"goober" poems
You're not someone who can outline all the interworkings of my body.
Someone who will play my games with me.
who will call me Goober.
will see animals as Brothers and Sisters.
snore loudly in my ear at night.
That's okay.
I think.
Mar 6, 2015
Mar 6, 2015 at 4:57 AM UTC
alarm
dogmatical snakebird dictator
**** rooster of electro maniacal damnation
wake
goober eyed ithyphallic mortal yahoo yawns
glacier shuffle to Midas’ bowl
brush
minty hairy pasty headed ********
seafoam ***** on white vanity beaches
shave
deceitful murderous metal cartel scraping
dead shrubs from yesterday’s winter
breakfast
egg flour chalk smack
guzzling bean kerosene
work
batshit bureaucratic badgers bludgeon
muktuk hamsters lubricating wheels of fortune
lunch
butcher’s dead friend between greasy toasted cement
harlot’s heavenly tomato mating cabbage cousin
work
taradiddle of martyrs at jargon’s temple blather
babble, bumble - copulation without ***********
dinner
unicorn steaks, butterfly sauté, and
leprechaun fingers, a side of manslaughter dolphin
sleep
a felon’s holiday
repeat
Jan 23, 2019
Jan 23, 2019 at 3:56 AM UTC
I remember being a little girl and dreaming of Prince Charming, lying in bed awake wondering what it would be like to fall in love and be loved back, and then I met you. 21 and naive, I fell quickly, I never expected you to catch me, I never expected to love you so deeply... but I do. From the first moment I saw you my heart knew that it had found the one. I am so incredibly in love with you and by in love I mean that everyday I wake up and I ache for you in the most simple and innocent ways. Like in the mornings when I’m laying in bed, I ache for you and wonder what it would be like to wake up in your arms everyday, I wonder what it would be like to turn around under the covers every morning and be able to look up into those absolutely breathtakingly beautiful hazel eyes that I love to get lost in and rest my head on your chest.
Without knowing it you’ve patched up parts of me that I didn’t even know were broken. You’re my safe place, my best friend, and lover all wrapped up into one. you have the most genuine caring heart I’ve ever seen and you’re the most determined and supportive person that I’ve ever met. You inspire me to be a better version of myself and I’ll always do my best to do the same for you.
In my darkest days you’ve pulled me closer and on your darkest days you’ve learned that I’ll be there, no matter how stormy the clouds look. You calm my unsteady hands, you make me relax my shoulders. You feel like home and I think that’s why I miss you so much when I’m gone. You have taken my wrinkled pages and smoother them with care.
I want to make a promise to you, right here and right now. I promise to be there always and show you a love that you’ve never known before. With me you can always fall because I will always be there to catch you, you’ll always be safe when we lie down for bed because I’ll scratch your back and hum songs to you. I promise to hold your heart and keep it safe with me always. I promise to do my best to be your safe place, as you’ve been mine.
Your smile has brightened the darkest corners of my life that I didn’t even know could be reached and you give me hope. You give me hope that despite all the obstacles that have been put in my way I can overcome them all and so can you because we will always be by each other’s side. T.J. you’re my punk, my goober, and my baby cakes and I can’t wait to spend many more years making memories and sharing my life with you. I love you so much, or should I say, “... I have very strong feelings for you..”
With all my love,
Allison
Feb 13, 2020
Feb 13, 2020 at 1:01 PM UTC
in life, people have their own paths, trajectories... going through space.
those who aren't on the same path as you will collide into you briefly but continue on into a slightly different direction. we forever affect each other when our paths intersect.
you and i collided during the fresh part of my nineteenth year.
it was intended for fulfilling the desire of companionship yet became platonic.
you were a bad boy; rough exterior but in my perspective were a dear.
such a switch on my usual attraction aspect, not enjoying your habits that were persistently chronic.
those eyes
oh those eyes
i truly saw your inner buddha- i opened your box.
we clicked. never have i felt such comfort in a short amount of time,
however; you didn't change, in the end still sneaky as a fox....
my knowledge that you lie and cheat made me come to the conclusion that you would never be mine.
i fell in love. my first love. my asteroid. kyle.
hard to believe in a desert of all the places!
you held me ever so tight, gave me wicked butterflies & a goober smile.
still, left was uncertainty and doubt- many traces.
my mind was puzzled and never felt right.
