< br>senryu senryu senryu senryu senryu senryu senryu senryu senryu senryu senryu senryu senryu senryu senryu senryu senryu senryu senryu senryu St Patrick's Day St Patrick's Day St Patrick's Day St Patrick's Day St Patrick's Day St Patrick's Day St Patrick's Day St Patrick's Day Irish Irish Irish Irish Irish Irish Irish Irish Irish Irish Irish Ireland Ireland Ireland Ireland Ireland Ireland Ireland Ireland Ireland Ireland Ireland Ireland Ireland Ireland Ireland Ireland haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku haiku funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny

.the new contraception, via the current spectacle of technological advancements... it's not here? this, new, contraception? existential, which implies: not fostered by an inhibition of the senses, but by the slowing down of will? me, ha ha, again, talking out of my own ***: because there was always going to be a fifth... came the four on horses, and a fifth, akin to the parallels of comparison joining jesus to balaam, riding... a... ha ha... riding a ******* donkey.

having to attack
grammar...

    what sort of
    deconstruction
is to be still
                  implied?

low hanging fruit
for my liking,
        because...
         i get the layer
of myth
          that
subordinates people...

listen: i was
happy working as a roofer,
until one Egyptian fwend
"thought":
well, ****, roofs aren't
necessary...

i once, upon a time,
cared;
now?
   i'm free-falling...
Diogenes
was always going
to free-fall...
but in english
society...
that's just Norman...
a
brain haemorrhage
aged 21...
  that's just Norman,
it's Norman
every single
month of the year...

   cover-up...
Norman,
it's all just one
get-lucky big-*******
Norman...

a little bit of Norman
'ere,
   a little bit of Norman
over d'err...
Norman is Norman,
and...
we pretend to be
courteous to each other
in...
from what i heard?
alcoholics anonymous
seems pretty friendly...
anonymity
anonymous
of the internet?
   oh, look...
          ballet
on egg-shells
with only cats
in the audience...
            ninja kaput...

but it's not funny
when, cancer...
   but it's not funny
when...
          heart attack...
it's funny when
a brain haemorrhage
is made unnecessarily
into schizophrenia...
that's funny...

      oh look...
grammar is being attacked...
funny...
     native identities
are being sacked...
funny...
      a little bit of funny
'ere,
   a little but of funny
over d'ere...
funny funny funny...
it's so ******* funny
these days,
that...
   i just forget to laugh...

honest to god,
it rattled me,
when i didn't hear
any canned laughter
in a comedy sketch
akin to the office...
i started thinking:
where're the lazy bits?

but it's funny,
you're funny,
i'm funny,
  everything is just,
  funny...
revision:
  please tell me
at what point i'm
supposed to laugh?
there's any laughter
involved, universally,
or is it,
that the joke,
is an in-group
               point
of opening, & closure?

when a comedian
performs on stage,
there is no cue?
        so, that laughter is genuine,
it's not canned?
wow!

               wow!
well... if everything in
the anglophone world standard
is, the standard base
for expression...
let's all laugh!

oh... right...
some people are not allowed
to laugh...
  they have to squirm,
or pretend a pigeon flight...

never in niche,
always in a zombie total...
what do they call
a zombie total? ah... horde...
thingy-mig-jig...
  
but it's all funny...
like... reading the oeuvre
of alexandre dumas...
and then...
keeping up with
   the tabloid reading
public...
  like that wasn't
a recipe for disaster...

but's it's, funny...
   it's all just a bit
of the giggles...
  kuru / pseudobulbar affect...
well...
for a people to experience
cannibalism,
look no further than:
this is my body,
this is my blood...
          like...
       metaphor became literal...
but in all the "funny"
so people are bound
to be found to laugh...
literally...
  it's funny,
but it's funny with venom,
it's
   ridicule,
the lowest form of wit...
it's schadenfreude...

     it really becomes funny
when brain haemorrhage
morphs, magically,
like... having touched
a mushroom, or a unicorn...
into schizophrenia...
oh, then the giggles are on...

and the same dumb IQ specimen
says:
you know...
   samuel beckett's watt
is... base...
   nope, beats anything
                    by joyce...
   but that's also not funny...

going to the opera?
that's also funny...
not going to the opera?
that's ******* twice as funny...
it's always funny
    with the Ęgleash...

it's only funny,
when the,
  Germans were never funny...
thank god i'm not
even remotely alligned
to anglo-saxon...

