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"scolds" poems
I'M MAKING nachos in your toaster oven. The chips fall in the pan without a problem. Beans, evenly distributed (if I do say so myself.) Salsa- good to go. Then the cheese. Generic brand shredded cheese blend. I dangle my (washed) fingers into the zip-lock bag, grab a generous pinch and rain mild cheddar down on my gourmet meal. And I feel the tears building. "No," my conscious scolds, "you will not cry over shredded cheese." I add another pinch for flavor, then another to assert dominance. I slide the pan into the tiny oven- triumphant! But the next task breaks me. I freeze when I try to adjust the heat setting. I hear your voice so clearly, like you're still calling from the next room: "you have to press the TOAST button, it cooks much faster."  The tears start to roll. I think about how excited you were when cheese bubbled perfectly- "just a little brown, ever so slightly crispy." We would joke about your persnickety preferences, likely a product of your superior taste. Of course, you would have appreciated anything I made for you, but it was always better when the dish matched the idea in your head...when I made it like you would have made it (if you were only well enough to cook for yourself again.) In the present, I poke the TOAST button and flee the kitchen as to not cry in front of the smothered chips. I sit on the sofa and break down, gasping in childish sobs. "I miss her," I wail to an empty house. Warm tears coat my cheeks in the air-conditioned room. I feel so small. I feel so foolish for crying over stupid, little things. I feel so... so... A bell dings in the kitchen. I wipe my sleeve across my face and traipse back to the toaster. Hand into oven mitt, mitt onto pan, pan onto table. I grab the plastic tubs of sour cream and guacamole from the fridge and a spoon from the drawer that sticks a little when you try to open it. I pick the non-wilted bits off the head of lettuce and rinse them under the faucet. I finish the recipe. I pull out a chair. I sit down to nachos for one.
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Jun 4, 2018
Jun 4, 2018 at 9:57 PM UTC
Stupidest Things
I'M MAKING nachos in your toaster oven. The chips fall in the pan without a problem. Beans, evenly distributed (if I do say so myself.) Salsa- good to go. Then the cheese. Generic brand shredded cheese blend. I dangle my (washed) fingers into the zip-lock bag, grab a generous pinch and rain mild cheddar down on my gourmet meal. And I feel the tears building. "No," my conscious scolds, "you will not cry over shredded cheese." I add another pinch for flavor, then another to assert dominance. I slide the pan into the tiny oven- triumphant! But the next task breaks me. I freeze when I try to adjust the heat setting. I hear your voice so clearly, like you're still calling from the next room: "you have to press the TOAST button, it cooks much faster."  The tears start to roll. I think about how excited you were when cheese bubbled perfectly- "just a little brown, ever so slightly crispy." We would joke about your persnickety preferences, likely a product of your superior taste. Of course, you would have appreciated anything I made for you, but it was always better when the dish matched the idea in your head...when I made it like you would have made it (if you were only well enough to cook for yourself again.) In the present, I poke the TOAST button and flee the kitchen as to not cry in front of the smothered chips. I sit on the sofa and break down, gasping in childish sobs. "I miss her," I wail to an empty house. Warm tears coat my cheeks in the air-conditioned room. I feel so small. I feel so foolish for crying over stupid, little things. I feel so... so... A bell dings in the kitchen. I wipe my sleeve across my face and traipse back to the toaster. Hand into oven mitt, mitt onto pan, pan onto table. I grab the plastic tubs of sour cream and guacamole from the fridge and a spoon from the drawer that sticks a little when you try to open it. I pick the non-wilted bits off the head of lettuce and rinse them under the faucet. I finish the recipe. I pull out a chair. I sit down to nachos for one.
Continue reading...
