These words remain untitled,
Unsure of their real label.
Do they tell a story of loss or of love?
Of confusion, no doubt.
So many emotions, yet still no left words to describe.
The darkness in which I sit, is almost defining.
The quiet rings against my worn eardrums.
Night, which brings solace to others, brings uncertainty to me.
For I am a victim of tomorrow’s antics.
Memories and dreams draw near to each other,
The pair, a frightening combination.
Torment rakes through my night,
Leaving no sane survivor.
The moon pokes at my eyes to keep me awake.
My regrets and potentials poke at my brain.
Mistake after mistake after mistake,
There is a future out there for me that holds a similar fate.
The question echoes in those ringing ears of mine again.
It stretches and folds against my gyri.
There is no escaping the poison in the thought.
Is who I am enough?
These words remain untitled,
Afraid of their real label.

Why have you stopped writing
little nothings that hold such big
meanings?

I long to read your words and
hear your whimsical voice and
the sounds that escape your
mouth when you laugh.. Just
tell me what I need to say to
bring everything back..

I know right now you're surrounded
by the darkness; lost within your mind
and what's around you that makes you
want to (maybe)  cry?

I'm trying to be supportive and stick to
your side- I'm sorry that I'm at a loss
for words; and that I'm not sure why.

I'm supposed to know what to say, aren't I?

Isn't it sad
when the only person
you want to be near is
half way across the country
and they're tired of waiting
so they decide to come see
you because they'll be a tad
bit closer to you but you have
to go away on that particular day..
so now it's all over no more
I love you, goodnights..
"but I hope you're sleeping tight.."
no.. it's some kind of not-so-harsh
goodbye.. it's not beautiful either
it's a heart breaking kind of pain that
stays in a range of months to days.
So don't tell me you hope that I'm okay..
because I'm not going to be
not without you.

i pray that today
you will read my words and concern

i will write happy, i will mostly write sad

we both know there is a dark spot in my mind
surrounded by the light you have created

but you are the reason for my happy words

and the inspiration for my sad
because you are that contrast

-

i pray that tomorrow
you will read my words and smile

i will write happy, i will write sad

we both know there is a dark spot in my mind
surrounded by the light you have created

but you are the reason for my happy words

and the inspiration for my sad
because you are that contrast

-

i pray that next month
you will read my words and be proud

i will write happy, i will write sad

we both know there is a dark spot in my mind
shrinking into the light you have created

but you are still the reason for my happy words

and the inspiration for my sad
because you are that contrast

-

i pray that in a couple years
you will read my words and reminisce

i will write happy, i will write sad

we both know there was a dark spot in my mind
emerged by the light you created

you are the reason for my happy words

and still the inspiration for my sad
because you are that contrast

-

i pray that in the future
you will still read my words

what would i write, what would i write?

we both know there was once a dark spot in my mind
unsure if that has endured
tripled in size
or simply non-existent
perished by the light you have created
or the light you have substituted for dullness

will you be the reason for my happy words?
if any remain?

or have you truly inspired my sad
because you went from black and white
to simply black

-

i pray that you would not continue to read my words...
...out of pity

i would write sad, i would write sad

we both know my mind would be dark
pitch black
a lack of light

i would have run out of happy words

because there would be nothing but sad
filling the empty holes
you have dug with your absence

everything is black

I want to know what my heart truly desires, but I'm afraid with what might be the answer.

What am I really thinking?

Its like rain falling into an ocean.
Time passes, but waters never run any deeper.

This emptiness the loss of evidence.
Evidence that I can pull myself through the cracks.
Like I'll fall apart from the weight of nothing.

I see now here a fame
A perfect announcement
Of one God! That figured
Means me and my fertility
Beneath the treasure of absence
I love to listen wind, when I lay.
Upon the grass of my grave

I see you in the petals that drop, singing he loves me. He loves me not.

The soles of my feet
     kiss the lush blades
     that never harm or
     undo me.
     It's the sound of
     jays in the trees
     and the wood burning
     fragrance from
     Autumns offering
     What magic is this?
     is it the work of a witch?
     Or a God that knows
     full well of their creations.
     Do they master the landscape?
     deciding where to place
     every work of art,
     like fingers uncurling
     to breathe life from the dust.
          One single motion,
           scatters us all
           to become runners
           in all the colors of fall
           Blank canvas of winter,
           Cherry lips in spring
            blooming fully in summer,
            I know the way to
        make an offering
        of thanks,
        I kiss the face of one
        who knows the pace
        Of my heart through the seasons
        giving me reasons
        to never fear the leap
        or the break.
             They know my footsteps
             won't regret or forsake
             The adventure of
             discovering beauty in
             Both joy and suffering
             because life is as fleeting
                     as seasons.