When changing a diaper,
When I’m helping with the bills trying to decipher,
At work while I’m helping a customer,
At night when my wife is putting our son to sleep and he’s getting fuss with her,
When I’m studying for my IT Certifications,
When I’m trying to enjoy a staycation

I guess creative sparks just move about at their own timing and pace,

With minds of their own, they choose the time and place

Washing my hands
Doing my ***** laundry
On rocks of regret
Wondering
Just what got into me
Crawling under my skin
Without my noticing
Catching me off guard
Unstable and insecure
You are the virus
Overtaking me from every angle
Until my brain is drowning
In thoughts of you
memories replaying on a loop
Wondering just how you got here
And how you’ve planned your escape
Or if you’ve decided to haunt me
Infinitely until I’ve returned to you
But that day will never come
Beaten and bruised
From the saga of our downfall
Unable to return
To the scene of the crime
The one where you mistook me
For some kind of fool
And fed me lies
Until I was choking on proof
Leaving me abandoned
Searching for the truth

You took a chance on them
Praying to anyone and everyone
While you wandered elsewhere.

You took the money and ran
But the currency wasn’t paper
It was knowledge nobody knew.

You took their hand and ran
Even though it familiarly slipped away
The symbol wouldn’t mean the end

This time.

timing was something i never believed in
i thought if two people wanted to be together
they would

i had known you for eight years
always in the same class
always sat next to each other
always could talk for hours
we blended so perfectly together
we balanced the other out
everyone could see we belonged together
but i was with someone else
i never saw you in that way
          and that was okay

two years later
we are up until 4am talking
not wanting to leave each other’s side
we kissed for the first time
it was like placing the last piece of the puzzle
          we fit so perfectly
but you were just visiting
living 1, 973 miles from me
i thought this was it
fairytale comes true
the classic
          “we all knew you would end up together”
but you left
with a glimmer of hope we’d be together
but we were on different paths
we want different things
we lived in different parts of the country
maybe our paths will cross again
maybe next time
we will have better timing

Every time
You extend your hand
I reach out to emptiness
Vacant
Words
Toying with my emotions
You play the game
Always winning
With your looks
Pale skin
Red lipstick
Smeared on my collar
Where your head would lie
All of those times you lied
You see it differently
Of course you do
Playing the victim
Saying I’m always attached
And that’s why you would never
Take this dive with me
In reality
Terrified
Of what would happen
If you committed to something
Other than yourself

i spent the season planting seeds
take time to breath
it all happens so fast

my hands are rough
from the branches, sticks and lifting
hardly enough space
to remember i was missing you

the boxes packed and ready to be sold
the air felt colder
i cut off all my hair
to feel the wind on my shoulders
there was no more hiding
who could i come clean to now?

we all have our seasons
we all have our seasons
you, me, the cosmos in between
we all have our seasons
we all have our seasons
harvesting is just one of them

lonely, i am not alone
just trying to get used to the solo home of bones
let me be this hollow shell
to fill and let go
to hold a place inside to grow
A human having a souls experience

i stopped looking and i found
i stopped thinking and listened to the sound
of the room without walls
it was quiet and sweet
to sow and to reap
remember to take time to breath
it all happens so fast