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Jul 2017 · 345
Bilingual
Catarina Pech Jul 2017
Há palavras que não conheço
Falto fluidez,
Quando eu tento falar em português
Eu nasci nos Estados Unidos
O inglês vem mais fluido
E de falar sai a minha personalidade
Conversas com versitilidade
Em Portugal é diferente
Eu sou mais prudente
Se você fala essa língua estrangeira
Você me conhece de diferente maneira
Mas um sorriso é uma linguagem transversal
No mundo, não há outra igual

         translation

There are words I do not know
I lack fluency,
When I try to speak in Portuguese
I was born in the United States
English comes fluently
And from speaking my personality comes out
Conversations with versatility
In Portugal it's different
I am more prudent
If you speak that foreign language
You know me differently
But a smile transverses language
In the word there is none alike
It rhymes nicely in Portuguese, hope my grammar is decent
Jul 2017 · 372
Noisy thoughts
Catarina Pech Jul 2017
I felt a pang of sadness
instead of quieting it, I plucked the string
it reverberated loudly,
bouncing around from my amygdala to my hippocampus
it made me want to play more cords,
until the most melancholy song filled my head
I tried to quiet the song, stop the vibrations of the strings
But my whole head is numb  and prickly from the noise
The pitter-patter of my tears just make a new sad song anyway
Even if I was able to quiet those noisy thoughts,
another is likely to pop in my head,
Start it all over.
No, I need help. A new riff.
Someone to play me something soothing or happy
No one around me knows any
If they do, they don't care to make music for me
Not today,
Today their song is probably gloomier than mine.
Likely tomorrow too.
I am tired and abandoned. Someone smile please.
Jun 2017 · 667
Fisherman's Daughter
Catarina Pech Jun 2017
I was born of a fisherman, fine and faithful
Faithful to God and the sea, faithful to my mother and me
I am a daughter of the sea, sensible and salty
To the sea I am impressed, there is peace that permeates
Perhaps it is in my bones, Portuguese explorer’s blood
When I breathe the salt air, its spirit deflects despair
This love derives from my father, this love affair with saltwater

This man of the sea fosters respect, but also tends to overprotect
Perhaps the sea prepared him to be practical and prudent
Undulating waves shaping his vision, dreams escorted to fruition
For these dreams I am grateful, for the breath of the sea
The lust the ocean produces in me
The love from his heart, the love from the sea
Floated over the waters so lavishly so lovely
I'll send him a kiss across the Atlantic
I hope it lands neatly on his cheek
I hope it reaches him, quick
My father started working on a fishing boat at 13
Jun 2017 · 352
Sorry
Catarina Pech Jun 2017
She said sorry is an expensive word…
Scarcely from her tongue it’s been dislodged
I find it intolerable and so utterly absurd
Why should that word be so intently dodged?
A word so easy to roll of the lips
Why keep it under lock and key?
A word so beneficial to relationships
I have little hope she’ll say it to me,
No, I will smile meekly and pretend
I will be a wall with no feeling
In time things will begin to mend
Despite the anger I’m concealing
Some people just hijack your life
And to get along you just smile
Over the years you swallow the strife
And do your best to not revile
As for me, I will give the word freely
The word sorry is quite nice
It will not get lost in the mealie
This short simple word will suffice
If you don't know how to say sorry you are broken
May 2017 · 471
Missing a Mom
Catarina Pech May 2017
Her thoughts became a jumble, her memory tangled
Oh how easily our fragile mind can get mangled
She used to sing and strum a guitar, while I twirled
Now she moans and cries, frightened of this world
She told me, "My computer don't work good, no more"
I hadn't an idea a battle with dementia she was in for
Her laugh was so boisterous, and her mood often jolly
Now she lies in bed wailing, the last leg of this life folly
She told me stories of a poor farm girl in a land far away
I listened intently, but my thoughts have begun to betray
The memories in this life she shaped have since faded
Of the ones she shared, few remain, forgetfulness invaded
Sometimes a loved one remembers and shares a story
How wonderful to have a new moment of her in her glory
As time goes by and she slips further into murkiness
Our family must gather muster and sturdiness
My mother whom to me is so dear is an empty shell
Sadly, she is so far from herself, on this I often dwell
There is a day still to come, and she will be whole again
My mother at her loveliest with God up in heaven
Mom had a poor education and was prone to flightiness, that allowed dementia  to catch us unaware, it's been about 10 years now, five of them none verbal.
May 2017 · 1.7k
Hockey Widow
Catarina Pech May 2017
It’s the Stanley Cup Finals, The Penguins are doing well
So I’m a hockey widow but on this I don’t dwell
My man is as tense and excited as a first time Dad
So they better kick ***, or he’ll really be mad
If they lose in game seven, I’ll get my husband back
To make him feel better I’ll get nasty in the Sack
Go Penguins!
May 2017 · 782
On a Whim
Catarina Pech May 2017
A whisper of a notion
A whim ready to go
An anti-plan put in motion
A seed ready to sow
Relinquishing to a passing fancy
Do what ever it please
So long as it's not too chancy
A whim on the breeze
Sometimes I have urges to do weird random things, I usually suppress them but  it's more fun when I don't.
May 2017 · 319
What Do We know?
Catarina Pech May 2017
Faith is not understanding and Belief is not truth
Understanding is illusion
Life in a cloud,
Murky with our own notions and frivolousness
Intelligence an irrelevant gift within a chasm
Still, there is meaning in this Life in Limbo,
Death awaits regardless, new life, Limbo cast aside….

