty **** young
Feeling fat
Hating my body
Hating myself
I can see my ribs but I still feel fat
It’s okay I can fix that
Eating a little less
Skip a meal
Just skip lunch
Just eat a tiny breakfast, no lunch
No breakfast, no lunch but it’s okay because I have a good dinner
I think I’m losing weight
Is it bad that I’m in grade 5 and thinking like this?
This is great
I think it’s working
I’m in grade 6 now
Maybe I won’t be worthless if I become skinny
I can still see my ribs
I could from the beginning
But I still feel fat
Okay, less dinner now
Hide it well
Let’s switch
No lunch, a little dinner and a bit of breakfast
Just enough to stay alive
Although how much to I really want to stay alive?
Fat.
Look at my legs
Look at their legs
My thighs God I hate my thighs
Eat less
Eat less and less
Until I’m basically surviving on snacks and just the beginnings of each meal
Just enough to take a few bites before they leave the room for a minute
Just long enough for me to throw away my food
But I don’t think I’m losing weight
I will never be enough
7th grade
Just a little less
Don’t tell any of them
Losing pounds
Check my reflection
I still feel fat
I try to be less so I can feel like I’m more
But does the number on the scale even matter anymore?
I’m promising and promising I ate before I came
But these pretty little lies are driving even me insane
And they can’t see through my smile they can’t figure it out
I’m slowly killing myself
From the inside out
Pretty soon, “I don’t feel well” is my favorite phrase and an everyday thing
A justification for my small portions that I don’t finish
It’s true though
I don’t feel well
I feel worthless.
It continues into 8th and 9th grade
Worse and worse
Looking up the calories of different food
Surviving on water and tea
Just enough food to stay alive
Though I really don’t care that much about my own survival, really
Is that anorexia nervosa?
I doubt it
But it’s a possibility I guess

I look in the mirror
And I feel so f!cking ugly
I literally cannot find ONE thing I like about myself
I cannot leave the house without makeup
Because I am SO ashamed of my own face
I genuinely feel bad for the people who have to see my face
I cry sometimes, because I look in the mirror and see my own worthless hideousness
I remember that sleepover I was invited to with the popular girls and I wondered why
When I got locked in a closet, got soap sprayed in my mouth and locked outside in the freezing cold snow without pants on when I was just trying to change into my night clothes
That’s when I knew I had been invited just so they could torment me
I don’t like being the entertainment for the party
I tried to just go to sleep because if I called home I would look like a coward
And my mother who NEVER let me go to sleepovers would get to say “I told you so”
And when they thought I was asleep
But I wasn’t
I listened to them talk for a full hour
My eyes on the clock
My ears on their conversation
“Is she asleep”?
I didn’t know they were talking about me until I heard them mention my name
When they talked for a full f!cking hour
In detail
About why I was ugly
On what levels I was ugly
The degree of my ugliness
I didn’t cry
I didn’t sit up and tell them I could hear them
It would be too humiliating
I listened
And I know they are right
But now it’s getting bad
My face doesn’t even look human to me anymore
It looks like some sort of beastly troll’s face
It looks f!cking hideous
My mother is worried about me
Because I can’t even look myself in the mirror when I have no makeup on
Because I Freak. Out when it is suggested that I might have to be in public without hiding my ugly face in makeup
It literally affects my ability to function properly in everyday life.
The thing is, those girls said it
And they ALL agreed
So if I REALLY had dysmorphia
Then it would all be in my mind
And if they all agreed I was hideous
Then I must be
So how can it be imagined?
I don’t know
Anyway
My point is
I suppose
MAYBE
It is possible
I have dysmorphia

But
Depression
Anorexia Nervosa
Dysmorphia

Those possible diseases of the mind
I
Have multiple
Psychological issues

BUT OCD IS NOT F!CKING ONE OF THEM

How dare he suggest such a thing
Just because I
“Always seem to be working towards something”
Excuse me for not getting drunk and high and naked
Putting off work
Not caring about anything
It’s not OCD though
It’s just called going somewhere in life
Because I may as well
Since in my mind
I’m hopelessly lost
Sorry this is so long. Don't feel any obligation to actually read the whole thing it's more for me to get out some bad emotions.
Peeka Jul 2014
I wished on a star too
Skipped rocks, flew off the inner tube
Played capture the flag, hide and go seek
Summer camp and climbing trees.

Passing notes, amusement parks, sports awards
Just Dance, sleepovers, boogie boards
Tire swings, smores, shirley temples,
Neighborhood friends, trampolines... few troubles.

A shooting star passed,
Silent tornadoes of memories
Come, lets ponder the time machine.
Just a kid, or maybe an adult- I'm 18.

Cherish past experiences, live for your dreams.
Fenix Flight Mar 2015
Megan
my partner in crime
my bumble bee twin
my best friend

Best friends since second grade
that's.... what 15 years now? 16?
Sleepovers at eachothers homes
Pixie stick highs and slushy brain freezes
Trips to my grandmother's,
for a Harry Potter Marathon

Rocking out to Halestorm
Daughters of Darkness through and through
Foil art doodling and reading through the night
Did I mention the trip to Walmart?
ten at night just for a loaf of bread?

Screaming at eachother, throwing punches
Calling names so bad tears start to form
Saying we're through we're done mo more friendship
two minutes later laughing stupidly together

Our favorite place, Weedamo woods,
High Rock, queens of the world
I visit those memories in my dreams

I miss my soul sister my best friend for life
I miss being able to call you up and yell
"YO ***** come get me I need to talk."
You're still my bestie and you always will b
This separation don't forget is only temporary.

I'll move down there soon
and together we can rec havoc once more
until then please don't forget me
I know I haven't forgotten you.
(To my best friend who I have known since I was 7 years old. She is my soul sister)
eileen mcgreevy Sep 2010
I know this vampire Clarence,
He is a hippy vamp,
He never wears dark cloaks,
Or wanders like a *****.

This ghoul is non confomist,
His clothes are sunshine bright,
His fingernails are azure blue,
His favourite drink is sprite.

His blood comes from the blood banks,
He files his fangs twice weekly,
His friends are *** head hippies,
And , ******, he sleeps so sweetly.

He enjoys sleepovers with his girlie friends,
And loves to bathe in milk,
His coffin looks more like a scoobydoo van,
All covered with pink silk.

