You’re a disembodied voice
only appearing in mirrors
like the Candyman.
Sometimes I look into the mirror
and say your name three times
then finish jerking off.

They say it’s darkest before the dawn
failing to mention dawn only lasts a few moments
before light illuminates what we’ve become in the darkness—
dumb and heartless.

Dawn is used to clean oil off penguins
who are grateful to wash the muck away
they feel they are able to keep trying
only to end up feeding sea lions.

We used to fear a red dawn
which gave way to a red dawn
the sun goes down on my right
in America’s tumultuous twilight.

After the dawn of man
we waited for the dawn of reason
only to find the dawn at hand
marks the end of that season.

Jesus didn't say the meek would conquer the Earth
Nor did he say they'd taunt for self worth
He didn't say blessed are the conquerors
Nor did he ask I trade my bomb for yours
Whatever he did say
We didn't listen
This death machine stays
And we are its pistons

Dear Mr. One-In-A-Billion
I'm one of the billion
trying to get some of your billions
but I'm just part of the sum of your billions.

I'm the one in your pocket
with only ones in my pocket
avoiding guns and rockets
that came from your pocket.

You keep a gun to my head
by putting guns in my head
with the guns you have led
bringing guns to a head.

I became your captive
you're a velocicaptor commercial raptor
with a manner didactic
to mandate moralistic methods of capture.

When I ask you to stop
I'm thwarted by cops
when I ask you to go
I'm thwarted by no's.

You tell us to fly when you know that we're hurt
you say it's the sky when we know that it's dirt
you give us a tie when all we have is a shirt
until the day we die and no longer have worth.

You providers provide
petite provisions
then dastardly deride
demographic divisions

parading pride
parroting patriotism
but the parrots died
during the schism.

You don't trust me because of my bank account
I don't trust you because of your body count
you don't care because your banks can't be counted
I care too much because every body counts.

Monopoly is a boar's game
the banker controls the board
the banker determines the gored
and property determines the score.

For equality we must equalize our equity
and make austerity analogous to antiquity
allowing annihilation of our antipathies
so we can delete deficit driving deficiencies.

We need charity baked into the system
so parity will be caked onto our vision
so we can stop worrying about cheddar
and give our cheese to the beggars

but you're the only baker around
with a shop full of dough
that you throw into the oven
to feed us sugarcoated lies.

Please stop feeding us tryptophan
through avenues like Instagram
or other similar brands
infecting culture with a businessman

until we're business ******
except for a select few
one of whom is you
and your billionaire brood.

Driving down the road
I experienced the glow
Of daytime's luxurious light
That was until it became night

Now that night has happened
A light follows me from the darkness
It pervades my rear view mirror
It's blinding magnitude magnifies upon reflection
The light intimidates me

Like the time
I didn't know what to say
And you had nothing to say
So we went our separate ways

Traveling alone
The light seems brighter
It's constant peering presence disturbs me
I feel this condemning nightlight is my jury

Like the time
The ****** I injected landed me in jail
I used it to sedate the voice that I failed
When you saw my love and bailed because I'm male

I drive lonely and high
There's an exasperated sigh
When the lights gets closer
I feel it may bring closure

Like the time
You entered my vehicle
To protect me from the light
I confused your compassion for love
I felt so stupid
When foolish fits me like a glove
I feel so putrid
The odds of someone being gay are slim
So why when my hopes are dashed
Must I crumble into idiotic ash?

My eyes grow larger
As death's sights grow smaller
And death's light grows taller
My mistakes create magnification
And I begin to drive erratically
When you are my love's activation
I continue to die sporadically

I don’t want you to die
I want you to live
I wish I was blind
to what this world can give
I wish that my mind
could handle it
I wished for all time
to see your candle lit
I wish death was a lie
written in Sanskrit
because I cannot buy
that God planned it
don’t tell me that I
don’t understand it
I know everything dies on this planet
my question is why
do I have to live with the damage.

I'd like to believe respectful discourse is always productive
and calm debate has healthy outcomes
making the circles we run in matter
but if someone has a "debate me" personality
then a debate will almost certainly not change their mind
the most it usually does is teach them new facts and arguments
to rationalize into their preconceived perspective
but normally it just amounts to a masturbatory exercise
where both parties feel they've done something good
when they haven't done anything at all
I suppose we're meant to run in these circles
and we can only hope these circles grow
slightly bigger every revolution ran
before our frustrated legs grow tired
and we start to get dizzy.

It’s eating prey
Time of day
Enter fray
Rent or stay
Gents who play
Bent the game
Their dented brain
Centered pain
And mentored shame
As inventors of rain

A mad goon
Raccoon
Attack looms
I’ll crack too
From flak flumes
Under black moons
That lack hues
To track clues
So I stack blues
To attract feuds
With a knack to lose
Looking back to you
I see a path to choose
With a wrathful queue
Remembering old news
Stomping a bold shoe
The way the cold do
Using a honed broom
To get me to fold soon
And grab the gold spoon
From your sold room
That holds doom

A habit teacher
Rabid creature’s
Static bleeder
Rapid feature
Fed me ether
Yet no relief for
My silent grief core
That starts to seethe more
After I have seen the door
To your seasoned store
Closed for sure

A saline
Daydream
Grays beams
Of light streams
So my plight seems
Like a night scene
But my fright means
That my sight’s been
Judged rightly

I’m decomposing
Juxtaposing
My lust with posing
For the trust I’m hosing
Of dust deposing
Varmint nosing

Lost and found
In the ground
Safe and sound
Except for hounds
Who’s sharpened crowns
Lie in darkened frowns
As they roam the town
That exists underground
They belong in the pound
So I can peacefully drown

I know Christians and sinners
misfits and winners
sprites and spinners who fed me my dinner
while we weathered the blizzard
of the grand wizard’s
****** trigger.

