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"seventeen" poems
She was only seventeen In a town called Mexicali Purple lipstick, hair dyed green Wouldn't let her leave without me And she liked things obscene That I won't talk about here But her **** you wouldn't believe, So I had to keep her around... **My marijuana girl, my marijuana girl Her eyes lit up When I lit up My marijuana girl My marijuana girl, my marijuana girl Smoky dreams and tequila screams...** ...My Marijuana Girl... She was a wild thing indeed Life carried by the wind A little wink is all she needs To drive a holy man to sin My bloodshot eyes were hypnotized My head started to spin She can blow you up or calm your heart Like nitroglycerine **My marijuana girl, my marijuana girl Her eyes lit up When I lit up My marijuana girl My marijuana girl, my marijuana girl Smoky dreams and tequila screams...** ...My Marijuana Girl... *Mi chica marijuana My marijuana girl*
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May 27, 2015
May 27, 2015 at 8:33 PM UTC
Marijuana Girl
Step One: Meet someone. Step Two: Become friends. Step Three: Spend too much time with them. Step Four: Realize that you have gotten along better with them than anyone else you know. Step Five: Tell yourself that they're the one for you. Step Six: Tell them that they're the one for you. Step Seven: Date. Step Eight: Fall in love. Take a deep breath. This is where it gets tricky. STEP NINE: Stay together for awhile... STEP TEN: AND AWHILE LONGER STEP ELEVEN AND WHILE LONGER STEP TWELVE AND AWHILE LONGER AND AWHILE LONGER AND AWHILE LONGER AND AWHILE LONGER STEP THIRTEEN: SHORTEN CONVERSATIONS STEP FOURTEEN: AWKWARD SILENCE STEP FIFTEEN: THEY STOP CALLING STEP SIXTEEN: THEY STOP TEXTING STEP SEVENTEEN: THEY SAY THEY FEEL DIFFERENTLY STEP EIGHTEEN: THEY SAY THEY MET SOMEONE ELSE STEP NINETEEN: THEY SAY THEY STILL WANT TO BE FRIENDS STEP TWENTY: THEY BLOCK YOU ONLINE STEP TWENTY-ONE: THEY BLOCK YOUR CELLPHONE NUMBER STEP TWENTY-TWO: YOU CRY and you cry and cry and cry and cry and cry and cry... Step Twenty-Three: ...you fall and hit rock bottom. There you have it, ladies in gentlemen: How to **** yourself without actually dying? ...Love someone who doesn't love you back.
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Mar 21, 2016
Mar 21, 2016 at 10:56 PM UTC
How To **** Yourself Without Dying: In 23 Simple Steps
We used to swing under the big willow tree We lived 3 doors down from each other We were princesses who fought dragons We could save the kingdom and find our prince by lunch time Our moms laughed and talked about how cute we were Four years old was a cute age Fast forward a bit We went into elementary school innocent and young Boys had cooties Girls had cooties Kickball always ended with someone getting hit in the face We would always sit out field and pick grass and shape it into a little birds nest Life was good Until your parents started fighting and I mean really fighting. It scared me and I would have to go home I would make you come with me three doors down Our moms didn’t laugh anymore By Christmas break your parents were broken up and divorced Eight years old was a confusing age Junior high was mean. Girls would rip you to shreds and then hang pieces of you on everyone’s lockers Boys just wanted to make out A whirlwind of uncontrolled hormones We were the quiet ones Always flew under the radar Just trying to make it out alive We found a little spot to eat lunch under the stairs where no one would go We giggled and talked about boys who didn’t even know that we existed I remember crying in the bathroom with you because people were brutal and we weren’t good enough Our moms worried about us and how distant we were becoming Thirteen years old was a sad age Highschool is another story You were put in the hospital for a month I was left at school alone I had to find more friends I found most of them were fake So I ate my lunch in a bathroom stall Reading all the swear words that were carved in the wall You were really sick and we grew apart We were always close We will always love each other You tried to save me from myself But I didn’t let you Seventeen was an important age Now we are at different colleges I tried to **** myself while you were getting an A on your anatomy test It’s sad We don’t swing under the big willow tree or fight dragons anymore Our moms hardly talk You are a success and I am a failure We don’t really mesh I miss you every day I’m sorry I can’t be good enough for you We were princesses who lived three doors down, we saved the kingdom. I love you I’m sorry this has faded Just like everything else Nineteen years old is a dying age.
0
Oct 12, 2016
Oct 12, 2016 at 4:23 AM UTC
willow tree
We used to swing under the big willow tree We lived 3 doors down from each other We were princesses who fought dragons We could save the kingdom and find our prince by lunch time Our moms laughed and talked about how cute we were Four years old was a cute age Fast forward a bit We went into elementary school innocent and young Boys had cooties Girls had cooties Kickball always ended with someone getting hit in the face We would always sit out field and pick grass and shape it into a little birds nest Life was good Until your parents started fighting and I mean really fighting. It scared me and I would have to go home I would make you come with me three doors down Our moms didn’t laugh anymore By Christmas break your parents were broken up and divorced Eight years old was a confusing age Junior high was mean. Girls would rip you to shreds and then hang pieces of you on everyone’s lockers Boys just wanted to make out A whirlwind of uncontrolled hormones We were the quiet ones Always flew under the radar Just trying to make it out alive We found a little spot to eat lunch under the stairs where no one would go We giggled and talked about boys who didn’t even know that we existed I remember crying in the bathroom with you because people were brutal and we weren’t good enough Our moms worried about us and how distant we were becoming Thirteen years old was a sad age Highschool is another story You were put in the hospital for a month I was left at school alone I had to find more friends I found most of them were fake So I ate my lunch in a bathroom stall Reading all the swear words that were carved in the wall You were really sick and we grew apart We were always close We will always love each other You tried to save me from myself But I didn’t let you Seventeen was an important age Now we are at different colleges I tried to **** myself while you were getting an A on your anatomy test It’s sad We don’t swing under the big willow tree or fight dragons anymore Our moms hardly talk You are a success and I am a failure We don’t really mesh I miss you every day I’m sorry I can’t be good enough for you We were princesses who lived three doors down, we saved the kingdom. I love you I’m sorry this has faded Just like everything else Nineteen years old is a dying age.