Im looking forward to halloween,
His parties are the best,
We boogie, all liquered up,
So next day, we can rest.
shaqila Dec 2013
Asians are identical; we all look the same to Western people
2. Asians have small eyes, sometimes a monolid and wear glasses
3. Asians have straight black hair
4. Asians are short, petite, whatever you want to call it
5. Asian women have small curves
6. Asian mums nag about posture
7. Asian parents want their daughters to dress conservatively and ladylike which means hair tied back and skirts to at least the knees
8. Asian mums thinks beauty items are unneccessary, saying "Stop wasting your time and money trying to look pretty and get studying!"
9. Asians have no fashion sense. A dress with runners? Sure. Crocs? Why not, they're comfortable.
10. Asians parents think fifteen is too young for a girl to be wearing high heels
11. Asian parents hate unnatural changes to appearance with exception to double eyelid surgery and tattooed eyebrows
12. Asian names are unpleasant when translated into English e.g. **, ****
13. Asian surnames have little variety
14. Asian eat rice every day because it is considered the meal i.e. side dishes doesn't make an adequate dinner
15. Asians eat strange things like duck, chicken feet and shark fin.
16. Asians love bubble tea
17. Asians find no shame in slurping
18. Asians must get A+ grades because A = average, B = bad, C = crap, D = Disowned, F = ******
19. Asians are maths brainiacs
20. Asians cannot speak engrish
21. Tutoring because 6 hours of school is for lazy people
22. Asians think holidays are the opportunity to get ahead of others in school
23. Everyday conversation includes "Have you studied yet?"
24. Asians should learn the piano or violin and preferably to concert level
25. Doctor is the best aspiration
26. If it's not a birthday party, there is little reason to go out when that time can be spent studying or practicing an instrument  
27. Asians enjoy Kpop and Jpop even when they don't understand the language
28. Asians take luvos and sticky photos with cute aegyo poses
29. Asian parents hope their daughters will not let any boy touch their hand, just like in Asian dramas
30. Asian parents ban girls from sleepovers, parties at night and outings with boys
31. Asian parents think their kids shouldn't date until university and even then, is still too young
32. Asians talk very loudly
33. Asian parents wake up the household with loud noises such as vacuuming or turning up the tv
34. Asian parents talk for far too long when they meet other Asian parents
35. Asian parents love to compare their children against other children
36. Every conversation with parents turn out to be a life lesson
37. Asians are stingy and will always hunt for money that's owed to them
38. Asians believe there is never a time when they should pay optional fees or full price for a commercial item
39. Asians are terrible drivers
40. Asians have some sort of kung fu power
41. Old Asians get together and learn tai chi
42. Asians wear slippers inside the house
43. Tigerbalm is their secret weapon
44. Asians have a piano in their living room
45. Asians go to an Asian language school
46. Asian mums tattoo their eyebrows
47. Asians use these emoticons: ^^, ><, O.O, T_T etc.
48. Asians use "la~" in instant messenging
49. Asians sing kareoke
He Pa'amon Oct 2013
Stop talking to the people who are not worth your time, who cause you unnecessary drama, and make you feel worse about yourself.

Be honest with yourself.

You have fewer friends than you thought. Your cafeteria table slowly decreases in size, as do your social commitments, but you do not have any drama, no shallow or fake nonsense. Slowly, everyone starts to seem annoying, and irritating, and you do not want to converse with any of them, ever again.

Do not have many friends, and sway between feeling sorry for yourself and feeling like you are superior.

When the one friend you do have does not come to school because she has to take a driving test, eat your lunch alone, and listen to music on your iPod so you do not appear as alone as you feel. Realize your condition has gotten much worse.

People talk to you. You feel ecstatic, even though you won’t admit that to yourself.
You get a shot of adrenaline when you feel as if you’ve breached their walls.
You try to say something—an opinion, an agreement, anything.
They ignore you.
You walk away, and think: you are above them anyways.

Do not get invited to parties. Think it is because no one likes you. Be sad; be resentful. Think about all the things you are missing at a dumb party thrown by a sophomore—which is bound to fail, and bound to get broken up by the cops. Realize that the reason you are not invited is more likely because you have never show any interest in parties. Force yourself to feel grateful for the lack of an invitation; no cops will come knocking on your door, asking questions.

Plus, you have to go to work tomorrow, and that is much more important.

When the party does get broken up, pretend that you knew it was a bad idea and that you had never wanted to go. Listen to the stories of running from the police, through thorn bushes, with a twinge of jealousy.

Not only do you not go to parties; you do not have any plans for the weekends at all.

Never have sleepovers. Instead, wake up at 12:00 in the afternoon, stay in your pajamas, and have a Netflix marathon of Supernatural. Eat a lot of junk food and think, “**** it!” and then immediately regret it, you are trying to lose weight.

If you lose weight, you won’t be a loser anymore.

If you lose weight, people will still remain the same.

You cry, because you think it’s what you should do.
You feel pathetic.
The tears running down your cheeks do not do justice for the raw, uncomfortable feeling making your stomach clench.
You are stronger than all of that.

You sit on your bed and think about a better time, a better place, when you felt accepted, loved, and even popular.

Think about the time you weighed a good fifty pounds less. You were on top of the world.

Talk about your future, because at least you have them beat there. You will go all the way.

Think about your straight A’s. Get on the scale. 145, 160, 194 pounds; why do those numbers matter? The 98’s are the ones that are going to get you into a good college.

College…
High school.
Present.

Walk through the double doors with staggering confidence.

Talk about how you are a loser—it makes people believe that you do not actually see yourself that way. Losers would never admit that they are a loser. Plus, the people you are talking to are obligated to deny the fact that you a loser, no matter their opinion. It’s common courtesy. Sometimes you want them to deny it, and sometimes you want to prove to them, and to yourself, that it is okay to be a loser.

You define yourself as one because sometimes you are proud of it.
Why?

You think: I do not want to be friends with these people; they are annoying, petty, and shallow. I am much more independent and mature. I’m off to better, bigger things.

Later
You think: it would be nice to have a few more friends, people to talk to, people who care.


Get assigned a creative essay titled, “How to Become a…”

Choose: “How to Become a Loser”

Plan on the piece being light, funny, and paradoxical, ending it with a sarcastic, but optimistic line.
Realize that you are not the loser; everyone else is.

Doubt yourself.
Realize this is no longer a humorous essay.
not a poem. i apologize.
Leah Vee Feb 2012
I come from innocence:
shared VHS tapes,
Disney movies rewound so many times
they got jammed,
late nights spent searching for a lost Elmo doll,
orange Tic Tacs,
bedtime stories by Dr. Seuss
and later, J. R. R. Tolkien,
when Saturday mornings meant
waking up at 6 to watch cartoons,
and sleepovers involved liters of Mountain Dew
and Godfathers pizza.

I come from a magical world
where number 4 Privet Drive is my second address,
Big Brother is always watching,
and sleeping with windows open are invitations for Peter Pan.
A place where Mr. Darcy is my soul mate,
I have two dogs named Old Dan and Little Ann,
to follow a white rabbit is encouraged behavior,
and if you asked me who my hero is
I’d answer with “Sydney Carton.”

I come from opposite sides of the map:
One half includes
Springfield raised grandparents
giving me 20 first cousins,
29 second cousins,
annual family reunions at the lake,
home grown tomatoes,
and alcoholics.
The other half is four thousand miles away and includes
only two cousins,
phone calls every Sunday before two,
and phrases like “Weltrusten” and “Ik hou van jou”
that sound as English as “Good night” and “I love you.”