    it's always funny though...
ethics is not sought
and etiquette is
      limping...
  hence: but it's still funny!

the mob authoritarian
mentality of:
you need to laugh!
we say:
  YOU NEED TO LAUGH!
so... we're laughing...
as said by the people,
for the people...

    i was told i needed
to laugh...
  by the trolls...
so...
         i guess i laughed.

p.s.
   that time when
people said:
ooh, feelings...
  we don't care
what you feel...
right...
  which implies:
and i have to care
what you think?

         what?!
i've been told to laugh
at something
that i found
to be, not funny...

  how could anyone
tell anyone else,
to prescribe him
funny?

then reducing it to
an i.q. argument?
  funny ha ha or
funny: i'll think about it
and ha ha with
a delay button?

but you see...
            it's funny!

you want funny?
you know
what i ascribe my personal
library to?
that quote
from batman (1989),
that scene...
  when the joker
is rising from
  the chair in
an alleyway surgeon's
office...
   'but you see,
what crude instruments
i have to work with...'
  
   it's not bombastic
to drop a name of some
german philosopher:

oh... but it is,
it's reduced to verbiage,
word-salad,
as long as Darwin
is pop and in play...

so... it's all... funny...
hey,
i'm not anglo-saxon...
let's preserve ourselves
in peering into
current culture...

it's funny!
   we'll all be a throng
of rolling barrels,
of laughs,
coming from this
'ill-top!

It's funny isn't it
Life.
It's funny isn't it,
when your friends talk behind your back
when they laugh at inside jokes
you aren't privy to.
Hilarious.
It's funny isn't it
when people are nice to you.
Especially when it's obvious
that it's not genuine.
Pity friendship
what a crackup.
It's even funnier
when people detest you
bully you
beat you down
tear you up
rip into you
with fists or words.
Lol
It's funny isn't it
when you can see disappointment
in the eyes of those you love the most.
When you need
acceptance and forgiveness
but aren't desperate enough
to beg.
it's funny.
So **** funny.
the paranoia that begins to set in
how every word
behind backs that are turned
becomes a rumor.
That feeling is just so funny.
It's funny isn't it
how you can see every flaw
in yourself under their guidance.
That self loathing
self hatred.
That awe inspiring disappointment.
Not good enough
Never good enough.
Not for me you anyone
Isn't is just so funny
to think about all the ways to die
all the ways that you could
should
want to.
Isn't it funny
to see faint trails grow
more and more red
when you draw a blade to your skin.
Isn't it funny
how you can't explain why
the pain and the scars
make it feel better
somehow.
Isn't it so funny
how miserable you've become
by someone elses hand.
Isn't it funny
how they tell you that
if you ignore it
it will all go away.
Isn't it funny
how ignorance isn't bliss
it is hell.
Isn't it funny
how it messes with your mind.
Isn't it funny
how they can get to you.
Isn't it funny
how everyone just stands by
and watches it happen.
It isn't funny
but they're laughing anyway
so you laugh along
and pretend that it doesn't hurt.

Funny
How the lies never end.

Funny
How I'm supposed to walk away,
But I refuse to.

Funny
How I'll always be here for you.

Funny
How I ******* up out of care.

Funny
How I'm always the girl who's fallen for,
Promised forever,
And dumped for a life of empty encounters.

Funny
How, at this rate,
Your future will be that of your hero's.

Funny
How your hero is hollow and unhappy.

Funny
How I'm crucified every time I love.

Funny
How I'm you a year ago.

Funny
How you're him a year ago.
The "him" that you hated for what he did,
What you do.

Funny
How I don't believe this is you.

Funny
How I'm supposedly a ******.

Funny
How you forget the way you were with me.

Funny
How how no one stops you
Because they live it right beside you,
While the rest slowly stop caring.

Funny
How I don't stop.

Funny
How numbing emotions is a better option than living.

Funny
How my heart will always ache
For knowing that you are better.

Funny
How I'm not laughing.

Funny
How it never ends.

I am The Funny Man

I'm here to make you laugh

I'm the clown behind the sentence

It's the one disguise I have


I am The Funny Man

I'm on at your request

The keyboard spreads my message

I'll try to do my best


I don't know who I am though

Am I funny or sedate

By the time I find the answer

It may just be too late


I am The Funny Man

On strings that you control

I am your funny puppet

Being funny makes me whole


I am The Funny Man

Dancing at top speed

I live to hear the laughter

It"s the laughter that i need


I don't know who I am though

Am I funny or sedate

By the time I find the answer

It may just be too late


I am The Funny Man

I crave to be on top

I don't know how exactly

To make the funny stop


I am The Funny Man

Yes, that's just who I am

Half clown and half man

And you don't give a ****..