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60
I love you, Goodnight Every night, since forever ago Rhythm Routine Family, friends Taken for granted, yet True. Fourteen years old I love you, Called out, A promise of returned affection Timid, unsure A response to Insecurities. Not true. I love you, Goodnight Every night, since forever ago Rhythm Routine Family, friends Taken for granted, yet True. Fifteen years old Distrustful Cynical Confused Emotions flapping about like lost geese Nothing like all the before’s So this is what must be True. I love you, Goodnight Every night, since forever ago Rhythm Routine Family, friends Taken for granted, yet True. Sixteen years old, That feeling Tumultuous but calming Broken yet whole Lost but found Your deep, beautiful eyes Painful beyond belief, yet the best thing I’ve ever felt Simply, it's true I love you. I love you, Goodnight Every night, since forever ago Rhythm Routine Family, friends Taken for granted, yet True. Seventeen years old, It’s true What is? That You’re my truth And I love you. I love you, Goodnight Every night, since forever ago Rhythm Routine Family, friends Taken for granted yet True. Seventeen years old, I love you But… I ****** up I love you But… I kissed someone else We never set boundaries But…. I know I did wrong I love you But… I truly can’t be with you right now. I love you, Goodnight Every night, since forever ago Rhythm Routine Family, friends Taken for granted, yet True.   Seventeen years old, You’re awesome We’re so similar So, I love you? No, I realize that belongs to someone else, But you think it's yours. And that isn't true. **** I love you, Goodnight Every night, since forever ago Rhythm Routine Family, friends Taken for granted, yet True. Seventeen years old, I hate myself Because I’ve hurt you Your pain is killing me Though really, it’s me Killing you I love you, It's true. But, How can you ever forgive me? I love you, Goodnight Every night, since forever ago Rhythm Routine Family, friends Taken for granted, yet True. Eighteen years old, I love you It’s true But you’re broken still And I wish I could heal the horror I caused For you. I love you, Goodnight Every night, since forever ago Rhythm Routine Family, friends Taken for granted, yet True.   Eighteen years old, I love you Whispered gently Deeply Truly I want to kiss you I want to hold you I want to be with you Can we, please? I love you, Goodnight Every night, since forever ago Rhythm Routine Family, friends Taken for granted, yet True. Eighteen years old, Yes. We can. I love you too. I still truly do. I love you, Goodnight Every night, since forever ago Rhythm Routine Family, friends Taken for granted, yet True. Eighteen years old, I love you But… Why are you doing this to me? Why can’t you talk to me instead of hiding behind the texts? What’s happening? Please. Don’t do it this way. I love you, Goodnight Every night, since forever ago Rhythm Routine Family, friends Taken for granted, yet True.   Eighteen years old, Tears Broken Mind exploding with assumptions Intuition telling the worst of tales Distrustful Hurt Why this pain? I love you, Goodnight Every night, since forever ago Rhythm Routine Family, friends Taken for granted, yet True.   Eighteen years old, Bitter Am I jealous? This isn’t good… What’s happened to me? Helpless and Still true I love you But... Who knows why? I love you, Goodnight Every night, since forever ago Rhythm Routine Family, friends Taken for granted, yet True. Eighteen years old, And here come apologies A letter…. I love letters And I love you too Still, Somehow. It's true. I love you, Goodnight Every night, since forever ago Rhythm Routine Family, friends Taken for granted, yet True. Eighteen years old I don’t know what’s wrong with me Sad Hurt Insecure Doubtful Distrustful Broken Beyond belief Empty. I love you, Goodnight Every night, since forever ago Rhythm Routine Family, friends Taken for granted, yet True. Eighteen years old And I keep crying I cried because you were so caring towards to me the other day And it was so sweet. I cried because you hugged me and let me cry on you I cried because I love staring into your deep soulful eyes I cried because I feel so much, all the time, for you I cried because sometimes I truly hate how much I love you. I love you, Goodnight Every night, since forever ago Rhythm Routine Family, friends Taken for granted, yet True. Eighteen years old, And goodnight dear one, I still really do love you.  And, I promise you  All of this is true.
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Feb 24, 2016
Feb 24, 2016 at 2:31 AM UTC
For Those I've Truly Loved
I love you, Goodnight Every night, since forever ago Rhythm Routine Family, friends Taken for granted, yet True. Fourteen years old I love you, Called out, A promise of returned affection Timid, unsure A response to Insecurities. Not true. I love you, Goodnight Every night, since forever ago Rhythm Routine Family, friends Taken for granted, yet True. Fifteen years old Distrustful Cynical Confused Emotions flapping about like lost geese Nothing like all the before’s So this is what must be True. I love you, Goodnight Every night, since forever ago Rhythm Routine Family, friends Taken for granted, yet True. Sixteen years old, That feeling Tumultuous but calming Broken yet whole Lost but found Your deep, beautiful eyes Painful beyond belief, yet the best thing I’ve ever felt Simply, it's true I love you. I love you, Goodnight Every night, since forever ago Rhythm Routine Family, friends Taken for granted, yet True. Seventeen years old, It’s true What is? That You’re my truth And I love you. I love you, Goodnight Every night, since forever ago Rhythm Routine Family, friends Taken for granted yet True. Seventeen years old, I love you But… I ****** up I love you But… I kissed someone else We never set boundaries But…. I know I did wrong I love you But… I truly can’t be with you right now. I love you, Goodnight Every night, since forever ago Rhythm Routine Family, friends Taken for granted, yet True.   Seventeen years old, You’re awesome We’re so similar So, I love you? No, I realize that belongs to someone else, But you think it's yours. And that isn't true. **** I love you, Goodnight Every night, since forever ago Rhythm Routine Family, friends Taken for granted, yet True. Seventeen years old, I hate myself Because I’ve hurt you Your pain is killing me Though really, it’s me Killing you I love you, It's true. But, How can you ever forgive me? I love you, Goodnight Every night, since forever ago Rhythm Routine Family, friends Taken for granted, yet True. Eighteen years old, I love you It’s true But you’re broken still And I wish I could heal the horror I caused For you. I love you, Goodnight Every night, since forever ago Rhythm Routine Family, friends Taken for granted, yet True.   Eighteen years old, I love you Whispered gently Deeply Truly I want to kiss you I want to hold you I want to be with you Can we, please? I love you, Goodnight Every night, since forever ago Rhythm Routine Family, friends Taken for granted, yet True. Eighteen years old, Yes. We can. I love you too. I still truly do. I love you, Goodnight Every night, since forever ago Rhythm Routine Family, friends Taken for granted, yet True. Eighteen years old, I love you But… Why are you doing this to me? Why can’t you talk to me instead of hiding behind the texts? What’s happening? Please. Don’t do it this way. I love you, Goodnight Every night, since forever ago Rhythm Routine Family, friends Taken for granted, yet True.   