I come from transformation:
dance recitals where wearing lipstick and hating it
turned into High School
when we all started wearing eyeliner
because it made us look older,
summers soaked in sunlight
are now dampened with summer jobs,
monsters no longer lived under our beds
but in our heads,
clumsy first kisses went further,
romances disappeared
and were replaced with heartbreak
so agonizing
even chocolate couldn’t help,
funerals became imminent,
trophies won at basketball camp- age 7
mean nothing
when you’re told you’re not good enough- age 17.

I come from friendship:**
stupid fights for no reason
always meant brownies the next day,
five dollar Photobooth pictures at the mall,
scary movies we never finished,
sneaking out at three in the morning to swim in the neighbors pool,
and surprise birthday parties
complete with Silly String.
Learning that it’s okay
to let someone see you cry sometimes.
Dumb ideas like wagon racing,
and glow stick fights
that left welts on our arms and legs.
Lord of the Rings movie marathons,
girls night out at Buffalo Wild Wings,
riding bikes down the middle of the highway,
mix CD’s,
Red Mango runs,
words of comfort,
advice,
love,
and seeing the beauty in each other
even when we can’t see it in our self.
Kelsey Erin Jan 2014
you are
friday night dinners and
red lip stained coffee cups
and family photos and skilled
sarcasm and twelve trips to
disney and your love for
avocados and adventure. you
are sunday morning bike rides
and hand written letters and
power outages with candlit ghost
stories and week long sleepovers and
summer dresses and worn out boots
and accident prone vacations and
themed birthday parties and forgetfulness
and gerbera daisies and singing too loudly
and too off key and GOOD mistakes and
better memories
you are constellations and sea glass and colliding galaxies
and sometimes the calander turns
like a lottery and once in a blue moon
you can find a girl with fractured
sapphires in her irises and a heart too
big for her ribcage and a spine as strong
as a lightning bolt
so thank you january twenty sixth,
for michele.
jaykzee Oct 2013
sleepovers are fun
we don't drink no ***
we sneak to the park
and yell like a lark
what is a lark you ask?
well i ain't gotta clue
maybe its for you
to figure out
what its all about
shaqila Dec 2013
I am Blasianic(black, asian, latin mix)
Asians are identical; we all look the same to Western people
2. Asians have small eyes, sometimes a monolid and wear glasses
3. Asians have straight black hair
4. Asians are short, petite, whatever you want to call it
5. Asian women have small curves
6. Asian mums nag about posture
7. Asian parents want their daughters to dress conservatively and ladylike which means hair tied back and skirts to at least the knees
8. Asian mums thinks beauty items are unneccessary, saying "Stop wasting your time and money trying to look pretty and get studying!"
9. Asians have no fashion sense. A dress with runners? Sure. Crocs? Why not, they're comfortable.
10. Asians parents think fifteen is too young for a girl to be wearing high heels
11. Asian parents hate unnatural changes to appearance with exception to double eyelid surgery and tattooed eyebrows
12. Asian names are unpleasant when translated into English e.g. **, ****
13. Asian surnames have little variety
14. Asian eat rice every day because it is considered the meal i.e. side dishes doesn't make an adequate dinner
15. Asians eat strange things like duck, chicken feet and shark fin.
16. Asians love bubble tea
17. Asians find no shame in slurping
18. Asians must get A+ grades because A = average, B = bad, C = crap, D = Disowned, F = ******
19. Asians are maths brainiacs
20. Asians cannot speak engrish
21. Tutoring because 6 hours of school is for lazy people
22. Asians think holidays are the opportunity to get ahead of others in school
23. Everyday conversation includes "Have you studied yet?"
24. Asians should learn the piano or violin and preferably to concert level
25. Doctor is the best aspiration
26. If it's not a birthday party, there is little reason to go out when that time can be spent studying or practicing an instrument  
27. Asians enjoy Kpop and Jpop even when they don't understand the language
28. Asians take luvos and sticky photos with cute aegyo poses
29. Asian parents hope their daughters will not let any boy touch their hand, just like in Asian dramas
30. Asian parents ban girls from sleepovers, parties at night and outings with boys
31. Asian parents think their kids shouldn't date until university and even then, is still too young
32. Asians talk very loudly
33. Asian parents wake up the household with loud noises such as vacuuming or turning up the tv
34. Asian parents talk for far too long when they meet other Asian parents
35. Asian parents love to compare their children against other children
36. Every conversation with parents turn out to be a life lesson
37. Asians are stingy and will always hunt for money that's owed to them
38. Asians believe there is never a time when they should pay optional fees or full price for a commercial item
39. Asians are terrible drivers
40. Asians have some sort of kung fu power
41. Old Asians get together and learn tai chi
42. Asians wear slippers inside the house
43. Tigerbalm is their secret weapon
44. Asians have a piano in their living room
45. Asians go to an Asian language school
46. Asian mums tattoo their eyebrows
47. Asians use these emoticons: ^^, ><, O.O, T_T etc.
48. Asians use "la~" in instant messenging
49. Asians sing kareoke
shaqila Dec 2013
I am Blasianic(black, asian, latin mix)
Asians are identical; we all look the same to Western people
2. Asians have small eyes, sometimes a monolid and wear glasses
3. Asians have straight black hair
4. Asians are short, petite, whatever you want to call it
5. Asian women have small curves
6. Asian mums nag about posture
7. Asian parents want their daughters to dress conservatively and ladylike which means hair tied back and skirts to at least the knees
8. Asian mums thinks beauty items are unneccessary, saying "Stop wasting your time and money trying to look pretty and get studying!"
9. Asians have no fashion sense. A dress with runners? Sure. Crocs? Why not, they're comfortable.
10. Asians parents think fifteen is too young for a girl to be wearing high heels
11. Asian parents hate unnatural changes to appearance with exception to double eyelid surgery and tattooed eyebrows
12. Asian names are unpleasant when translated into English e.g. **, ****
13. Asian surnames have little variety
14. Asian eat rice every day because it is considered the meal i.e. side dishes doesn't make an adequate dinner
15. Asians eat strange things like duck, chicken feet and shark fin.
16. Asians love bubble tea
17. Asians find no shame in slurping
18. Asians must get A+ grades because A = average, B = bad, C = crap, D = Disowned, F = ******
19. Asians are maths brainiacs
20. Asians cannot speak engrish
21. Tutoring because 6 hours of school is for lazy people
22. Asians think holidays are the opportunity to get ahead of others in school
23. Everyday conversation includes "Have you studied yet?"
24. Asians should learn the piano or violin and preferably to concert level
25. Doctor is the best aspiration
26. If it's not a birthday party, there is little reason to go out when that time can be spent studying or practicing an instrument  
27. Asians enjoy Kpop and Jpop even when they don't understand the language
28. Asians take luvos and sticky photos with cute aegyo poses
29. Asian parents hope their daughters will not let any boy touch their hand, just like in Asian dramas
30. Asian parents ban girls from sleepovers, parties at night and outings with boys
31. Asian parents think their kids shouldn't date until university and even then, is still too young
32. Asians talk very loudly
33. Asian parents wake up the household with loud noises such as vacuuming or turning up the tv
34. Asian parents talk for far too long when they meet other Asian parents
35. Asian parents love to compare their children against other children
36. Every conversation with parents turn out to be a life lesson
37. Asians are stingy and will always hunt for money that's owed to them
38. Asians believe there is never a time when they should pay optional fees or full price for a commercial item
39. Asians are terrible drivers
40. Asians have some sort of kung fu power
41. Old Asians get together and learn tai chi
42. Asians wear slippers inside the house
43. Tigerbalm is their secret weapon
44. Asians have a piano in their living room
45. Asians go to an Asian language school
46. Asian mums tattoo their eyebrows
47. Asians use these emoticons: ^^, ><, O.O, T_T etc.
48. Asians use "la~" in instant messenging
49. Asians sing kareoke
shaqila Dec 2013
I am Blasianic(black, asian, latin mix)
Asians are identical; we all look the same to Western people
2. Asians have small eyes, sometimes a monolid and wear glasses
3. Asians have straight black hair
4. Asians are short, petite, whatever you want to call it
5. Asian women have small curves
6. Asian mums nag about posture