We watched in dismay
as Satan decided to stay
to beat the enslaved
and show them their grave.

Their white hoods brought fear
because they killed the queers
and those who chuck spears
we saw the Bible smeared
yet steered clear
because a black man’s teammate
was just as good to cremate
so we figured we’d leave fate
to those who only see hate.

Not our problem
was our solution
we let bigots call them
this world’s pollution
while we built an illusion
of a country of inclusion
yet punished any intrusion.

I saw
and didn’t help
just prayed to God
to avoid those welts
worrying about myself
the Bible went on the shelf.

I saw my brother murdered
yet stood still as a girder
knowing if I went any further
I’d feel the end of their burner.

I wanted to speak out
but there was nowhere to reach out
in America’s deep south
so we put up signs saying KEEP OUT.

The ungrateful people here
Don't seem to appreciate deer
They tell me deer are giant rats with hooves
And I always think to myself
If deer didn't exist
And I told you there was a giant rat with hooves
You wouldn't want to see that ****?

Definitions aren’t meant to fully convey
the meanings of words
in all their complexities and nuances

definitions operate as hints
to help us with a starting point
and as we become more familiar with terms
new functions and usages become apparent
until those words are added to our lexicon

like our conversations with one another
each conversation adding definition
to our understanding of the other’s existence.

This is a torturous test
And I'm failing
In a state of unrest
So I'm flailing
And wailing
And bailing
On living
After constantly giving
And receiving nothing in return
Except extremely intense heartburn
To which there is no end I learn
So for peace my hopeless heart yearns

I want to sleep
In a streak
Of a week
For I'm meek
So I sink
Into drink
And drugs
Rolling on the rug
Looking for a plug
To stop my heart from leaking
And my eyes from peeking
At what I'm seeking
Because there lies only pain
That's a continuous rain
Growing like grain
Until I'm insane

Death is near
All my fears
What will happen before I die?
The question makes me cry
Will life be one big sigh?
I wonder why I even try
The waiting
Is grating
Equating
To deflating
So I become the nice guy
In the lonely night sky
Avoiding brutal daylight
For it's another day's fight
The most unsightly sight
Illuminated by the sun
Shooting rays like a gun
Until I see I'm the only one
I realize if I'm blind I can run
So I cut out my eyes
To ignore all the lies
And the carrion flies
In this giant pig sty

On an odyssey like Homer's
My mouth starts to foam over
Searching for a four-leaf clover
But only finding allergies
Which is this year's salary
In this dismal shooting gallery
Where I'll watch bullets fly
Until the day I die

I enter this world
With fists curled
And eyebrows furled

During this life
I dodge the knife
Like a noble knight
Of a modern plight

The task from above
Orders ask for love
But push and shove
Cause awkward hugs

My wish is bliss
But fists are dished
And my only kiss
Is the one I missed

Time keeps dwindling
Like burning kindling
That’s life riddling

My bullet train
Skull of shame
Full of pain
Bullish brain
Bulls through lanes
With road rage
Until old age
Is my cold cage

A piercing dog whistle
Shoots like a thought missile
Through the bog thistle
Signaling my dismissal

Through the trees
I see the forest freeze
And the lifeless bees
Pile into a sea

I’m sincerely done
With their imperium
Tired of hearing them
Through my delirium

I crash and burn
Like an ashen bird
With no rebirth

I slip away
Into a grave
Where I’ll stay
Can’t press replay
On a lifetime delayed

I'm on a delivery
speeding down this precarious winding road
                  speeding for efficiency
    speeding for style
the sun strobes yellow through the trees
    like a sign for yielding
but the cars behind me tailgate
speed is maintained for fear of getting hit.

          Time flies as fast as
the lines on the road entrance me
          driving through a haze
the sun is obscured by cumulus clouds
           then disappears.

There's low visibility at night and my headlights are fading.
            Everything is blurry through my win shield.
         Weather gets colder in the absence of the sun
                                                       ice forms on the road.
A decision is made to maintain speed at the expense of control.
  A dusty bible slides back and forth in my glove compartment
                 dancing with my wayward movements.

     My light traces the road
like a spark tracing a fuse
the wick burns quickly for a fiery delivery.
My yellow lights trace yellow lines
so the road stays yellow all the time
         but I can see the darkness
over my shoulder as well as the road's
my headlights keep the darkness at bay
        but it's tedious driving this way.

          Movement never ceases
     I shouldn't be texting and driving
but I need someone to know I'm trying.
   This road took everything from me
       this road became my purpose
       something somewhat special
         that couldn't be purchased.

