I wish I had the money
To buy myself a yacht.
I wouldn’t spend it that way
But would love what I bought.
I’d have a huge party
With every friend I know
And let it go on and on
For about a week or so.

And, gifts to everybody
Who was ever kind to me.
Just something thoughtful
To give them gratefully.
I’d pick things out carefully
And wrap them up nice
And in some cases I’m sure
I’d do it at least twice.

I’d rent a fancy house
That overlooked the beach
With kayaks and hammocks
All within everyone’s reach.
And I would hire a caterer
To make delicious foods
So nobody would hunger
No matter what their mood.

And I would hire musicians
To play on regular intervals.
Maybe local songwriters
And super talented minstrels.
And I would wear my finest
Most beautiful things I’ve got.
That’s what I would do if
I could buy myself a yacht.

I wish my lips could touch yours
Like the ones before me had done
It would be a great privilege
As if it were something given by God

I stand here longing for your hands
For them to wrap around mine
I long for your own heat and sweat
To meld into my own

I stare into your eyes hoping they stare back
I want to see your soul in its quintessence
I want to see your flaws and shortcomings
And fall for every one of them

When you wish for more
More than you're given
More than you'll ever get...

When you dare to contemplate a life with more
You're definitely sure
To drown.

A busy city with busy people
With dreams and aspirations crammed into 22 sq. miles
The restless hustle and blaring horns
People looking for a life reborn

Keeping their eyes low and walking fast
Cars that always slam on the gas
Every street has a different story, and every story has a different listener.
A tiny world of its own,
But the city keeps getting bigger.

Returning to my routine
And missing the place I'd rather be,
Day in and day out doing the same thing
After moments have become distant memories.

The place I will one day live, won't sit and wait for me,
But I still dream of New York City as the place I want to be.

Of all the times to be alive,
why did it have to be now?

I quietly awaken from a metallic misty slumber.
My head pounding, I roll over. Expecting to feel the scratchy bed sheets I had fallen asleep on, I feel a sudden fear, because I am falling.
Falling into a strange darkness. Deep black hues sitting around me as I plunge down.
I look and seem scared, but I secretly feel excitement pumping through my veins.
Stale, stabilized air, swims around me.
I now realize that I have been on the ground for quite a while.
No sound-No light.
I search around for answers, but while laying there
not paralyzed-but fearful to be where I am.
where am I?
An electric hum circulates throughout the lonely area.
I roll over and cry.
The world is so far away from me...have I left the world?
Cold and alone. Alone and scared.
A faint far away light shines behind me.
Revealing the area to be a total nothingness. As if I were floating in a pitch black continuous space.
I stand up and slowly turn towards the light.
My heart stops. I loose every ounce of sweet air breathing through my lungs. An electric zing stings my every nerve. My brain screams in confinement-as if it no longer can control my body.
I slowly feel my blood flow throughout my body.
My heart beat is so loud-echoing throughout this hollowed out infinite area.
I see you. A shining light. Radiating warmth and light. Reflecting electricity off of everything and nothing.
Absorbing every ounce of life. But in a joyful exciting way.
Mesmerizing. Without thought I feel a compelling feeling that it is ok to move towards you.
I glance down at my skin-which seems to be a very pale and lifeless gray. My fingernails slightly purple.
Your skin glows with sunshine and life, while mine is a piece of lonely death. Your eyes deep and alluring, while mine forever fade into oblivion.
I walk towards you. Feeling a happiness fuel up my soul. Turning my aura a warming peach.
You are alluring and intelligent.
I get close and reach out my warming pale hand.
You reach out in amusement, allowing our fingers to touch.
I get electrocuted with life. I become bright-glowing-alive.
I feel no more pain. I feel simple happiness. Excitement that only comes from exploring uncharted territory.
I feel sunshine flow through my veins.
But you look away and smile.
Distracted.
Your hand lowers away while mine is still reaching out.
I fade to a glowing hue of serene pink.
A feeling of longing rushes over me.
I look over to where your attention lays.
Another beautiful light swings this way.
You waltz off calmly with the other lovely brim of light.
Still amazed, I just watch. Crying inside-but too afraid to show it. Fading away inside- but shining on the outside.
I watch your light's float away wishfully in a pool of happiness.
While I sit and watch in a whirlpool of lonely longing.
I realize that I cannot find my way out.

And so maybe it wasn't true.
Maybe it was all just a myth I wished to be true
I misread the signals & believed every word you said
Ignored all the warning signs & your addicton
How silly of me to be blinded of the truth
To think that i loved you, oh I must have been ******.
Cause that was a just a big joke
Inlove with how you treated me, and the warmth i felt whenever by your side.
How I hated to say good bye.
And every kiss or hug just felt like I was at home. 
But that wasn't real
It was all a myth designed by my first ever intimacy
Oh how would it could have continued
How I wish it could only have been real
But it was a good lesson to Me
What you feel may not always be real
So be careful of what you let get to you .
You may not recover if the damage is deep.

And suddenly every song,
poem,
and shooting star,
Was about you.
And I wondered
If that would ever stop:
If every star,
Birthday cake,
And wishbone
Would always be for you.
Or if one day
I could wish on something new.