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Raquel Butler Apr 2017
Listen* to your father they'd say,
Make sure you seek father's approval,
Respect your father,
Never talk back to father.
Even if he is wrong, obey your father.
Father knows *best.
Or does he?
The Vault Mar 2017
I want to smile
A real smile
Not the fake ones
I put on every day
I want to smile
But I can't
I can't be happy
When there is nothing
To be happy about
A smile seems to hard to do
When all you can think about is
Unhappiness
I try to be stronger now.
But I killed my strongest self, several attempts ago
I push it away,
but darkness always returns;
I am reverted to the worst version of myself.


She is 16 and sobbing out her sorrows in her bathtub,
to her favorite razor and a bottle full of pills.
She is self-destructing but, she can't say why.
Someone else's words have cut out her tongue.
Her mouth bleeds out their words against her,
trying to save herself she locks her jaw into a smile, that lies to everyone around her that she's fine.
But, her body fills with their hatred and she learns to loathe herself
Slowly, her heart is smothered and her mind breaks.
She becomes so full that she burst at the wrist, just to get some relief.


I return to the present,
I've made a mistake.
I am too weak again to this world.
I look at myself in the mirror.
I watch the blood on the counter make small pools from my wrists.
And I give into it.
I will never fully be myself again.
I have killed myself too many times,
Sometimes I wish my body wasn't too stubborn to die.
TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE, SELF HARM, DEPRESSION.
Mariah Wynn Feb 2017
The diligence of the mask,
cast over
grief and self pity.
Surrounded by peers
of the same committee.
Pain glistens in the eyes,
home to dark bags that gaze
at the end of the bottle.
We put ourselves in full throttle.
We take our hats off to tomorrow,
and intake clouds into our chest.
No need for rest.
As we decide to sit side by side,
Sky high.
Where we can lie,
and hide
the grief we have built up inside.
For our former selves,
that we've thrown aside.
There's a time where many people cope with situations in life through masking the pain with substances. Those people find other people who are hurting and doing the same thing. It's hard to get out of that funk even when you just miss and crave the person you once we're. Who was without pain
Cody Haag Jan 2017
The noise never falters away,
What it is, I cannot say.
It plays in my head like a twisted song,
It tells me what I am doing wrong.

Sometimes it seems to play aloud,
And I question why others don't see its shroud.
But my mind is what is slipping,
The seams are tearing, ripping.

I am not crazy. But I do suffer.
I tell myself to be tougher.
But words are nothing in the face of fear.
They are nothing to stop my tears.

I dream of silence, it seems grand.
I dream of a different time, different land.
Books take me far, I escape it all.
But one day, I might still fall.
I never realized how much hate is in this world
until I stared at the eyes of a little girl
whose face whispered innocence yet whose  soul
screamed contempt....
K G Oct 2016
In the backyard I strayed far, far along
It was bound to happen
You find your balance and start to tip off
Still you go on and on
Floating right by your flaws
Float by empty bottles when you scoff
I know its not my place
But you need to stay inside
Take time to recover from memory loss

I know it's not my place
but should you care about fame and pride
If you refuse to remain alive?
You should close your eyes
I'd press them with my cheek
You cannot live without the thought of genocide
Hold your ears and fall, fall asleep
The next pill when send you a hundred feet high
This time you won't trip off the peak
Joshua Vega Sep 2016
At the door, you dragged your boots,
Covered your tracks,
Sighs wavered in the hall,
Smearing the sweat, adjusting the thermostat.
You didn't hear me breathing between the paper and the walls.
Scarlet roses screaming, eyelids fluttering in cahoots.

You set the hat down on the counter,
Hoping I’d be there to hang it, brush the fur,
pound potatoes into your dinner,
Sending my pulse soaring with the birds.

The nights spent rancid and dank,
Lonely and dim, the moon offering a borrowed grin,
Playing craps with its teeth across wooden planks,
Where the ribs crack carelessly

Around smoke, sending
Ella’s voice to haunt the air,
Creating the vices that drag you by your toenails,
Floating through the dust that settles around your hair.
The bath tub beckoning in drips for you to visit the holy grail,
Clean the soul, praying in fire that marriage accepts amends.
AD Snail Sep 2016
I can’t hang on,
I am my own demise,
I have fun with making a wreck out of myself.

I cannot stop myself from making a bunch of mistakes,
I try to fix everything by myself, only to have it blown up in my face.

I’m fighting a battle that I started,
I made without clearly thinking about the consequences,
I’m ****** because I wish to bleed and suffer.

I can no longer hang on,
The lies and the truth are now both the same,
I am no longer able to stand on my own,
So now I let myself fall freely down to my own demise.
When you have been in a dark place in your life.
Melanie Kate Mar 2016
I've been where you are
In the darkness
Filled with night lights
Sweet liquors and scents
That dull the ache
Distracting you from your heart:
The heart that you hate
For loving someone far from reach.

I've felt the agonies
Of misunderstandings
When my words could not be heard,
And my soul remained unseen
Because I was drowning
In my own lies and stories:
Falling from my own heights,
A million miles above the crowds.

I've walked this path
That you're dragging yourself on.
I've held the hand
Of self-betrayal in a dark room
And wondered if I'd make it:
Til morning... til the light came.
I've been the one screaming,
Everyone thinking I'm laughing;
I've been the broken one.
(C) MKD 2016
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