I'm on a delivery
destination undefined
it's not about where I'm going but how far
which is why I wish I could buy a new car.

I’m roadkill with a glint still in my eye
on the blacktop I lie
before the arrival of flies
who finalize a demise
that seems more like a prize.

While I'm floating in heaven
My alarm hits eleven
From sins numbering seven
My transcendence is threatened

I lower my elevation
To experience sin
Giving empty stimulation
Where I don't really win

I fair in heights
50 below Fahrenheit
Like an imperiled kite
Flying a feral flight

Living in the clouds
I hear a thunder sound
So I look around
To see I'm lightning bound

A burn immense
From a herd of dense
Turbulence
Into descent

The gravelly ground
Wears gravity's crown
It starts grabbing me down
Until I'm gradually drowned

The weight is too much
And I sink into the dirt
I say enough is enough
Then perpetuate hurt

I couldn't fly
So I rule below
I'm not gonna lie
I wish I could go

I close my eyes to find you there
and find despair
I open my eyes to see you’re not there
and find despair.

My house is an empty home
made of stone
without you in it
I become a cynic.

I look
and see nothing
so I shook
any feeling of loving.

Life is pain
life is sorrow
so I watch the rain
and pray for tomorrow.

When I was younger
drugs were something I wanted to do
and as I grew older
drugs became something to do
and as I grew even older
drugs became something I had to do
and now
drugs are something I used to do.

Some things are just meant to be
but they’re also meant to have been.

Ostracization
Contamination
Through my deflation
I find devastation
On the devil’s station
Of severed relations

My misfit
******
Sin bit
Prison stint
Reminisced
Of my bliss
Without a kiss
So I eat a dish
Of a returning wish
But I’m a burning witch
Who’s yearning to switch
From learning I’m glitched

I received
A receipt
Of deceit
By elite
Petite
Feet
That stepped on
My weapon
Of inspection
Due to detections
Defused by erections

The jaded
Invaded
And waited
To be hated
So I’d be baited
And mentalities traded

Pickaxe
Sick facts
Impact
My tact
As I react
To the flak
I use to attack
Coming back
On my track
Turning black

How do I deal with their negativity?
Is it really just a matter of relativity?
Must I have my relatives killing me
Before the hatred filling me
Is justified?
Why must I cry
When only dust resides
In my desolate insides?

The heartless devastate
Making me separate
Into a mental state
Completely innate
An unseemly inmate
Of the tumultuous strait
Between finding a date
And the bitter fate
Dinner plate
Sinners make

This challenge leaves me petrified
Possibly electrified
From their pesticide
That infects inside
Until I elect to hide
And convince myself I don’t care
My mental health I won’t share
I’ll just scream no fair
Flailing arms in the air
I will not have been spared
By this devastating nightmare

I like getting freaky
I like getting weird
I like getting *****
With your spear
But I fear
The deviation here
Will eventually steer
Me out of your sphere

I say we need to spice things up
You ask “Isn’t our life enough?”
I wish you wouldn’t call my bluff
And just get into freakier stuff

After enough deviation
There’s no reconciliation
Between our needy nations
I look for a feeding station
While I’m bleeding relation
For fleeting elation

I become attracted to what’s different
Unfortunately you will always be you
So I become insistent
On ******* every animal in this zoo

One at a time doesn’t suffice
I join threesomes and foursomes
The ****** only get more dumb
Making me lose my consortium
Because of my sore thumb
Shooting a ***** gun
Every time I score numb

There’s nothing wrong with being a deviant
But that’s just one of the ingredients
It’s unhealthy to keep feeding it
Until you think *** is meaningless
The only reason you’re believing this
Is because you’re treating bliss
Like a hedonist

There are two kinds of lives
Examined and unexamined
So we see two kinds of drives
One of grace the other famine

Two lives
Intertwined
In the line
We call time
In a bind
Of the blind
Versus kind

We needed an example
Of how to be nice
Though those were ample
We found Jesus Christ
To lead the way
Through the fray
Until the day
He was slain
And died for our sins
Because the bad guy wins

Now when
Holy men
Goal tend
We bend
To their end
As they send
Us to mend
A devil's den
That is of their apocryphal creation
Of which they deny any relation

There are no angels and demons
Only people who are the reason
For this devilish season
And those who are not
Are caught
In the empire crossfire
Until they retire

Floating through life peacefully
Treating everyone equally
The people at the steeple see
Ways to help through deep beliefs
But others pervert it
To divert it
And insert it
Into hateful ideology
That falls onto me
Ominously

The imposition of their will
Is how they get their fill
Becoming jaded predators
Not caring who must be killed
Our pain doesn't register
Once we're billed
Cash in till
Their heart goes still

Pain lingers
From bane stingers
Of shame singers
And grave bringers
Using slave fingers
As blame flingers

The righteous save brothers
The wicked blame others
The two became lovers
To hide pain under covers
Because the righteous
Want to be like Jesus
Once the wicked fight us
The righteous leave us
To turn the other cheek
Until we're up **** creek

Plenty of people act like Jesus unintentionally
And live life exceptionally
Others study religion fervently
Yet continue hurting me
This dichotomy
Is odd to me
Do we need God to see
A way to be?

