I wish I had learned to play an instrument
there is an untouched part of my soul
that will never have a voice
a chance of expression
I can never be truly lost
in music

I hear your voice and
I hear poetry, music
and everything nice

6:11 PM
9/8/21

at first, the thunder cracks my eardrum.
the rain punches the soft ground after
being held back by the clouds for so long,
and I cannot see past the blanket of darkness.
as the storm rages on, the thunder roars,
but my body knows best like it always does.
my hands carefully craft a cup of strong tea,
and my body rests in front of the fireplace,
and the obnoxious thunder lowers its voice,
and the violent rain's touch becomes softer,
and I finally see the light peeking through.

I can feel the memories being pulled away
stolen in broad daylight
dragged from my consciousness
and
shoved into the compartment labeled neatly with your name

your voice stumbles its way through long hallways and down seemingly incessant stairwells
until it reaches a room with security so adept that not so much as a whisper goes unnoticed

your touch floats from neuron to neuron
getting lost in my space
until it is drawn into an empty corner
where it will stay tucked away out of my reach

I am losing you
piece by piece and moment by moment
exactly the way I knew I would

I am losing you, being robbed of my remembrances

but don't you dare, not even for a second, think that I ever let you go

Bruised and bandaged blisters
On hands ravaged by wars
Against one's own life through years
Paired with cascades of burning tears
And left dangling o'er wooden floors.

Though you may run from your fate,
You'll never escape its iron grasp.
Reality will grab you and hold you down,
Pulling you under a diminished frown
Until you end the pain at last.

i'm sure everyone has loved a song that they've heard somewhere,
but they don't know the name of it
or how to describe what it sounded like
and so you try to replicate it, but it is not the same
and so you try to listen to other music to forget about it,
but it's so stubborn that you don't notice the new notes.

i knew someone who was like one of those songs
oh that was a beautiful experience, he was beautiful, and his voice was like the song i couldn't get out of my head

i remember his face and his voice and him just enough to recognize him but not enough to find him, and
i know enough about him to know that he exists, but not where he does
the thought of him gives me butterflies and excites me, and i want to find him but i can't, i know some but not enough
and the thought that i have lost him forever destroys me every moment of my life

even though i don't know who you are or where you are or how you are, you are real and the way you made me feel is real and i know that you exist somewhere and someday somehow we will meet and i will bask in knowing that i wasn't wrong about your beauty

now i cover my ears because i know
if i do hear anything else
either i'll be consumed with my want for you
or i'll forget you altogether