"putrefied" poems
my darkest poems
bloodletting streams
are a kind of ******
fetishy cognitive inventory
malformed denizens
of the subconscious
a well of torments
soup of Salmonella
the souls gut
its cauldron
yet not with out lurid enticements
and voluptuous supplicants
gorgeous
like an eight legged woman
with beautiful feet
drooling **** lips
drunk on sacrificial rituals
of blood black tongued kisses
and hideous contorted pleasures
********
once
exquisite archetypes
gods and goddesses
are now
putrefied
cellar dwellers
moaning in nature bed crypts
of rock, stone
and engraved sigils
because honest pure desires
became fragmentary
and are now gimping amputees
by legions of primal disappointment
while faces blare in the world
like super bright L.E.D.s
shinning paths to others
our deep self
remains patinaed in tears
a black box pox with a lock
the skeleton key lost
in arcane seas
out of utter disgust
for those dark crawlers
that live within us
revealing them selves
as anxieties, depressions
suicides
and myriad quiet despairs
we appear undaunted
to others
and they to us
humanity
muffled ticks
and splintered sticks
my poems let my demons out
yoo who its me
my name is spray snake z
with my hooks and cries
and dark blood skies
in the misty night
i dragged out their earthen coffins
legends of the despicable
resurrected them
fed and loved those darklings
had every conceivable union with them
their healing, my own
ive sexualized them
and found love
albeit twisted
to be adored
in a hidden embrace
i bestow upon you a poetic fantasy
while obsession takes hold
bind it not
nor let it bind you*
Sep 6, 2016
Sep 6, 2016 at 9:32 AM UTC
With a blistered heart
From unnumbered breaks,
A cloud of unshed tears
From untold betrayals,
I reenter the world
After an eternity or more
Of self imposed asylum
From a world of superficial bliss.
A world unchanged!
A cruel untended garden
Of deceptive beauty
And unkind thorny roses.
Lovelorn shadows,
Masquerading venomous claws
With beauteous flamboyance
And undesirable attraction.
Lethargic feelings,
Dousing my desires
With drowsing memoirs
Of countless emotional abuse,
Causing momentary spasms
In cerebral regions
Parading nocuous images
In the plenitude of projected beauty.
Scarred beyond immediate cure,
I recede from said world-
Too adverse for tender hearts
Back to hibernating moods
To nurse evergreen cuts
Cuts so deep, so lethal
Only the indolent strides of time
Can attempt to stitch!
Awaiting prophetic moments
Moments with mirage qualities
When in-love I can fall again
When a damsel I can trust again
When my heart can beat again
For one with pure intentions
Not putrefied by Hollywood mentors
*But virtuous in biblical ways*...
© Raphael Uzor
Apr 21, 2014
Apr 21, 2014 at 1:17 AM UTC
I’m thinking about the doctor's hands shaking as she
struggles to intubate a cat.
I’m thinking about the technician's hands squeezing the cat’s rib cage,
pulsing life with a delicate force; she is much more gentle than
practitioners are with humans—
hard and quick down with the palms; the ribs snapping,
the sternum sore.
Some time ago an 80-year-old woman on my unit was
opened up bedside for a cardiac procedure during a code.
After a week in ICU, she came back to us on the unit, was up and
walking and talking, and was discharged home within another week.
Meanwhile, the 60-year-old man was dead in the morgue
after a 45-minute code failed to resuscitate him.
The flip of the coin. The thin line. The blessing or the curse.
The absolute darkness of a body bag. The cold chill of absolute zero.
The fresco painted on the catacomb walls could either depict the
light of the sun or the multicolored lights that the
brain shoots off minutes before death.
The eleventh hour,
isn’t that what it’s called?
We don’t want to talk about body care, death care.
We have to, but it won’t register.
After a loss, after a trauma,
we are on autopilot.
I think of my mother,
six feet beneath frozen soil in
a pink padded casket and think:
I don’t want that.
I think of the prearranged plots my grandparents picked out
next to her in an above ground crypt and think:
I don’t want that.
Bacteria still causes decay after the embalming process.
Putrefied flesh. Bones visible. Muscles eaten. Tissues disintegrated.
We don’t talk about it.
We try to think the opposite. The positive vs the negative.
(But that’s not always possible or healthy.)
I’m thinking about hands inserting IVs, hands taking
blood pressures, hands documenting the code notes
on a clipboard in the back of the room.
I couldn’t do these things.
My hands tend to break what they touch.
The glass bowl in the pet store.
The clay project in art class.
The succulents, the basil, the orchid.
I’m good at things I don’t have to think about:
good at the autopilot, good at the autonomic,
good at trauma.