The real dichotomy is net negatives versus net positives
Though we may never conceive
A measurement I still believe
This battle exists
Our actions persist
But the only judgement we'll receive
Is in the way we're perceived
Yet society's goals aren't the same as humanity's
I know it sounds like insanity
But we act counterintuitively
Like the lawyers suing me
So they can get theirs
While saying life isn't fair
Which may be true
But only because of them
So my frustration grew
Once I saw the problem's stem

I wanted to be a good person
But then I got headaches
And bad breaks
From high stake
Mistakes
Growing jaded
After society graded
My endeavors slated
As failures awaited
I became one of them
A broken gem
Can someone please save me
From remaining the same me?
Or will I spend my time
As part of the grime
Not reading the signs
Until the day I die?

People keep killing one another over religion
So we analyze the apocryphal texts
For differences that could explain the turmoil
And **** one another over the answers we find

When people say “it’s ok to be different”
what they mean is “you have to be different”
in the ways they want you to be different
which are pretty similar to everyone else.

I like to end the game with my shields up
And my hero buffed
And enhancement stuffed
But sometimes that isn't enough
Sometimes I kick the loser while they're down
So they can join me below the ground
In this mentality where I drown

Life is a test
And I gave up
In this game I'm the best
So it's here I'm stuck
In a world of fable
A developer's tale
Where I prevail
And find validation
By achieving victory
Then causing agitation
Because of my misery

Victory means I'm better
Victory means I'm smarter
Once your flag is fettered
I call you a starter
Thinking I'm somehow harder
Discounting my partners
In this digital harbor

With all my bickering
There's no mystery
Why the result starts differing
I hear the enemy team snickering
As my team starts whimpering

I feel my fortune shifting
Once luck isn't with me
And the match starts drifting
From a victorious gifting
To quite laborious indeed

I put all my time into this game
And nothing else
So I feel immense shame
From digital welts
This individual hell
Of a darkened cell
Is where I fell
Convinced my ability
Is proof of some secret potential
I give my life willingly
To prove to gamers I'm special

There’s a difference between dignity and pride
you can lose dignity without even trying
but shedding pride is a constant battle.

The light shines
Everything is fine
But over time
The light declines

The light grows dim
As the days grow slim
Making my mentality grim
When I feel I can’t win

My plight professor
Says I’m a light obsessor
So my sight is lesser
Given the right pressure
Days of shortened measure

The days grow dimmer
So I can’t find a glimmer
Of hope to cope
With the gradient *****
Of the light being choked

As the shadows grow longer
The darkness grows stronger
And ghosts start to wander
Through my past I ponder

The darkness has replaced
Your beautiful face
With a dimmer embrace
So I can no longer trace
My tie to the human race

The light they’re dimming
To continue sinning
Until the room is spinning
And they’re artificially grinning
Is my light of living
So darkness they’re bringing

Somebody shot the sun
With a tranquilizer gun
Now I’m totally stunned
As the plants are done
Growing as one

The light is dimmed
As I am skinned
By frigid wind
I’m living in

My light completely goes out
As faith loses to doubt
On this tumultuous route
Getting punched in the mouth

***** is the only language I know
Burning brightens anguish that grows
Like the blinding light the sun shows
A star providing life
While simultaneously burning me
As I dream of turning free
Floating here I sail a sea
Of words that hurt
And kick up dirt
Of actions that keep stacking
Of factions that keep attacking
Of agency that I'm lacking
To change any of these things
Or the sorrow they bring

The sun's assault through trees
Scorches the dirt off of me
In a world on fire
Incinerators are the cleanest places
In a hateful empire
Interpreters are unwelcome faces
And we continue to count the paces
Until we master mudslides
And we continue to erase the traces
Of our humanity under dirt

We live in this sandstorm
Brought by man's scorn
We attempt to grow corn
But the dusty fields remain barren
When the sun that used to activate photosynthesis
Now burns all the young seeds to a crisp
The seeds are now manufactured
As people wait for the rapture
Unable to see salvation starts here on Earth
And it starts with us cleaning up dirt

I stand in the mud
To guard from the flood
Of parasitic bugs
That try to steal blood
But I’m not an evil vet
So I try to use mosquito nets
That can’t match the torpedoes set

The passing of time
Develops nasty grime
Through blasting crimes
As the lasting mimes
Understand ***** dimes
Fall to those in line

After a while the painted soil
Becomes black from sainted oil
Acquired through tainted toil
To the wealthy go the spoils
Saying it’s healthy to be royal
While our dying planet boils

A tar pit
Carpet
Car drift
Scar gift
Guard shift
Charred rift
Bars lift
To heaven’s gate
So instead I deflate
To a second rate
Panicked state
As the Devil’s mate

Drowning in quicksand
Certainly won’t fix man
But I’m out of tricks planned
To cross this split span
That’s a crypt can
That clips lambs
Who withstand
The whip slams
In this strict land
Where kicks ram
The sick ******
Who picked scams

This tower of dirt
Built by our hurt
Has crumbling girth
So is it really worth
All the pain we birthed?
Like a plague on Earth
Where we play the perp
There’s no way this works

It’s clear to see the disarray
like a raccoon wandering during the day
in the wandering fray
its wandering may
lead it astray
that’s the way
wandering days
sunder our stay
every second a blade
cutting into our DNA
we speak to say
words before our grave
that fall on deaf ears
until we only see death here
and look for someone to rest near
after we’ve extinguished our best years
for a disarray distraction
and repeat this action
in coupled factions
to face the disarray
together more brave
drawn by attraction
we call the spayed a *****
no more attention paid
underneath the waves
we need others to wade
so some of us are just here
wandering the disarray sphere
not playing with peers
facing fears
alone
go home
nobody is there
life isn’t fair
and some must resort to stares.

