even the mere idea
suggestion
of self harming bothers me
yes, it is selfish
ungrateful
ignorant
but also very sad
i cannot come to terms with the fact that people hurt other people
so much they resort to hurting themselves
as long as God exists, you are not alone
how could you hurt Him like that?

she's yelling at her reflection
as tears run down her pretty face
"you're happy, you're ******* happy"
she screams at the mirror
"you're ******* HAPPY
you have parents
and a home
a boyfriend
and a best friend
so what if daddy's packing his bags
and he's forgotten all the promises he made
and mommy's stopped talking
isolating herself from everyone
even her little girl
and that life under your roof is a living hell
because everyones coexisting
but no one speaks to each other besides over text
so what if your boyfriend lives miles away
you don't get to hug him everyday
it kills you knowing you can't hold him close
and that your best friend hasnt eaten in weeks
her hair's begun to fall out and and she's lost her personality
you have money and shelter and resources
you rich *****
BE HAPPY"

?

when an orange drops from the tree

in my garden

i do not leave it in the soil to rot

but gently pick it out and wash it

and place it in the fruit bowl .

there it stays upon the kitchen table

as if made to be admired !

and when it cannot be admired more

(having somewhat lost of its appeal)

i do not throw it out

as all ungrateful mothers' children do

i eat it and Thank God

So long have I been filled with doubt,
Too afraid to let pour out.
But tonight, in the midst of the storm in my spirit,

I curse your name and all that you are.

Hollow and fake.
You're no "give" and all "take".
When you speak of your life,
I can feel my hair turning gray.
I despise what you are.
I loathe what you say.
But what disgusts me the most is what you do everyday.

Liar. Sham.
You were all along.
You'd cut your own arm off before admitting you're wrong.
Prideful. Ungrateful.
You reek of greed.
Unable to distinguish what you want from what you need.

Selfish. Vain.
Quick to point a finger.
But when you are selfish,
You're the last one to linger.

Continue your fascade. Maintain the charade.

Karma's almost here and you're in the way.

I tell you I missed you,
you press your lips together in silence-
as if admitting that you felt the same
would result in the loss of your voice,
forever.

Sometime today...

I look up at the sky
It is cloudy and dark
Flickers of lightning
And growling of thunder
Threatening the day's work
With uninvited wet showers
Bad for business, these rains
Keeping our customers indoors
Filling our potholes to the brim
Drenching our zeal to work
I look, as the drops fall down
In their multitudes
Clattering against my window
Bearing down on my roof
Intent on washing away my hopes
I miss the sunshine and its rays
I miss the warmth of sunrise
I miss the comfort of sunset
And with all my heart
I loathe the rain
Yearning for the sun
Soon a remembrance is awaken.

Somewhere in the past...

I looked up at the sky
It was sunny and dry
Debris of dusty winds
And a hot tempered sun
Worsening the day's labor
With unfriendly heat waves
Bad for farming, this heat!
Keeping our seedlings underground
Drying our boreholes to the bottom
Smoking our will to work
I sweated, as the rays blazed
In their fury
Burning through my window
Melting down my roof
Determined to roast my vision
I missed the rain and its showers
I missed the chills of the storms
I missed the drizzles of dew
And with all my might
I despised the sun
Praying for the rains
As if that would quench my thirst!

Yet I wish it away as soon as it comes...*


© Raphael Uzor