1
Seating comfortably in this machine Watching them sell things by the road That's the hustle Heading to the capital That's where life thrives after Uni. To start my hustle The constant of all this is fear I'm scared Not of demons and witches But the real hustle School built a comfort zone A chance for allowance from old ones Now it's time to move out And hustle. My default life ends Now I can be who I want to be No scolds from parents But from hustle
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May 19, 2015
May 19, 2015 at 1:45 PM UTC
the hustle
An imaginary but desirable sense of control Created by the bully in my head Screaming at me, pressuring me, hurting me Encapsulating my mind as a second meninges. Impossible to separate my true thoughts From what it tells me, My conscious mind is tied to a cinder block And left to drown in its enticingly rough waves. My physical being constantly changing with the tide Unpredictable but regular, Shallow but deep. ****** into its infinite black hole, I am left feeling disgusted and ashamed Of all that is me. No longer am I able to decide the way in which My needs are met-if in fact they are met. As though I have DID, I am constantly bouncing From alter to alter Body to body. Blinded from looking directly into its sun, I am warmed and comforted by its rays While reassured that my doubts are unwarranted. If ever defied, it scolds and whips me, Like a master to his slave, A father to his child. The welts and cuts, gratefully rip into my Skin, muscle and bone – Punishment for my wrongdoings and self. I, immediately silenced Remove myself from society, Restricting contact, nourishment and emotions To nil. It is not until someone notices The beginnings of an eternal invisibility, That I am released and Able to breathe in The salty air of life.
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Jun 20, 2012
Jun 20, 2012 at 9:29 PM UTC
An Eating Disorder Defined
how sad to be misunderstood to be evicted from life to have the full tenure of a torrid human existence gesture horribly at you in faultless reputation like that of a rancid rage over a lost trinket or to be quarantined while fingerless skin scolds and noiseless voices are raised in a donated generosity of savage ignorance striving to make copious amends in vain efforts to regrettable slow acting poison that boils the mind oh how sad to be misunderstood such varicose viciousness oh it’s sad quite sad to be misunderstood to live through and inoculated hour glass giving limitless time to a wildfire of idiocy and when your breath speaks they laugh black laughter that shatters wet umbilical truths shudders knowledge gestures to smoking nostrils oh how sad, how sad it is to be misunderstood to be drenched in the rain but not get wet in which antiquity rests with its mythologised stupendous ill effects getting vivid shadows massed all around oh how sad it is to be misunderstood until dactylic, hexameter, elegance completes and slithering syllables by their antiquity focus a shuddering shriek that sends an exploding heart through your chest
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Oct 3, 2013
Oct 3, 2013 at 4:56 PM UTC
how sad to be misunderstood
I miss my childhood everyday This missing increases day by day I miss those days of happiness which were full of joy and naughtiness I miss my grandpa's magnificent love I miss my grandma's food serve I miss my village and my darling home Now I am sad and alone I was used to go garden daily evening where I see the day changing I play their with my friends who were perfect in that and were legends I miss stealing of mango from trees I miss those mountainy friendly trees I miss play of hide and seek we hide on guava's great peak I miss my fields and ponds I miss that sweet smell of my lands I miss the scolds of elders I miss my village builders I miss my grandpa's old shoulders I miss my village's brave soldiers I miss my cow's sweet milk I miss my cranky and playful tricks No one can return my childhood And that hunt for fruits in woods I have left my childhood very far But I need life like that with no bar I am hungry for that love of village my hunger becomes more with age In this world of stress and worries I want back my childhood glories Life is such a name That plays with everyone, a different game But in every game there is some hopeful ray I miss my childhood everyday. (27 march 2010, Lucknow)
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Sep 15, 2012
Sep 15, 2012 at 6:28 PM UTC
I miss my childhood
TEACHING TIMOTHY TO READ ( for Maureen ) She is teaching Timothy to read even though she can't read herself. Tongue firmly in cheek she traces the words with a tiny fingertip that knows the story off by heart she could read it in the dark. She is "pretending reading." She has my every nuance and pause by rote making great efforts to teach Timothy the puppy but Timothy the puppy is more interested in the un-thrown stick. Timothy the puppy thinks this reading lark is strictly for the humans. "Once..." she begins in a Fairy Tale-ish voice. Timothy the puppy barks in acknowledgement. "Throwthestickthrowthestick!" Timothy the Puppy's mind thinks. "...upon a time a long long time ...ago!" Timothy the puppy looks adoringly at his little mistress with such an immensity of love and licks her finger as it travels over the words the story's journey. "Oh you..!" she scolds "...are not even paying attention!" "It's no good...I give up!" she frowns at the unhappy creature throwing the book away in a prissy hissy fit. Timothy the puppy full of the joys of a dog's life ( it's the only life he knows ) chases the fluttering pages that fly like an exotic bird brings Hans Christian Anderson back his mouth full of words.
