I’ve decided we never really grow up
we just keep having birthdays
because every few months
I’m a whole new me again
from the one I was before
I still don’t feel fully grown
everyday creates new thoughts
those thoughts lead to new paths
new paths lead me to
Me

the sky is sopping up
                smears of weather from the city day
filling out darkly
  the portly host of the eve   ushers us into warm dens
nature starts the night shift
it appraises

this night is rat dog    recovering from urban filth
                                       rolling in grass dew and spoil

the tainting of the air     is contributed to from abroad
migration of contraband fumes (forest fires out west)
                                     and the heat raises

too populated   to hold a proper witching hour
the night in shifts
any slumber has its quality watered down 
                                    the constant street activity

weeping sunrise   nights excuses stopper   inebriation rests
arrested blight   morning light and everything about
your crushable body smiles naked things
i roll over to face the uncurtained window
hunch out of bed and stilt my way
to support my self at the sill

overcast with an invasive muffle of smog
members of the bright-time    pooling for occupation
                      do not remember the night
                                it's simply poor sleep

People came and went all night, welcomed by the warm evening, the 12-piece jazz band, rich restaurant aromas and the boundless night sky. I hear their enthusiasm as they’re escorted to their tables. These Geneva people seem more Germanic and reserved than the French, although they’ve stolen our language. Maybe they license French or subscribe to it, like Spotify.

Peter (my bf) and I danced, unburdened by tomorrows, on a terrace of frozen-ice like, pale-blue tiles. The spilled star-field glittered like fireworks on a dark canvas of a new-moon, black sky.

The distant, snow-covered Alps seemed to reach for the glistening cosmos, like spilled water rushing across a floor or children grasping at toys. Compared to this celestial gallery, the Geneva skyline looked as sad as an old stage prop.

The air was scented with blooming jasmine, baking bread and coffees. A breeze, in turns warm and cool, wrapped around us, sharing the dance by pressing my dress to me one moment and throwing it away the next.

The dress I picked it up in Paris earlier in the week - a svelte, Chiuri Dior, ‘New Look Silhouette’ in Prussian blue Chiffon and cobalt crepe - felt as lightweight, breathable and cool as workout-mesh.

Peter’s a good dancer. He’s firm yet gentle, guiding me effortlessly, in a lazy, jazz way, from the waist. When we’re in the flow, our choreography’s guided more by the unseen music than a set dance.

Our evening - I think it’s fair to say we owned it - turned into an unhurried night, before easing, unnoticed, into morning - as summer evenings tend to do.

Our words, in hushed tones, were washed away on the breeze and the music, lost to anyone but ourselves. Time never seemed more of an abstract and irrelevant construct - and if there was a world beyond those moments - it went unnoticed.
.
.
Songs for this:
Good Luck, Babe! by Chappell Roan
Lose My Breath (Feat. Charlie Puth) by Stay Kids, Charlie Puth
Stumblin’ In by CRYIL
**** to someone by Clairo

Alam kong umpisa na ng tag-init diyan.
O baka lingid sa kaalaman ko'y
sa susunod na linggo pa o kalaunan.
Ngunit kung paano ang tag-init dyan
o gaano kainit ay hindi ko alam.
Paano ang tag-init dyan sa inyo?
Gaano ka-init ang mainit diyan sa bahay mo?
Sana'y naaarawan ka ng sapat at tama,
sana'y palaging malusog ka't masaya.

Alam mo bang tag-ulan na rito ng Hunyo?
O maaaring para sayo ay patak pa lang,
o marahil mga mumunting tulo.
Ngunit kung gaano kaginaw
o paano ang tag-ulan ay hindi mo alam.
Gaano kaginaw, gaya ba ng taas ng baha?
Paano ang patak ng ulan, tulad ba ng luha?
Sana'y bagyuhin at tangayin ang mga mali,
sana'y mawala na ang alaalang gipit.

