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Jessica Jul 2020
the girl wandered
and dreamt
and got lost in her head
only to let it float up to the clouds.

she read books
and wrote poetry
and found magic in the ordinary world.

she contemplated
and spent time with herself
and drowned out the noise around her.

she absolved the chaos within herself
only through slighting that which occurred without.

she wandered away
until she could no longer find her place in the world
but, in doing so,
had found her place inside herself.
- JP
  Jun 2020 Jessica
Comfort is a funny thing
All graciousness and charm at first
Like cotton down or endless cups
Or a pool of cool atop the earth

But in too much comfort and you will drown
In the constant reassurance of self worth

Too much of that comfort will actually keep you
From the discovery of new to be found
At work

And by work I mean
Stagnation kills creativity folks. Ya gotta take risks. Note to self.
  Jun 2020 Jessica
Which is the greater fear?
That you might
Despite all of your wishes
Be seen?
Or that you will find something
Once you truly begin looking?
My guess is that the truth of you
Lies somewhere in between
Lost but found
Like coins in this fountain of being
(For now)

Jessica Jun 2020
my love was never enough
to fix a broken boy and his heart.

my love was never enough
because my heart was the one which needed fixing.

my love was never enough
not for him, but for me.

my love was never enough
because i gave it all up to fix a heart that didn’t need fixing.
Jessica Jun 2020
the covers rustle as you slide under.
slowly, gently.
the light clicks off and your warmth moves across my back.
your fingertip brush along my cheek with a stray strand of hair
and your lips plant a quiet kiss where that strand used to be.
when your breath moves from my cheek to the back of my neck,
your hand slides around me and pulls me just that little bit closer to make us one.
gradually my body begins to absorb into yours and your heat into mine as your breathing becomes deep.
to love me in this way
would be to love me completely, vulnerably, gently.
Jessica May 2020
I’ve never been a true believer of any religion with nothing more than a handful of faith.
Since losing you, that handful emptied as I let you go.
I now find myself wishing daily that I will find something to hold onto in order to feel a sense of belonging.
I’ve never been much good at holding onto and belonging to myself.
Jessica Apr 2020
one day,
as you’re lying in bed,
he will cross your mind
like an unexpected thought.

you will realize
it is because today
was the first day of
not continuously staring at a chat with an empty message box
not updating him on what you’re doing
not feeling the urge to know how his life is going.

it will scare you.
this is the very thing that has terrified you from the very beginning.
not knowing
not being connected.

don’t be scared.
this connection?
it was wrapped around your heart,
your throat - slowly suffocating you.
you don’t know what fresh air tastes like anymore.
trust me - it is good for you despite its unfamiliarity.

it is not his fault, it is not yours.
the suffocating felt like comfort.
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