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Oct 16, 2018
Oct 16, 2018 at 5:42 PM UTC
TEACHING TIMOTHY TO READ ( for Maureen )
The comfiest human bed warmer I ever had, My fundamental tutor of the good and the bad, The original storyteller in my bedtime tantrums, The resident photographer of my birthday albums. The accidental magician who tricked me out of my worries, A sympathetic dictator who scolds but allows my fancies, My biased talent manager who always tells me I'm the best, The loudest cheerleader who puts to shame all the rest. The world's underrated chef cooking heavenly meals, Our unpaid laundry lady worrying over water bills, The overqualified nurse never leaving her patient, Our top-notch budget analyst negotiating every payment. The random gardener, she can grow anything with ease, Our talkative historian, she stops recalling only if we say please, The uncanny philosopher, we've learned a lot from her, The lost and found administrator, tracking things hidden anywhere. The most efficient multitasker I've ever known, My trustworthy adviser who knows me down to my bones, A tough fighter who keeps winning her every battle, My life's co-creator and this world's greatest mother.
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May 13, 2017
May 13, 2017 at 7:44 PM UTC
The Versatile Matriarch
Yeah, dad, I love Math class cos something is always adding up there like just the other day the teacher’s plants at the window started growing square roots The teacher reckons that’s cos “the windows are squares, if you notice” - but I reckon it’s cos we’ve mostly got squares in class And the teacher when she thinks someone has done something good, she says: “Oh, you are an angle!” and when she’s cross she goes: “I’ve told you n times” or “I’ve told you n+ 4 times” Yeah, we learn lots of stuff in Math class like next week we going to learn about Algeria; but I’m not sure if my Math teacher is OK in the head though cos one day she tells us 3+2 = 5 and another day she insists 4+1= 5 (is that what you mean when you say mum can never make up her mind?) And she tells me not to use my tables and she scolds me then when I do my division on the floor But I’ll say one thing about her though - she’s so passionate about Math my teacher is she carries around a picture in her wallet of a big plus sign with a guy nailed to it
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Jan 23, 2014
Jan 23, 2014 at 1:35 AM UTC
happenings in the Math classroom
MY LITTLE RAY OF SUNSHINE my little ray of sunshine waiting on my desk for my hand to write words my little ray of sunshine points to pen & paper "Ok...ok!" I say today no ray my desk empty of sunshine & words my little ray of sunshine playing upon my desk searching for words my little ray of sunshine scolds me my lack of words I turn my little ray of sunshine into words my little ray of sunshine looks at itself in words smiles
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Jan 11, 2020
Jan 11, 2020 at 6:53 AM UTC
MY LITTLE RAY OF SUNSHINE
She knows she’s young She’s lost her fun In so little years She’s filled with so many fears Her momma scolds Tells her she’s she got no hold She sits and reads Matilda Momma says to go out with her sister She’s told she’s not pretty She says she’s just a kid They tell her without a boyfriend She cannot play with them She loves to Skip She loves her toys She just wants friendship Doesn’t matter with girls or with boys And as sixth grade ends and she’s lost her friends Who are so eager to go and grow up She decides to keep quietly to herself Or else they’ll tell her to shut up She loves being a kid Still wants to play pretend Doesn’t want to worry about makeup Doesn’t want to worry about growth Doesn’t want to style her hair, just wants to keep it short Told she looks like a boy but she likes being different Doesn’t want to be irreverent She still feels like she’s eleven And just wants to keep on shining Wants to keep looking at the world as amazing She doesn’t know what to do She loves a man who’s 22 She knows she is much too young And knows he thinks of her as young and dumb He gives her a smile and walks on by He calls her a “Pop **** and gives her a high five She dreams 10 years going by When she’s allowed to be in his life But she thinks then he’ll have a wife And she’ll just dream of being the lonely bride Will she have another chance Was this her only shot? She wonders what high school will be like Will she be able to have another start? She still wishes to make her mama proud But she just wants a well primed child She couldn’t be a beauty queen And couldn’t dance or sing She just likes to climb trees and read And she still wants that into her teens For this little twelve year old girl Life was a nonstop whirl The days go by too fast She feels pretty soon she’ll be looking her last As all her schoolmates gossip and change She still wants to remain strange She thinks about him everyday And the days remain the same, The same She’s older She’s getting older She’s getting older and she wants to go back She takes old pictures, puts them in order So that she can always look back Copyright © James Black |