Nov 19, 2020
Nov 19, 2020 at 2:47 AM UTC
There's a hole in my wall which the wind whistles through
And the wallpaper's mouldy and calamine blue
The carpet besmirched with a decade of grime
And the pattern is lost to a happier time
The journals and books where my memories stay
Have mixed and submerged in a fearful array
The curtains hang tattered in woeful neglect
Where the mildew and fungus and beetles collect
There's a hole in the floor where the mice have a nest
Where the walls creak and groan like a cancerous chest
And a puddle emerges from under the door
Like a serpent, it winds on the laminate floor
Underfoot, fragments of crockery crunch
Still stained with the leavings of long ago lunch
There's a rattle and scratching of verminous claws
The spoon never stirs so the *** never pours
There's a crack in the window that lets in the rain
Where it runs in a rivulet right down the pane
The mattress is rotten and rusted inside
Bacteria thrive and amoeba divide
The ceiling is sagging from waterlogged beams
And catches the sunlight with putrefied gleams
Like powder, the plaster is fast in retreat
With it's choking secretions, the air is replete
There's a trace of a life that was never fulfilled
Like a drink only sipped and then carelessly spilled
There's hope of a future and trinkets amassed
But frittered away and consigned to the past
The wires are old but the bulbs are still new
And pictures of vigor are hanging askew
As if from existence, vitality blinked
A carcass remaining though life is extinct
Feb 12, 2013
Feb 12, 2013 at 11:10 AM UTC
You chided and misguided--
Sighed and chided snidely--
While I stood there and deified:
Your opinion was once so sanctified
That it petrified and putrefied
'Til I was drawn to suicide.
And I won't lie,
I doubt that you'd have even cried.
Now this patricide's not emblemized;
Not glorified nor a source of pride.
It's just that I've been rectified;
I'm satisfied and verified.
You see, old man, your claims have been denied.
I stride beside a stronger pride,
We're unified, not terrified,
And, were you here, I'd just...
Laugh.
Sure,
We simplify and vilify,
All that we fear, but I--
I can't bring myself to cry;
I'll no longer will myself to die--
Because, in the end I'm just too high
To even look you in the eye.
I've modified and purified.
And, while you're compelled
to sit and hide,
I'm glorified--self deified--
And your podium's is now occupied
By the one who you once toxified.
And NONE of it's been for you.
No, old man, it's not for you!
Mar 16, 2014
Mar 16, 2014 at 1:49 AM UTC
Loyal to my art I am
this is all I am
I am at the edge
by will I destroy you
If you really knew my name
you would so **** your pants
I maybe too f...ing kind
not to crucifier you
My name is of the wings of Angels
don't think you can ever touch me
I wipe my blooded feet at heavens gate
for the liken putrefied **** of you
No Mercy will be given
you ****** off the wrong bird
this one will f**k you up
for I write hatred most observed
Glory to God
And the death of you
By Christos Andreas Kourtis aka NeonSolaris
Dec 6, 2013
Dec 6, 2013 at 12:01 AM UTC
You've cut ff your feet
to spite your head
Is there nothing left
in between?
is your whole life
blackened
and squandered
rotted and
gnarled
by gangrene?
*Join me, come in.
Cavort with the dead
Join me, come in.
I can't be alone in my head.*
How can you sit
there
with blood on your face
and not feel
it dry to a crust?
How can you sit
there
with gore on your hands
knowing you shiver
from lust?
*Join me, come in.
Cavort with the dead.
Join me, come in.
I can't be alone in my head.
You, too, must feel torment
and torture.
You, too, must be plagued
without cure.*
Where are you going?
to hell and not back?
Did you buy your ticket
to ride?
or
will you walk
into
the bottomless pit
draped with your badges
flesh putrefied?
Heads on lapels like
an Easter corsage
dead lilies like
those on a grave,
a grave that you dug
then
stepped in to forage
to eat as a worm of the flesh.
Flesh young and tender
that flamed with desire
till your curse
extinguished
the fire.
*Join me, come in.
Come into my fire.
Join me, come in.
We'll wade through
the mire
with blood
in our mouths
and our eyes.
Taste of the pain,
the glorious pain.
Like a gift
I give it to you,
offered again and again,
a philanthropist
swollen with bounty,
who bestows what
he has
like a prize.*
May 2, 2017
May 2, 2017 at 6:11 PM UTC
Part I: The Elegy of the ******
O we all hail from the pits of ashes, coals, and tar
And crawled out from the crater, of that northern cold star
All ye heart’s wish is to stand in the pope’s grand pulpit
All souls unknowingly swindled, ye vainly submit!