This isn't happening to me
I'm shackled and I bleed
So to satisfy a greed
Of a comfort need
I plant a seed
Of belief
That my grief
Is beneath

I made this association
With disassociation
For an invocation
Of correlation
For no relation
Just coronation
By the ***** nation
Telling me placation
Is a fine creation

So when my friends make mistakes
I write them off as sad fakes
Ignoring my own bad breaks
Just focusing on the stakes
And what I can take

The pinnacle
Of a clinical
Cynical
Individual
Divisible
By pivotal
Pigeonholes
Is in my scold

Gold grace boldness
Replaced by coldness
To face the soulless
Faceless foe's nest
I aced the code's test
By using a clone blessed
With choosing a tone less
Bruising than a stony desk
Falling on my bony chest
Yet now that I'm alone I confess
My life's become a grown mess

Because now I never know when
Associates are abominable snowmen
So I hide where there are no men
In a computer glow den
Fearing my deserted glen
For in the Serengeti
I don't fear a yeti
But the pain that's steady
I'm feeling already

I try to stick wide
Until a riptide
Grips my
Ship's side
Flipped by
Sins I'm
Pinned by
With no one close enough to help
Not even my disconnected self

My disassociated sloping
Is misappropriated coping
For a misplaced hoping
Of a fire stoking
To cease bloating
So I keep floating
As a blind Boeing
Free fall flowing
Mind not growing
To ease my knowing
Of where I'm going

We find multiple ways to disconnect
Where business and technology intersect
We kick one another for cash
When we need equilibrium for our economy
Our morals disintegrate to ash
And we trade away our autonomy
But we don't dare reflect
Instead we disconnect
We turn people into symbols and numbers
So we can more comfortably slumber
After causing heartbreaking pain
Through bureaucratic chains
Because face to face
Our heart will race
And we'll examine our submerged morals
That lie in the depths with the coral
But our reflection is too much to bear
So we cowardly choose not to care
The only way we can feel ecstatic
Is to turn people into demographics

The Internet connects us
But also satisfies lust
And imitates human contact
Which has a negative impact
The feeling leaves us sated
And we don't feel the need to change
Our armor becomes plated
And we shoot arrows from long range
Because we don't like the idea of being one another
We get used to the idea of not seeing one another
We disconnect so we don't have to try
We disconnect so we can slowly die

The ****** disconnection continues
As we find more violent avenues
We utilize fatal instruments
To ****** without the sense
Of physically feeling
The life we're stealing
We stabbed one another with swords
Until the bullets soared
But we still needed more
So we disconnected further
And became satellite searchers
Studying people through actions
Defining them by faction
We don't have any interest in their personality or flaws
All we're concerned with is if they're breaking the law
The law we wrote to tip the scales
The law that makes us too big to fail

A husband leaves his wife
Disconnecting from her life
She's left with a child
To raise in the wild
Until a drone drops a bomb
On the struggling single mom
She's not an investor
So we'll just harvest her worthless life
Who'll be her protector
When she's near someone we don't like?
We **** her from our computer
That's the way we casually mute her

We carefully cultivated a disconnect
To treat one another like insects
This mentality will infect
Until we interject
Once we finally reflect
Love will connect

I'm home alone
McCaulay Culkin
I hear a groan
Wolves are stalking
Outside my door
And in my core
So I hit the floor
After seeing gore
For I have a sore
And don't want more

I realize they're fighting me
After they start biting me
As a way of righting me
Of the violent variety
Supported by society
Viewing the plight of me
As a fright unseen

The wolves don't need clothing
They just start voting
For a gun toting
Private boating
Guy caught bloating
To call their master
Making them faster
Bringing my disaster

Angry tracking hounds
Making attacking sounds
Start cracking ground
Chasing a slacking clown
Who's backing down
Back into town
With the frowns
Where I drown
Trapped in a lonely well
But as far as I can tell
The hounds of hell
Can't detect the smell
Of where I fell

My prudent propriety
Erased by anxiety
That lies to me
As I try to be
Righteously
Upright to see
Unlike the breed
Of dogs who perceive
Killing with glee

A canine
Fang lines
My mind
And grinds
My eyes
Blind
Please find
A justified bullet
To put in its gullet
For it's a dog bred to ****
Will your heart stay still
Until it has gotten its fill?