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Jan 7, 2017
Jan 7, 2017 at 2:08 PM UTC
12 year old girl
She knows she’s young She’s lost her fun In so little years She’s filled with so many fears Her momma scolds Tells her she’s she got no hold She sits and reads Matilda Momma says to go out with her sister She’s told she’s not pretty She says she’s just a kid They tell her without a boyfriend She cannot play with them She loves to Skip She loves her toys She just wants friendship Doesn’t matter with girls or with boys And as sixth grade ends and she’s lost her friends Who are so eager to go and grow up She decides to keep quietly to herself Or else they’ll tell her to shut up She loves being a kid Still wants to play pretend Doesn’t want to worry about makeup Doesn’t want to worry about growth Doesn’t want to style her hair, just wants to keep it short Told she looks like a boy but she likes being different Doesn’t want to be irreverent She still feels like she’s eleven And just wants to keep on shining Wants to keep looking at the world as amazing She doesn’t know what to do She loves a man who’s 22 She knows she is much too young And knows he thinks of her as young and dumb He gives her a smile and walks on by He calls her a “Pop **** and gives her a high five She dreams 10 years going by When she’s allowed to be in his life But she thinks then he’ll have a wife And she’ll just dream of being the lonely bride Will she have another chance Was this her only shot? She wonders what high school will be like Will she be able to have another start? She still wishes to make her mama proud But she just wants a well primed child She couldn’t be a beauty queen And couldn’t dance or sing She just likes to climb trees and read And she still wants that into her teens For this little twelve year old girl Life was a nonstop whirl The days go by too fast She feels pretty soon she’ll be looking her last As all her schoolmates gossip and change She still wants to remain strange She thinks about him everyday And the days remain the same, The same She’s older She’s getting older She’s getting older and she wants to go back She takes old pictures, puts them in order So that she can always look back Copyright © James Black |
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64
Brandy, has been her drink of choice for as long as I can recall. It is again tonight. And as she scolds me, for my ungratefulness, she pours another glass. I made her feel terrible, about walking through the living room, with a spoonful of hot chili. It was ridiculous, but she couldn't tell. So I'll sip my wine upstairs, and hope that my mom doesn't leave.
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Feb 25, 2013
Feb 25, 2013 at 10:56 PM UTC
chili
MY LITTLE RAY OF SUNSHINE my little ray of sunshine waiting on my desk for my hand to write words my little ray of sunshine points to pen & paper "Ok...ok!" I say today no ray my desk empty of sunshine & words my little ray of sunshine playing upon my desk searching for words my little ray of sunshine scolds me my lack of words I turn my little ray of sunshine into words my little ray of sunshine looks at itself in words smiles
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Jan 12, 2019
Jan 12, 2019 at 12:45 AM UTC
MY LITTLE RAY OF SUNSHINE
BE THY OWN PALACE Seated beside her in the pew her doll listened intently to the Saviour who emerges from the old priest's mouth an ectoplasm of words as He manifests before her. "Is there a doll heaven?" she wonders. Her little mistress however is bored very bored indeed much more interested  in a sunbeam genuflecting before the altar extinguishing the priest's voice. Or the ladybird landing on a lady's foxfur it more jewel than the jewel worn. Picking her nose as the host is held aloft a bird perched upon the left shoulder of the crucifix the Christ a mere cypher how the artist fancied HIm. The crucified man smiling at her despite how boring the sermon is. Sunlight becoming colour travelling through stained glass. Her doll nods off falling at her feet "Shhhhhh!" father scolds both doll and daughter. Doll's head broken in four nothing inside but an emptiness all her thoughts evaporated. The smile still fixed on her porcelain face. Incense like death walking upon the air. The tiny ****** of a bell.
