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thomezzz Jan 7
i wish i had loved you better
told you that your hair looked nice
hugged you when you cried
or laughed when your punchlines really stuck

i wish i had loved you better
that i didn’t hurt you out of anger
make you feel less than you were worth
or put you down every chance i got

i wish i had loved you better
read those books you always wanted me to
danced to the songs you played on the stereo
or bought that dress you really wanted to wear

i wish i had loved you better
that i didn’t call your writing silly
delete the words you spent so much time putting together
or convince you that it would amount to nothing

i wish i had loved you better
took compliments about you in stride
begun more conversations with strangers
or looked in the mirror more often

i wish i had loved you better
that i didn’t scar your body with your own hands
starve you and make you cry at the scale
or keep you up at night about your past mistakes

i wish i had loved you better.
thomezzz Jan 3
I remember a few months back
You telling me about the time
Where you were knocked unconscious
How there was nothing but black
And a sharp stillness that you’ll never forget
I remember how much it frightened me
To know how fragile our role in this life is
How quickly it could be snuffed out to nothing

Jump to yesterday
When you told me the same story
About the darkness, the cold, the nothing
However, this time it didn’t feel as scary
As foreboding or bleak
Instead of cowering behind fear
I responded,
“How peaceful to be alone without any thoughts?”
thomezzz Jan 3
i've crossed the widest oceans
made of violent waters of the deepest blue
watched the glittering fish swim beneath me
and listened to them sing their soothing tunes
their songs, while beautiful in nature,
none of them I found to be true

i've climbed the highest peaks
made of weathered ground as cold as ice
watched sunrises flicker against sheets of white
and memorized their steepness in price
their colors, while beautiful in nature,
none of them I found to be paradise

i've walked the endless prairies
made of yards and yards of dry weeds
watched flocks of silken butterflies take flight
and witnessed a million tiny ant legs stampede
their freedom, while beautiful in nature,
none of them I found to be freed

i've explored the darkest caverns
made of massive black granite tombstones
watched the leftover light be snuffed out
and felt the fearful chill in my bones
their emptiness, while beautiful in nature,
none of them I found to be alone
thomezzz Dec 2019
She never was the friendliest girl in the room
But sometimes, her laugh was the loudest
And boomed across the room
Catching the attention of private conversations
It was probably a laugh
Not really worthy of the joke that was told
But still, it came out of the mouth
Of maybe not the most talkative girl in the room

She never was comfortable in her own skin
But sometimes, she dressed to impress
With an outfit she put tremendous thought into
It was probably an expensive dress
Too formal for whatever occasion it was
But still, it was strategically worn
By maybe the most insecure girl in the room

She never was the smartest girl in the room
But sometimes, her cleverness was noted
And she received a nod from the table
It was probably a random trivia fact
Too obscure to really matter in the long run
But still, it was casually mentioned
By maybe not the brightest girl in the room

She never was the prettiest girl in the room
But sometimes, she would catch your eye
And those little imperfections suddenly made sense
It was probably just the drinks
Too strong for your own good
But still, she looked beautiful
Maybe not being the prettiest girl in the room
thomezzz Dec 2019
take a look at broken love
like a ticking grandfather clock
with heavy moments passing through
minuscule motions of crisscrossing hands
the thum of time beating in weather worn chests

take a look at broken love
like a melting ice cream cone
with sticky sweet liquid seeping onto
similarly sticky juvenile fingertips
the heat of summertime shimmering against butter pecan

take a look at broken love
like a shoot ‘em up film
with crafty bullets zigzagging across
rolling reels of burning celluloid
the sound of gunshots blasting into your ears

take a look at broken love
like a fragrant red rose
with outstretched crimson petals cradling
passive pinpoints of dripping relief
the delicacy of liquid clinging onto fragile flesh
thomezzz Dec 2019
she’s vulnerable
flesh carved out of velvet
blood as thin as water
mind as malleable as clay
it appealed to you, this softness
of touch in the morning
of voice in your ear
of bleeding heart beating
you sought it out
her hair as soft as silk
the sunshine off her sternum
her mouth parted and wet
she’s beautiful
the way she fits with you
her hand wrapped around your own
her laughter filling your silence

but without warning,
her soft touch turned to
a million bugs underneath your skin
her voice melted into
the shrillest sound at night
her vulnerability withered into
a weakness you couldn’t escape
you tried to let her down gently
as gently as she let you in
but you misstepped
and let her destroy herself.
thomezzz Sep 2019
i caught perfection
my hands awash in a masterpiece
but when i finally held you close
i became waterlogged in you

i tested your waters
dipped my toes in your coldness
but when i finally jumped in
i swallowed gallons of your turquoise
i bathed in your beauty
soaked in your cerulean shores
but when i finally let your tide take me
i drowned in your shallow end
i swam through your depths
deep-dived your current blues
but when i thought i finally hit your seafloor
i suddenly found myself in your abyss

i caught perfection
my hands wet with greatness
but when i finally realized your worth
i knew you had slipped just out of reach
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