Through the fog of disenfranchisement he emerges
Gold watch, Gold rings, Gold hair, Lead heart
He has the resources...
He knows the secret to making money
He must know how I can make that money
So I can finally be happy
As happy as I was before I knew I needed money
Unless the secret of making money is me not having it
He has the influence...
Over those with crumbling foundations of knowledge
And foreclosed homes of empathy
Their situation is dire
They need someone to admire
What channels will this river of adulation lead to, though?
Their minds sneak across the borders of fear
into paranoia
Their hearts scale the walls of love
into hatred
He has the power...
The Botanist tells the customer that the flower is actually a ****
And he must **** it
There are Bedouin villagers who know nothing of the outside world
Except for our bombs
Will the sounds of love be heard over our tanks and guns?
He has no control...
No control of the thoughts of those that live
in the shadows of uncertainty
No control over the brotherhood all men share despite our differences
He is not the sun
And time waits for nobody
And misery finds everyone no matter what
And you can burn the witch at the stake of your fears
But her banshee screams will unleash the titan of retribution
Through all this hatred
Love will save us, right?
Or is love what led us here?

During his crucifixion
Why did Jesus ask, “My God, why have you forsaken me?”?
Could it be that in moments of severe pain
It’s okay to have doubt?

I had a boyfriend with a mental illness
his name was Mental Illness.

Smile of shiny white enamel
radiant down to the dentin

sprinkling ******* on skinny brown blunts
drowned in Kentucky bourbon

fluorescent tubes encased in the ceiling
are fixated above candlelit chandeliers

during the storm the thunder seems like ripples
from lightning bolts that have already struck

trees are split in two (never equally)
a fire lies in the part that is one

the forest floor is filled with fallen trees and dead leaves
ashes fertilize survivors for growth.

Mangled by a gang of doppelgangers
the gangly are ganked by the gander

making advancements in cloning from advancements in clothing
and discoveries made through jean manipulation

facsimiles of progress betray judgement
a hamster wheel is made from a barrel of Kentucky bourbon

two hamsters run in opposite directions, butting heads
until they're teeth are chipped—down to the dentin.

Can you feel that?
Ah, gifts
** **-**-**-**
** **-**-**-**
** **
** **
** **

Drowning deep in my sea of clothing
Wanting your purchase I feel
(Will you give it to me?)
It seems what's left of my nice side
Is slowly changing in me
(Will you give it to me?)

Looking at my own reflection
When suddenly it changes
Violently it changes (** **)
There is no turning back now
You've woken up the naughty in me

Get up, come on get down with the Christmas
Get up, come on get down with the Christmas
Get up, come on get down with the Christmas
Open up your gifts and give them to me
Get up, come on get down with the Christmas
You mother get up come on get down with the Christmas
You ****** get up come on get down with the Christmas
Many are the gifts that have been given to me

I can see inside you, the naughty is rising
Don't try to deny what you feel
(Will you give gifts to me?)
It seems that all that was nice has died
And is decaying in me
(Will you give gifts to me?)

It seems you're having some trouble
In dealing with these changes
Living with these changes (** **)
The world is a naughty place
Now that you've woken up the ******* in me

Get up, come on get down with the Christmas
Get up, come on get down with the Christmas
Get up, come on get down with the Christmas
Open up your gifts and give them to me
Get up, come on get down with the Christmas
You mother get up come on get down with the Christmas
You ****** get up come on get down with the Christmas
Many are the gifts that have been given to me

No mommy, don't stiff me again
Don't do it again
I'll be a nice boy
I'll be a nice boy, I promise
Why do you have to stiff me like that, mommy?
Don't do it again, you're boring me
Why do you have to be such a *****?

Why don't you
Why don't you just ******* and die?
Why can't you just ******* and die?
Never stick store brand in my face again *****
*******
I don't want this ****
You stupid sadistic abusive ******* *****
How would you like to see what's real mommy?
Here it comes, get ready to buy

** **-**-**-**
Get up, come on get down with the Christmas
Get up, come on get down with the Christmas
Get up, come on get down with the Christmas
Open up your gifts and give them to me
Get up, come on get down with the Christmas
You mother get up come on get down with the Christmas
You ****** get up come on get down with the Christmas
Many are the gifts that have been given to me

I live in the drain
With runoff rain
That unlocked pain
Inside of my brain
That’s a dying flame
From mighty shame

This life is draining
Never obtaining
The proper training
Or someone explaining
Something worth retaining
As time continues waning

I live life in the gutter
When my relation to others
Is either finding a lover
Or running for cover
No middle ground under
My path quaking asunder

My life is leeched
And washed in bleach
As I drain what I preach
Focusing on what others teach
So I may one day reach
A tranquil beach

They drained my spirit
Because they fear it
But now can’t hear it
Or see its appearance
Since its draining clearance
After outside interference

My energy sapped
From their attack
I join the pack
Not looking back
Down the swirling drain
Used to put me in chains
Becoming my barrier bane
That carries the pain
Of having nothing to gain
For I can’t handle the strain
Of living life in the drain

Quite a draining journey
traveling through this drainage tunnel
groping my way through the disorienting darkness
arms of lifelessness reach out from the walls
constantly tugging at my shirt
it's my health that they hurt
when I try to run
they grab and stun
forcing me to buy movement
at the price of energy
they hold tokens in their hands
inscribed with the drainage brand
like the hair from the drain in my sink
or the phlegm drained from my sinuses
I wade through the **** of stomach minuses
moving through a drainage tunnel death funnel
aches develop in my feet
as well as my back
I can't handle the heat
or how the inside is black
I start walking slower and slower
as the ceiling gets lower and lower
the backbreaking pressure
makes my height lesser
so I crawl through the filth
of all this drainage I built
the hands that hold me down
are now my only company
their frustrating grabbing
now feels like a lulling caress
coaxing me to stay in this tunnel
all other voices are muddled
because of the drainage in my ear
blocking communication with fear
a wall of wax
that won't collapse
creates an axe
to cut off my head
from suffering dread
wondering when this tunnel will end
because there's no light to be found
in this tunnel I crawl down
gagged and bound
from the hands all around
grabbing at my brain
to push it down the drain.