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Nov 2, 2018
Nov 2, 2018 at 6:54 PM UTC
BE THY OWN PALACE
It was after a long-awaited response (Which turned out to be a slap to the face Rather than a fresh kiss tinted with sunlight) That, instead of mournful silence (It is silence that I often miss), I giggled at a thought; I feel like a dog running alone in A cantaloupe field, Just a little melon collie. A small girl taps on my shoulder while I try to nurture the small smile playing on my lips. My face scolds it and life returns to its Regular programming, Leaving me with the wisp of happiness And the sense that he was wrong.
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Mar 16, 2015
Mar 16, 2015 at 5:07 PM UTC
Melancholy
Some starlit garden grey with dew, Some chamber flushed with wine and fire, What matters where, so I and you Are worthy our desire? Behind, a past that scolds and jeers For ungirt ***** and lamps unlit; In front, the unmanageable years, The trap upon the Pit; Think on the shame of dreams for deeds, The scandal of unnatural strife, The slur upon immortal needs, The treason done to life: Arise! no more a living lie, And with me quicken and control Some memory that shall magnify The universal Soul.
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2.5k
Some Starlit Garden Grey With Dew
GRANDFATHER CLOCK "When granda died he turned into a clock!" I was 7 or so, so this seemed an acceptable fact. "Oh we still kept him in the corner wound him up every night." I glanced at the nothing in the corner. There was only a slab of sunlight dozing. "Oh we had to pawn him a long time ago!" I gasped: "Noooo!" "Oh he had to go he had only one hand and his pendulum was broken." Sam the dog barks asks if I am coming out to play. I of course am coming out to play. Auntie Nellie scolds Uncle Michael. "For God's sake Mikey will ya ****** well stop!" Mikey sticks his tongue in cheek a characteristic tic. "Can't ya see the poor child is ejeet enough to believe ya!" Whenever later I chance to meet a clock that could be my granda I touch its face tenderly stroke the mottled glass "Ahhh Granda!" I smile giving him a great big hug. "TickTock!" says granda **** ****
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Mar 3, 2019
Mar 3, 2019 at 5:04 PM UTC
GRANDFATHER CLOCK
click clack click keys are pressed and the girl who is pressing them types away assignments are flooding her brain sigh can i do anymore? papers litter the desk blue light flooding the girl's face one thing's for sure she won't be able to sleep tonight typing on her laptop computer hair up dark room only light is coming from the computer and she hates it the clock reads 10:48 red led lighting up a small part of the room hardly bright enough to read click clack click squinting her eyes she leans forward there's not much more she can do a yawn escapes her mouth but she keeps working because she knows that she has to finish this tonight or wrath will be unleashed on her so she works and works stress on her mind papers full of unfinished work she knows she'll never finish it all but she could at least try another yawn escapes and she scolds herself for feeling tired but it isn't her fault as her eyes grow heavy and she falls asleep dreaming of unfinished papers
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Oct 25, 2018
Oct 25, 2018 at 1:41 PM UTC
late night work
The gaunt brown walls Look infinite in their decent meanness. There is nothing of home in the noisy kettle, The fulsome fire. The atmosphere Suggests the trail of a ghostly druggist. Dressings and lint on the long, lean table-- Whom are they for? The patients yawn, Or lie as in training for shroud and coffin. A nurse in the corridor scolds and wrangles. It's grim and strange. Far footfalls clank. The bad burn waits with his head unbandaged. My neighbour chokes in the clutch of chloral . . . O, a gruesome world!