I don't know who I am though

Am I funny or sedate

By the time I find the answer

It may just be too late

The Funny Man lies dormant
When the Dark Man come around
The Dark Man is oppressive
The Funny Man goes to ground

The Funny Man is hiding
From The Dark Man deep inside
The Funny Man can't beat him
The Funny Man has tried

The Funny Man's a rainmaker
Bringing laughter where it's not
The Dark Man is a monster
Full on vindictiveness and rot

The Funny Man is fragile
The Dark Man knows it's true
The Funny Man needs attention
The Dark Man needs it too

The Funny Man is worldly
But just what makes him laugh
The Funny Man is honored
When you get his autograph

The Dark Man needs no thank you's
The Dark Man has a goal
He will beat The Funny Man to a pulp
And The Dark Man gets his soul

The Funny Man is a fighter
He will give it his best try
But in the end The Dark Man takes control
And the Funny Man must die.....

Its funny how hello is always accompanied with goodbye
its funny how good memories can make you cry
its funny how forever never really seems to last
its funny how much you'd lose if you forget about your past
its funny how 'friends' can just leave you when your down
its funny how when you need someone they're never around,
its funny how people change and think they're so much better
its funny how many lies are packed into one "love letter"
its funny how people forgive even though the cant forget
it's funny how one night can contain so much regret
its funny how ironic life turns out to be
but the funniest part...
is that none of that's funny to me.

Funny how we've made the choice
To die even before we are born

Funny how many attempts we can make
Before we finally fall

Funny how long it takes for the blood to run out
And leave us for once and for all

Funny how much your body can handle
When you don't want to deal no more

Funny how gas can make you laugh and cry
When you're locked in the car and don't even care why

Funny how many pills your system can take
When death is the option you've already made

Funny how long we can hang in the balance
Between the length of a noose and the floor

Funny how hard our dreams can hit us
And with the car we could never afford

Funny how heavy water can feel
When its welling up in your lungs

Funny how the ones who aren't afraid to do it
Are the ones you'd never guessed would jump

Funny how people start paying attention
When you're holding the gun to your head

Funny how our own thoughts eat us alive
Aren't we all just better off  **dead?

Y'know what's funny?
Me.
I'm funny.
But not funny enough to draw a crowd.
Not funny enough for it to define my personality.
Not funny enough to compensate for my awkwardness.
Or my body.
Or my beauty . . . or lack thereof.
Not funny enough to go places because of my funniness.
Not funny enough to make other funny friends.
Yeah, I'm funny . . . funny looking!
See? That's my funny joke.
But not funny enough.

Funny so
how my accent changes around white people
and I wrinkle memories I have on worn out clothes
Funny so
the sound of life hasn't an echo
and my reading voice isn't a girl's
Funny so
I read subtitles over the loud sound
and can sing a song, but read lyrics like a poem
Funny so
music can easily move your feet
yet love's symphony—makes me scared to skip a beat
Funny so
how we can smile the brightest in the dark
also telling a crooked lie through straight teeth
Funny so
how every world eventually becomes small
every person you come across—cousins yet to know
Funny so
how we call girls for dimes
but call her gold-digger later on in life
Funny so
how she calls all men dogs
but always loves barking up the wrong tree
Funny so
how we weren't taught enough about the ******
now the baby mamas we want to condemn
Funny so
we say actions speak louder than words
yet our own actions contradict the Word
Funny so
I laugh while telling a ***** joke
but will look at you as a joke, for making a dry joke
Funny so
how you can never really quench the thirst
the same way you can't water down a harsh truth
Funny so
the wife can count her *******
while the husband makes it count to always be first
Funny so
how we all have a good start, but end so poor
just like I started this piece, and don't know how to end my poem

                                    Well ****—I guess that's the end of the joke.