Eighteen years old, Tears Broken Mind exploding with assumptions Intuition telling the worst of tales Distrustful Hurt Why this pain? I love you, Goodnight Every night, since forever ago Rhythm Routine Family, friends Taken for granted, yet True.   Eighteen years old, Bitter Am I jealous? This isn’t good… What’s happened to me? Helpless and Still true I love you But... Who knows why? I love you, Goodnight Every night, since forever ago Rhythm Routine Family, friends Taken for granted, yet True. Eighteen years old, And here come apologies A letter…. I love letters And I love you too Still, Somehow. It's true. I love you, Goodnight Every night, since forever ago Rhythm Routine Family, friends Taken for granted, yet True. Eighteen years old I don’t know what’s wrong with me Sad Hurt Insecure Doubtful Distrustful Broken Beyond belief Empty. I love you, Goodnight Every night, since forever ago Rhythm Routine Family, friends Taken for granted, yet True. Eighteen years old And I keep crying I cried because you were so caring towards to me the other day And it was so sweet. I cried because you hugged me and let me cry on you I cried because I love staring into your deep soulful eyes I cried because I feel so much, all the time, for you I cried because sometimes I truly hate how much I love you. I love you, Goodnight Every night, since forever ago Rhythm Routine Family, friends Taken for granted, yet True. Eighteen years old, And goodnight dear one, I still really do love you.  And, I promise you  All of this is true.
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280
Never should I love, For never will you love me. Never will your deep, blue eyes Look in mine and read my mind, Like a psychic running her fingers along the lines of my palms. Palms that belong to hands you’ll never hold, And handle with care like you would antique china And at the same time grip with a firmness that tells me you’ll never let go. You’ll never let go because you’ll never wrap your soft, warm arms around me in the first place. Your soul will never entangle with mine and fill that void Left by a **** sliced deep within me. A **** left by my father’s youth, And my mother’s faith, Whose knife cut out their acceptance for me And gouged out my trust in them. Can’t you see that you are the antidote to my lifelong suffering? The Accutane to my welted face, The braces to my crooked teeth, The nitro to my aching heart The rhino to my bulging nose The morphine to my broken mind, The running to my fading health Running, running, running away Far away from this broken house Where your dreams never do come true and Where you come out to yourself alone in the bathroom and Where they can’t ever know the truth because my house is Where God resides in the attic and Where Jesus is the only one you should let in your room at night and Where The Holy Spirit has possessed us all to live a lie because my house is Where lifelong love is dead at the delivery room And who is there to blame but me? Who is there to blame but me? But none of that matters to you. It can’t matter to you, Because all you do is love And love And love And love And love. But you never love me. Each year I have known you I have reached out farther than the last, Yearning for something I could never obtain. Fifteen pushes past Fourteen, Both of whom fall short of Sixteen’s growing arms, Which are narrowly outpaced by Seventeen’s spindly, wirey fingertips. Every Year’s efforts have met the same fate; Failing to reach their target they instead grasp fruitlessly Into a dark, brewing storm, Full of tears, And of crackling sparks of hope That are met with the resounding booms of fate Telling me that I am doomed to be alone. Telling me that never should I love, For never will you love me. But I never listen. Because I know you too well. And I know that someday, Someday soon, You’ll make the happy accident Of stepping too close to my many straining hands, And I’ll pull you near to me And you’ll realize that you never loved her at all. And that you always, always have loved me. -The Boy Who Loves You Too
0
Sep 29, 2016
Sep 29, 2016 at 10:42 PM UTC
To the Boy Who Won't Love Me:
Never should I love, For never will you love me. Never will your deep, blue eyes Look in mine and read my mind, Like a psychic running her fingers along the lines of my palms. Palms that belong to hands you’ll never hold, And handle with care like you would antique china And at the same time grip with a firmness that tells me you’ll never let go. You’ll never let go because you’ll never wrap your soft, warm arms around me in the first place. Your soul will never entangle with mine and fill that void Left by a **** sliced deep within me. A **** left by my father’s youth, And my mother’s faith, Whose knife cut out their acceptance for me And gouged out my trust in them. Can’t you see that you are the antidote to my lifelong suffering? The Accutane to my welted face, The braces to my crooked teeth, The nitro to my aching heart The rhino to my bulging nose The morphine to my broken mind, The running to my fading health Running, running, running away Far away from this broken house Where your dreams never do come true and Where you come out to yourself alone in the bathroom and Where they can’t ever know the truth because my house is Where God resides in the attic and Where Jesus is the only one you should let in your room at night and Where The Holy Spirit has possessed us all to live a lie because my house is Where lifelong love is dead at the delivery room And who is there to blame but me? Who is there to blame but me? But none of that matters to you. It can’t matter to you, Because all you do is love And love And love And love And love. But you never love me. Each year I have known you I have reached out farther than the last, Yearning for something I could never obtain. Fifteen pushes past Fourteen, Both of whom fall short of Sixteen’s growing arms, Which are narrowly outpaced by Seventeen’s spindly, wirey fingertips. Every Year’s efforts have met the same fate; Failing to reach their target they instead grasp fruitlessly Into a dark, brewing storm, Full of tears, And of crackling sparks of hope That are met with the resounding booms of fate Telling me that I am doomed to be alone. Telling me that never should I love, For never will you love me. But I never listen. Because I know you too well. And I know that someday, Someday soon, You’ll make the happy accident Of stepping too close to my many straining hands, And I’ll pull you near to me And you’ll realize that you never loved her at all. And that you always, always have loved me. -The Boy Who Loves You Too
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68
