why don’t you ever call me anymore?
you used to...
every night.
and we’d lay there and talk to each other on the phone
for hours.
sometimes,
we wouldn’t even talk;
it would just be radio silence,
but even just knowing that we had each other on the other end of the line was comforting .
it was a nice silence.

and when we did talk
it was about everything we could think of
school, our families, us,
whatever it was
you always knew how to keep me talking

but now i don’t even know what to say to you.
you’ve made it clear how much you don’t care anymore,
but all i want is a phone call.
so we can talk like we used to.
so we can not talk like we used to.

There is a level between friends and dating
The median is a confusing area
You both like each other and you act like you're dating
But you aren't
From what I've discovered it's exactly like dating but without the title
"Talking" to more than more than one person would be bad
But you aren't dating
You get them gifts and maybe even say you love them
But it's just talking
It's like a trial run for the relationship
Because going ahead and having a relationship would be too much

Let's just be.
Truth be told some things are just hard to write about.
The over complication of all the things we consider important
as well as the same exact things we tend to ignore when tension reaches it's highest.
Let's just be.
Why relive all of the wrong parts that we over exaggerate to be life as we know it.
Not at all stating that we should be completely lazy.
But When we wake up let's just be.
Be more than what we already are with no reason at all.
To embrace all the beneficial factors that come with the simplicity of a heart filled smile.
Plunging head first in the cover of arms- warm and tender.
The flavor of cinnamon brown swirl.
Fleeting in delicious curiosity.
Let's shut out the world and just be.
Until we both fall asleep.
4 am, Late night conversation.
Not too far from where you stay.
Truth be told some things are just hard to write about.
But of all my favorite things, I love telling you all of these things
When your laying beside me

Too many times to count,
I've changed
My mind.
Too many of your doubts,
Caused me to stay caged,
Disappointed to find,
Me.
    

                                      «c.h.b.»

I find myself speaking with God
In the company of my solitude;
As though he is present in the long walks
along paths lined with trees
Where the only noises are those of leaves of trees
rustled by the wind
And the only voices are those of birds
Who lend their beaks to the wind
As though I was another Adam
Searching for God’s footstep
As I walk over the garden
Muttering the litanies of my sins and imperfections
Ruing all that I have done which I should not have
And all I didn’t do which I should have done
Wondering what became of the little boy I once was
And how I seem like a sea
Where fragments of a sank ship floats
And the remnant of his innocence is scattered about
Like  flotsam, impossible to reassemble

I let God listen to the pains in my voice
Of being a failed sailor
Drowning the sojourners who gave me trust
Yet my second journey remains uncertain
And not-in-tandem with the wind

There is no healing for me in the world
I already added iodine to her wounds
In her pains, she screams at my conscience
And I recoil into my solitude on this solitary path
And I find myself speaking to God in my heart,
Where I find him

Ears are closed shut
    shutters drawn no
    sound comes through to glance
    upon the floor.
She speaks
     every detail tangled in nets
     upon nets of
     sentences
dumping themselves on patient ears
though patient mouth is silenced.

When the lips can come through the
     wriggling words
    The voice can not
    penetrate the closed windows
    glancing off
    and falling into the sea.

The receiver slammed down
    a slap across the face
    miles away...
    she keeps talking.

I tell them
what I feel
words cant explain
just heart can do
michael jackson's song is playing in my head
they with me
so im not alone
it's easy, the echo speaks
the lamps of the town are radiant
but you more
And I see you for the millionth of times