it's funny how hello is always accompanied with goodbye
it's funny how good memories can start to make you cry
it's funny how forever never seems to last
it's funny how much you'd lose if you forgot about your past
it's funny how “friends” can just leave when you are down
it's funny how when you need someone they never are around
it's funny how people change and think they're so much better
it's funny how many lies are packed into one “love letter”
it's funny how one night can contain so much regret
it's funny how you can forgive but not forget
it's funny how ironic life turns out to be
but the funniest part of all, is none of thats funny to me

the funny thing is
when my mom was together with my dad
--like as a thing and he would
run to the pay phone across the street from where
he lived whenever his pager went off that
she was calling him--
his dad asked her is she was going to
give him a grandson
and my mom
being the person that she is
told me that she laughed and said maybe

the funny thing is
when i was born and the midwife
announced that i was a girl
my nan who had mistook my umbilical cord
for a ***** leaned over and asked
the midwife if they were sure

the funny thing is
my grandfather’s mother
she always thought that i was a boy
and yes i know that she had alzheimers
and was not all there
but now i feel like she was able to
see through my dresses and long hair
to the boy that i would one day be

the funny thing is
i was often mistaken for a boy as a child
and when that happened there was always
a little burst of warmth because yes
i was a boy
i looked like a boy
i felt like a boy
but no no no
silly girl they all would say

the funny thing is
when i first met my father’s father
my grandfather if you will
i was a lesbian
and in texas that isn’t a widely accepted thing
and i was told a lot during my two week visit
that i just hadn’t found the right man yet
and so now that i am a man
i wonder what they would tell me now

the funny thing is
i don’t have bottom dysphoria
have a ****** does not bother me
i like being able to comfortably ride a bike
and read ****** novels in public
without it being obvious that that is
what i am doing

the funny thing is
my grandfather’s mother
who we all called papa lucy
died before i realized that i wasn’t a girl
i had that terrifying revelation at seven
and though my memory is foggy
through much of my childhood
she passed a year or two prior to that
and no i do not mean it is funny that
she died because that is terrible and i loved
her with all my heart
but it is funny that she saw who it would take
me nine years to be
and i didn’t get to reintroduce myself to her
and tell her she was right

the funny thing is
now that i am a boy
i am near-constantly misgendered
and it seems that no amount of slouching
or wearing a binder under it feels like my
ribs are cracking with every breath
and wearing pronoun buttons on my sweatshirt
and bright rainbow beanie
is enough to make people see otherwise

but ****** i am a boy
and my nan thought i was a boy
and my papa lucy knew i was a boy
and i used to get mistaken for a boy
before i grew hips and ****
and despite all those things i am still
a boy and i always have been and i always
will be and the really not funny thing about that is that
people seem so eager to tell me i am wrong
and try to force me back into the box of
daughter and woman and mother and sister
and no i will not be those things
and it is not my fault that i live in this world
where they do not know what
a body other than theirs means and how terrifying it is
to realize you are not the girl you were raised as at such a
young age you do not have words to describe how you feel
and they do not know
and they will not know
until they shut their mouths and open their minds

so please do
before any more of my transgender brothers and sisters
have to die for your ignorance and hate and fear
because there is nothing funny about that

its so funny...
Its funny how you pretend to care
Funny how im always crying
Its funny how you always "promise"  
Funny how I believed you
It's funny how you leave me to rot
Funny how you hurt me this much
Its funny how you could be so fake
Funny how I  couldn't see a snake
Its funny how your slipping away
Funny how I let you
Its funny you hurt me nonstop  
Funny how I say nothing

But the funniest thing about all this is the fact that this has happened before ,
And what's even funnier about all this is I opened up to you--when I should've locked the *******  door

I can't really rhyme very well,
or write.
so... apologies.

[verse 1]
finally asking for some help
and swallowing my pride
friends won’t listen to me
and I’m stabbed in my backside

scared of my own shadow
and watching my every move
giving it my all despite
knowing you’ll disapprove

there it is again,
that funny feeling. that funny feeling.
there it is again,
that funny feeling. that funny feeling.

[verse 2]
writing my own hero
that I thought I’d always need.
giving him the deepest,
darkest flaws inside of me.

broken hearts and promises,
makeshift therapy.
run into burning buildings
always voluntarily

working from dawn to dusk,
told secrets I cannot keep,
work always follows me home
so I cry myself to sleep.

writing to escape this ****** reality
while I sit in silence
and question my sexuality

there it is again,
that funny feeling. that funny feeling.
there it is again,
that funny feeling. that funny feeling.