I spent my life in empty blooming fields
The indifferent magic of life married me to complacency
Until I was cursed...
Cursed with light
A light that blinded me
While simultaneously illuminating the monstrous abyss

On the first night I dreamt of you
You were the King of All That Lasted
Ants of wisdom marched to your orders
You were covered in tattoos; simple little circles that
marked your entire body
You explained every circle represented a different moment in your life
"What does that one mean?"
"That's the day I met you."

On the second night I had a nightmare I had a dream about you
In my nightmare I couldn't convince myself the dream was just a dream
I'd be awake and know it was a dream
But in the dream it feels so real
I begged my local Illuminati to put more fluoride in the water
To no avail
There is nowhere to run in my dreams

On the third night I had a nightmare
I was watching meteors rain out in space
Although it was beautiful I couldn't help but think, "Why aren't they hitting us?"
And then a meteor crashed into Earth
I guess that's how dreams work
Or at least mine that is
When I think I should die I always do
And then I wake up
Did I mention I couldn't move as I watched my world explode?

How can we attain the perspective of the introspective
When detectives aren't respected
By crowds drawn by clowns
Made vicious by the wishes
Of Hades with rabies

In order for humanity to progress
We must all consider our place in society
Emotional disclosure accelerates our human race
Until externalizations halt our momentum
We begin to drift
Discourse drifts toward absurdity
Absurdity drifts toward reality
Reality drifts toward Hell
And accepting reality
Means accepting the bullet's laughter
while it drifts through the innocent
Then we must accept where our souls have drifted
So our minds drift into fantasy
We wrap our abandon ties around our neck
And go to work

We live in a society
Where not giving a **** about what others think
Is actually encouraged
Yes, exchanging ideas can hurt
That's whiplash as we stop drifting and jolt in each other's direction
But communication
Takes detours to dead ends
As honesty and compassion
Elude us
In a self-perpetuating cycle
When education's only purpose
Is learning ******* each other
Before we know too much
Our species drifts toward extinction

Drifting forward hard
drifting toward car
lifting off the tar
near a shifty corner bar.

The engine sputters
the radio stutters
between my mutters
cursing others.

Headlights flow like a waterfall
down this upward incline
without vision I start to stall
unable to read the signs.

Control and vision are lost
like traction to the frost
contraction’s chaotic cost
I keep drifting until I’m tossed.

I’m drinking
Sinking
Into stinking
Slinking

My road to recovery
Must be denied stubbornly
When those governing
Are sending me to Coventry

They have a general notion
Against the genuine emotion
Not included in the ocean
Of their potions

The brand of light
Of the examined life
In this land of strife
Is banned by night

I feel I’m about to fall
Without the alcohol
That mounts a wall
To discount the small

The barricade
The sheriff made
Shares the blame
For this scary game

Smoking *** is illegal
Unlike being evil
So horrible people
Can treat me unequal

The liquor stores
Have quicker doors
Than sniffer scores
So the picker pours

I start drinking
Without blinking
And all I’m thinking
Is of someone winking

Spending my life at the bar
Makes me put up my guard
After a lifetime of scars
I live life on Mars

I become part of the darkness
Floating in space
Becoming friends with the heartless
Love is erased

My friends never die
They just fade away
While I lie
In the gray

Ostracized
From the wise
I cough and cry
Sick inside

I’m all alone
Turned to stone
In the zone
Of their cones

With no hope
I drink to cope
On my downward *****
Holding a noose for rope

I’m killing myself
By filling myself
With a million welts
Will someone please help?

I drive all day
I drive all night
I drive to pray
I drive to fight
I drive
To survive
I drive
To thrive
I drive
Through lies
To criticize
**** eating flies
To minimize
My nocturnal cries

I drive until my hands bleed
No time to road sign read
I must satisfy my movement greed
Until I gain a glorious lead
And I may finally be envied

I drive all day
I drive all night
I drive through rain
To see the light
I drive through blame
To see who's right
I try to stay in my lane
But traffic is tight
I hear a car horn refrain
That's this road's blight

I drive until I hallucinate
But these visions are great
Much better than my fate
And as the hour gets late
The visions determine my state

I drive all day
I drive all night
I drive into clay
Once I lose sight
My car tires
Wrapped in barbed wire
Engine on fire
Like a funeral pyre
The ride has become shaky
From all the bumps I'm taking
In this massive bet I'm staking
That I'll brake before breaking

I drive until I fall asleep
Drifting down this pavement creek
But instead of crashing
Like a cigarette ashing
I fade away without a sound
Into the blacktop ground
And realize I love my car
After we traveled so far
But this revelation comes too late
As I approach heaven's toll gate

There was a point in my life
When I was so depressed
I became addicted to ****** for six years
My friends advised, "Drugs won't solve your problems."
And they were right
I didn't want to flee from my emotions anymore
Through immense pain I achieved sobriety
Afterwards I wandered around
Wondering how people dealt with depression normally
So I asked my friendly advisors
"How do people manage their emotions?"
They answered, "By taking drugs."

