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She's too passionate
and oversensitive
for this messy world -
She doesn't fit-in,
so she tries to stay out.

It's a constant
tug-of-war battle
between her fragile heart
and her delicate mind.
She can't help but feel too much -
peace of mind
is all that she ponders about.

She is gentle,
empathetic and intelligent,
but vulnerable -
she was born this way,

She has relived
this same hopeless feeling
every single blessed day.

She is an overthinker -
always reflecting,
always pensive...

Full of genuine love,
whilst drained by such pain;
she is beautifully oversensitive.

She's always lonely
amongst a crowd,

whilst completely lost
deep inside the belly
of the same-old dark cloud.

She's a beautiful, beautiful mess...

She gives her entirety--nothing less!

By Lady R.F. (C) 2017
Flyaway Spark Jul 2013
Sometimes I wonder
Am I oversensitive
Or are you plain mean.
I think it's both.
Aseh Nov 2015
When people accuse me of
being emotional or
oversensitive,
of playing the victim,
it invalidates me,
and then I feel small
and then furious tears brim my
emotional,
oversensitive,
victimized eyes

But as I'm trying to explain this
to you over cold chicken wings,
I go glassy and red with shame
because your words just put a cap
on my emotional allowance
and suddenly I see you
as just another dead end,
a road that leads
to an unlived life.

Are you a man or a prop, and am I
a fly from a web--
detaching, leaving weak limbs behind
in its grasp?
or am I the lone spider--
she who disorients
then releases
just before
venom hits
vein?
Harsh Dec 2014
October 18th, 1995. I was born a little more than a month early; Ma always says it’s because I’d thought of a good joke and couldn’t wait to share it with everyone. Dad says it was because I was too hungry.

Yes, my name is Harsh but I promise I’m a nice enough person. Harsh means happiness in Sanskrit and I’ve always worn that name tag proudly. I use the username "harshhappens" as an alternative to the unfortunate saying "**** happens." Happiness happens, too.

I’ve got my father’s temperament and my mother’s smile, but I love my mother’s temperament and my father’s smile wouldn’t fit my face. I look at the two of them and see a patched, two-tone mirror of myself. I’m scared of what I am taking from them and what I’m not.

My childhood was Pokemon and Legos, chocolate chip pancakes and milk, hugs from my grandparents and bedtime stories with mom. Oh, how I loved to read. If books were grape juice, I was an alcoholic.

I’ve got my share of adolescent acne, the bags under my eyes hold the weights of my sins and I’ve already got smile crinkles about my plain, dark eyes. My hair is usually combed to a side and turns into a beard as you trace down my sideburns. I dress like a trendy 80-year-old psychology professor sometimes, other times I dress like a wannabe-tumblr-model. Oh well.

My favorite colors are maroon and grey. I’m also colorblind. Go figure.

I’m going to school to help people and hopefully save them from themselves. Problems of the mind are at the root of our existence, and will continue to terrorize victims no matter how much money they earn, no matter how much *** they have, no matter how lovely their spouses are, no matter how big their houses are. When people go to sleep at night, they deserve to have peace of mind. I’d like to help with that. I know too many people who can't take it. I knew too many people who couldn't take it. No one deserves to go through that alone.

I’m a five-foot-ten-inch sculpture made without wax. If I’m nothing to you I’ll at least be genuine. I’m pockmarked and scarred in my own ways.

Music runs through my veins, along with endorphins and an appalling lack of iron. What I listen to can be like honey and sometimes it’s a hurricane. I’ve shed tears to music, it’s been a part of me for ages.

I don’t sleep very well.

I am an introvert in the most proper sense of the term. Sometimes I get oversensitive, and being with too many people or around certain people can get very overwhelming and intense, I tend to shut down in these instances. Just make eye contact with me and I’ll open up to you, I promise. I don’t like parties. I’d much rather sip a mug of coffee in my basement with a canvas in front of me and paint all down my jeans, or sit by my window and write my heart away. I’d rather take a long drive with the love of my life or take her to dinner. I don’t take pride in this solitude, I hate it most of the time. I wish I enjoyed myself at parties.

I’m scared of heights and of knives in the wrong hands. I’m also terrified of the dark.

I’m a hopeful romantic, it’ll take a lot for you to take hope away from me. I’ve been blessed with a girlfriend that is genuinely the best thing to ever happen to me. She’s the kind of girl that you work hard for but you know she’s **** worth it. She’s the kind of girl that teaches you things both about the world outside your bedroom and about the person inside your heart. She’s the kind of girl that makes you write poetry. I am plenty ******* up in my own way, but no one else can ever love the way I do; let that be a vice or virtue.

You could probably buy my soul off me for some chocolate. Or some nice lobster. Or mashed potatoes. I'm just a very hungry person.

It’s too late for my parent’s praise to mean anything to me, I needed it earlier. I live with a constant doubt that you can call self-consciousness or self-doubt. You can quote Freud all you want. I need constant reassurance that I’m worth anything to anyone and everyone and I look for it desperately. Sometimes when I get really bad I just want to hear a reason why I’m worth listening to. I am constantly trying to convince myself that I’m good enough. It’s frustrating for both me and my loved ones. I’m 150 pounds of waiting for someone to tell me that I try hard enough and that I’m all they need.

The best compliment anyone has ever given me was from my girlfriend. She said “I love your mind.”

I write because of my girlfriend. She woke up this primordial part of me that really just likes to put a pen to paper.

