Its been
Days, weeks, months
Since you left me behind
Left me head over heels in "love" with you
You had me thinking that i knew you so well
That I was the best thing in your life
That I was the only thing that you trusted

You had me thinking that you loved me
that you truly did care for me
that our countless messages meant something
that our phone calls every night weren't just out of boredom

You had me thinking that I was worth something
that for once I could be somebodies that person
that every time you walked me to class
and every time you waited for me at the end of the day was because you needed me

I want to scream that you used me
that you lied and it all meant nothing
that you manipulated and stayed cause I was the only one there
that I wasn't the one who made myself believe something that isin't even there

Its been so long since we talked or seen each other
All the reality and words of what people say all start to make sense
I trusted you with everything, took your word above all
But I wonder if that was the right choice to make
If I should have trusted my other friends after all

But your gone now, Theres no need to stress
All the words and things no longer hold any meaning
You don't care about me,  You don't even bother to text
My hollowed out heart doesn't bother anymore
Not after its been broken to it's very core

Sometimes I close my eyes at night
All I can see is your cheerful face
Grinning and laughing, as you did when we were friends
The memories we shared, things like watching our show together, falling asleep in the middays sun and playing video games till we finally won.

And I know that in these moments I was truly happy
I was content, in love and I wished for nothing more.
But as I lay awake I can't help but wonder
Did you really not love me, did you find me a bore?

Was it all really a lie?
Did you truly not care?
Was I nothing more than just a person who happened to be there?
Cause I loved you, loved you so much that it ******* hurt
I blindly gave you everything till I was completely stripped bare

So do enlighten me
Do tell me blunt and clear
Tell me your true feelings
For the whole world to hear

I've been suffering in silence
Not allowing myself to shed a tear
I refused to believe that my love meant nothing
The very thought fills my soul with fear

Tell me so I can cry
Tell me so I can finally move on
Tell me the truth behind it all
Tell me so that I can stop loving you

Cause in my heart you are still
My beloved pedestal boy

What is it between us?
Is there a spark we don't see?
Can it really be there if
Neither one of us wants to see?
When I look at you
I see nothing but star,
And endless possibilities.

Your smile brings me joy
Your presence makes me happy,
All I want to do is be near you

Can it be love?
Something so simple as this
Is it really this easy
To feel for something this way?
Being around yo makes my heart happy,
Skipping an extra beat as I dream about you.

I want to see where this goes,
Why don't you just tell me how you feel?
Are we on the same page?
Do you think about me,
Even on the coldest of nights?
Do you wish you  were with me,
When times get rough?

I want nothing more,
Than to be in your arms,
Take in your scent,
And feel your heart.

One day I hope you tell me how you feel.
Just don't take too long...
I'll wait if I have to,
It'll teach me patience...
By remember I can't wait forever
You are what I want,
But I hope I am for you

Someday soon... Someday maybe,
You'll build up the courage,
And just tell me

Tell me that you need me
Tell me that you love me
Tell me that you want me
Tell me that you miss me

Don't tell me that I'm useless
Don't tell me that you hate me
Don't tell me that to leave
Don't tell me that you don't think of me

Please tell me to stay

Tell me
The first time you met
How your stomach spinned
How the butterflies danced

Tell me
The first time you talked
How you fidgeted on your own
How you stuttered with every word

Tell me
The first time you touched
How your senses aroused
How your heart wanting to burst

Tell me
The first time you dated
How the billion of stars aligned
How the lovely moon smiled

Tell me
The first time you kissed
How time momentarily stopped
How magical, ephemeral it felt

Tell me
The first time he forgot
How betrayed you felt
How petty it seemed

Tell me
The first drop of tear
How you tried to wipe it away
How you acted okay

Tell me
The first time he lied
How hard you cried all night
How you forgave the next light

Tell me
The first time you fight
How he screamed so loud
How you hide like a child

Tell me
The first time he tried to break up
How your heart almost stopped
How you shamelessly begged

Tell me
The first time he walked away
How you cried in despair
How heart broken you've been

Tell me
The first sign of fading away
How the fire slowly loses it’s spark
How the story unfolds a twisted plot

Now tell me
How nights were so long, sleepless
How tears were almost blood
How dumb and numb and doomed it felt

Now tell me
How you handled the pain
How you remain “in-sane”
How you stitched every broken part

Now tell me
How time has nothing to do with it
How moving on was so hard
A state of mind, a choice

Now tell me
The moment you let go
The moment you forgive
The moment you walked away

-of memories
-the people specially him
-from the past, the pain

Now tell me
How freeing it felt
How the burden was lifted
How the heart was relieved

Now tell me
The moment you smiled again
The wicked grin “i’m over it”
The moment you’re living again

Now tell me, after him
The first smile
The first life
Ahh, much sweeter, better, genuine

Now tell me
That you learned a great deal
That you are stronger than before
That “first love” will always be special

Now that you’ve told me your story
I know, i know, you’re over it..

Are you fatigued?
Do you have irritable bowel syndrome?
Are there irreconcilable differences in your life?
Are you Homophobic...

"I climb 1,576 stairs"
"But I have a lot of gay friends"
once we've reached the top,
there are no two quarters for the lens.

What's driving us, this feeling, this wander?

Could you imagine,
If kind was ****** compassion.

Could you imagine,
If kind has no reaction.

What a day, what a day, what a day, what a day;
it will be.

Like children lost in corn mazes.......

filled with glee.

Hollow are those shallow times,
don't you
forget
about me.

What a day, what a day, what a day, what a day;
it will be.

Luckily those prickly vines, are fading fantastically.


TRF
         sometimebforehalloween

Hey, can you do me a favor?

Let me know once it stopped, okay?

Tell me.

Tell me no matter how much it may hurt me,
tell me once you stop being in love with me.
Let me know when your heart no longer whispers my name.
Tell it to my face,
that it’s over.
I don’t want to hear it from someone else,
please at least have the guts to tell me
that you don’t love me anymore.
I know it sounds pessimistic,
but can you blame me?
We live in a very unpredictable world;
one thing can turn to another within a span of a second.
I don’t want to deal with a heartbreak because I ended up believing that love is all about hearts and flowers. And that love can withstand anything. I don’t believe in forever.
I believe in the now.
See, I can’t promise you these superficial things and vague whatnots.
I can only give you what I have now.

And I don’t expect you to promise me the stars and the moon,
no, don’t give me forever.
Don’t give me something you don’t have.
I don’t want to hope for something that may end up nothing.
Save me from the heartache of believing in love too much.
The sad thing is that we can’t even promise our tomorrow.
We don’t hold the universe in our hands,
we don’t know what will happen next,
we are no seer.

So, here I am, promising you my now
and only asking you the same.

So tell me when you don’t love me anymore.
I want to hear it from your lips with your own voice.
I want to hear the same voice that told me iloveyous,
telling me the idontloveyouanymore.

Tell me once you are slipping away,
but I won’t promise that I will not try to keep you,
because I will,
I am only a human too.
Promise me that no matter how broken I become,
you will walk away,
because you don’t love me anymore.
I don’t want you staying because of pity,
you can walk away with the memories:
I’ll keep what I need,
and you walk away with yours.

I won’t blame you, no, I really won’t.
I will cry, but all the same,
don’t comfort me.
Let me mourn the death of a love I once had.

So,
If ever this shall end…
Please tell me and have the decency to
break my heart properly.

tell me
*why were you crying?