and i am eleven again feeling like tomorrow is a couple yesterday's ago smothered in cayenne pepper hot enough to take off taste buds and tonight i am eating a meal only worth burning it tastes like my parents anniversary it tastes like a zinfandel left on the counter too long it's a bad story, see there's no silverware 'cause my mom sold it to keep the lights on and somewhere in heaven somebody in a suit doing commentary on this fiasco is telling someone else in a suit that "you have to eat love with your hands" so we sit, four plates on the table for the two of us my brother's long gone dad's even further away & he's not the one who's buried i carry both their names like anchors that i cannot unmoor from while she looks at the empty table and says something about the news she says something else but she's not talking we aren't proud of this, see my dad likes to wax his car he's proud of it and my mom says she sees a lot of him in my hands says, i touch the things i find like they didn't belong to people sleeping in the ground she says i touch photo albums the same way- you know, i never used to believe that history could repeat itself not until i could fast forward seventeen years and still wake up to smoke alarms how i would go into our kitchen to find it empty and the dinner smoldering & my mother in her bedroom looking through family photos like it's a just another summer day and the sirens are just the birds i don't ask, i never say a word in this moment i am an archeologist afraid to dig up the past cause history repeats itself- you see my brother is dead and my father is gone they have been for some years now and my mother sometimes forgets and sets their place at the table like they're still here and in the confusion ends up ankle deep in pictures of how it used to be she let's dinner burn and douses it in red pepper hoping i won't know the difference
0
Oct 10, 2014
Oct 10, 2014 at 6:42 PM UTC
jamais vu
and i am eleven again feeling like tomorrow is a couple yesterday's ago smothered in cayenne pepper hot enough to take off taste buds and tonight i am eating a meal only worth burning it tastes like my parents anniversary it tastes like a zinfandel left on the counter too long it's a bad story, see there's no silverware 'cause my mom sold it to keep the lights on and somewhere in heaven somebody in a suit doing commentary on this fiasco is telling someone else in a suit that "you have to eat love with your hands" so we sit, four plates on the table for the two of us my brother's long gone dad's even further away & he's not the one who's buried i carry both their names like anchors that i cannot unmoor from while she looks at the empty table and says something about the news she says something else but she's not talking we aren't proud of this, see my dad likes to wax his car he's proud of it and my mom says she sees a lot of him in my hands says, i touch the things i find like they didn't belong to people sleeping in the ground she says i touch photo albums the same way- you know, i never used to believe that history could repeat itself not until i could fast forward seventeen years and still wake up to smoke alarms how i would go into our kitchen to find it empty and the dinner smoldering & my mother in her bedroom looking through family photos like it's a just another summer day and the sirens are just the birds i don't ask, i never say a word in this moment i am an archeologist afraid to dig up the past cause history repeats itself- you see my brother is dead and my father is gone they have been for some years now and my mother sometimes forgets and sets their place at the table like they're still here and in the confusion ends up ankle deep in pictures of how it used to be she let's dinner burn and douses it in red pepper hoping i won't know the difference
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74
4"2 with the voice of an angel he couldn't be more than ten the only thing he ever stole was the hearts of those around him a week later, his body drains of blood a mother's cry echoes around the town her innocent baby why'd they **** her innocent baby? he was only nine. a mother's cry echoes around the world her baby is gone blood drains from his body one shot to the head several to the torso why'd they **** her baby? he was only coming from school. a shaken up officer stands to the left Caucasian and worried a grieving community to the right African-American and terrified straight A's and a bright future at seventeen a future no-one could foresee both labeled thugs at 9 and 17 why? because of the skin they keep.
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Jan 3, 2018
Jan 3, 2018 at 8:09 PM UTC
modern day reality
I remember that spring morning all too well As much as I wish I could forget It was the Monday after prom I came into math class, the teacher was eyeing me sympathetically Then the principle came in with tears in her eyes What was going on? She started balling, I could barely make out her words Then I heard her loud and clear You were dead No. No. No. Surely I misheard Surely this was all a big misunderstanding and the boy in that car wasn't you Surely you'd stroll into class 10 minutes late as usual But it was you in that car And you never strolled into class again I remember when I told my best friend, the girl you loved and who loved you As I told her you were dead I watched the life drain from her face quicker than an avalanche falling, and it has yet to return And now her face is a reminder And now your empty desk is a reminder And now that bench where you used to sit all the time is a reminder And that one less chair at our graduation is a reminder And that picture of you in the hallway is a reminder Everything is a reminder No one really knows what happened to you that night Do people really crash into brick buildings on accident? Maybe you lost control of the car Maybe you lost control of your life All I know is seventeen is way too young to die All I know is we should've been talking about prom that morning Who kissed who, who wore what, who's after party was the best But instead we were mourning the death of a classmate That morning we lost you, and along with you, we lost our innocence too
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Jul 22, 2013
Jul 22, 2013 at 10:09 PM UTC
Gone too soon
I remember that spring morning all too well As much as I wish I could forget It was the Monday after prom I came into math class, the teacher was eyeing me sympathetically Then the principle came in with tears in her eyes What was going on? She started balling, I could barely make out her words Then I heard her loud and clear You were dead No. No. No. Surely I misheard Surely this was all a big misunderstanding and the boy in that car wasn't you Surely you'd stroll into class 10 minutes late as usual But it was you in that car And you never strolled into class again I remember when I told my best friend, the girl you loved and who loved you As I told her you were dead I watched the life drain from her face quicker than an avalanche falling, and it has yet to return And now her face is a reminder And now your empty desk is a reminder And now that bench where you used to sit all the time is a reminder And that one less chair at our graduation is a reminder And that picture of you in the hallway is a reminder Everything is a reminder No one really knows what happened to you that night Do people really crash into brick buildings on accident? Maybe you lost control of the car Maybe you lost control of your life All I know is seventeen is way too young to die All I know is we should've been talking about prom that morning Who kissed who, who wore what, who's after party was the best But instead we were mourning the death of a classmate That morning we lost you, and along with you, we lost our innocence too
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32