So, hi there. I’m Harsh. Nice to meet you.
My rendition of a Valentina Thompson piece
Shit Asstrology Jul 2015
Well, Neptune and his sad sack. What to say about the watery Fish? Nothing really. You slip around in life oversensitive to your own liquid shadow. You're far worse than Cancer when it comes to feelings and such, no wonder most of you remain lost throughout life, like a body snatcher, you dream the imaginary world of happy people and happy endings. A Disney disaster really, unable to be on your own for long, you need other people to keep you grounded and on the right track. Codependent anyone? Jesus Christ on a **** stick, I dated one of your kind and couldn't shake him, 25 voice mails later. Tragic really. But it's not all bad, you speak of posies, whisker woo-woo's, and butterfly kisses. Shut the **** up and reach into the real abyss of madness, you poser! Truly the "flake" of the zodiac, you dismiss common manners with some attitude of "Look at me, look how silly I am!" No jack ***, you're an irreverent ****/***** who has no considerations for others. Don't even get me started on the drug use, ya loser. Compassion? Go to church, don't come here.

Advice: Anything is possible when it happens, but for you, nothing ever happens. Wake up. Stop trying to find yourself and start creating yourself, you ******* *****.
SWB Jul 2011
A single scrap of paper

and the child within me springs to life-

the child with bed head and a LEGO fascination-

leads me up and down stairs on all fours;

lights my face, shines my smile

soaks my senses- oversensitive;

takes a horizon, gives me an infinite shadow box;

takes a coincidence, gives me providence;

reminds me that some trees are ladders,

the others are giants, like buildings but wiser;

makes me giggle, as the circles untangle;

makes me ask myself,

Are they following us?

Who made this video game?  What's a boat made of waffles?

makes me too excited to eat; gives me dessert first;

lets me eat infinite Twizzlers;

lets me laugh at all of the sleepy adults,

and stay up late talking about collective consciousness;

lets me decide, "next time I'm going to the nature park",

as long as I can talk to all of the statues and sculptures on the way;

lets me write till there's no more room.
I love it when you decide you're going to hate me for a week,
Even though you haven't made any attempts at any form of communication in 2.
I thoroughly enjoy when you lie about the little things,
And get mad when I tell the truth.
It's absolutely adorable when you say I'm oversensitive,
Then ignore me for a month when I make a joke.
It's great that you can decide to respond to me months later,
But I can't take 5 minutes.
I'm a ***** and a *****,
But you can't be mean.
It's cute when you pick everyone else over me,
But you have to be my number one.
I like when you want me to make conversation with you,
Then tell me everything I do and say is wrong.
It's great that you can hate me,
But I have to love you.
Your best quality is using my fears and secrets against me,
But you don't tell me any of yours.
Most of all, I love when you all do this at once,
Then drop like flies at a picnic.

I just don't understand you're logic.
You treat me like your childhood teddy bear,
That's only there to hold your tears.
Which I wouldn't mind doing regardless, but it's all the time.
I feel like I've watched you grow up.
From love, then confusion, fear, sadness and now an unrestrained hatred directed solely at me.
Gosh. What did I do? Why can't you tell me? Why can none of you just tell me already?

I won't give up, because you know I can't. It's not my nature to walk away, ever.
Even when I'm not wanted. Or needed. Even when I know I'm not. I could never be, Nanny McPhee.
You know I won't call you, or disturb you when you're with your friends,
Because you know I'm scared of them.
The lying doesn't bother me as much,
But sometimes it's unnecessary and it still hurts.
I know I'm oversensitive sometimes,
And you're helping me get over myself,
But I can tell you've still got a long way to go.
I don't keep the battery in my phone anymore.
I don't want to get my hopes up that someone will try to talk to me, since they never do anyways.
There are no secrets and no trust. Yeah. It's all gone.
There's no thought anymore.
Your team is all the people you want,
Because why chose 5 of 5 when you could chose 4.
It's one less opportunity for me to be ignored.
I'm awkward in every sense of the word, and you should have learned that by now.
Please stop making social interaction more difficult for me.
New people are difficult enough, when I still feel weird around you.
I thought it was a joke at first, after all of your abuse,
But I've learned a lot this life, about what my friendships must include.
If I have two friends, than they must hate eachother, and eventually one hates me and leaves, than the remaining one must wait a bit before following suit.
I don't know why you always chose me as an advantage for your own personal gain. Maybe I'm the only idiot that doesn't know when to shut up.
The kind you can manipulate without me realizing until it's too late. Naive. Clueless.
No one's ever on my side.
You're all always together, against me,
And I can't even take one of you, so why bother trying anymore.

I don't fit in with you and your friends.
You don't want me there anyways.
Because you don't need me, until they're all busy.
But I need you, and you know I do.
I hate when you use that as an excuse.
Not sleeping tonight.
One and Only Jun 2016
Breathe in
Breathe out.
"It'll be over soon"

"It isn't going to be fine"

"All will be forgotten then forgiven"

"But what if it won't go back to normal"

"Relax, you're over-reacting"

"What if it's hopeless?? What can I do then??"

Breathe in, Breathe out
"You can and you will"
You can do this. You can survive. You don't need to live. You can survive. You'll look back at this and realize this is stupid. But for now all you need is support. You love him, it's all that matters.
Jessica May 2019
About a month ago I cried because I couldn't find my favourite pair of socks. Last week I cried because I forgot my AP books in my locker, and I couldn't do the homework that I wouldn't have been able to bring myself to do in the first place. Yesterday I cried because my cookies didn't come out just right.

