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Jan 2015
I love it when you decide you're going to hate me for a week,
Even though you haven't made any attempts at any form of communication in 2.
I thoroughly enjoy when you lie about the little things,
And get mad when I tell the truth.
It's absolutely adorable when you say I'm oversensitive,
Then ignore me for a month when I make a joke.
It's great that you can decide to respond to me months later,
But I can't take 5 minutes.
I'm a ***** and a *****,
But you can't be mean.
It's cute when you pick everyone else over me,
But you have to be my number one.
I like when you want me to make conversation with you,
Then tell me everything I do and say is wrong.
It's great that you can hate me,
But I have to love you.
Your best quality is using my fears and secrets against me,
But you don't tell me any of yours.
Most of all, I love when you all do this at once,
Then drop like flies at a picnic.

I just don't understand you're logic.
You treat me like your childhood teddy bear,
That's only there to hold your tears.
Which I wouldn't mind doing regardless, but it's all the time.
I feel like I've watched you grow up.
From love, then confusion, fear, sadness and now an unrestrained hatred directed solely at me.
Gosh. What did I do? Why can't you tell me? Why can none of you just tell me already?

I won't give up, because you know I can't. It's not my nature to walk away, ever.
Even when I'm not wanted. Or needed. Even when I know I'm not. I could never be, Nanny McPhee.
You know I won't call you, or disturb you when you're with your friends,
Because you know I'm scared of them.
The lying doesn't bother me as much,
But sometimes it's unnecessary and it still hurts.
I know I'm oversensitive sometimes,
And you're helping me get over myself,
But I can tell you've still got a long way to go.
I don't keep the battery in my phone anymore.
I don't want to get my hopes up that someone will try to talk to me, since they never do anyways.
There are no secrets and no trust. Yeah. It's all gone.
There's no thought anymore.
Your team is all the people you want,
Because why chose 5 of 5 when you could chose 4.
It's one less opportunity for me to be ignored.
I'm awkward in every sense of the word, and you should have learned that by now.
Please stop making social interaction more difficult for me.
New people are difficult enough, when I still feel weird around you.
I thought it was a joke at first, after all of your abuse,
But I've learned a lot this life, about what my friendships must include.
If I have two friends, than they must hate eachother, and eventually one hates me and leaves, than the remaining one must wait a bit before following suit.
I don't know why you always chose me as an advantage for your own personal gain. Maybe I'm the only idiot that doesn't know when to shut up.
The kind you can manipulate without me realizing until it's too late. Naive. Clueless.
No one's ever on my side.
You're all always together, against me,
And I can't even take one of you, so why bother trying anymore.

I don't fit in with you and your friends.
You don't want me there anyways.
Because you don't need me, until they're all busy.
But I need you, and you know I do.
I hate when you use that as an excuse.
Not sleeping tonight.
Written by
I Suck At Introductions  Connecticut, United State
(Connecticut, United State)   
594
   River
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