Twelve.
Such a wonderful age.
The human is still young, yet beginning to gain more knowledge.
But my twelve was different.

My twelve wasn't playing with toys
Or reading books all day
No.
It was about working a hard job under my stepfather's violent hand.

About crying out for help
Yet too quiet to be heard.

My twelve was about finding the power of
Turning mental pain into that of physical
About the box of pills in my drawer
And a bottle of water helping them get into my system

My twelve was about going to sleep
And hoping i'll never wake up
About my mother not knowing her child tried to end his life
At its very beginning.

A bad day away
From the end of things,
Cause not a person stays.

And everything remains the same,

Despite all the change.

An hour to twelve,
When the clock strikes.
I burn one down.

And the match reminds me of hell;

Of dark depths, lit by scorching light.

Most deepest of desires, and precious hopes
We are fond of holding you close,
Fearful we will share our thoughts

And be lost to ourselves

To understand, what we know we never can

and i fear when seasons
and anything in particular
changes
its rooted far from rational explanation
reason removed, because i know
change is good
and those things that come with it
i know, i know
twelve thousand fold
for how long have i been told
fearing of change
is folly
when life is change
odd and strange
as paintings by dali

We show the fatigue of Twelve hours
       of duty, to care for those that
Cant even breath without our care..

When we leave those that we wish
could survive till our next shift.

We go to grocery stores to find
             our next meal,
but shelfs stripped clean...

By those who don't need,
but horde more than there need,
                          for either greed or profit.
                                                      We weep,
for we are holding our hands out like Oliver!!

        Sir, Madam do you have anymore,
As we weep with empty stomachs..
      making do with the scraps left behind..

            "Sorry not till our next delivery,

                             But ill be at work then..
A tear drops lonely down a cheek.  

             Yes I've seen eBay, or online selling sites...

They make me sick to my heart,
        to think I may have to save these gluttons
on an empty stomach.

But I don't judge
              I just drop a tear for those I lost the
night before.

I tried,
               they tried
              but this venom, sinks in fast..

I wear the scars on my face, the masks digging in,
                   the cracked skin that I don't have time
to moisturise as I know its been a twelve hour shift.

                                                       I only sleep a few,
     my moments of peace and tranquillity woken
early...
        My beeper goes off, were on call..

At least I got more than most,
           I give myself a two minute stretch,
  
and a wake up call, then I'm in fresh gear,
          sanitise my hands, and put gloves on.

I'm fearful of this virus, as many have fell like
warriors on the battle field, now breathing through
                                masks of life and death.

But my vow of care is strong and I shake off
              this fear, and walk into the ward a warrior
of positively.

"I will care for the fallen,
           I will hold a fearful hand,

never will I let anyone go.

But I'm only one in a sea of many.

If I can keep on breathing till they have strength

             its a win..