Then, if apes be to humans and humans be to gods;
Unto stones we spit out our apostasies and sobs
We strip our skins to this detestable madness,
From darkness once lurked, we go back with ill fondness
So we adorn ourselves with profane golden idols
On our hands, feet, and neck; to cover our vile souls
And ye stab thine own neighbor, to fulfill thine own ploys
Thou hath betrayed thyself, for that thirty silver coins
As a putrefied heart turn to a hardened stone,
So it breaks into dust, as gusts of shame strews it alone
Woe to me! How do I redeem my lost poor soul?
If the wroth Maker hath already taken my toll
Oct 2, 2014
Oct 2, 2014 at 4:55 AM UTC
the phone rings,
**** its already late
I dress up past, I grab my things
rushing out through the gate
it was a grey rainy day,
the shoe lace was untied.
stepping on the puddles through the alleyway
I smelt the leftovers cornered to be putrefied
in the distance i heard the foghorn bray
and then suddenly the ipod died,
it wasn't the slightest idea of my heyday
and so it made me stupefied.
the alley never seem to end.
for once I was hoping for a commotion.
and then it made a slight bend
and a shadow appeared at the cross section.
everything got a trascend blend
looked like life moved ahead in a slow motion.
the figure was human like
and with each tick it moved slowly-closer.
my body was abruptly covered with spike,
as the motion became tenser.
the cold hit me like a pike,
yet my mind said he was just a bypasser.
I knew I shouldn't have been there.
I stared the figure drenched in the rain.
all I wanted to do now was run anywhere
before it blew away my brain.
before I could make my escape
he cought me by my arm.
his eyes were cold and senseless
but his hands felt delicate.
for a seond life became aimless
as I became his captivate.
his charm was flawless
his beauty was the least I could appreciate.
he suddenly let go of me
I stared into his eyes and realized I must leave
I turned around and made my move away......
TO BE CONTINUED...
May 13, 2011
May 13, 2011 at 9:04 PM UTC
Endless void of articulate delusions and vicious delirious,
Dark thoughts fills crippled lungs;
Calling, screaming, find the truth,
To society shadow, the putrefied soul.
Wicked mind, weeping life,
Monstrous thoughts, haunt the mind,
Depression, misery, sees me right,
In this depraved time we call night.
Nefarious illusions of weak land;
Weep, beg, for the execution of men;
This articulate delusions hold the hand,
Of the black torch of burned plans.
The archetype of flawless man,
See the day of the mystic shine,
Created by love of bright schemes,
And Annihilated by the thought of wicked minds.
Such Reapers haunt the barren lands,
In search for one, true light;
Mist riddled, hidden in sight,
It transforms the mind to unparalleled cry.
Jul 30, 2017
Jul 30, 2017 at 8:48 AM UTC
Stranded and standing stark naked
Looking longingly for lost love;
Pulling pounds of putrefied protoplasm
From your feeble foundation;
You exist in an enigmatic environment of errors.
Your words ache and your blood seethes and your mind tremors
At the offenses of time since passed.
Give up the fight; you're careening towards a cataclysmic crash of capacious proportions.
Nov 2, 2012
Nov 2, 2012 at 9:34 PM UTC
in the garden of my heart
God planted a mustard seed
gave me the gloves
& departed
i gave the mustard seed
love & devotion
& for a while
rooted myself in
God’s ground
and then the roots spread
some into the soil
& some into the gravel
& in the gravel i found
most of my sustenance
the devil had found his way
into my garden
& his ashes spread over the fertile ground
suffocating & sterilizing
the roots in the soil of God
found no water & withered
until they crumbled like dust
a ghost of ancient veins
& for a while i found my happiness
the devil can make rotten fruit
taste like the sweetest honey
so long as you smile
for him
until one day
the devil grew tired of my smiles
& he found doubt in my heart
his fruit was not so sweet now
my roots withered & burned & putrefied
even in the gravel that had once been my home
i was a mustard seed
small & scared & alone
i found my love & devotion
and was careful to sow only in the soil,
though only on the edges
for surely God could not forgive
i had eaten the forbidden fruit
until one day
God beckoned me further from the edges
He gave me love & devotion
just as i had given my mustard seed
under His love i grew
and spread my roots firmly in the soil
and there i was no longer a mustard seed
but a lily blossom
Feb 19, 2016
Feb 19, 2016 at 7:28 PM UTC
i braved the primordial instrumentality
that ancient architect of my necrotic geometry
wich expressed those waves
that mercilessly envelop your white cliff walls
but this prophecy reveals all things
and i cannot fail
in my absolute perception
of your constant rivers
sacred destinations
the dark repeats itself
and it always plays the same symphonic hell
the agony repeats itself
your movements communicate
the intrinsic cthnonic lie
i dream of disintegration
i want to make love for a thousand nights
and kiss that mortal plasma
a precarious alloy of souls
but i am doomed to dream
dreams i may never touch
i'm a pathetic raging animal
ensnared in chains of violation
i want to explode in sensual ecstasy
as your philosophical knives
carves the most beautiful and elder of runes
into my putrefied flesh
but i feel nothing
i want to destroy you with my kiss
but your love is not strong enough
Apr 22, 2014
Apr 22, 2014 at 11:11 PM UTC
You are a loathsome creature
In death, you elicit sympathy
Your mental illness is your scapegoat
How could you **** so many?