I cry. A lot. About everything.

I have been called everything from oversensitive to a baby to overdramatic. I
mean, haha, I clearly really wanted to wear those socks because now my whole day is ruined. I am extremely good at making something out of nothing.

Being this kind of sad is funny that way, no inconvenience is a minor inconvenience, it's all the end of the world or might as well be.

But I go with it. I joke about my tears and their daily visits.

I also joke about my anger and the chair I kicked resulting in a dislocated toe. I joke about the things I've thrown and the people that make my hands clench at my sides. I joke about it because it's easier than explaining it. I don't like my anger.

So, I've learnt how to turn my angry into lonely and my lonely into busy.
How do I explain that when I say I've been super busy lately, I mean I've been too busy falling asleep because drowning my pillow is tiring.

Depression is a monologue shot underwater, depression is sulking because I won't talk about it anymore.

How can I explain to my friends what is happening inside of my head when I can't even figure it out myself? How do I explain to them that I have been hit by too many people with "how dare you hurt me with your hurt" to not be convinced that I will accidentally do that to them? So we've grown accustomed to sulking. It has become a routine, joking about those ridiculous mood swings of mine.

My depression is a coat disguised as depersonalisation tendencies, "laziness,"
cries for attention and closed bedroom doors behind which continuous music
plays, harmonised with the sound of dripping cries of loneliness.

Of which the belt is anxiety. My psychologist has given it a name: John. Its
supposed to make me feel like anxiety is some exterior force and not something fogging up my entire inside. But he's better known as:

"Sorry.”

“Are you sure?”

“Sorry.”

“I know I'm being annoying."

"Sorry.”

I try not to acknowledge it. So, I leave my pen clicking. hair fidgeting, periods of breathlessness and restless tendencies as just that; inconvenient tendencies. Sorry.

I've been told to pray and trust in faith, but I only wear a religious necklace because if I don't, I go home with a neck scratched raw by John.

I wrap myself in this coat for comfort, which seems ironic. But really, comfort is found in familiar places and it seems I keep losing my jackets of happiness and liveliness, so this coat is all I know.

There are some days I am so sad I don't remember what it's like not to be. Like when you're really sick and you forget how to breathe through your nose and you're so sure you'll never breathe through your nose again and I'm so sure I'll never feel joy again.

Except when you're sick, you can go and get a doctor's note to explain why you couldn't go to school and didn't write that test. I can't tell my coach I missed yesterday's practice because I got hit with a wave of sad. I can't tell you that my homework wasn't done because depression kept me tied to my bed for the better part of the day

My psychologist once told me I was brave to seek her help. I didn't feel brave. I felt scared. And desperate. And lonely. And tired. I am so tired of trying to take care of this terrible body that refuses to take care of me.

My depression doesn't ask for much but when it does it is something I cannot give and that is the joke. It is just me asking for something I cannot give. My friends get mad when I don't give them pieces of me. I can't give them something I'm not sure is there anymore.
Jessica
Grace Oct 2018
'Woke'?
What does it even mean?
Is it exploding on social media over that viral video showing a racist incident?
Is it challenging the status quo in your everyday life?
Or is it being oversensitive and angry all the time?

It's more than all of that.

It's constantly seeing racism, patriarchy and capitalists flourish,
while you can hardly keep you and yours nourished.
It's constantly wanting to speak out but realising you're just a number
whose voice won't disrupt the masses' slumber.

I'm tired of being woke.

I want to think a lot less,
Be more reckless,
And learn to be happy with a lot less.
The Noose Nov 2013
In my veiny skeletal  hands, is a war
One which I did not start
Just a innocent bystander
Watching my solid foundation turn into powder
Reeled in involuntarily
Siding with one party
Making an enemy of myself to the other party
A war which wasn't mine
A war I was not shielded  from
A war that ended long ago
In my mind the war is still alive
I know not why I carry it with me

Like the scars on the  flesh that covers my carpus
The scars in my mind run deep
They will never fade

In my frail heart therein lies memories
Of a past ought to be forgotten
The memories I cling to
To fuel my hatred
Like pouring diesel into a burning fire
Sustaining this fury that burns inside of me
Lugging resentment like that massive suitcase too big for you to carry

Forever the oversensitive one
These overwhelming emotions are taking over
From here on now rationality  has been lost

This war will be my demise
Bitterness in an incurable sickness
Thousand years ago, the world somewhere began
an escape, a thousand years later still trying to get to the end, but my body becomes a decorative piece, becomes of a number one digital romano ... that turns into flames cinch and dressing this base disencounter ; that is my physical, on an all, regardless of who will manage and the rule ... "

... I find it hard to breathe ... i do not know if i can continue what i have proposed ....
there is so much to say. i never wanted to write about it. and now i am here, changing the paper by words.
   better...... so nobody will remember anything, thanks to the evanescence. I have nothing to leave, no one for whom to stay here. i just hope to leave my soul in peace ...
   ... tonight i die.

**** dreamer who i am! i never got anywhere by myself. i never got to be what it was if it had not been for someone else.
   my days, my whole life governed by feelings ... they left me?
  
Inserts 1 - full moon in three shooting lights threshold pierced window shades sea view. there were three golden stingrays. they went to his room versailles, with some electricity that flowed from their bodies corps plans were roots electro-magnetic. upon entering threshold, their bodies pressed proportion to the input capability, but yes, each tidily came one after other. snipf believed to be asleep yet, but ***** it finding that was very real., many thought to pray, the saint who heard his confession had derived dimensional elsewhere.