say goodbye to the bucolic summer the rafts of winter are upon the banks of your desire please placate the wild streets of abandonment let the edges of your neediness take you into independence i am less dense than a fly and more round than the sky i am a shade too dry for some people's liking are you wanting a more permanent vacation the icing on the cake is the real equation immediate desires all forsaken our love is worth practicing non-anticipation for if you kiss me now i’ll be forever liberated if you show me how i’ll take you to the 9th dimension seventeen floors above the world and we are standing on an indefinite embankment i am intimidated by your perspicacity as the persimmon sun sets upon the horizon
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Jul 23, 2018
Jul 23, 2018 at 3:01 PM UTC
the rafts of winter
These shots were never taken by chance They were of anger taken under sunshine This smoke can oh so muddle your view of the truth They use smoke of their own to hide their intentions But the truth can be seen rolling by, glinting red The weapon of black turns their eyes white  One shines with tears; the other dull and ***** The greedy man hides the youth of all seventeen It could have been stopped And the young could continue This is preventable But he continues to enable His smiles are swamp green His words are shiny gold But he hides it all behind his suit of blue
0
Sep 14, 2018
Sep 14, 2018 at 8:45 AM UTC
Sunny's Gun
This is a fictional account, but based On truth for many women. I was, Myself, abused by an ex-boyfriend. --- Here's the ballad of Hammer Hand, I'm here to spread it 'cross the land. He loved to hit, as you can see. What he hit was mainly me. He was a brawler in the day, But I left him where he lay. This is for you gals out there Who are hopeless, in despair, Who are battered, made to kneel, I do this so we both can heal. I was kicked upside the head, But now ol' Hammer Hand is *dead. ~~CHORUS~~ Hammer Hand, oh Hammer Hand, Did beating me make you a man? I have suffered your attack, You have made me blue on black, Your heart was black, my soul was blue, Your soul was false, my heart was true.* ~~~~~~ Hammer Hand was tall and lean, He was big, and ha was mean, He would snack and he would punch, Then he would demand his lunch. He used to hit me when he drank, His breath was fetid, his body rank, Whenever help I'd try to seek. He would hit me into next week. ~~~~~~ Hammer Hand is dead today And this is what I have to say, I told him when he broke my teeth, He would pay and come to grief! *Satan himself will take you down, And you'll be six feet underground.* ~~ CHORUS ~~ I'm a woman so you're bold, But Hammer Hand, you're getting old, Hammer Hand you've had your fun, But don't forget I have a SON. You can make me black and blue, But don't you go and  hit him, too! Don't make him hate you, make him mean, Soon he will be seventeen. You said a thing which I believe, You said you'd **** me if I leave. But me 'n Jamie gonna pack, We're gonna leave and not come back. When I die, at least I know, Where I'm bound, which way I'll go! Down inside you know as well, You are goin' straight to hell. Hammer Hand, O Hammer Hand, Now we've left, are you so grand? You won't hurt us anymore, 'Cause you're dead upon the floor. I don't think that you'll survive, Shot with your own 45, It wasn't me, I'm not that brave... *T'was Jamie put you in the grave. At sixteen he was pale and shy But he put a slug between your eyes. You made him beg. You made him bow. Well. I hope you're happy now.* SoulSurvivor Catherine Jarvis (C) June 11, 2011
0
Sep 20, 2014
Sep 20, 2014 at 3:03 AM UTC
The Ballad of Hammer Hand
This is a fictional account, but based On truth for many women. I was, Myself, abused by an ex-boyfriend. --- Here's the ballad of Hammer Hand, I'm here to spread it 'cross the land. He loved to hit, as you can see. What he hit was mainly me. He was a brawler in the day, But I left him where he lay. This is for you gals out there Who are hopeless, in despair, Who are battered, made to kneel, I do this so we both can heal. I was kicked upside the head, But now ol' Hammer Hand is *dead. ~~CHORUS~~ Hammer Hand, oh Hammer Hand, Did beating me make you a man? I have suffered your attack, You have made me blue on black, Your heart was black, my soul was blue, Your soul was false, my heart was true.* ~~~~~~ Hammer Hand was tall and lean, He was big, and ha was mean, He would snack and he would punch, Then he would demand his lunch. He used to hit me when he drank, His breath was fetid, his body rank, Whenever help I'd try to seek. He would hit me into next week. ~~~~~~ Hammer Hand is dead today And this is what I have to say, I told him when he broke my teeth, He would pay and come to grief! *Satan himself will take you down, And you'll be six feet underground.* ~~ CHORUS ~~ I'm a woman so you're bold, But Hammer Hand, you're getting old, Hammer Hand you've had your fun, But don't forget I have a SON. You can make me black and blue, But don't you go and  hit him, too! Don't make him hate you, make him mean, Soon he will be seventeen. You said a thing which I believe, You said you'd **** me if I leave. But me 'n Jamie gonna pack, We're gonna leave and not come back. When I die, at least I know, Where I'm bound, which way I'll go! Down inside you know as well, You are goin' straight to hell. Hammer Hand, O Hammer Hand, Now we've left, are you so grand? You won't hurt us anymore, 'Cause you're dead upon the floor. I don't think that you'll survive, Shot with your own 45, It wasn't me, I'm not that brave... *T'was Jamie put you in the grave. At sixteen he was pale and shy But he put a slug between your eyes. You made him beg. You made him bow. Well. I hope you're happy now.* SoulSurvivor Catherine Jarvis (C) June 11, 2011
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71
I watch him as he's treated like a germ behind his eyes there are whimpers A secret held for no one should know because once its revealed they treat him like a ******* My heart cries out and yearns to console to show him acceptance as he struggles to do so Death's cold breath raising hairs on his neck At seventeen he faces this foe Lost in a world that holds too many Homophobes Curse all of them Curse his darkest taunting hours Curse the creators of this Reaper and when they walk in the fires crying out I hope the devil relishes every moment
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Dec 28, 2012
Dec 28, 2012 at 5:28 PM UTC
***
Oh the fun we had as little six year olds, Laughing loudly and acting crazy, Staying up till the wee hours laying on the floor watching Hairspray Oh the hyper times we had as ten year olds, Sipping a little too much caffeine, Running around acting like animals in the front yard Oh the crazy times we had as twelve year olds, Not afraid to get down and ***** Camping and sliding down dirt in the ravine Oh the terrifying times we had as fourteen year olds, Living together for a whole week, Trying to **** each other with words shortly after Oh the bonding times we had as fifteen year olds, The darkest time in my life, Where we cried and I knew we would always be friends Oh the lively times we had as sixteen year olds, Both getting our licenses, Driving around everywhere just to take fun pictures Oh the tiresome times we had as seventeen year olds, Sitting in your car before school, Ranting and laughing about every aspect of life Oh the amazing times yet to come, Attending college and growing older, Still talking and ranting and laughing like every time before.