7. Asian parents want their daughters to dress conservatively and ladylike which means hair tied back and skirts to at least the knees
8. Asian mums thinks beauty items are unneccessary, saying "Stop wasting your time and money trying to look pretty and get studying!"
9. Asians have no fashion sense. A dress with runners? Sure. Crocs? Why not, they're comfortable.
10. Asians parents think fifteen is too young for a girl to be wearing high heels
11. Asian parents hate unnatural changes to appearance with exception to double eyelid surgery and tattooed eyebrows
12. Asian names are unpleasant when translated into English e.g. **, ****
13. Asian surnames have little variety
14. Asian eat rice every day because it is considered the meal i.e. side dishes doesn't make an adequate dinner
15. Asians eat strange things like duck, chicken feet and shark fin.
16. Asians love bubble tea
17. Asians find no shame in slurping
18. Asians must get A+ grades because A = average, B = bad, C = crap, D = Disowned, F = ******
19. Asians are maths brainiacs
20. Asians cannot speak engrish
21. Tutoring because 6 hours of school is for lazy people
22. Asians think holidays are the opportunity to get ahead of others in school
23. Everyday conversation includes "Have you studied yet?"
24. Asians should learn the piano or violin and preferably to concert level
25. Doctor is the best aspiration
26. If it's not a birthday party, there is little reason to go out when that time can be spent studying or practicing an instrument  
27. Asians enjoy Kpop and Jpop even when they don't understand the language
28. Asians take luvos and sticky photos with cute aegyo poses
29. Asian parents hope their daughters will not let any boy touch their hand, just like in Asian dramas
30. Asian parents ban girls from sleepovers, parties at night and outings with boys
31. Asian parents think their kids shouldn't date until university and even then, is still too young
32. Asians talk very loudly
33. Asian parents wake up the household with loud noises such as vacuuming or turning up the tv
34. Asian parents talk for far too long when they meet other Asian parents
35. Asian parents love to compare their children against other children
36. Every conversation with parents turn out to be a life lesson
37. Asians are stingy and will always hunt for money that's owed to them
38. Asians believe there is never a time when they should pay optional fees or full price for a commercial item
39. Asians are terrible drivers
40. Asians have some sort of kung fu power
41. Old Asians get together and learn tai chi
42. Asians wear slippers inside the house
43. Tigerbalm is their secret weapon
44. Asians have a piano in their living room
45. Asians go to an Asian language school
46. Asian mums tattoo their eyebrows
47. Asians use these emoticons: ^^, ><, O.O, T_T etc.
48. Asians use "la~" in instant messenging
49. Asians sing kareoke
Day- June 14, 2015, Time- 8:07pm
When you were born
With those SLEEPY eyes
Ready to take on the world
And your BIG brothers, Mike and Connor.
With that cute little nose,
Forever Daddy's little princess,
And Mommy's little girl!
9lbs. 13 oz. 22 inches
You were a big baby
Born into a BIG family,
And we'll always be there for you,
And your brothers will always
PROTECT you!
You and your cousin, Avery, will be
GREAT FRIENDS!
Tea parties, sleepovers, and more.
We'll have to wait and see
What you decide to be!
So now all I have to say, baby girl,
"Welcome to the world and the family, Sarah!
WE LOVE YOU!
I wrote this after my 2nd niece was born.  I started these when my first nephew was born in 2007, and now he's almost 8. I will continue writing these for any new nephew or niece. I love my family!
©6/2015
McNally/Flanders, Inc.
Raj Arumugam Oct 2010
you might get a chill in bed
if you leave the windows open
in cold nights
and push away the quilt or blanket
all through sleep;
you can get comfort and peace
for a while at least
digging into bed
and covering yourself in
like an ostrich with its head in the sand;
you can get sick in bed
or you get, over time,
a bad back
in a bad bed;
or you get *** in bed
and or get lots of love;
you get coffee in bed,
or breakfast;
but you can also get
thrown out of bed;
or if you’re convincing enough
you can pretend to be sick
and they’ll even bring dinner to you in bed;
and you can have dreams and nightmares
and so travel even while in bed
and live every unknown layer in your mind;
you could, let’s face it, die in bed;
or if still alive
you can get wet dreams
and so get wet;
you can get sweet words whispered
or words uttered that split the bed;
you can spend time in bed
you can make plans in bed
and create empires or just build castles in bed
though there’s no sand or rocks about;
and you can dream in bed and work out your
inhibitions and delusions;
you can get ideas in bed
inspiration for a poem or the next great novel;
you can get
hugs and kisses
snuggles and pillow talk;
and pillow fights and sleepovers;
or perhaps, if you’re just born,
the comfort of lullabies
what you can get in bed; a poem conceived while in bed
shaqila Dec 2013
I am Blasianic(black, asian, latin mix)
Asians are identical; we all look the same to Western people
2. Asians have small eyes, sometimes a monolid and wear glasses
3. Asians have straight black hair
4. Asians are short, petite, whatever you want to call it
5. Asian women have small curves
6. Asian mums nag about posture
7. Asian parents want their daughters to dress conservatively and ladylike which means hair tied back and skirts to at least the knees
8. Asian mums thinks beauty items are unneccessary, saying "Stop wasting your time and money trying to look pretty and get studying!"
9. Asians have no fashion sense. A dress with runners? Sure. Crocs? Why not, they're comfortable.
10. Asians parents think fifteen is too young for a girl to be wearing high heels
11. Asian parents hate unnatural changes to appearance with exception to double eyelid surgery and tattooed eyebrows
12. Asian names are unpleasant when translated into English e.g. **, ****
13. Asian surnames have little variety
14. Asian eat rice every day because it is considered the meal i.e. side dishes doesn't make an adequate dinner
15. Asians eat strange things like duck, chicken feet and shark fin.
16. Asians love bubble tea
17. Asians find no shame in slurping
18. Asians must get A+ grades because A = average, B = bad, C = crap, D = Disowned, F = ******
19. Asians are maths brainiacs
20. Asians cannot speak engrish
21. Tutoring because 6 hours of school is for lazy people
22. Asians think holidays are the opportunity to get ahead of others in school
23. Everyday conversation includes "Have you studied yet?"
24. Asians should learn the piano or violin and preferably to concert level
25. Doctor is the best aspiration
26. If it's not a birthday party, there is little reason to go out when that time can be spent studying or practicing an instrument  
27. Asians enjoy Kpop and Jpop even when they don't understand the language
28. Asians take luvos and sticky photos with cute aegyo poses
29. Asian parents hope their daughters will not let any boy touch their hand, just like in Asian dramas
30. Asian parents ban girls from sleepovers, parties at night and outings with boys
31. Asian parents think their kids shouldn't date until university and even then, is still too young
32. Asians talk very loudly
33. Asian parents wake up the household with loud noises such as vacuuming or turning up the tv
34. Asian parents talk for far too long when they meet other Asian parents
35. Asian parents love to compare their children against other children
36. Every conversation with parents turn out to be a life lesson
37. Asians are stingy and will always hunt for money that's owed to them
38. Asians believe there is never a time when they should pay optional fees or full price for a commercial item
39. Asians are terrible drivers
40. Asians have some sort of kung fu power
41. Old Asians get together and learn tai chi
42. Asians wear slippers inside the house
43. Tigerbalm is their secret weapon
44. Asians have a piano in their living room
45. Asians go to an Asian language school
46. Asian mums tattoo their eyebrows
47. Asians use these emoticons: ^^, ><, O.O, T_T etc.
48. Asians use "la~" in instant messenging
49. Asians sing kareoke
Emily Budrow Apr 2016
this one girl I used to be friends with, she was so beautiful and never ever did she see it in herself. I used to look at her though, and I used to wish I looked just like her or had a personality as kind and sweet and determined as her. I used to want to be as free of a soul as her and sometimes, even as guarded. It made me sad a lot of the time because she was so depressed and mysterious to me; her life kinda ****** back when I had first met her. I remember we dropped acid together twice and I told her that if ever there was someone I didn’t want to lose, it was her. And then the following year we had a fall out and we don’t talk anymore. I guess people change and that should be okay but sometimes I still wonder about her and what she is doing now and how she spends her friday nights.