i switched motives daily, always changing my mind. where is my mind?
attempting to hold onto our relationship i put everything fourth with all my being, my might....
found out the truth after a first intimate night; you led me blind.
really? you ****** her. i asked you over and over still lies.
really? you told him. a private matter you shared with a friend.
really? you could never prove a change- same black skies.
really? you betrayed my trust. we'll never be the same in the end.
you were my first love
at least i think
my asteroid that is now moving on after collision... my life you are out of
no more late night cuddles, simplistic kisses or terrible winks.
happiness fills my soul now that i can move on
for my heart broke in half and i have to mend it on my own
i do not regret our time spent, never thought it was wrong.
a man who truly respects and loves me will find me someday, for now i find myself alone.
thank you kyle for letting me get to know you without a mask.
this journey was an adventure and i'll never look back.
Oct 3, 2015
Oct 3, 2015 at 3:15 AM UTC
To battle off intruders
I hired a dog named Goober
He came to me packing heat
I think it is a Luger
He's not a German Shepard
Though his collar and holster are made of leather
He graduated Obedience School
Proudly wearing his Letter Sweater
I pay him in dog biscuits
Which cuts down on doing dishes
As we toss ideas around
When problems arise Goober licks it
He came with papers so all could see
Showing he is the best of breed
Also to lay out on the floor
In case Goober feels the need
Goober has been a great asset
All the intruders around here left
In case you feel the need to ask
...Just don't ask the cat
Nov 23, 2014
Nov 23, 2014 at 6:24 PM UTC
“So, some ******* tells me that I should thank all of the men and women who have served our country and allowed me to have this glorious three-day-weekend. I says to the goon, Yeah? Do you know why we’s are able to enjoy these fine bratwursts on this, a spectacular Monday afternoon? Sure, sure, he tells me. It’s because’a all the service men and women. What? So, I asks the guy…What exact holiday are you’s celebratin’? And, he says to me: Why, Labor Day, of course! So, finally I says to the guy, I says listen here you ****** goober, I says if you wanna thank dead or living soldiers for your freedom all day long, every day, you’s go right ahead. Hell, I tells ‘em; I’ll even join ya! Lord knows them guys deserve it. But, I says, but…If you wanna thank a poor dead ******* particularly for a tree-day-weekend, known specifically as Labor Day, then you gotta tip ya ****** hat and say tanks to Jimmy ****** Hoffa. May he rest in peace, cement and peace, but mostly peace.”
-JBClaywell
©2015 P&ZPublications
Sep 23, 2015
Sep 23, 2015 at 10:15 PM UTC
"Babe" - it just slipped out one day - an
Enigma, how could she make me such
A fool with simply a gaze? You must
Understand, I hadn't felt anything like
This in many a moon. A few
Years, really, but it feels like so much more.
That girl - what a ***** - I can't fathom
How exactly she gripped my heart so quickly.
You're a siren, a goddess, a myth.
Never in a million million years did I think
Anyone could be so into me - your
Mouth curves into the most gorgeous,
Energetic, and captivating smile - how exactly
Is it that she could ever feel the
Same butterflies that I feel?
Call me lucky, I suppose.
Hell, I'm the luckiest goober on
Earth to even get a chance to lay my
Lips against yours; decadent and
Soft, like a honeybee landing on a flower,
Eating away at the pollen, preparing to make
A batch of honey - honey, like her voice.
Nov 29, 2016
Nov 29, 2016 at 9:11 PM UTC
To battle off intruders
I hired a dog named Goober
He came to me packing heat
I think it is a Luger
He's not a German Shepard
Though his collar and holster are made of leather
He graduated Obedience School
Proudly wearing his Letter Sweater
I pay him in dog biscuits
Which cuts down on doing dishes
As we toss ideas around
When problems arise Goober licks it
He came with papers so all could see
Showing he is the best of breed
Also to lay out on the floor
In case Goober feels the need
Goober has been a great asset
All the intruders around here left
In case you feel the need to ask
...Just don't ask the cat
Nov 23, 2015
Nov 23, 2015 at 6:01 PM UTC
down south we love our goobers
salt em up and set to roast
eat em by the dozens
drink em in our cokes
fix em fancy in deserts
peanut butter pie
big and small all size and sorts
eat em till the day we die
granny loves to cook em
goobers in green beans
adds a bit of crunchiness
to the down home sunday dinner scene
with newspapers set out on the floor
in front of television sets
cracking shells like walker texas ranger
does good for nothing yankee heads
buy em hot and buy em boiled
along the roadside stand
spilling goober juices
all over the cars naugahyde rotan
finger licking greasy
from out a planters can
down south we love our goobers
like you done heard me said
Nov 5, 2015
Nov 5, 2015 at 9:21 PM UTC
I love the one who makes me laugh for no reason
I love the one I've made it through all the seasons
I love the curve of his smile and the way his eyes grow when he sees me
I love the one who took the bitter out of my heart and replaced it with glee
I will never forget the touch of his skin for the first time
I will never forget the hours we spent on my back porch listening to the wind chimes
I will never forget the everlasting kiss that sealed our fate
I will never forget the words that took away my breath , "Would you want to date?"