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Dec 24, 2016
Dec 24, 2016 at 10:26 PM UTC
Over the Years
1. Everything                     Started when she was seventeen                                             You couldn't tell her anything                                                                               Say he wasn't everything Who could tell her?                      What to believe                                                Tell her stop Or not to breath                                               Because that's what love is its like breathing                                                                 Yeah that’s what she believed                                                                               She believed she was living                                            On a wild ride of life                                                            A catalyst to somewhere like paradise She said send me ' send me away I will live to love another day And kiss me, kiss me goodbye I’m going on a wild ride And love me, love me tonight Loves a catalyst to paradise. 2. And everything                           Started out like a dream                                  But now she was waking                                                       Waking up to everything                                                                  Life played out like a movie scene     And is this is what life is                      When hearts are breaking                                       When hearts are breaking tearing up everything                                                                                                                                                       Just- like -an- earth quake--- nothings left... You still can’t take her respect                                            Tell her love isn't everything                                                                        There’s no mistaking that                                                                                                                                                                    She might not make it back She knew when she took that ride                                                        A catalyst to paradise She said send me ' send me away I will live to love another day And kiss me, kiss me goodbye I’m going on a wild ride And love me, love me tonight Your loves a catalyst to paradise. 3. And everything changes                                   We all have to live life and No body is always right                                                       We live and learn we all take our lessons                                                        With our pride and our blessings                                                                                                                                                                                                                               We all take our turn on a wild ride                          A catalyst to paradise  to find love  in someone’s eyes Say send me ' send me away I will live to love another day And kiss me, kiss me goodbye I’m going on a wild ride And love me, love me tonight Your loves a catalyst to paradise.
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Nov 29, 2014
Nov 29, 2014 at 5:14 PM UTC
catalyst
1. Everything                     Started when she was seventeen                                             You couldn't tell her anything                                                                               Say he wasn't everything Who could tell her?                      What to believe                                                Tell her stop Or not to breath                                               Because that's what love is its like breathing                                                                 Yeah that’s what she believed                                                                               She believed she was living                                            On a wild ride of life                                                            A catalyst to somewhere like paradise She said send me ' send me away I will live to love another day And kiss me, kiss me goodbye I’m going on a wild ride And love me, love me tonight Loves a catalyst to paradise. 2. And everything                           Started out like a dream                                  But now she was waking                                                       Waking up to everything                                                                  Life played out like a movie scene     And is this is what life is                      When hearts are breaking                                       When hearts are breaking tearing up everything                                                                                                                                                       Just- like -an- earth quake--- nothings left... You still can’t take her respect                                            Tell her love isn't everything                                                                        There’s no mistaking that                                                                                                                                                                    She might not make it back She knew when she took that ride                                                        A catalyst to paradise She said send me ' send me away I will live to love another day And kiss me, kiss me goodbye I’m going on a wild ride And love me, love me tonight Your loves a catalyst to paradise. 3. And everything changes                                   We all have to live life and No body is always right                                                       We live and learn we all take our lessons                                                        With our pride and our blessings                                                                                                                                                                                                                               We all take our turn on a wild ride                          A catalyst to paradise  to find love  in someone’s eyes Say send me ' send me away I will live to love another day And kiss me, kiss me goodbye I’m going on a wild ride And love me, love me tonight Your loves a catalyst to paradise.
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52
I've walked the beaten path Sinned in the ways of every religion But the only salvation I'm looking for Is in the smiles I'm able to place on your face So when you read my text Listen to the way I'm telling you I like you Listen to the message in the complex smiles The kissy faces That seem to be endless You can't call this puppy love This is the way you were meant to be loved So baby let me make you happy I'm not asking for the physicality of a relationship I'm asking to put this band on your finger Look in the mirror See my complete reflection Because this mirror is your eyes Baby let me make happy There's nothing I'd rather do Honestly you're on my mind I've only talked to you on occasion I don't don't want to send coded messages In the texts that make you smile and want me I want to tell you straight up Baby I like you I'm not innocent I'm not expecting you to be I'm just asking you to be mine Let me make you happy the only way I know Let me be the sculptor Plaster smiles on your frowning face Strip the clothes from your mannequin figure Let me make you happy In and out of the bed I'm only asking for a chance Baby let me make you happy I promise you'll never be alone Even if I'm seventeen hours away My heart is in the pillow you hold tight My cologne is in the sheets you wrap yourself in You can even wear my clothes Go insane and let me walk in On you making out with a pillow dressed like me I'll smile and I promise I'll love you the way that pillow never could Let me make you happy The way the other guys failed to When they ******* up the chance you blessed them with I promise baby I'll never hurt you My shoes are in the closet They're not going anywhere My suitcases are unpacked and laying in the dump Three states away The distance you wanted in the first place Between me and my second love You know I had a tendency of packing up Leaving in the middle of the night When your slumbering hand wandered on my side of the bed Looking for the warmth of my skin But Baby I promise my walking days are over My running shoes are too old They don't fit anymore Let me make you happy the way you deserve I understand if you don't want to do it I'm not going to cliche it up I'm not going to beg I'm just going to tell you I like you Ask you for only one thing in this relationship Let me make you happy It's not much but let me make it my sole purpose in life I don't need a god or gods and goddesses All I need is the heart in your chest To be my altar To be where I tithe my sins away To give praise to the heart that saved me Let me make you happy I'm not a complete ****** like the rest of them
