My skin is prison walls
My body is the inmate.
It’s a one-woman jail
Nobody pays my bail.

There’s no way out
In vain do I shout. / I can’t even shout.
This lack of choice
Has muted my voice.

My mind is the prison guard
She is omnipresent.
Her presence is less than pleasant.

My feet don’t really complain
Even my arms follow my brain.
Barbed wires made of thoughts
Erase this inmate’s hopes.

I am beginning to understand
I was formed whole
Nothing was left out
Nothing to be sent along later

So then what am waiting for
To start my life
Why do I play so small
In this garden of abundance

The walls of my fears
It seems are illusions
Fabrications I cling to
Protecting me from an imaginary abyss

How to tear these walls down
And emerge from this prison
From the sad aloneness
Into joy and connection

i have spent far too much of my life
building towering walls with no arches, without windows
without any view to the outside world.
i would much rather have liked it if i would have built fences instead.
fences are moveable.
you can push the rows and rows of wire or wood a foot to the north
or a foot to the south
or make a curve in the line.
fences don't block everything out,
they don't keep everything in,
and they don't hurt as much when they fall.
walls, on the other hand,
crash
and burn
and take months and months to rebuild.
fences?
fences can be put up in a day or two
depending on how difficult you want it to be to get in/get out;
fences can be taken down in a day or two
depending on how easy you want it to be to get out/get in.

I know its cliché,
your eyes see right through me.
I spill all my secrets and desires to spend another moment with you.
I betray myself in your heartbeat.
I can's stop myself when I'm caught in your gaze.
Your eyes are an illusion of home.
I should have known better, for now I'm trapped.
My walls have crumbled only to be surrounded by yours.

I treasure these stone walls that keep me warm at night, when I know its other occupants share no spark. The bitterness and filth of the night hold no triumph over me when the darkness of these baren walls hold me tight, bundled in their sheet of black silk. Walls are so inviting, they make a home and a fortress for my dreams to spindle into webs of mysteries and delights only I can fathom. For there is no need for windows nor doors when I do not intend to leave and there is no reason for me to depart. The moon has broke my heart, and the sun has crisped my soul far too often. My mind is all that remains intact and must be protected. No rabid creature can disarray my beautiful mind again. It must be kept sacred  in these beautiful stone-cold walls.

I have spent months building
All kinds of walls
To keep you out

I haven't seen you
So these walls have been working,
But I worry

Because I know the universe will make me see you again,
And I'm afraid that when I do,
You'll take one look at me,
And all my prized, intricate walls
Will instantly fall to rubble

And you'll casually stroll across
My ever so familiar threshold,
And right back in,
To me