[verse 3]
sleepless nights, stick & pokes
unblocking my ex
bloodshot eyes, fake smiles,
fill the void with meaningless ***

always stopped when I said no,
but never heard a yes.
stepped outside to call his wife;
left me a crying mess.

total disassociation
lie, say that I’m fine.
googling ptsd
but denying what I find.

exploited daddy issues,
making myself small.
the silent contemplation
of ending it all.

there it is again,
that funny feeling. that funny feeling.
there it is again,
that funny feeling. that funny feeling.

hey, what can you say?
we were overdue.
but it’ll be over soon.
just wait.
ba-da-da, ba-da-da, ba-da-da-da-da-da-da

How funny life can be
How funny men can be
How funny I can be
Its two funny we iam in bed
Thinking about how funny
Life is life can be up and down
Its how you make it right now
My life is funny I ask my god
Y every day I asked myslfe y love is funny sometimes y  iam laughing Cause its funny
I laugh so I dnt cry  I think its funny but my life is funny....how funny is your life...

This is in dedication to Mr. John Grant a spokesman
for Veterans for Peace local 31. When during the late Bush years we protested the Bushy Zombies in West Chester
Pa. This took place every Saturday from early morning till
around 4 or 5 pm. He keep saying, "They're drinking the cool-aid."
P.S. Veterans for Peace is also national and is registered
under the U.N. with its own magazine. This was poem was written in 2010
Besides it has a rap beat to it



Lies ah decieven' our minds ah believen'
by ah drinkin' the cool-aid; eatin' funny-fudge
Drive-by ah flyin' innocent babes ah dyin',
while ah drinkin' the cool-aid; eatin' funny-fudge


Blacks  against slavery racists say lazy,
Jim Crow ah knowin', black vote ah growin',
voter lines ah showen', black suppression ah growin',
while ah drinkin' the cool-aid; eatin' funny-fudge

Mr. sweater vest advisin' theocracy risin' ( Rick *******)
gays cannot marry his heavy-load to carry,
all Muslims are targets by his government harlots,
body meedlers of women, no rights he has proven
by ah drinkin' his cool-aid and eatin' funny-fudge

Mexican Border right-wingers disorder,
Jail complexes growin', their profits showin',
public schools no maintain', corporate zombie schools gainin',
while ah drinkin' the cool-aid; eatin' funny fudge

Corporations are people super-vote-money inclusion,
Super Pacs' delusion, Democracy illusion,
while ah drinkin' the cool-aid; eatin' funny-fudge

Profits by Lockheed Martin perpetual wars embarkin',
wars appeasin' without good reason,
while ah drinkin' the cool-aid; eatin' funny fudge
No good reason callin' Wikkeleaks treason,
while ah drinkin' the cool-aid; eatin' funny fudge

Houses ah runnin' from ex-owners ah gruntin',
our lands will desert us whole nature unnerved us,
while ah drinkin' the cool-aid; eatin' funny fudge

Street people ah growin' with hardly non knowin',
parents ah cryin', hungry tots ah dyin', emergency rooms
ah packin', it's healthcare ah lackin'
While ah Wall Street ah hoppin' in triumph give-away-ah-hoppin',
while ah drinkin' the cool-aid; eatin' funny fridge

Slave hours grind us while paychecks are minus,
GOP congress never behind us,
while ah drinkin' the cool-aid; eatin' funny fudge,
Zombies surround us to only remind us,
QUIT DRINKIN' THE COOL-AID AND EATIN' FUNNY FUDGE!!!

"What's funny is" is a ****** statement to be on the receiving end of, it nearly ever ends well.

What's funny is... Often times, most of the time, it's not funny at all. Curious, that we take humorous language and make it into lighter fluid to burn bridges.

What's funny is... The fire is usually a case of arson brought about by projection of in-the-moment feelings, that are fleeting. *******, that we allow ourselves to make them permanent; just mindless masochistic beasts wallowing in the ashes.
What's funny is... The echo chambers we've created for ourselves are actually prisons. Ironic, that we make up walls made out of bricks of unreachable goals, and feel disappointment when we don't achieve them.

What's funny is... Is that the more I interact with people the more I understand why we let ourselves indulge, and indulge, and indulge, to numb the monotony for just one ******* second. Nerve wracking, that every person is just a liability I cannot trust to not become the shackles attaching the weights that drown me.

What's funny is... As hard as I try to remain invisible, I'm forever tracked by a spotlight that blinds me. Insane, to think for one second we are anything but dirt on the ground; let me be dirt.

What's funny is... The numbness, and the pain, are like logs on the fire. Enduring, daily, the pokes and prods to keep the embers going when all they wanna do is die.