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Aug 1, 2013
Aug 1, 2013 at 3:12 AM UTC
Let Me Make You Happy
I've walked the beaten path Sinned in the ways of every religion But the only salvation I'm looking for Is in the smiles I'm able to place on your face So when you read my text Listen to the way I'm telling you I like you Listen to the message in the complex smiles The kissy faces That seem to be endless You can't call this puppy love This is the way you were meant to be loved So baby let me make you happy I'm not asking for the physicality of a relationship I'm asking to put this band on your finger Look in the mirror See my complete reflection Because this mirror is your eyes Baby let me make happy There's nothing I'd rather do Honestly you're on my mind I've only talked to you on occasion I don't don't want to send coded messages In the texts that make you smile and want me I want to tell you straight up Baby I like you I'm not innocent I'm not expecting you to be I'm just asking you to be mine Let me make you happy the only way I know Let me be the sculptor Plaster smiles on your frowning face Strip the clothes from your mannequin figure Let me make you happy In and out of the bed I'm only asking for a chance Baby let me make you happy I promise you'll never be alone Even if I'm seventeen hours away My heart is in the pillow you hold tight My cologne is in the sheets you wrap yourself in You can even wear my clothes Go insane and let me walk in On you making out with a pillow dressed like me I'll smile and I promise I'll love you the way that pillow never could Let me make you happy The way the other guys failed to When they ******* up the chance you blessed them with I promise baby I'll never hurt you My shoes are in the closet They're not going anywhere My suitcases are unpacked and laying in the dump Three states away The distance you wanted in the first place Between me and my second love You know I had a tendency of packing up Leaving in the middle of the night When your slumbering hand wandered on my side of the bed Looking for the warmth of my skin But Baby I promise my walking days are over My running shoes are too old They don't fit anymore Let me make you happy the way you deserve I understand if you don't want to do it I'm not going to cliche it up I'm not going to beg I'm just going to tell you I like you Ask you for only one thing in this relationship Let me make you happy It's not much but let me make it my sole purpose in life I don't need a god or gods and goddesses All I need is the heart in your chest To be my altar To be where I tithe my sins away To give praise to the heart that saved me Let me make you happy I'm not a complete ****** like the rest of them
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79
I kissed you first at seventeen and we continued to kiss for weeks, even though your kisses always hurt. I'm immune to you now You were the only constant in my life, When everyone else left me, you'd appear to take me into the folds of your arms, To make me believe you were the only thing keeping me alive But your plan was to **** me all along I had jealous lovers, Who were harder, tougher and who copulated with many in Vesey Park They tried in vain to tempt me But you were all I needed I craved you always, Saw you first every Saturday night Then drowned myself to keep you On those days when the rain never stopped You were always there for me Always always there
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Nov 26, 2014
Nov 26, 2014 at 4:09 PM UTC
Smoking
New Orleans has its Oaks, the most beautiful in the world The Oaks they had an occupant, little squawky squirrel Squawky squirrel stepped out one day, cross the street he made his way And if he hadn’t changed his mind, he’d still be here today The widow sweet Ms. Peters, did receive a call From a handsome gentleman, who went by the name of Paul Ms. Peters had been interested, in Paul’s cautious advance But decided she would wait a while, not to take a chance Now Paul has found his one and only Ms. Peters spends her nights quite lonely Oh yes the case of the pretty pilot Just seventeen in a flying machine The weather turned black so she headed back But her boyfriend intervened Now close if I may - here's what I say Trust yourself - the odds break your way
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Jul 19, 2018
Jul 19, 2018 at 2:35 PM UTC
The Often Disastrous Result of Changing Your Mind
i am so young
 i am
 seventeen 
again and again 
playing that same anthem 
again and again
 where have the years gone? 
i used to be free 
from the truths of freedom 
from reality 
i scold myself 
more than my father
 disappoint myself
 just like my mother 
drown myself
 without any grace 
and wash up on the coast
 without my face
0
Mar 16, 2015
Mar 16, 2015 at 12:33 AM UTC
march 15th // 11:27pm
... It’s been seventeen hours and twelve days, since we said our last goodbye. Since you were gone, I told myself that I could move on. All that I needed was, someone like you to love. But how could I forget, these is nothing, and I have checked, not-a-thing in this universe that can take your place. Because, Princess, Nothing Compares To You. It’s a long way that we have walked, why should I now believe that we should stop? And I have walked. A Thousand Miles I Have Walked, just to be that man who didn't want to lose you. Perhaps The Fault was in me. But, Princess, I Just Don’t Want To Lose You. Remember then, when in the August Rush, I Drew You, to show my love. For I had a reason to change, to be the perfect fit for your checklist, and The Reason was you. And then you replied, by walking away a few miles. We knew that this ain't true love yet, but you said you would Stay With Me. And, Princess, why didn't you stay with me? And how I wished for you to wake me up when all this ends. And you woke me up before September’s end, While I was still in bed, Hoping to wake up with Amnesia. Because, Princess, I was not fine at all. No, I’m really not fine at all. And then I woke up with Amnesia on a rainy October eve, since you were just beside me, and that's all I need. But then you asked me to not feel needed. You told me to not love you so much. But how could I not, when I’m Only Human. And, Princess, I’m only a human. On the day - a year back - when he was, where I am, You told me that you felt nothing, Like the nothing that compares to you, for me. Without a stab, I felt pain. Without a wound, my blood started to drain. My chest was heavy and I knew my heart was beating in vain. But, Princess, how could I Make You Feel Something That Your Heart Won’t? All this time that I have spent in wait of meeting this date. 17 hours and 12 days ago, I have missed my train. The day that means more to me than to you, How could I Let Her Go? So Lets Be The Life Of The Party, And remember to walk further more. Together. Because, Princess, Happy Birthday To You :). P.S. I Will Always Love You. ... - Inspired by our songs. KD.
