A yearning swallowed softly,
In the wake of reality
Never dared to be dreamt -
It fades away, leaving whispers behind.

They follow me as I work, and
Gaze wistfully out of the misty window -
As I lay in my bed, tired
Dreaming softly of worlds (not my own).

Those whispers distract, daze,
Destroy - destroy my life, built so
Tirelessly with my sweat and despair.
How could I throw away all of this,
When I worked so hard to get it?

Those whispers, they answer -
You worked for it, yes,
but you never
Wanted it.
What is it that you want?

And my traitorous mind, it whispers
(no, screams) back -
Dew-dropped meadows, sunsets that
Burn like fallen gods;
Views that steal my breath, suffocate
Until no thoughts remain.

Awe that makes me breathless, paralyzed -
A beauty so vast it cannot be
Understood.
Dawns that rise with me, falling away
Like old skin, the sun raw
On my transformed self.

Oh, I know what I want.

i am starting now
help me teacher i just want

What is it i want
To be a silent lake whilst the swans dance
To be a tree dancing to the sound of the wind whistling
To forever rot in my bed till my inevitable demise
No
What i truly want
Is to be dead
To be rid of this awful existence where my future has already been written by those before me
No
I just wish to never wake up from my sleep
Like a bear in hibernation

I want
the postcards,
travel plans,
the touch,
words of affirmation.
And I want you to
hold me while singing out loud at the concerts,
pull me close while kissing,
hold my hands in the silence,
sit by my side while sulking.

I'll drop to my knees for you;
You don't even have to ask.
Just let me do this simple task -
let me hear those shuddered gasps.

i want
write poetry