Faith converted to understanding, Belief molded into truth
Illusion impregnated by perception
Understanding Reigns True
Our gifts Shine with the patina of knowledge
Embodied in the freshness of childhood
Nothing is irrelevant, everything is of consequence
There are no trivial details in divine blueprints  
Life on a Cloud
Just thinking about how little I know
May 2017 · 434
Enchanted Caravel
Catarina Pech May 2017
An enchanted caravel beside the quay,
sailing away from its intimate port
The ocean breeze will decide the way,
seeking adventure of any sort
A siren enchantress, a beautiful sound,
as the ship is precariously careening
A beastly Kraken has been found;
The enchanted crew beseeching,
“Let us please continue our Journey, beast”
The Siren and Kraken seem charmed
The mystical creatures could care in the least,
if the magical crew was harmed
And so the caravel took up its sail,
and turned it on its side
Taking to the skies it would not fail,
among the stars it will hide.
May 2017 · 292
Torrid Embrace
Catarina Pech May 2017
He is completely ensconced in his true love’s arms
Entranced by her beauty and all her charms
It was her embrace he craved from the very start
Alas, she was not ready to relent her heart
As years marched forward her volition adjusted
In this change his heart he has trusted
For although he’s ensconced by her embrace
She’d promised it to another man in his place
So as their torrid little deception unfolds
It begs you to wonder whose true love she holds

His mind uneasy due to this tribulation
Begging to come to some arbitration
When all is resolved she must be his
Unfortunately in life it seldom is
Her words have given him so much hope
It’s their essence that gives him means to cope
This man has laid it all down on a line
Trusting everything one day will be fine
Time goes on, and with destiny they flirt
The future must bring some semblance of hurt

I am merely an outsider looking in
The man in question is a dearest friend
Although I have never been one to condone
It would trouble me dearly to find him alone
I’ve looked in his heart and have seen what I see
It will forever belong to her,  it’s crystal to me
So I watch the struggle continue along
It’s in his lover’s virtue resolution belongs
It is easy to judge a man by his varying actions
But clearly this is more than merely attraction
So judgement by me has been put aside
For my friend I wish; transform a lover to bride
May 2017 · 308
GO TO F---N BED
Catarina Pech May 2017
Exhaustion is putting raucous children to bed
Left to their own devices they'll  pain your head
Once you've finally settled them down
Your face will be stuck in a perma-frown
Later when you check if everything's OK
They'll look like angels sleeping away  
Don't be fooled by this little deception
Angelic sleeping children are the exception
Be ever aware, certain to stay on your toes
There may be nightmares, as everyone knows.....
Stop; giggling, losing your stuffed friends, talking, telling knock-knock jokes, needing water, using the bathroom, needing extra kisses and hugs or having imaginary ailments
May 2017 · 223
Grief
Catarina Pech May 2017
The penumbra that is loss, cast upon us abruptly

