Like a mighty oak tree
you were an awe inspiring sight
Respect commanded from your presence
Crooked men were filled with fright
And while I grew, your hand was stern
Your leadership steered our small tribe
Fed discipline and regiment
Came from a past you could not hide
Kept calm and steady under pressure
Always ready and alert
The one who people would look up to
when in fear or if they’re hurt
A true natural born leader;
A sapient and astute mind
While viewed as witty and gregarious,
approachable and kind
These qualities and human traits
were visible so all could see
You were a brave and valiant man
yet, even still much more to me

They sent you off to war when you
weren’t much more than a boy
Permission was not something asked
when foreign country were deployed
And even though you weren’t commissioned,
rank gave you command of men
So every day tried to ensure
that they would make it home again
You did the best you could, I’m sure;
Was rarely ever talked about
You may have left, but had it with you
And a part did not get out

“Protector” who is watching over
Principle ingrained in you
When duty calls, the first to answer
Shared the ‘code of honor’ too
Just like that hero in the pages
of those comics that you read
So,“Truth” & “Justice” and “The American Way”
were not just slogans to be said
A perfect fit was your career
to those of us who knew you
Always said fell into it
Was something took “for now” to do
While trying to decide a path
Direction in life that you’d take
It’s funny, often life will choose;
Decision not for us to make

And every time you went to work;
That uniform you would put on
Not knowing what you’d have to face
Potential risks and unknown harm
Like ‘suiting up’ to go to battle
Might not leave it with your life
But did not hesitate or waiver
Was your job; Did not think twice
The risks were something you accepted
but in-no-way they defined
The thirty-four years giving service;
Same town lived in and spent time
Relations built; working together
Being there if ever needed
First one responding when alerted;
Helping those who begged and pleaded
Also, if they simply asked
No matter whether big or small
‘Protect and Serve’ - a lifelong duty;
Run to aid those if they called
But this was much more than an oath
Embedded in your moral fiber
Like a coded prime directive,
was not something you could fight or
try denying if you wanted
I don’t think you ever did
Reminder from those comic books
you fell in love with as a kid

You had a ‘Superman’ t-shirt
The one emblazoned with an ‘S’
Would wear beneath your button up
Discretely so no one would guess
You laughed it off as just a game
A type of joke or of the like
While growing up you were a fan
Since you were just a little tyke
I knew for you that there was more
The message you respected too
Face bad guys while maintaining morals and character
A narrative describing you

By definition human beings
Species flawed that make mistakes
A perfect man, not what you were
A task no one can undertake
I know you cared for each of us
You did the very best you could
but discipline, the critics draw
These actions are not understood
Until much later on in life
The child has become adult
Time granting wisdom, with this gift
Deciphering and figure out
Perspective is a funny thing
Eyes opened after having it
With all you dealt with in you life
Amazed you did not lose your ****
A stunning feat that is for sure
What you endured and undertook
Career added and family too
Not one page could write in your book

I only wish, I could have told you
Finally these things I know
Appreciate in ways could not
How passing time has made it so
But that same time took you from us
No longer are you with us here
At least not in a mortal form
My heart though I still hold you dear
Now added to that shirt you wore
You don a brilliant scarlet cape
While flying high up in the sky
And from you bad guys can’t escape
You kept us safe; You taught us well
Each day your wisdom’s guiding me
Impossible to fill your shoes
It's not something I try to be
Instead I strive to be the best
rendition of me possibly
and hope that it will be enough
when looking down, you’re proud of me

So many thought that they knew you
but deep down never did they know
From all of them a secret kept
There was something you did not show
They foolishly ate up your act
To them you weren’t more than a man
Don’t worry dad, I will not tell
but I know that you’re Superman.

When was the last time you cried?
... ...

Was it recent?
... ...

Do you want to talk about it?
... ...

Are you feeling better?
... ...

Should I stay by your side?
... ...

Should I leave you alone?
... ...

Can you tell me?
... ...

Please do not tell me
You love me
Because that scares me so much more
Than loving you
Ever could

I told you,
This sadness never leaves,
When you told me, “Don’t **** yourself,”
I won’t, because I already am;
Locked in a grave of my own misery,

I told you,
Becoming myself does not suffice,
And I am always the worst version of myself,
I never want to be a nobody,
Yet I cannot be somebody,

I told you,
My life is full of should have’s,
I cannot seem to fulfill my purpose,
But I can, I know I can,
Yet fears always get the best of me,

I told you,
I always told you,
My hopes and dreams, my will to live,
But if you listened well,
If you listened thoroughly,
You’ll hear the pleas of save me,
Longing through my voice,
When you only told me “It’s okay,”
“You’re going to be fine,”
But knives aren’t okay,
Suicide isn’t fine,
But you declined anyway,

I told you,
But you never listened.

Bagging groceries has given me
A strange window into people's lives

I stuff their secrets into a paper sack
And I tell them to have a good day

But I'm not sure they do