Forgive me for causing you pain,
You are the unlikely person I have to hurt,
I am viewing our love circle the drain,
The end we can no longer divert.

I say farewell to your crumbling mask,
Hello to the intruder underneath,
Who are you? The enquiry I won't ask,
You never own what lies beneath.

Your outer skin surpasses perfection,
But you fail to show a darker side,
Afraid if you uncover that section,
You will squander your only spot to hide.

I clutched onto this dream too long,
Too tightly, believing you would change,
You could, but you don't realize what's wrong.
Our happy ending is right out of range.

The word goodbye is a heavy blow,
It lands like a fist, hitting your heart,
I know you say it aches to watch me go,
But it's far worse to be the one to depart.

It kills me when you're in pain
You said it does worse to you
It makes you feel alive
But in all the wrong ways
It makes you feel the sun of each day
But the fire, not the shine
It makes you feel the rain
But the storms, not the mist
It makes you feel the earth
But the mud, not the grass
It makes you feel the air
But the wind, not the breeze
It makes you feel the water
But you drown, not swim
It makes you feel alive
But the pain, not the love

You change your mind like he changes girls.
Never breaking a commitment, but hurting just the same.
You say that you're not like him,
but what you do sweetie.
Is just as bad.

You lead them on.
Get their hopes up.
Only give a taste.
Make them love you.
Then change your mind.
On to the next perfect guy.

Repeat.

This way you never get hurt.
Protecting yourself, without realizing the damage you've caused.
Really, you're no better than he is.
At least he knows he breaks hearts.

So maybe that means.
You're worse.

What does it mean
to be better
First I smiled
then I sighed
Back then I asked myself
Does better feel like what I feel now?

Numb

The answer is no
I fell back into old ways
Wanting to get better
I had nothing to aim for
Still as clueless as before about what is meant

I look in the mirror
and laugh
Still clueless

Have I gotten better?
No
I've gotten worse

Now
I'm more clueless
Do I want to get better?

Good question

Finding the cold warm
I snuggle deep into the snow
The flakes of which lie and grow
With each passing moment the momentum grows
My lamentation grows and my heart
The one as cold as ice shows
Though not from within me
From everywhere for each flake of snow is where my heart resembles its cold white glow

It's funny how life works.
When I was younger
I used to not care.
Now I'm older
And I care too much.
I can't decide which one is worse,
Caring too much
Or not caring at all