Each stood before him. they looked with your eyes ldeep blue, relighted one in your iris reddish tint. your long antennas your heads caressed her room like recognizing them. snifp raised his arms as if embracing them, but put them over his head like imitating them, so began to turn, as if he were at the bottom of the ocean. this way, began to rowing with his arms in the room. the four members looked at each other, until snifp stood in between them, restarting your memories and confession to your new species of visitors. - no doubt their gods were they who visited because they were the ones that helped him in difficult and conflicting tasks. they must be highlighted; no le imposed a religiousness, only you your matches proposed delayed stages,

Four together, sit finally, focus on one thought as he took him to snipf arm for lease gate reality. aso these blankets emit a high-pitched noise that made snipf his new travelers to dream where would be the master sea and land beside them.

Romanticism is only rain emotions between winter skies sweetened; it is the cessation of rain from storms deaf. those deaf people who never believed in sentiment. Perhaps they have died without discovering it, and so poor and eager to continue living. instead i say goodbye to my land, my things, my memories. i'm so overjoyed without missing anything because what i miss is dead.

Insert 2 - feel distant sounds thunders and lightnings - some cats stumbled after feeling loud noise.

   I was born in 1832, dressed in beautiful costumes me, but i was on saturday mornings bathe with my blankets friends, all that leave very soon because every day stuttered more, and i found it hard to beat in my talk. They moved me with all my belongings to higher school, even only place to hear the bells of the cathedral, filled me with hearing loss and mortuary pain inside me was a place that then fled, over time i graduated from journalist, without anyone in my family believed in me. they never could understand my lack of realism. some call me naive, not without reason, i must admit.

   It's curious. whatever it is that one wants in life, always have obstacles from the people closest. from them comes the pain of misunderstanding and apathy. of them come from the larger wounds heals any ointment. Until i met a fisherman near a marina rivera long in a bar, then he told me his adventures and i became the eager boy children's stories. that night made me drink and drink until you drop at the side of a fishing terminal on the deck of a great ship.

Insert 3 - sleep - my in between growth stingrays, they were flying at night over my house, and sometimes brought me messages about the new season climate. interrupted my homework prepared, and most important, including, the most important; me included among the best, to sail with them. some among their ranks, me and took me taught to fly, although i always kept my body cold, completely oblivious to provide me own will enough heat. they gave me when stuttered or epileptic seizures, they did me your riding world where no disturbance physics i was afraid. But my blankets, me covering, me had in his pilgrimages slitting sea, sea to own and only, just for me. noises in them moderated my ears oversensitive, and for the first time vi from the sea depth rain fell as planting the ocean, as vast brightening the room he shared alongside them.

Insert end -

my life was empty without a firm helm, but ... god!
   she was several years younger than me. a beautiful creature in sight and confined to good feelings. i met a rainy night. she was with hat, with umbrella. we were heading to the same place where there was no one, because the activity had been suspended. after waiting and exchanging timid and nervous words we decided that we would be together forever.

   I do not mean it was love at first sight. rather, it was like finding my soul mate. and although we knew that the road would be hard and painful, we launched into a destination built by us and our struggles.

it's beautiful outside, with the moon through the trees can they see me sitting here or your mind round inside me?
   All of me are gone, even the children we never had. they left me in the cold. she will not sit in front of my fire more, because now she is snow.
    Is dark outside, trees writhe can they wait or live without me?
   but his fingerprints are still marked, marked in the snow left in me. everything is so white that hides the traces of tears that you never saw. everything is a blanket of snow falling on the memories you used to have. But even heart aches as before, i can not help feeling that someday come back from the dead to take your hand.
  
it's warm outside; the trees are gone. my soul took another turn. he never appeared someone like her. if your fingerprints are still, and i can see them in the snow! Everything is so white that covers the trails that she was not allowed to continue. everything is nothing, that clouds the movements that made me.
   But my heart is still suffering as he did. you followed the path that never again will bring.

I am confined to my bed in a dark room. i have a window overlooking the sea from the east, and another that puts me in front of the forest. i left on my bed a wooden box with yellowed leaves are the letters we sent her and i for so many years. yet i keep them all ... no, it's not true, many were lost in the fire flash - she will walk through the park until a curtain falls separating both. - pauses then your thinking and strongly bites pencil in her mouth was.

But no matter, i have the words engraved in my memory. and that will continue.The branches of the tree, which adjoins east window of small ones are ways to my walking, like war heroes. further, on stretchers, bring my faithful subjects in about trust management mi. but to raise my head like a big diving, they come see some maimed, come without it, come without his presence, bring only pieces of his body.
    
Our whole life, a very short time we were together, and not that we would not be, but there was always something that separated us. first the family, then the distance. We were separated and had to go in your search. at that time i was studying and trips were long, tedious and very damaging to my career, by the way, my family did not look favorably upon our union, rather than being recognized by men had communed in the sky ...
  
How i detest this ancient time! it is not day nor night, and i am not a man more educated to think more than this ... i hate to see the sun when i pray to the west, but someday she will take my dreams where the stars shine, where all they talk with their hands, without anguish nor grief, where all secretly want to go where the beauty sing constantly.