then there was this other friend, who I may have even considered myself closer with but in a different way. We used to sneak out of my house during sleepovers when we were younger and sit on the curb and share a cigarette. we’d talk about all the people we miss and how afraid we were of the future. I always felt like I hardly knew her even though she shared most of herself with me. the first time I saw her cry was terrifying to me, but I didn’t tell her that. I remember how pretty I thought she was. physically though. and physically alone. She had a lot birthmarks that made her intriguing and skinny legs with pretty knees. however, she was mean and usually very bitter. one time she told me “I hate people until they give me a reason to like them” and hearing that disappointed me. I tried the most to be her friend again after she walked away but it was no use.

another friend I had I was friends with since I was six. I knew her from pre school and we were inseparable. I could write paragraphs and paragraphs about how amazing that girl is. I could do the same about how bad I felt for her. she was a friend who I never thought I would lose and I remember we had the type of friendship where our parents used to sign us up to do the same sports (horseback riding, gymnastics). after we stopped being friends I heard she fell off the deep end and was doing a lot of drugs. I got back in touch with her recently however she never seemed interested in hanging out and some of my texts went unanswered so I gave up. when I think about her, I still see my 12 year old self, playing mermaids in her pool as if time had stood still. if any of the people I’m writing about read this post, I hope it’s her most of all. miss you.
i’m not sure if this sounds strange or not but a lot of the time I think about some of the old friends I used to have. like the people I became very close with and used to spend every day with and that type of “partner in crime” friendship. I just think of all the ways they are so beautiful and amazing and how much I truly love them as a person. I guess maybe the falling out was for one reason or another and maybe it was because of an argument or just because but that doesn’t mean they don’t still hold a high place in my heart.
shaqila Dec 2013
I am Blasianic(black, asian, latin mix)
Asians are identical; we all look the same to Western people
2. Asians have small eyes, sometimes a monolid and wear glasses
3. Asians have straight black hair
4. Asians are short, petite, whatever you want to call it
5. Asian women have small curves
6. Asian mums nag about posture
7. Asian parents want their daughters to dress conservatively and ladylike which means hair tied back and skirts to at least the knees
8. Asian mums thinks beauty items are unneccessary, saying "Stop wasting your time and money trying to look pretty and get studying!"
9. Asians have no fashion sense. A dress with runners? Sure. Crocs? Why not, they're comfortable.
10. Asians parents think fifteen is too young for a girl to be wearing high heels
11. Asian parents hate unnatural changes to appearance with exception to double eyelid surgery and tattooed eyebrows
12. Asian names are unpleasant when translated into English e.g. **, ****
13. Asian surnames have little variety
14. Asian eat rice every day because it is considered the meal i.e. side dishes doesn't make an adequate dinner
15. Asians eat strange things like duck, chicken feet and shark fin.
16. Asians love bubble tea
17. Asians find no shame in slurping
18. Asians must get A+ grades because A = average, B = bad, C = crap, D = Disowned, F = ******
19. Asians are maths brainiacs
20. Asians cannot speak engrish
21. Tutoring because 6 hours of school is for lazy people
22. Asians think holidays are the opportunity to get ahead of others in school
23. Everyday conversation includes "Have you studied yet?"
24. Asians should learn the piano or violin and preferably to concert level
25. Doctor is the best aspiration
26. If it's not a birthday party, there is little reason to go out when that time can be spent studying or practicing an instrument  
27. Asians enjoy Kpop and Jpop even when they don't understand the language
28. Asians take luvos and sticky photos with cute aegyo poses
29. Asian parents hope their daughters will not let any boy touch their hand, just like in Asian dramas
30. Asian parents ban girls from sleepovers, parties at night and outings with boys
31. Asian parents think their kids shouldn't date until university and even then, is still too young
32. Asians talk very loudly
33. Asian parents wake up the household with loud noises such as vacuuming or turning up the tv
34. Asian parents talk for far too long when they meet other Asian parents
35. Asian parents love to compare their children against other children
36. Every conversation with parents turn out to be a life lesson
37. Asians are stingy and will always hunt for money that's owed to them
38. Asians believe there is never a time when they should pay optional fees or full price for a commercial item
39. Asians are terrible drivers
40. Asians have some sort of kung fu power
41. Old Asians get together and learn tai chi
42. Asians wear slippers inside the house
43. Tigerbalm is their secret weapon
44. Asians have a piano in their living room
45. Asians go to an Asian language school
46. Asian mums tattoo their eyebrows
47. Asians use these emoticons: ^^, ><, O.O, T_T etc.
48. Asians use "la~" in instant messenging
49. Asians sing kareoke
Sippy cups to shot glasses
Skinned knees to broken hearts
Puppy love to marriage*

Why must the bliss be replaced with
Remorse and sorrow?
What ever happened to the time of cooties and boys being “icky”?

