"disbeliefs" poems - Hello Poetry

tattoo ourselves in electric ink memorializing calendars, diaries of observantional digits, black on white, no gray, birthdays, anniversaries, dates of passing, starting lines, occasional achievements, departure dates, even glaring failures, sundial mundane records of diurnal habitude…even defining self by, bye, byte marks upon flesh, upon our calendar *not my first trip-tracking, he ruefully rues, wry smiling, many voyages of indeterminate measuring length, leaving litter of arrays of hopeful estimations & destinations, each unequal, any or all possibilities, each day notated, without critique or commentary, the numbers are the gaols (jails) of goals, target, indeterminate determination, terrific, horrific, introspections, inverse images resolve, resolute* a year ago, +/- a few days,, new travelogue commenced, notated but not annotated, just numerical truths, (sans comments for the divine nature of numbers don’t lie) and today my calculator app informs, that I am now 19.4 % lesser, but that clarifies less than expected naturally this provokes a natty, spirited, self-inquiry, lessened, lessor, for better or for worse? have the physical alterations accompanying this reduction mean exactly what, if, it should be, a greater lesser? here is the hard part. your have always been a mirror~poet, laughing, bemoaning the unvarnished, unshaven AM sightings of a human perpetual dissatisfied, the external never denying the interior “less~than,” a J Peterman catalogue of weathered ****** expressions, counter-parted by multiple Venn diagram intersections, of experiential labeled bits & pieces of emotional empirical less than good, not even close to perfect, so now that I am *gaunt, spare, lean, grayed, narrower, again ruefully rue, the even more visible truth reflection eye~hidden:* I, am the sum of the weight of my history, my deeds, my disbeliefs, murderous deeds, weak choices and that hasn’t changed nary an ounce, no matter many times examined, indeed I am forever a lesser man, there, internal infernal too…

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Apr 9, 2023

Apr 9, 2023 at 2:12 PM UTC

nat-lipstadt

19.4% lesser

tattoo ourselves in electric ink memorializing calendars, diaries of observantional digits, black on white, no gray, birthdays, anniversaries, dates of passing, starting lines, occasional achievements, departure dates, even glaring failures, sundial mundane records of diurnal habitude…even defining self by, bye, byte marks upon flesh, upon our calendar *not my first trip-tracking, he ruefully rues, wry smiling, many voyages of indeterminate measuring length, leaving litter of arrays of hopeful estimations & destinations, each unequal, any or all possibilities, each day notated, without critique or commentary, the numbers are the gaols (jails) of goals, target, indeterminate determination, terrific, horrific, introspections, inverse images resolve, resolute* a year ago, +/- a few days,, new travelogue commenced, notated but not annotated, just numerical truths, (sans comments for the divine nature of numbers don’t lie) and today my calculator app informs, that I am now 19.4 % lesser, but that clarifies less than expected naturally this provokes a natty, spirited, self-inquiry, lessened, lessor, for better or for worse? have the physical alterations accompanying this reduction mean exactly what, if, it should be, a greater lesser? here is the hard part. your have always been a mirror~poet, laughing, bemoaning the unvarnished, unshaven AM sightings of a human perpetual dissatisfied, the external never denying the interior “less~than,” a J Peterman catalogue of weathered ****** expressions, counter-parted by multiple Venn diagram intersections, of experiential labeled bits & pieces of emotional empirical less than good, not even close to perfect, so now that I am *gaunt, spare, lean, grayed, narrower, again ruefully rue, the even more visible truth reflection eye~hidden:* I, am the sum of the weight of my history, my deeds, my disbeliefs, murderous deeds, weak choices and that hasn’t changed nary an ounce, no matter many times examined, indeed I am forever a lesser man, there, internal infernal too…