[ellipsis n 1]  

Adulthood - in the municipal choir - snifp came with his briefcase wondering if had kept all their material header, then trying to put his hand to pocket inner his coat, pulls out a key, this will be falling from his hands, and could realize there was a leaf on the floor, announcing a performance coral group in the premises of the municipality.
[end ellipsis 1]

[ellipsis 2]

Children age - in the conservatory - this brings another memory your memory with air fire, a dense air, movement of people, unable to help each other. it was toward the end of his second childhood, with his mother ran near a school where she thought enroll for classes theater.  mourn strongly but his mother, asking what was wrong? she said nothing for you not to worry. small but was snifp intuited by the uncertainty of their economic resources. he hugs her and says he has talent, that will come after all. snifp for a moment lets his mother and a photo seen in someone like his father, leaving the building and walks cobblestones wetted by the ***** of a vil exploited horse, and suddenly caresses their hands caress end the cabinet of the lord of the book store. and see i was like his father, but this time had the pipe on the left hand and lenses in the right hand. then, scare away horse and scared snifp trying to crossing the street leading the news to his mother. Her, i had signed up for next season.

[end ellipsis 2]  

After his assistant will take a reactant concoction snipf felt memories of those rejuvenated, making faces on the wall of his room. some of them were very funny and some not. but suddenly crossing the fingers tightening strongly and fix your clothes. buckle his belt. to sing is arranged, to shout and satiated to see if it really true the spirit that motivated him aires to be acquired new life. gets, fell knee, runs open window. try to touch everything with his hands, then kick chair to sit down and write. for each paragraph writing was setting and take off  lenses. for every paragraph, she took a sip of boiling concoction that was with him at that time

   Many of these letters were written thought in poetry. some might object letters "form", but the content, our feelings ... they can not be judged by anyone. I can not symbolize things. for me a bottle is a bottle. i need to reach a level of abstraction, because i recognize that everything beautiful i've seen i remember; because i know that to forget, everything will fly in the wind. so i can not symbolize anything. on the other hand, i know that everything that meant something to me, i could never do completely reach your heart. i hope to be wrong.
- get your consultant with tray in his hands unite.
snipf lord, your medicine. remember that leave this excerpt stingray than recommended by your doctor. You and your advisor and the look before opening the door thinking it would the last time i'd see him, then snipf recommences his speech ._
... i consider myself a failure fledged. some of those past failures are transmuted into fertilizers for ephemeral successes, lost in the sound of the wind beneath me accommodating my feet to tie them to my chair inquisitor.  TO  BE CONTINUED
SCREENPLAY ONIRIC POEMS - MAIN CHARACTER SNIFP  THE STINGRAY - under edition
in my obliviousness
inadvertent and unintentional
some may say as usual
i disturbed a wasp nest
the heightened bombilation
an anger-pitched droning
unheard somehow
therefore unheeded
until that impolite *****
a warning sting
through t-shirt to torso
followed by a few more
in quick succession
set my legs moving
apologetically away
with hands raised
chastened and contrite
both in supplication
and in order to remove
the offending article
of clothing
the oversensitive wasp
having become trapped within
defensively stinging
as nature directs
to be honest
its overzealous instincts
began to feel
more like spite
than mere survival
Mary Ann Osgood Jan 2011
i can feel my feet swelling already
thats how you know when it will be too heavy
or when you will not be strong enough
there are no dots to be connected,
and i want to speak but i know i am the only one who would listen.
my stomach keeps asking me to pull out the drawer
and spill milk, but it's empty so what good would that do me?

the air from my ears is sweet like honey
steam forms your body in my mind, where's my apology?
where's my money?
i can't ask, that defeats the purpose, and all i ever seem to be doing is pulling on yarn hoping to find something at the other end
i'm only unraveling

i need sleep
and a movie
and time to plan my future without worrying what a bald man who wears shorts in the snow will think
or a shiny man who doesn't cover his knees
or a grey man who thinks he can treat me as if we are sexually intimate.
tell me if i'm being oversensitive, okay?

Well, I'm not.
starling Aug 2014
curled lying prone and
humming hot, like a wire--
thrumming, like a thread
upon which water falls. I am aching
and oversensitive
holing a howl up inside me
and feeding it to my fears
crazygirl bad poems written before unconsciousness
mk Aug 2015
i.
you will flinch everytime someone mentions his name. actually, you will flinch anytime anyone says anything which even vaguely sounds like his name. sometimes it seems that half the town has his name, when the truth is that you're just oversensitive about it.

 **ii.

when someone touches you accidently or stares at you for a moment too long, you will feel the need to rush home and scrub every inch of your body until it bleeds because you feel so disgusted with yourself, inside & out.

iii.
when someone makes ***** jokes about you, you will look at the floor & listen to every word silently because a part of you still believes that all you are good for is your body

iv.
you feel the need to delete every conversation, every call history, every account on social media, every mark of a past with anyone and everyone because you're afraid that somehow, it will be used against you

v.
when someone asks you for a picture of you (even if they're in the picture with you), you will be incredibly hesitant and will have to force yourself to send it over. you don't want anyone to have any living proof of contact with you. you want to hide away.

vi.
whenever you are in a situation where you are not 100% in control, you will start having severe anxiety attacks. you cannot let yourself go. you cannot relax.

vii.
in relationships, you will always want the option to walk out because you feel claustrophobic the second it seems as if there's no way out. even if you never plan on walking away, you need the option. you need to know you're free, and for once, not bound to anyone forcefully

viii.
the thought of promising someone to be there's forever scares you because the idea of being tied down suffocates you

ix.
enclosed spaces will scare you. you will be unable to breathe and/or function in situations where there is no way out of a specific area such as in an elevator or a plane. you never had an issue with closed spaces before him.

