"Ben-Oni" is a Hebrew term meaning "son (Ben) of sorrow (oni)," and the name of an 1825 manuscript describing a chess opening.
"Whenever I felt in a sorrowful mood and wanted to take refuge from melancholy, I sat over a chessboard, for one or two hours according to circumstances. Thus this book came into being, and its name, Ben-Oni, 'Son of Sadness,' should indicate its origin." - Aaron Reinganum.
From the Old Testament,
Genesis 35:18;
“Her dying lips calls
her newborn son Ben-Oni,
the son of my sorrow.
But Jacob, because he would not
renew the sorrowful remembrance of his
mother's death every time
he called his son by name,
changed his name,
and called him Benjamin,
the son of my right hand."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ben-Oni, Son of Sorrow
Love,
you can fall in
and out of.
Happy,
comes and goes,
in waves,
cycles of differing amplitudes.
Its schedule of
arrivals and departures,
most erratic.
It is always
a two sided affair,
don't blame this messenger,
it's the way of the world
that it comes,
then it goes
Tho certain sorrows,
special, may
wax and wane,
they, a once, then a forever guest,
a full time resident,
taste, once acquired,
cannot be erased.
Part of your museum's
permanent collection,
an addiction affliction
that can't be undone,
be beat back,
ain't no emotional methadone,
to inhibit its delicious lows
Like a passerby,
a mound of stones espied,^
a grave marker au naturel,
compelled and compulsed,
duty bound to add a stone
to keep the pile intact and sound,
another 'sorrow' poem to add
to the internet's dustbin.
Sorrow,
a rich, old moneyed patron,
with a wealth of ancient lineage
orders and commands
yet another a poem
to celebrate its entrenchment
in our constitution personal
Son of Sorrow,
Son, Sorrow,
two conditions,
one necessary and
one sufficient,
combined,
a logical causality,
or a casus belli.
If you spoke Hebrew,
understood you would
the quality of the sound of
Oni.
It is a soundless sigh,
a virulent scream, part wail,
part exclamation, part groan,
say it slow - oh nee.
You alone,
a father,
can own,
the sorrow of a son,
who denies you.
It cannot be denied,
expiated, signed away,
a syllable of grief
that says mine, all mine.
Watching the sun push away
the backdrop,
the stage curtain of the randomized
but they a-keep-on-coming,
summer thunderstorms
that have scattered
all living creatures
to the comforts,
the shelter
of loved ones,
but yours, present, or not,
return your message
either marked "well received'
or sadly, postmarked
"addressee unknown, get lost."
Curse me to stop,
and I can't,
already accursed,
add your curse to my collection,
makes no difference to my pile,
of sorrowfully fresh recollections
We slept together,
so many good night moon
stories read,
pillows shared,
side by side,
a stock exchange of
kisses and hugs,
trades that can't be cancelled,
having been entered officially
on the books and records of
our-sorrowful hearts.
Lesser men
cry to themselves,
their loneliness, their tragedy
a soliloquy, revealed in a
one man show,
Off Brodway,
before an audience of none.
Not me kid, my oni,
is a public theater
of a visible shriek
in every breathe,
but the Supreme Court
gone and ruled against me,
and now there is no possibility
of injunctive relief.
Will travel to faraway lands,
asking different courts
for a hearing, knowing full well,
that I will be plea-denied,
having no standing,
for here,
there and everywhere
I lack proofs
and my son-accuser
wears masks and presents
no charges,
and even if he did,
I would gladly confess,
if he but presented them
face to face.
Son of Sorrow,
Son, Sorrow,
two conditions,
one necessary and
one sufficient,
combined,
a logical causality,
or a casus belli.
Come let us exchange
new names, new poems,
for we, though both poets,
do not read each other's
Works.
It is time.
I have a first born son who I rarely see and only, very, very occasionally hear from, and then it is by email or text. I do not judge for he is the product of my *****, and who cannot wonder if...
^a Jewish custom is to place a small stone on the tombstone you are visiting at a cemetery. The custom, ancient, is derived from when a mound of stones would be a marker of a burial. It became customary for a passerby to add a stone to the mound to perpetuate its existence.