Alam kong tag-init na pag Hunyo sa inyo.
Ngunit alam mo ba talaga kung gaano ka-init
kung ikaw sana'y narito sa silid ko?
Alam mo ba ang tunay na tag-init,
gayong di mo pa nararanasan sa bisig ko?
Hindi mo malalaman kung gaano kainit ang mainit
hangga't ika'y wala sa tabi ko.
Ang tunay na tag-init ay nasa aking piling.

Alam mo nang tag-ulan na rito ng Hunyo.
Ngunit kung malalaman mo nga kung gaano kaginaw,
tulad siguro ng paghagkan sa bloke ng yelo.
Alam mo ba ang tunay na tag-ulan,
tila mga patak ng luha kung mawawala ako.
Malalaman mo kung gaano kaginaw ang maginaw
kung mawawala ako sa buhay mo.
Ang tunay na tag-ulan ay ang aking kawalan.

And in the winter,
While she was still small and cold
I watched the sun rise to meet me, her smile
Softening the frost in my soul
.
And now sweet summer heat
Begins to bear down with heavy hand
I go out to meet her once more
At dawn, now twice the journey -
I rise early to watch her unfolding flower
And yet still the same tender light does shine
In that fragile hour

Something’s happening, let’s call it sunrise, for now,
and summer vacation in Geneva, in umm.. 10 hours.
My heart-beat is spiking, like a flag or kite flying.
I’m leaving an empty room - making one last pass with a broom.

I’m stuffing my bag, with the last few things, for escape on aluminum wings.
My dreams, woven in bright, butterfly tapestries, are rolled and folded -
packed between urgent fantasies and harsh, time-sensitive practicalities.

I know you’re there, a quarter-world away, good news, pegasus awaits,
to streak gulf-stream high, over choppy oceans wide with mechanical fire,
its ice-cycle crystal contrail will point, like cherub cupid's arrow, toward you.

Forget pixels, tech instruments, remote lifeline connections,
and prayer-like whispers over thin, criss-crossed wires.
I’m making my move, coming compass-needle true,
to press up close, reintroduce, extemporize and ******.
.
.
music for this:
Someday by Sugar Ray
sunburn by almost monday
This Charming Man by The Smiths
Heaven by Los Lonely Boys

whenever she's suspended
affixed
at the apex
of my mind'e eye,
she commands my attention

every breath
of hers
is the wind

tempests of life
unfurling
from her tender lips

'pon which
I run
a steady finger
tracing the grooves
of her supple
flesh
as she whispers
my name

her tongue flickers

tasting
the salt of my skin

fresh from the sea
where we first made love

where I carried her
from shore
to fresh water
to be cleansed
by healing waters
and leave the sea's poison
to the creatures
of the deep
the drunkards
of deepest sin

though time has passed
decades now, since then
I can still feel her
straddling my face
beneath
the running waters
silent
save her breaths
long & satisfied
every exhale
was purposeful

and where she lay
I remember
her legs
poised,
inviting

her expression, yearning

the world had passed away

gone, in the midst
of our rapture
and who
could have stopped us
anyway

I remember
my pride vanished
as hours
in my imagination
became minutes
in reality

I had never known
I could be
so weak

spent

how she took everything
I had to give

how she gave me
everything
I ever wanted

how no woman
has ever
given me one moment
as breathless
as a day spent
in love
from the pool
to the beach
to the shower

how no other woman
could trap me
in one room
for decades
and leave me there, waiting
with
no
regrets...

lost fragrances of easy summer mornings
when all she knew was the dirt
between her toes
and scattered throughout her
golden hair.

lost melodies of lazy summer days
when all she knew was the water
of river susurrations
and warmest shortlived rains
caressingly falling.

lost bites of ripe summer evenings
when all she knew was the sweetness
of rose-red lips
and shared apricots with she
of auburn hair.

lost glances of torrid summer nights
when all she knew was the lust
of her youth
and the wine shared between
first loves.

lost times of summer's end
when all she knew was gone.