I live in the desert
Where the snow doesn't fall,  
Losing myself in the wanderings:
Endless, restless, hopless.
For there is no return
To the home I know not.
The wind heaves,
The dirt stirs,
And I remain.
There is no escape,
There is no alternative,
For I live in the desert
Where the snow doesn't fall.

                                  tsk

You gave dusk
A whole new meaning.
The coming of darkness
Has become my greatest
Most terrifying fear
The one that knocks
On the door
At the end of every day
And that creeps past the threshold
Welcome or not.
And it all become a game
Of hide and go seek
As I run from the pain
Cower from the emotion
Flee from the memories.

                                              tsk

shall i make you immortal
turn you into a poem
a mournful sonnet
a worshiping ode
should i press your figure
between the pages
or to form you as a masterpiece
this beautiful creek of thought
to make you a poem
is to remember you
and to remember you
is the uttermost fear.

The problem, I realize,
Is that the way
I protect myself
From the innermost pain
Is the same way
I protect myself
From the innermost pleasure.

They used to say
"you make a better wall
than a window"
meaning don't stand
in someone's way
because they can't see through you.
Yet now I dare not stand
in any one's way,
and more than one
seem to look
right through me
as if I weren't there at all.

I laugh
Not because I'm in love
Nor because of insight
Or wit
Or humor
I laugh
And I laugh because
You think I know
What love is

If I find myself hating what I've done
If I find myself repulsed by who I am
If I find myself losing whom I know
If I find myself loathing things I think
If I find myself forgetting what I love
If I find myself looking for what I have
If I find myself unsure of where to turn
If I find myself not knowing how to feel
If I find myself wondering what to do
If I find myself standing at the choice
If I find myself, then I will know,
I am truly lost.