The rage you felt
Turned outward towards the innocent
So many awash with the blood
Adam, high priest of perdition
You are not alone in your complicity
Did the NRA whisper sweet nothings in your ear?
Your father wishes you were never born
You’re your father’s scapegoat
You have uncovered a putrefied wound
That we are unwilling to heal
May 25, 2014
May 25, 2014 at 8:22 AM UTC
I’ve died a time or two
and had men try to make me new.
I’ve had my body dug up
by shovels and hands cut.
I’ve been sprawled out
laid down and washed about.
I’ve had tissue excised
burnt around the edges and cauterized.
I’ve been bled dry
left in the sun and putrefied.
I’ve been patched up
glued together and stapled shut.
I’ve had my hair brushed
face painted and voice hushed.
I’ve been gently dressed
socks clean and dress pressed.
I’ve had a role to play
lacking dialogue and out of the way.
I’ve been the perfect date
unnatural but one you chose to create.
Apr 17, 2019
Apr 17, 2019 at 4:44 PM UTC
No other task have I witnessed more arduous,
than crawling out of the filth of our souls.
Black stain of self destruction,
the cynical hatred of life clinging to each heartbeat like weeds on a home
once majestic,
but abandoned to ruin.
Such frustrated sadness in the hindered steps of a man retreading the same path,
searching for confidence which waits off the beaten trail.
You can teach the tools of self discovery,
but cannot force hands to wield
while they fumble over unnecessary burdens still being held.
The world does not corrupt us,
we corrupt ourselves.
We build the walls around us that become a sanctuary or a prison,
but no wall is strong enough to withstand the will of a determined man.
Find your courage and I'll do the same.
We can crawl away from the putrefied ruins and be reminded of who we once dreamed to be.
Destroy yourself and rebuild again and again until you are monumental once more.
Jan 4, 2016
Jan 4, 2016 at 10:45 PM UTC
In the dark labyrinth penetrates no light
Sight like all else is out of sight
There’s no virtue no wrong or right
Nothing but evil and evil shines bright!
It’s the breeding ground for the darkest of thoughts
Putrefied stinking around it darkness clots
Where is such place where can we find?
It’s lying within us, it’s our mind!
Jun 19, 2013
Jun 19, 2013 at 2:27 AM UTC
The Lay of the Land
If my thoughts had wings
Or better still had arrows and a bow
To pierce your heart
You will open your emerald eyes
As only seen in the sea of Greenland
Seek my embrace
We will be the sky and the earth
Filling the air with fog
Before we make love
Our Titanic love is too great for
Sluggish humanity to clasp
Kiss me slowly caress me long
And we will purify a putrefied world.
Feb 1, 2016
Feb 1, 2016 at 1:56 PM UTC
(The Phoenix)
How do I find me?.
I thought I knew where I was, but I died.
And could not find where I’m buried.
If I find myself fast enough I’ll be able to come alive again.
I hope I do before I get putrefied.
But my soul is a fire.
Setting aflame the light that I need to find me.
Aug 5, 2019
Aug 5, 2019 at 4:42 PM UTC
The light of hue of stiffened corpses
Pervades the air while fallen horses
Lie there dead with maggots crawling
Inside theirs putrefied abdomens
While the residues of slaughter
Precipitate with birds a-rotten
Falling from the crimson sky,
Being portents of the nigh
Impending blizzard of
Disaster
Which is too Strong to try to cast it
Out from these dooméd lands
While in the mean time weaken hands
Of our Great King to cease determine
Not; but nor fair mornings
Our Greatest King shall see
So to the Moon his final plea
He offers, docile, week and feeble
While in his neck the poisoned needle
Is put by his most loyal friend,
But this all shall come to an end;
So, lo, dear friend, to thee I bring
The head of our Fallen King!
Dec 21, 2019
Dec 21, 2019 at 3:55 PM UTC