Soon baby dolls will be replaced with infants,
And sports cars will take the place of your hot wheels.

Sleepovers turn into obscene rumors.
Chubby cheeks turn into eating disorders.


I’m not ready to grow up yet.
I want to stay naive to reality,
Let me stay ignorant.

It’s inevitable that we have to grow up sooner or later
But why sooner than later?
Ronald D Lanor Nov 2012
Remember Mitchell Schumacher?
We all knew him.
Well, actually, his name wasn't Mitchell,
it was Michael,
but you know kids with their nicknames.
Playing video games until the sun comes up,
sleepovers, girls,
riding bikes all over town,
and down that old dirt hill;
it seemed the good times
would never end,
our innocence tying us
close together.

But now he's a cop
and I'm sitting in his jail cell.
My long hair and bag of grass
were no match for his
shiny, metal badge and shaved head.
I asked him about that Game Boy
I left at his house all those years ago
as he sat me in the back of his car
and told me to watch my head.
He looked at me
and laughed.

We used to know him.
Remember Mitchell Schumacher?
shaqila Dec 2013
I am Blasianic(black, asian, latin mix)
Asians are identical; we all look the same to Western people
2. Asians have small eyes, sometimes a monolid and wear glasses
3. Asians have straight black hair
4. Asians are short, petite, whatever you want to call it
5. Asian women have small curves
6. Asian mums nag about posture
7. Asian parents want their daughters to dress conservatively and ladylike which means hair tied back and skirts to at least the knees
8. Asian mums thinks beauty items are unneccessary, saying "Stop wasting your time and money trying to look pretty and get studying!"
9. Asians have no fashion sense. A dress with runners? Sure. Crocs? Why not, they're comfortable.
10. Asians parents think fifteen is too young for a girl to be wearing high heels
11. Asian parents hate unnatural changes to appearance with exception to double eyelid surgery and tattooed eyebrows
12. Asian names are unpleasant when translated into English e.g. **, ****
13. Asian surnames have little variety
14. Asian eat rice every day because it is considered the meal i.e. side dishes doesn't make an adequate dinner
15. Asians eat strange things like duck, chicken feet and shark fin.
16. Asians love bubble tea
17. Asians find no shame in slurping
18. Asians must get A+ grades because A = average, B = bad, C = crap, D = Disowned, F = ******
19. Asians are maths brainiacs
20. Asians cannot speak engrish
21. Tutoring because 6 hours of school is for lazy people
22. Asians think holidays are the opportunity to get ahead of others in school
23. Everyday conversation includes "Have you studied yet?"
24. Asians should learn the piano or violin and preferably to concert level
25. Doctor is the best aspiration
26. If it's not a birthday party, there is little reason to go out when that time can be spent studying or practicing an instrument  
27. Asians enjoy Kpop and Jpop even when they don't understand the language
28. Asians take luvos and sticky photos with cute aegyo poses
29. Asian parents hope their daughters will not let any boy touch their hand, just like in Asian dramas
30. Asian parents ban girls from sleepovers, parties at night and outings with boys
31. Asian parents think their kids shouldn't date until university and even then, is still too young
32. Asians talk very loudly
33. Asian parents wake up the household with loud noises such as vacuuming or turning up the tv
34. Asian parents talk for far too long when they meet other Asian parents
35. Asian parents love to compare their children against other children
36. Every conversation with parents turn out to be a life lesson
37. Asians are stingy and will always hunt for money that's owed to them
38. Asians believe there is never a time when they should pay optional fees or full price for a commercial item
39. Asians are terrible drivers
40. Asians have some sort of kung fu power
41. Old Asians get together and learn tai chi
42. Asians wear slippers inside the house
43. Tigerbalm is their secret weapon
44. Asians have a piano in their living room
45. Asians go to an Asian language school
46. Asian mums tattoo their eyebrows
47. Asians use these emoticons: ^^, ><, O.O, T_T etc.
48. Asians use "la~" in instant messenging
49. Asians sing kareoke
shaqila Dec 2013
I am Blasianic(black, asian, latin mix)
Asians are identical; we all look the same to Western people
2. Asians have small eyes, sometimes a monolid and wear glasses
3. Asians have straight black hair
4. Asians are short, petite, whatever you want to call it
5. Asian women have small curves
6. Asian mums nag about posture
7. Asian parents want their daughters to dress conservatively and ladylike which means hair tied back and skirts to at least the knees
8. Asian mums thinks beauty items are unneccessary, saying "Stop wasting your time and money trying to look pretty and get studying!"
9. Asians have no fashion sense. A dress with runners? Sure. Crocs? Why not, they're comfortable.
10. Asians parents think fifteen is too young for a girl to be wearing high heels
11. Asian parents hate unnatural changes to appearance with exception to double eyelid surgery and tattooed eyebrows
12. Asian names are unpleasant when translated into English e.g. **, ****
13. Asian surnames have little variety
14. Asian eat rice every day because it is considered the meal i.e. side dishes doesn't make an adequate dinner
15. Asians eat strange things like duck, chicken feet and shark fin.
16. Asians love bubble tea
17. Asians find no shame in slurping
18. Asians must get A+ grades because A = average, B = bad, C = crap, D = Disowned, F = ******
19. Asians are maths brainiacs
20. Asians cannot speak engrish
21. Tutoring because 6 hours of school is for lazy people
22. Asians think holidays are the opportunity to get ahead of others in school
23. Everyday conversation includes "Have you studied yet?"
24. Asians should learn the piano or violin and preferably to concert level
25. Doctor is the best aspiration
26. If it's not a birthday party, there is little reason to go out when that time can be spent studying or practicing an instrument  
27. Asians enjoy Kpop and Jpop even when they don't understand the language
28. Asians take luvos and sticky photos with cute aegyo poses
29. Asian parents hope their daughters will not let any boy touch their hand, just like in Asian dramas
30. Asian parents ban girls from sleepovers, parties at night and outings with boys
31. Asian parents think their kids shouldn't date until university and even then, is still too young
32. Asians talk very loudly
33. Asian parents wake up the household with loud noises such as vacuuming or turning up the tv
34. Asian parents talk for far too long when they meet other Asian parents
35. Asian parents love to compare their children against other children
36. Every conversation with parents turn out to be a life lesson
37. Asians are stingy and will always hunt for money that's owed to them
38. Asians believe there is never a time when they should pay optional fees or full price for a commercial item
39. Asians are terrible drivers
40. Asians have some sort of kung fu power
41. Old Asians get together and learn tai chi
42. Asians wear slippers inside the house
43. Tigerbalm is their secret weapon
44. Asians have a piano in their living room
45. Asians go to an Asian language school
46. Asian mums tattoo their eyebrows
47. Asians use these emoticons: ^^, ><, O.O, T_T etc.
48. Asians use "la~" in instant messenging
49. Asians sing kareoke
Marissa Wargo Jun 2015
BestFriend sleepovers