x.
when someone brings up topics like domestic abuse and **** and shrugs them off as if they're nothing, your heart shrivels inside as memories flood your mind. but you have to remind yourself that not everyone knows that you're a survivor. and just because to you it seems as if there's a red label on your forehead saying "look at her, look at the disgusting things she's done", doesn't mean the label actually exists

xi.
every sector of your life will be influenced by the scars he left upon your mind, body & soul

xii.
you will never forgive nor forget

xiii.
some nights, you still won't be able to sleep in fear of waking up next to him

xiv.
at times, you'll still feel him on your skin

xv.
you will still feel him deep within

xvi.
this is never going to end. it'll never get easier, you'll just learn to live with it.

xvii.
& they'll call you a survivor, but all you'll ever be is a broken kid forced to give up your innocence long before you even had the chance to learn how valuable innocence is

xviii.
you'll never be the dictionary definition of "okay"

xix
what scares you the most, however, are the thoughts which enter your mind late at night, making you question whether, after everything has been said and done, *you still love him
// this was incredibly difficult to write but I thought that if I remained quiet about it, I would be telling others that this is something to be shameful of. if you are a victim of such abuse, know IT WAS NOT AND NEVER WILL BE YOUR FAULT & that you are never never alone. every 107 seconds, another ****** assault occurs, there are too many people in the world affected by it to not speak out regarding it //

note to those who haven't been through this personally: domestic violence/abuse/**** are all major issues & have to be dealt with on a very serious note. please be careful when you speak regarding them and never ever joke about them. you never know who amongst you has been through the vile torture of such activities.

p.s. these are just my thoughts/opinions, others are free to disagree
The McG in Me Apr 2018
You're here you're here and we finally meet,
I've been searching for you, surely life's biggest treat.
Feelings of trust, of bonding so strong,
Two lovebirds together all summer long.
Wings spread through the valleys, high over the clouds,
Sweet songs hit the shoreline as we danced with the crowds.

We do all that you like, you're so fresh and so new,
I don't mind that the song is all about you.
I give all that I have, my love's professed near and far,
I sing from the roof tops, you know every scar.

It's been a few weeks now and I'm starting to see,
Questionable behaviour that's harmful to me.
You don't sing the same song, how can this be?
Lies and rumours of cheating, theres no harmony.
"My minds playing tricks", she whispers to me,
"You're just a broken young child with CPTSD",
"I have the solution", she chirps so softly,
"Just listen don't question and come fly with me".

"You're not being gaslit, please my love have no fear,
There's no flying monkeys, but you asked for them dear.
What now shall I do, with all that sweet song you've sung?
Swoop forth to my noose dear, till emotionally hung.
The flight of your emotions so rich and so high,
I drool over your pain, my nutritious supply.
My love you're just oversensitive, you plot your flight right through hell,
Play this strings attached gift, while I poison the well.
You took flight with me dear but I'm keeping score,
I clipped your wings once you opened that door.
There is no escape, the hooks are now deep in your heart,
Don't try to set boundaries, because we'll never part.
I lie and cheat but I'll never tell you,
I deserve all this power,
Because you don't have a clue.
I control your inner thoughts, toxic shame is your guide,
I'm morally bankrupt but self love is on my side.
Nobody shall believe you, I'm the martyr to all,
They think that your crazy, singing your victims call.
My family and friends, they flock by me strong,
I laugh while you're helpless, though I've done you wrong".

I've left the cell but I'm empty inside,
I'm so confused as I contemplate suicide.
Did this just happen, was it a nightmare should I hide?
I'm hypervigilant and my hopes for the future have died.
I wake in cold sweats, I'm bound to my bed,
No contact is broken, another blow to the head.
I'm frantically searching, there's no peices to be found,
to that evil puzzle, she seemed so safe and so sound.

It's been a few months and I'm stitching the wounds,
Her guilt trip game is brawny, as the hoovering looms.
Once again dropped my gaurd , I must be a fool,
I guess it's time to enroll in affirmation school.
This time though I'm sure, no contact I'll fly free,
Never again empathetic, to the narcissist's plea.


04/03/2018
Ana Llanes Sep 2010
I wish you'd realize how much we needed you growing up.
How simple our lives could've been.
But I guess that doesn't matter, does it?
You're off with your new woman trying to have your kid.
While we wait here and hope to get better.
You've been the cause all along.
Yes that one small mistake changed our whole future.
And I see you don't even bother to ask.
See you had the chance
To do good.
And to be good.
To us and our mother.
But you chose them and now you're just gone.
Not that you were ever really there.
I gotta say that's a great choice you made there daddy.
To go out and get caught doing what you do.
When you should've been home!
You could've been good daddy.
But i guess it comes back to the same deal.
You made the wrong choice.
I hope I didn't forget to tell you, but
Hey dad I'm depressed.
Yea daddy they put me on meds and everything.
You wanna know why?
Well I guess you don't.
But I'll tell you anyway.
You remember those nights we spent with you?
Yea that first summer in Mexico.
Remember what you used to do late at night?
Well daddy it came back and hit me even harder.
You see my friends laughed and joked around.
About that one word.
And well dad that day I was hospitalized cuz I had a panic attack in the middle of class.
Oh another thing
My arms, they look great.
Yea you know with scars all over them cuz I'm oversensitive.
I wonder why that is daddy
Well my birthdays coming up
I hope you remember to call since its the only time I get to hear your voice.
"Oversensitive, dramatic,
its nothing, get over it"

Why do I hate
Do I need to berate

Do I always plunge the knife that deep?