The light creeping onto shadow, kissing its edge

Gazing on the dimness or light, betwixt the two we strive

Arbitration just beyond our sphere, amidst our grief

Concentrating on the brilliance, a difficult endeavor

Maneuvering in darkness, nearly impossible

Remain fixed on the penumbra, await the separation

The momentum of loss may cast us in an impetuous direction

But an eclipse does not last forever
My friend lost both parents in a car accident, this is about sudden death
May 2017 · 314
Best Self
Catarina Pech May 2017
I struggle with the idea;

I am not consciously trying to be my best self

Procrastination is my motto

My best self seems intangible and distant

Will it be fleeting when I‘m there?

Will God take me at the moment I am my best self?

Pick me when I am blossoming beautifully

What if I never do?

My own neglect might render me a useless unopen bud

Would God want me then?

Perhaps he uses buds as the filler for his beautiful bouquets

One can hope and pray

My goal before death; be more than filler, BLOOM
May 2017 · 1.5k
Borrowed Breasts
Catarina Pech May 2017
Oh my cheerful little *******, They hadn’t any notion
Of all the silliness, of all the commotion
One day their purpose would change
Temporarily my body would rearrange
Their use not merely ******,
Suddenly they were meant to be practical
Away with my decorative commodity
Hello to something of an oddity
So I traded in those dainty little things
For two mountains bursting with springs
Slowly the transformation took place
Albeit lacking in grace
Oh, my lovely unpresumptuous *******
Had become so useful, for that I am blessed
My zippy little ****** had grown to such size
And areola darkened and saucerish in guise
So to you I must ask a serious question,
After this, my descriptive dissection
I borrowed my *******, why be afraid?
It is the babes whose homage will be paid
The ******* that had been lent, weren’t ****** or vile
You might even go so far as to beguile
Because their most typical use was on hold
Their new purpose should’ve been a sight to behold
Instead people like to glorify or shame
As if those ******* are actually the same
Forget your twisted ****** mind
And to breastfeeding mothers try to be kind
A breast feeding **** looks nothing like its former counterpart, so lets not be awkward about seeing one.
Apr 2017 · 405
New Friendship
Catarina Pech Apr 2017
Friendship has been fickle
Bonds that last become part of our being
Become our complexity
Changes who we are
I have had the luck of a few of those bonds
But so many are fickle
Friends move , you disagree or lose touch
I have a new friendship, I hope it is not fickle
I hope he becomes a part of my being
Entwined in my complexity
Accepted by those who are already entwined
Without untangling anything vital
Apr 2017 · 627
Mushy things, Sweet Dreams
Catarina Pech Apr 2017
That person who makes you want to say Embarrassing
Mushy things
You can barely stand hearing yourself say
I found that person
I telepathically tell him those things, while he sleeps
How sweet if he actually heard them
In his mind while dreaming
I will keep whispering to him in my thoughts
Writing love letters in his dreams
Apr 2017 · 270
Work
Catarina Pech Apr 2017
There is a drip
It started years ago, slowly
It is torture
The drip is faster now, incessant
Maddening
My love and I weathered it together, for a while
We are cut off now
I am North and he is South, I miss him
Sodden, waterlogged

Up North I’ve found an umbrella, a friend
Twenty minutes a day reprieve
My love’s umbrella blew away, across state lines
Zero minutes a day respite
Not even an old grouch to splash in puddles with
I do, I splash, at times
But when I am with my umbrella, I am blessed
When splashing, appeased

My love and I reunite at home every day, he is sopping
Nearly drowned
I offer intimacy it warms him, dries him off, nearly
A mist still lurks close
Next day it begins again, the dripping
Unceasing dripping
I believe I have the fortitude to handle the drip
But I am not impermeable
Even with my umbrella, because my LOVE is soaked
Sometimes hypothermic
It is about working together at a dead end job until we split to two locations, and our new friendships or lack there of.

— The End —