turn into

FuckBuddy sunrises
shaqila Dec 2013
I am Blasianic(black, asian, latin mix)
Asians are identical; we all look the same to Western people
2. Asians have small eyes, sometimes a monolid and wear glasses
3. Asians have straight black hair
4. Asians are short, petite, whatever you want to call it
5. Asian women have small curves
6. Asian mums nag about posture
7. Asian parents want their daughters to dress conservatively and ladylike which means hair tied back and skirts to at least the knees
8. Asian mums thinks beauty items are unneccessary, saying "Stop wasting your time and money trying to look pretty and get studying!"
9. Asians have no fashion sense. A dress with runners? Sure. Crocs? Why not, they're comfortable.
10. Asians parents think fifteen is too young for a girl to be wearing high heels
11. Asian parents hate unnatural changes to appearance with exception to double eyelid surgery and tattooed eyebrows
12. Asian names are unpleasant when translated into English e.g. **, ****
13. Asian surnames have little variety
14. Asian eat rice every day because it is considered the meal i.e. side dishes doesn't make an adequate dinner
15. Asians eat strange things like duck, chicken feet and shark fin.
16. Asians love bubble tea
17. Asians find no shame in slurping
18. Asians must get A+ grades because A = average, B = bad, C = crap, D = Disowned, F = ******
19. Asians are maths brainiacs
20. Asians cannot speak engrish
21. Tutoring because 6 hours of school is for lazy people
22. Asians think holidays are the opportunity to get ahead of others in school
23. Everyday conversation includes "Have you studied yet?"
24. Asians should learn the piano or violin and preferably to concert level
25. Doctor is the best aspiration
26. If it's not a birthday party, there is little reason to go out when that time can be spent studying or practicing an instrument  
27. Asians enjoy Kpop and Jpop even when they don't understand the language
28. Asians take luvos and sticky photos with cute aegyo poses
29. Asian parents hope their daughters will not let any boy touch their hand, just like in Asian dramas
30. Asian parents ban girls from sleepovers, parties at night and outings with boys
31. Asian parents think their kids shouldn't date until university and even then, is still too young
32. Asians talk very loudly
33. Asian parents wake up the household with loud noises such as vacuuming or turning up the tv
34. Asian parents talk for far too long when they meet other Asian parents
35. Asian parents love to compare their children against other children
36. Every conversation with parents turn out to be a life lesson
37. Asians are stingy and will always hunt for money that's owed to them
38. Asians believe there is never a time when they should pay optional fees or full price for a commercial item
39. Asians are terrible drivers
40. Asians have some sort of kung fu power
41. Old Asians get together and learn tai chi
42. Asians wear slippers inside the house
43. Tigerbalm is their secret weapon
44. Asians have a piano in their living room
45. Asians go to an Asian language school
46. Asian mums tattoo their eyebrows
47. Asians use these emoticons: ^^, ><, O.O, T_T etc.
48. Asians use "la~" in instant messenging
49. Asians sing kareoke
shaqila Dec 2013
I am Blasianic(black, asian, latin mix)
Asians are identical; we all look the same to Western people
2. Asians have small eyes, sometimes a monolid and wear glasses
3. Asians have straight black hair
4. Asians are short, petite, whatever you want to call it
5. Asian women have small curves
6. Asian mums nag about posture
7. Asian parents want their daughters to dress conservatively and ladylike which means hair tied back and skirts to at least the knees
8. Asian mums thinks beauty items are unneccessary, saying "Stop wasting your time and money trying to look pretty and get studying!"
9. Asians have no fashion sense. A dress with runners? Sure. Crocs? Why not, they're comfortable.
10. Asians parents think fifteen is too young for a girl to be wearing high heels
11. Asian parents hate unnatural changes to appearance with exception to double eyelid surgery and tattooed eyebrows
12. Asian names are unpleasant when translated into English e.g. **, ****
13. Asian surnames have little variety
14. Asian eat rice every day because it is considered the meal i.e. side dishes doesn't make an adequate dinner
15. Asians eat strange things like duck, chicken feet and shark fin.
16. Asians love bubble tea
17. Asians find no shame in slurping
18. Asians must get A+ grades because A = average, B = bad, C = crap, D = Disowned, F = ******
19. Asians are maths brainiacs
20. Asians cannot speak engrish
21. Tutoring because 6 hours of school is for lazy people
22. Asians think holidays are the opportunity to get ahead of others in school
23. Everyday conversation includes "Have you studied yet?"
24. Asians should learn the piano or violin and preferably to concert level
25. Doctor is the best aspiration
26. If it's not a birthday party, there is little reason to go out when that time can be spent studying or practicing an instrument  
27. Asians enjoy Kpop and Jpop even when they don't understand the language
28. Asians take luvos and sticky photos with cute aegyo poses
29. Asian parents hope their daughters will not let any boy touch their hand, just like in Asian dramas
30. Asian parents ban girls from sleepovers, parties at night and outings with boys
31. Asian parents think their kids shouldn't date until university and even then, is still too young
32. Asians talk very loudly
33. Asian parents wake up the household with loud noises such as vacuuming or turning up the tv
34. Asian parents talk for far too long when they meet other Asian parents
35. Asian parents love to compare their children against other children
36. Every conversation with parents turn out to be a life lesson
37. Asians are stingy and will always hunt for money that's owed to them
38. Asians believe there is never a time when they should pay optional fees or full price for a commercial item
39. Asians are terrible drivers
40. Asians have some sort of kung fu power
41. Old Asians get together and learn tai chi
42. Asians wear slippers inside the house
43. Tigerbalm is their secret weapon
44. Asians have a piano in their living room
45. Asians go to an Asian language school
46. Asian mums tattoo their eyebrows
47. Asians use these emoticons: ^^, ><, O.O, T_T etc.
48. Asians use "la~" in instant messenging
49. Asians sing kareoke
shaqila Dec 2013
I am Blasianic(black, asian, latin mix)
Asians are identical; we all look the same to Western people
2. Asians have small eyes, sometimes a monolid and wear glasses
3. Asians have straight black hair
4. Asians are short, petite, whatever you want to call it
5. Asian women have small curves
6. Asian mums nag about posture
7. Asian parents want their daughters to dress conservatively and ladylike which means hair tied back and skirts to at least the knees
8. Asian mums thinks beauty items are unneccessary, saying "Stop wasting your time and money trying to look pretty and get studying!"
9. Asians have no fashion sense. A dress with runners? Sure. Crocs? Why not, they're comfortable.
10. Asians parents think fifteen is too young for a girl to be wearing high heels
11. Asian parents hate unnatural changes to appearance with exception to double eyelid surgery and tattooed eyebrows
12. Asian names are unpleasant when translated into English e.g. **, ****
13. Asian surnames have little variety
14. Asian eat rice every day because it is considered the meal i.e. side dishes doesn't make an adequate dinner
15. Asians eat strange things like duck, chicken feet and shark fin.
16. Asians love bubble tea
17. Asians find no shame in slurping
18. Asians must get A+ grades because A = average, B = bad, C = crap, D = Disowned, F = ******
19. Asians are maths brainiacs
20. Asians cannot speak engrish
21. Tutoring because 6 hours of school is for lazy people
22. Asians think holidays are the opportunity to get ahead of others in school
23. Everyday conversation includes "Have you studied yet?"
24. Asians should learn the piano or violin and preferably to concert level
25. Doctor is the best aspiration
26. If it's not a birthday party, there is little reason to go out when that time can be spent studying or practicing an instrument  
27. Asians enjoy Kpop and Jpop even when they don't understand the language
28. Asians take luvos and sticky photos with cute aegyo poses
29. Asian parents hope their daughters will not let any boy touch their hand, just like in Asian dramas
30. Asian parents ban girls from sleepovers, parties at night and outings with boys
31. Asian parents think their kids shouldn't date until university and even then, is still too young
32. Asians talk very loudly
33. Asian parents wake up the household with loud noises such as vacuuming or turning up the tv
34. Asian parents talk for far too long when they meet other Asian parents
35. Asian parents love to compare their children against other children
36. Every conversation with parents turn out to be a life lesson
37. Asians are stingy and will always hunt for money that's owed to them
38. Asians believe there is never a time when they should pay optional fees or full price for a commercial item
39. Asians are terrible drivers
40. Asians have some sort of kung fu power
41. Old Asians get together and learn tai chi
42. Asians wear slippers inside the house
43. Tigerbalm is their secret weapon
44. Asians have a piano in their living room
45. Asians go to an Asian language school
46. Asian mums tattoo their eyebrows
47. Asians use these emoticons: ^^, ><, O.O, T_T etc.
48. Asians use "la~" in instant messenging
49. Asians sing kareoke
This is a story about a boy named kid
This boy had something he kept hid
Kid had something deep down inside
It was a quality different from many others
One that at the time worried their mothers
And disgusted their brothers
Friends would think him weird
Father would not accept him, this is what he feared
So he kept it a secret
He kept it for so long
Cause’ what he thought what he was feeling was so wrong
This thinking was instilled in him by society
The norms of life would not accept this variety
So he went on
Proceeding with life, terror and shame weakening his knees
Shaking when he sees the police
This boy will never know peace