You're the best thing I've seen ever
I know that doesn't sound too clever
But on this emotional endeavor
My intellect you sever
Until my face gets redder
Than the scarlet letter
That always looms above
Yet doesn't effect us
Because we have love
To valiantly protect us

I fear this ethereal connection
Won't pass public inspection
I expect an ice water detection
Coming from your direction
But instead I find a warm glow
That only the Lord knows
As long as I'm dwelling
On the stories you're telling

I'm in love with your name
And the concept it contains
I'm in love with your brain
And the wisdom engrained
I'm in love with your stunning appearance
And what you say when no one can hear us
You're the lad in my trailer
You're Vlad the Impaler
Becoming more than a guest in my house
Becoming my future same *** spouse
That sits like a stanchion
In our beautiful mansion
So please abide by my abode
And inhabit my dwelling
Because you've cracked my code
Now buy what I'm selling

My nihilistic nightmares keep me awake
When our intangible connection can break
I get scary dreams
Where you are you
And I am me
And we do what we do
Until I can't see the night through
But when I finally wake up
I want to find love again
No matter how things shake up
We should always be friends

Diamonds and gold coast to coast
oil in the middle
Africa is a **** sandwich
held by mineral encrusted bread
chewed on by capitalists for centuries
who’ve choked on the arid taste before
only to come back for seconds
feeding on scraps and leftovers
using people as napkins to clean their mess
but recently their teeth have started to crack
as globalization creates visibility
the world witnesses the devouring
yet enough people are willing to let them eat
and unwilling to look beyond their **** eating grins.

At one point I couldn’t find love to purchase
I thought you ended those searches
but now I’m getting nervous
thinking I might be allergic
to your nature absurdist
and I can’t swerve this
feeling I’m worthless
stripped of all purpose
boils start to burn us.

I’ve got an eczema
sense of a
relationship
rashly lips
can’t kiss
who they wish.

I can’t leave the house
or your eczema breaks out
you scream and shout
and make me doubt
if your love is devout
when you treat me like trout.

Stress boils through my skin
after you tell me I win
and leave my house of sin
leaving a gift in
an itch
given by a witch
to make me twitch.

You’re the itch that rashes
causing unnecessary scratches
leaving a width of lashes
on my skin in patches
your personality matches
the blistering ashes
of my skin that detaches.

I keep itching
I keep scratching
to be switching
from your thrashing
into comfort
to numb hurt
of dumb words
creating thunder.

A doctor gave me a prescription
to avoid your dereliction
and feral diction.
He gave me an antidote
in a plan of hope
helping me cope
with saying nope.

The rash lingers
like poison fingers
choking me
woefully
draining life
like rain at night
I pray for light
and wait inside.

I found cortisone
in the form of a home
with a man
so I’m in demand
not your empty hand
red from the brand
of all the discomfort you withstand
now that you’re itching like sand
seeing I’m no longer ******.

Wading in an eddy
waiting for edification
outside a rampart levee
lamenting lack of levitation
seeing my sedentary station

has me swimming stationary
where the mud is kicked up
spreading a murky brown mist
anywhere I happen to touch anything.

The white water rapids look pure
—at least from where I'm floating
turbulence is welcome at this point
yearning to leave my mudslide broth.

Estranged from strangers
I call out for help
only to receive hell
until I'm tangled in kelp.

A barrier towers over my totality
pedestrians travel on the other side
traversing toward the other sidewalk
avoiding contact—or maybe loneliness

none of them approach the water's edge
they build walls as a protective hedge
shielding them from the precarious ledge
and those that float in the eddy beyond it.

In order to live life to the fullest
One must accept reality as honestly as possible
In order to better move through life
One must be able to learn the lessons they’re taught
And utilize those signs to move smoother
But people pervert the message of these lessons
Because they’re bitter
They learn edgy lessons
For example:
Someone feels betrayed
They say to themselves, “People can’t be trusted”
When obviously plenty of people can be trusted
And thinking something doesn’t make it true
So they end up projecting their bitterness onto people
Because they couldn’t handle the complexity of their pain honestly
Because they don’t like to think about things that upset them
So they learn an edgy lesson and call it a day
And teach edgy lessons for life

I'm losing hair
As I'm losing air
For what isn't fair
In your electric chair

You strapped me in
And kept me waiting
Your craft of sin
Got me hating
The pain on the other end of the line
The pain that tortured away my time

You're an executioner
With the flesh of Lucifer
And the keen nose of a hellhound
So you can bury me in the ground
And return as you like
To shock me back to life

I feel your electric pain
In a lightning rain
I am reborn
And you're sitting there
I begin to mourn
The fact that you don't care
My death is repeated
After I am defeated

I feel the pain
And need to gain
Someone to share it with
Instead of your electric chair grip