Tear at my insides like im dying of hunger and trying to feed myself with what little soul i am told i have left but i find myself an empty wasteland and it *****. It really does

"Love yourself"

How do you love yourself when all youve ever been allowed to believe is your pitiful little girl in the corner narrative
The i wish you werent born. Useless.
A burden.
If smiling was a sin.

The numbness from within
Is after all Only redemption

"Change"

You broke me and now you expect me to heal myself so you dont have to look at the pieces and feel bad.

Well Feel bad.

*******.
Amanda Feb 2014
I hate feeling oversensitive
Although I know I am..
But it is only because
I have a heart made of glass
Any rock thrown,
Even as small as a pebble
Could shatter it completely.
And my self worth is so tiny
You could squish it like a bug
And not even notice
Pre Nov 2018
maybe I'm oversensitive
overthinking
overachieving
overstressing
overdoing
but that does not mean
I suffer less
it means I suffer more
because I need others
to tell me
that I'm worth something
if not
then I'm worth  
nothing at all
an oldie from a while ago that still rings true
Tint Sep 2020
The drama queen
can I play,
the drama queen?
she who was left alone
with the revenge
that she had drawn
exaggerations in her sobs
and fairly lengthy roars
I wonder if I can act
like how the showbiz
wrote in facts

The dram queen
oh! let me play,
the drama queen
I think I can react
more than she does
I should must
be more emotionless
make an oversensitive rant
I too, can hold a gun
I can tie the ropes in lines
to surpass her is a job
the easiest form at that

So, will you let me
to just play the drama queen?
that person behind a mask
behind her angry glaring eyes
the vengeance that she had
against herself for all the odds
this imperfect scars surrounds
that she always drag around
the drama queen
who's been broken,
by the fact that
nobody cared enough.
Draft 14. It's been so long.
Corina Dec 2014
it's okay to never listen to music because i'm oversensitive to sounds
i still have words. They can form stories or poetry
create worlds inside my head and
form orchestra's with sounds so bright i will never need my ears to hear them
just my sensitive heart

i'll go trough the world smiling in silence
while listening to the echo's of music that are still inside me after all these years
i'm never alone, and even when i have to stay quiet
my heart usually sings
Celestia Apr 2018
I'll intentionally drive you to wanting to die,
But when it's time, I'll gaslight.
I'll tell you everything's gonna be alright.
I'll make you lose your mind.
"It's not my fault you feel this way;
after all, I'm not the one holding the knife.
Nobody's forcing you to do this.
I'm not responsible for your suicide".

At your funeral procession,
I'll come in with the dramatics.
I'll be the one crying the hardest
As I throw myself onto your casket.
I'll weep, "I'm the one who truly loved him,"
And the family you trusted with your life will be convinced.

It will be my final form of mockery,
My disrespect for your deceased body.
Oh, you didn't know I was a psychopath?
Well, too late. You're six feet under grass.

I'll push you over the edge and ask what's wrong.
I'll send you chocolates and write you love songs.
By the time you realize what's going on,
You'll be in over your head, dead and gone.
"It's not my fault you feel this way;
after all, I'm not the one holding the knife.
Nobody's forcing you to do this.
I'm not responsible for your suicide".

I'll soil your corpse with a kiss on the lips.
Every Saturday, I'll bring you roses.
As I laugh, you'll be turning in your grave,
But to no avail, and with no escape.
Don't be oversensitive.
This is how I show my undying love.

It will be my final form of mockery,
My disrespect for your deceased body.
Oh, you didn't know I was a psychopath?
Well, too late. You're six feet under grass.
I do not condone suicide through abuse and gaslighting the way the character does; this is just a unique poem written from the perspective of the psychopath.
Q Sep 2020
I imagine your hands dwarfing someone else's and the image puts something bitter on the back of my tongue
I imagine you sweeping back hair that doesn't curl rebelliously at your fingers, insisting your hand stay with them
Words wet with dismay stick to my dry throat and if I could cough them out thered be nothing but different configurations of "stay"
I imagine your lips covering some spectre of a woman who is not me and I am amazed by the vastness of my hate

I remember the warmth of your chest as you pressed into my side, crowded me to the table, and my heart leapt into my throat
I couldn't think past awareness of you, felt you down my spine and into my shoes
That little was enough to do to leave me gasping
I'd be frigid if I insisted I could ever do without it

I remember kissing the mouthpiece of a roll and inhaling acrid smoke and you pressed the tip of your spliff to my lips before I had finished coughing and
Chased smoke like it was an ever-distant horizon vanishing into my chest
I am a ruined woman, stuck dreaming and waiting, there's humiliation that comes with this sort of infatuation

You get me tense, keep me constantly on the precipice of something, torso dangling over a railing, always threatening the possibility of free fall
I can hardly deal with my day to day humanity, the depravity you spark is beyond me and my meager means of processing

You look at me and I feel distinctly underdressed, publicly indecent, unnecessarily yearning as though I've never once known decorum
I fumble as I rarely do, trip over words like they're untied shoes, and my heart is imprinted under the press of your thumb
I've caught myself often wondering if I am merely imagining the heat of the summer and I am roasting in your company
My skin oversensitive, my heart aches with fresh burns, but when you leave I freeze and claw you back to me

The way that my mind, ever caterwauling, overthinking, shaking is so immediately quiet and still to give your voice room
That the world narrows to a point and the buzz of reality fades and I can focus on you
That the fear I cradle is smothered by the weight of your consideration
There's so much that qualifies as perfection that its unfamiliarity makes me consider running from whatever it is brewing between you and me.
hello again
Alex Eshelman May 2018
I like this town,
far from home,
Miles away from the last person who knows me by name.