I will never forget and always love the one
Apr 25, 2018
Apr 25, 2018 at 11:39 AM UTC
Yesterday, there was a cloud and the cloud was turning
Today there were more, and the ounce kept burning
Some bar in Hamburg and dreams of punching Atatürk
The sister wasn't **** no paper, seven X's
It wasn't a good time, it was a shoddy paper bar
The redneck ************ was the one who turned a star
But oh no
An axolotl with the body of a flying serpent
This is urgent, a full body of the color verdant
Learning the choreography of a murderer of burdens
The static and manic idiosyncracy of skin men
The bodies of three legends accounted to ten
But there was no reception or action back then
But who knows?
The calling of a tender serving drinks to no end
Many friends to attend to and mend the hearts
There were children who drank like worrywarts
And the shortened query of lines was eerie
Peering, they're steering like he was hearing
Some sudden tale of questionable origins in there
The fact that it's all the same **** with no name
Makes it the same old hat, the same old game
A dream of millenia ago when there was no fame
The only person booing was some swollen lame
But it's life and life is strange
How do you change the way you change the way you feel
Rotted brains that don't feel no feel, they steal
But time heals, so time equals no wounds and that's why
Why they wish to live forever on a never-ending ******
But then comes Life-ender, the scythe, ember, mender
And it's all over, no one's sober on this Rolls Royce
Range Rover, said Herbert Hoover the awful goober
And now it's all **** and there stood the stooge
A fool made of reed and a tool made of keys
But what for were keys when there's no doors in need
No trusty steed to ask for the **** or mead
Who knew that life would be so hard indeed
It's that two story fall that doesn't ****
It made them fall ill and lie still for a fill
Of this endless bucket made of Kengo's will
There was a silhuetto of a rusted stilleto
It was well kept like Velcro in a safe or the pocket
Of the dog from Kesto, that ******* he pictured it
Some poor animal and made it sit on the cover forever
That made it sever from reality and come back never
But that's a tale for another lever to pull
Or the fool with another drink in their hands
And a bit of food, delightfully canned or a machine
That was manned by a man who was made of sand
All there's left is a question I've always had
What if I was the cloud, and the cloud was dead?
Feb 17, 2018
Feb 17, 2018 at 7:06 AM UTC
If I ever lost you,
I'd rather die.
If you never came back,
I'd be in hell.
If I didn't have my angel,
I would forever be a demon.
If I ever saw my wolf dead,
I'd go insane.
I can't imagine life,
Without you by my side.
You keep me whole,
You're now part of my soul.
I give you my heart,
So you'll never lose its beat.
I'd cry until,
I drowned in my own tears.
I'd cut until,
I drowned in my own blood.
Without you,
Life is nothing.
I never knew,
You'd be this important to me.
But life comes with surprises,
And you're the best I could have.
You make me smile.
You make me feel loved.
You make me feel save.
You make me laugh.
You might be a goober.
You might be an *******
You might be different.
But I love it all.
I love you for you.
No matter how weird,
You can get.
I just wanted to say,
That if you ever leave.
I'll be by your side,
Through thick or thin.
You are
My
Best friend.
You are
My life.
My reason
I live.
Without you
I'm nothing.
Aug 6, 2014
Aug 6, 2014 at 1:29 AM UTC
Today
I actually said
To a man
The words
"You're a good-dicked
Goober."
And other people
Witnessed this
Jul 3, 2018
Jul 3, 2018 at 9:17 AM UTC