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2.1k
Interior
*strong wind blows this morning through bush and garden through grove and orchard* 1 the bamboo sways and strokes the cheeks of the palm tree ha!ha!ha! and the palm tree protests loud and clear: *Take your hands off me you bamboo lecher! oh!oh!oh!* 2 and the gum tree scolds the dry leaves of the lilli-pilly that crawl to its ground: *Have you no respect for private property? Get back to your mummy! tchk! tchk! tchk!* 3 And the little blades of grass sway left and right and the mighty oak laughs: *Look at you! Look at you! You sway like clowns! he!he!he!* 4 And Strong Wind roars: *I just love it! I just love to stir things up! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!*
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Oct 16, 2010
Oct 16, 2010 at 8:00 PM UTC
strong wind blows
welcome to the courtroom where royal minds reside and Memory records where no feelings can hide. situation states the case at the stand allowing Conscience the right to speak at hand. a constant strife between Mental and Feel for Choice to ultimately seal the deal. Doubt gained its throne right next to Faith's; as Faith needs Doubt to keep it in place sadness silently hangs on the smile weighing down brows and heavy eyelids Sir Anger accuses all the while but Sadness knows what Sir Anger did. Inhibition fold arms in a hesitant state, as fear keeps him from accepting debate. Guilt scolds the Heart for hushing Conscience "conscience gives righteous advice to all, you should not allow your guard to fall!" Pain demands to be felt by the Heart, he's sent by Guilt to do his part. welcome to the courtroom of the mind.
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Nov 21, 2016
Nov 21, 2016 at 12:49 PM UTC
Courtroom of the Mind
TEACHING TIMOTHY TO READ ( for Maureen ) She is teaching Timothy to read even though she can't read herself. Tongue firmly in cheek she traces the words with a tiny fingertip that knows the story off by heart she could read it in the dark. She is "pretending reading." She has my every nuance and pause by rote making great efforts to teach Timothy the puppy but Timothy the puppy is more interested in the un-thrown stick. Timothy the puppy thinks this reading lark is strictly for the humans. "Once..." she begins in a Fairy Tale-ish voice. Timothy the puppy barks in acknowledgement. "Throwthestickthrowthestick!" Timothy the Puppy's mind thinks. "...upon a time a long long time ...ago!" Timothy the puppy looks adoringly at his little mistress with such an immensity of love and licks her finger as it travels over the words the story's journey. "Oh you..!" she scolds "...are not even paying attention!" "It's no good...I give up!" she frowns at the unhappy creature throwing the book away in a prissy hissy fit. Timothy the puppy full of the joys of a dog's life ( it's the only life he knows ) chases the fluttering pages that fly like an exotic bird brings Hans Christian Anderson back his mouth full of words.
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Oct 9, 2017
Oct 9, 2017 at 7:36 AM UTC
TEACHING TIMOTHY TO READ( for Maureen )
The soft burning candle flame dripping liquid wax, melting as the passion scolds those too bold and free. A pressed moment; bodies pressed together - communion. Like meat-machines ******* is that what you said? (are you dead? and if not, why am I talking to the sky?)
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Aug 24, 2011
Aug 24, 2011 at 7:15 AM UTC
Guacamole
gentle, but hesitant he lifts the china to his lips, and like the tea scolds his tongue, he punishes himself. at this time,10:30 a.m, weekdays she brewed the same Seattle cinnamon that now flooded his system with her memory; through Puget Sound and evaporated into constant cloudy skies that pour rain into the mind of a man of many mistakes; last of which being losing her and the comfort she brought; something as constant and as taken for granted as the weather.
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Sep 18, 2015
Sep 18, 2015 at 7:30 PM UTC
habits//puget sound
Idyllic sensations of fingertips gliding across unspoiled flesh Kisses fill in the gaps left by words unspoken Bright eyes meet and exchange heavy glances of infatuation Souls clinging to the inexperienced adoration, praying it stays fresh The luxury of hearts yet to be broken Blooming lust like budding carnations Petals flittering about in cold springtime sun Flippant and apathetic about what the future holds Never expecting to be crushed under the boot of a world-weary passerby Despite pressure to crumble apart, the petals cling together until their lives together are done The heavy feeling of eyes cast upon young lovers, bystanders recanting the most terrible scolds Are no match for star-crossed lovers, too entangled in emotions to be pulled apart by outside forces, and too far gone to say goodbye.
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Mar 28, 2013
Mar 28, 2013 at 11:36 PM UTC
Young Love