No awkward hellos
From friends or foes
Not a single person looking at me for more than a second
to see if I was the person they saw last week
Buying groceries or eating lunch.

This morning I was in the shower,
Full of 15 soaps,
All of which I would get no end from if someone smelled on me
Back at home.

I took a glob of each one of those soaps,
Put it in my hand,
And reluctantly washed myself.

If someone had payed attention to me for more than a second,
I would be given a ***** look,
Maybe followed by a cruel joke,
And I may be oversensitive or weak,
But words hurt.

In this faraway town,
No one would care
Or remember.

The mesh of smells reassured me,
For if I couldn’t discern what it was,
No one could.
Dave Robertson May 2020
I’m thinking of The Orb
and the crusty, mucked crystal
of the transition from child to adult,
scored and soundtracked

excoriated by blunt first loves,
first lives lost, tempest tossed,
into oversensitive abysses
from which there’s “Never loving again!”
except after growing and knowing

Lo-fi made it easier and harder
than these cheeky bleeders,
at least, I know my bare cheeks on film
would take weeks to get back from Boots
and not be broadcast to Kuala Lumpur
in seconds

Age beckons
always
in a way we revulse at
but blunder and succumb to

You becomes we becomes us
as no bad thing
but we must honour
our custodian status
and not impose

The stupid vine grows
where it’ll grow,
we demonstrate this
wonderfully
Raven Apr 2022
In bed, stuck.
Limbs are numbs, I feel nothing...
Only pain surging.
A slow bolt of emotions and lonely feelings.
Oversensitive and pouring my eyes out every moment I feel my eyes get wet.
I want to do, nothing.
No will, energy lack.
Motivation is zero, I feel lethargic, tired of everything.
I ask, why must I suffer and go through this pain?
A toxic neurotic ***** for a mom, and no way out of this mess.
I say to myself, tomorrow I need to wake up and study, maybe apply for some jobs.
Nothing.
I still wake up only to go back to sleep again.
No action to strive.
Down at the bottom of the pit.
I've lost, become nothing, and want nothing.
Passion and desire all lost.
Nihilistic and no point to give a ****.
Gone.
******* all.
I want to die in this darkness.
The loneliness and exhaustion takes over.
I want to stay in bed all day.
Do nothing.
I'm dead.
Pure nihilism until my corspe begins to rot, ripened and turned to ash and soil.
Nothing but dread.
I want **** all.
I want to die.
Keeping my curtains closed, away from the sun and light.
No hope and no will.
My soul has enclosed.
I don't know what to do anymore, what I want to do anymore.
I don't want to do anything actually.
I want to just lie here, and wait to die...
Slowly, but surely.
I hate my family, I want nothing to do with those fake narcissistic spineless cowards with souls that stink of stail ****** protruding ***** 🤢
I have to money, nowhere to go.
No motivation and passion to get me going.
I am like the grinch, the joker, Harley Quinn, the raven, catwoman, and a lion all in one.
However, now I am nothing.
Not even human.
Not even breathing.
All I want is someone to connect with deeply.
I've been alone for so long I don't even know how to get attached to anyone.
I stay completely detached and alienated.
Completely isolated and away from people.
People only make me feel more lonely.
I only want that one person who understands.
I don't want worthless fools of Shallow ****** people to even try to understand me.
I like to be not understood.
How can you expect a big foot to fit into a small shoe?
It never will unless you break your ****** ugly toes.
Or, get a bigger size.
My point exactly.
People are so ****** obsessed with me and my energy.
I want nothing to do with any of them.
They can't help but pry, and stalk, and watch my every motive like a hawk.
It's ****** head drilling!!
Stay the **** away!!!

I only want one person, the person who is for me and only me.
I don't give a **** about anyone else
KD Burgdorff Mar 2019
In our youth
When we scraped our knees and elbows
Raw and red
We would run to our mothers
Frightened of the first taste of the attribute
That would haunt us like a shadow admist
Our grown up lives

Into the medicine cabinet she would reach
Placing soothing kisses over
our barely present wounds
Placing soft sticky Band-Aids on our scraped up limbs

It was a quick fix
Comfort and safety wrapped up into one
Paper packaged medicinal amenity
And each Band-Aid would make us yearn for more

An addiction it became so quickly
We became oversensitive to pain
One sharp tag and we went fumbling for the box
A peeling piece of skin
and the world was topsy turvy
Until it was covered and forgotten

When we finally felt
Real and jarring pain
The wrappers surrounded us
A mountain of useless snow
And all the Band-Aids would unstick
From the amount of blood seeping out of
Dagger cuts and bullet holes

And we go back to our youth
And remember when life was sweet like an August peach
And pain was something talked of movies and ghost stories
And we cry our salty tears
Begging to go back when a band aid could fix everything

And we wonder
When that power left
And this despair finally set in

The band aids unstick
And fall to the ground
Like we once did
In our youth
When we scraped our knees and elbows

Raw and red

— The End —