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Dec 21, 2014
Dec 21, 2014 at 2:02 PM UTC
Happy Birthday, Princess
... It’s been seventeen hours and twelve days, since we said our last goodbye. Since you were gone, I told myself that I could move on. All that I needed was, someone like you to love. But how could I forget, these is nothing, and I have checked, not-a-thing in this universe that can take your place. Because, Princess, Nothing Compares To You. It’s a long way that we have walked, why should I now believe that we should stop? And I have walked. A Thousand Miles I Have Walked, just to be that man who didn't want to lose you. Perhaps The Fault was in me. But, Princess, I Just Don’t Want To Lose You. Remember then, when in the August Rush, I Drew You, to show my love. For I had a reason to change, to be the perfect fit for your checklist, and The Reason was you. And then you replied, by walking away a few miles. We knew that this ain't true love yet, but you said you would Stay With Me. And, Princess, why didn't you stay with me? And how I wished for you to wake me up when all this ends. And you woke me up before September’s end, While I was still in bed, Hoping to wake up with Amnesia. Because, Princess, I was not fine at all. No, I’m really not fine at all. And then I woke up with Amnesia on a rainy October eve, since you were just beside me, and that's all I need. But then you asked me to not feel needed. You told me to not love you so much. But how could I not, when I’m Only Human. And, Princess, I’m only a human. On the day - a year back - when he was, where I am, You told me that you felt nothing, Like the nothing that compares to you, for me. Without a stab, I felt pain. Without a wound, my blood started to drain. My chest was heavy and I knew my heart was beating in vain. But, Princess, how could I Make You Feel Something That Your Heart Won’t? All this time that I have spent in wait of meeting this date. 17 hours and 12 days ago, I have missed my train. The day that means more to me than to you, How could I Let Her Go? So Lets Be The Life Of The Party, And remember to walk further more. Together. Because, Princess, Happy Birthday To You :). P.S. I Will Always Love You. ... - Inspired by our songs. KD.
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48
At seventeen I am almost grown. Almost old enough to own a home of my own. Yet, i remain viewed as young, naive. Told I am too young to know what i believe. At seventeen the world drowns me in a sea of questions it doesn't want the answers to. At seventeen everyone thinks they know whats best for me, "....grow up, be a part of your society." Don't worry about happiness that's a selfish priority. "...grow up." But at seventeen its hard to differentiate between hopes and reality. It's sad you can do anything you believe, but i fear it's a lie, we've all been teased. The proof? On the streets. An endless stream of people who've had their dreams seized. I dread the thought of this stream consuming me. Me? Me? At seventeen I don't know if I am me. Or just everything that's ever been crammed down my throat into a part of my brain I cant pronounce. At seventeen I've fallen down a rabbit hole. The queen of hearts pounding me with every cliche ideal every adult has told me to believe. The white rabbit screaming to me the time. 17..18..19 I just want to leave. I am only seventeen. But if not this rabbit hole where? Just a new nightmare? Filled with symbolism I should get. Things I should know. Seventeen is plenty of time to grow... grow up. But I am only seventeen. I am only seventeen. Am only seventeen. Only seventeen. Seventeen. I am seventeen. At seventeen the world says I am almost grown. At seventeen I am scared to have a home of my own. At seventeen I question everything I ever knew. But remain unchanged. Remain floating through life without a clue.
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Jun 20, 2013
Jun 20, 2013 at 6:12 PM UTC
Seventeen
At seventeen I am almost grown. Almost old enough to own a home of my own. Yet, i remain viewed as young, naive. Told I am too young to know what i believe. At seventeen the world drowns me in a sea of questions it doesn't want the answers to. At seventeen everyone thinks they know whats best for me, "....grow up, be a part of your society." Don't worry about happiness that's a selfish priority. "...grow up." But at seventeen its hard to differentiate between hopes and reality. It's sad you can do anything you believe, but i fear it's a lie, we've all been teased. The proof? On the streets. An endless stream of people who've had their dreams seized. I dread the thought of this stream consuming me. Me? Me? At seventeen I don't know if I am me. Or just everything that's ever been crammed down my throat into a part of my brain I cant pronounce. At seventeen I've fallen down a rabbit hole. The queen of hearts pounding me with every cliche ideal every adult has told me to believe. The white rabbit screaming to me the time. 17..18..19 I just want to leave. I am only seventeen. But if not this rabbit hole where? Just a new nightmare? Filled with symbolism I should get. Things I should know. Seventeen is plenty of time to grow... grow up. But I am only seventeen. I am only seventeen. Am only seventeen. Only seventeen. Seventeen. I am seventeen. At seventeen the world says I am almost grown. At seventeen I am scared to have a home of my own. At seventeen I question everything I ever knew. But remain unchanged. Remain floating through life without a clue.
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43
At twenty one thirty , and far away, she made up her mind and couldn't stay. Her pain was too much, for her to bare I tried to reach out, but she didn't care. At just seventeen, she had been through hell, Could not escape her molested cell. Nowhere to go, seeing darkness around, No escape for this girl, only hell bound. I begged her to stay, she said go away, Why do you care? I bowed down to pray. She grabbed the blade, going deeper every time, Slashed her wrist, I cried and I cried. A thousand miles away, I am now in somber. Why did you leave me? I will always remember.
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Oct 5, 2014
Oct 5, 2014 at 11:03 PM UTC
Why did you leave me today?
I sit there and know That I could never Engage myself in conversations With these conundrums. Those who are both human, and Badly wrapped paper packages, Filled with so much experience, Brimming with knowledge which Is rapidly fleeing through The holes in the brown paper Worn by time. How can I speak to those Who cannot hear my words in full So that they must be talked to Slowly, like They are children But that have been through so much More than I At the tender age of seventeen Could even imagine. How can I speak to these enigmas Who keep asking me the same questions But which I cannot talk to Without being Disrespectful Not only towards them But towards my future Aged self, who will one day Be in their position And who I cannot imagine Will want to be treated Like a five year old At the age of eighty five.
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Mar 3, 2014
Mar 3, 2014 at 11:47 AM UTC
Disrespect
Coffee stains and cigarette burns I don't know how to feel, my head kinda hurts Sweet seventeen and the pain has just began Drown yourself in alcohol, it'll help you feel numb Your body is so ***** the night is far from done Everybody can come over, my mom and dad are gone
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Apr 6, 2015
Apr 6, 2015 at 9:48 PM UTC
party time