At first he thought he would never tell
Preachers told him that he would go to hell
But another boy came along
A boy that he trusted
A boy that he loved
He became best friends with him
And one day he decided to reveal his secret to this boy

You see, this boy was not a boy at all
There was a reason he didn't stand so tall
This boy was a girl
She truly was
She told him about how she felt trapped inside this body of hers
She wondered aloud if this type of thing normally occurs
And she was tired of hearing all these sexist, homophobic, ridiculous slurs
She felt like she didn't belong in her own skin
She was scared that if she tried to change, she wouldn't fit it
She felt that this was a punishment for a sin
She revealed all to this boy, her closest friend
The one she learned to lean on and depend
She entrusted him; she made a mistake

Pretty soon word got out
Everyone knew her secret
She had no idea the boy wouldn't keep it
Tormented throughout the rest of the day
When she asked, no one wanted to play
She received ***** looks when she walked through the halls
She felt that she was taunted by everyone and the walls
And the teachers couldn't even look at her face
This girl felt like she was a disgrace
She felt like she had no place

When she got home, in the night the sorrow of the evening made her heart nearly burst
Not only was she betrayed by her friend, but by her family as well
Her parents couldn't look at her
Her brothers ran away when she came near
This is what she had come to fear
On her face was but a single tear

This tear, was not one made of sorrow or woe
This magical concoction was not made of anger or regret
It was a tear of pity
The girl stood defiant of them all
In this battle, she knew society would be the first to fall
She understands that she came into the world at the wrong time
She realized, it wasn’t acceptance from others that she wanted to find
She needed to accept herself
To be and act like whom she was on the inside
Not to comply with the cookie cutter form the world bestowed upon her
That night while she lay in bed
She smiled at the thought in her head
The thought of the future
The thought that in the future, kids like her would be accepted by everyone
They would be allowed at sleepovers
Wouldn't be looked down upon, or look up and see a disgusted face
Would be loved the same way by their family
Wouldn't feel like an outcast
She smiled for their future
She knew she had to stay strong for them
She knew she would never be accepted by anyone else
But she knew what she must do, be true to herself
Not sure why I felt the urge to write about this subject, but it felt right, to write it
raine miller Jan 2014
My keys (but who hasn’t?)
A tiny wooden heart
That one piece of paper with that one important reminder on it that I really needed to remember
A bottle cap
Some pretty rocks
Every last baby tooth
That one Goldfish you lose track of when eating but step on later
A stuffed cat
The childhood ability to look at someone and not judge them at some point
Fifteen years worth of chances to wake up early and see a sunrise
At least five rings
A friendship here and there
French fries buried somewhere in the car
A hot pink Barbie shoe
The same innocence about the world that I had when I was little
Countless socks
My favorite Jesse McCartney CD
Scribbles on paper that a four-year-old girl drew
The cap to the toothpaste
Two grandparents, a great-uncle, and a great-aunt that are really only misplaced
A watch (or two)
Three beads to my favorite bracelet
Old homework papers from grade school
A little doll
Five thousand dollars in pennies
My mind on occasion
The doodle I worked so ******* when bored in school
Four pieces of candy
About a million hair thingies
The same enthusiasm for carnival games that I had when I was eight
Seven little cute, shaped erasers
A thousand chances to go to bed early at sleepovers
Many pairs of sunglasses
A neon orange, pink, and yellow dance costume
Rubbery clothes to put on Polly Pocket dolls
The little star charm to my most favorite necklace
Memories of myself at age three
A ton of pencils
And pens
And countless more things that I can’t even remember
the first time i ever tried a list poem, a long, long time ago. apologies in advance for its length.

— The End —