What's funny is... I like to dance in the flames but hate being on fire. Truthfully, I aim for embers.

The funny thing about crying yourself to sleep
Is waking up confused
Because you don't recognize
The reality of your parents room,
From the delusion of your nightmare.

And the funny thing about lying awake at night,
Blasting music as loud as you can,
And trying to make your breathing
Inaudible
But each breath is
More strained than the last,
Is when you think back with a
"I never thought this is how my life would turn out."

And the funny thing about recalling
Making lunch in the kitchen,
And suddenly choking back
Strangled sobs
After realizing I love you.
And my mom rushing into the kitchen,
Asking me what's wrong,
And I cried so hard
Because I was so scared
To love you.
Is that it wasn't about you,
It was about the fear that you could
Now have the power
To take all my vulnerable parts
And leave without giving them back to me.

And the funny thing about
While blotting at my eyes,
That every part of me
Is wholly and entirely yours,
And upon that I also found,
Is that maybe no part of me
Was ever mine and mine alone.

But the funny thing is, you have proven
Time and time again
Within all my efforts
Amidst anxiety and panic
To subconsciously push you away,
That you're here,
Truly here,
To stay.

The funny thing about crying,
Is that it's not always about the tears,
And the incoherent hiccups
Aren't always about pain.

The funny thing about being this emotional,
Is that you love with all you are,
And when someone finally loves you back
The same way,
It's like seeing the face of God,
As Victor Hugo once said.

The funny thing about forgiveness,
Is that it doesn't always have to come from the
Person you've done wrong.
The funny thing about love
Is that it feels a lot like forgiveness
And the grace of light.

The funny thing about life,
Is that it never turns out how you thought it would,
And that's good.

The funny thing is
I really think
I like how
My life is turning
Out.

You know what's funny?
Thinking that you would find someone that's different but realizing that they're just like everyone else.
You know what's funny?
When you thought that you could trust that person, just for them to hurt you just like everyone else.
You know what's funny?
I almost let you in, until I realized you were just like everyone else.
You know what's funny?
You wanted me to trust you so that you and I could attempt to build a relationship but you were just like everyone else.
You know what's funny?
I thought that I could be prepared for the next person that will try to treat me just like everyone else.
You know what's funny?
You caught me slipping again.
You know what's funny?
You told me that you wouldn't hurt me like everyone else.
You know what's funny?
I believed you.
You know what's funny?
I fell for your trap.
You what's also funny???
NOTHING AT ALL!!!
I can only laugh but so much pain off until it consumes me! That same laughter that keeps me going in public slowly turns into tears behind closed doors.

it's funny how the thought of you still keeps me up at night even after all these years

it's funny how being with you used to keep me up those nights and how thinking of you keeps me up these nights

it's funny how you used to sing to me on the nights when i just couldn't sleep and now thinking of your voice just leaves me wondering if i wasn't good enough

it's funny how everyone around me has gotten so accustomed to the bags under my eyes that they don't even bother asking if i slept well last night anymore

it's funny how normal everything is during the day as if you'd never left and come three in the morning i haven't slept and i'm thinking of all the things i wanted to tell you but didn't

it's funny how fast everything changes and how quickly time goes on and how easy it is to get left behind in the past

it's funny how i used to wake up to your face every morning and how i now still wake up to your face every morning except you're gone when i open my eyes

it's funny how my hand still subconsciously reaches for yours before i realize it isn't there, how it comes so easily that my first instinct is to hold your hand as if it were the most natural thing in the world

it's funny how i still think of you in all the things i do and how every time i walk past a flower i think about how beautiful it would look in your hair and how every song i listen to you makes me wonder if you'd like it too

it's funny how i can sometimes pretend you never left because you're always there until i turn around and always lying next to me in bed until i open my eyes and always holding my hand until i let go and realize there's nothing there

(and i started to remember what you used to call me when you started calling me by my name)

it's funny how hello is always accompanied with goodbye
it's funny how good memories can start to make you cry
it's funny how forever never seems to last
it's funny how much you'd lose if you forgot about your past
it's funny how “friends” can just leave when you are down
it's funny how when you need someone they never are around
it's funny how people change and think they're so much better
it's funny how many lies are packed into one “love letter”
it's funny how one night can contain so much regret
it's funny how you can forgive but not forget
it's funny how ironic life turns out to be
but the funniest part of all, is none of thats funny to me