I can't bury you
Nor can I heal;

In my veins,
In my soul.

Maybe if the noose around your neck wouldn't cinch so tight, when you deliberately wander off the path that has been chosen for you; maybe if you wouldn't perish, the day you lay your back on; maybe if your certificates and other materials gatherings weren't made your only primal instincts; maybe when you'd be treated with the same reverence as the man landing his foot on the moon, for he was only doing his job; Maybe if we the rats were friends for once not foes, this world would have been much better than this false pretense.

Maybe on that day you'll appreciate the happiness of true freedom!

I don't think my lungs like the taste of air anymore.

We had stopped at Bennys I got him some fries
A nice day for a drive not a cloud in the sky
We got in the truck I checked his seat twice
I’m forever greatful for my wifes advice
The diesel engine purred as I shifted gears
To my grandmas house no thoughts of fear
I hear a bang and in a flash
We rolled and rolled crash and bash
I count the hits one two three
windows exploding around me
I swing out the door hung from my belt
We hit dirt and highway the hardest ive felt
Time seemed to pause or maybe just slow
With the earths every trouncing blow
Upside-down truck upon my head
How the **** am I not dead
Around my ribs i feel the steels bite
The crash is over but now is the fight
My son is alive I can hear him cry
He is to young to remember goodbye
I must get to him i must pull him out
Steel digging deeper as i struggle about
My breath is laborious I’m struggling for air
The pain is hellish too atrocious to bear
Then she laid on the road infront of me
A woman who was scared but strong for me
I coughed up blood and gasped for air
She squeezed my hand and said a prayer
Blood flowed and filled my eyes and ears
The world turned red as blood met tears
Slowly a silance began to loom
Another sign of an ominous doom
She screamed the trucks are coming they are on their way
Oh lord oh lord don’t take this man away
You stay with me you stay with your son
You can’t leave now his lifes just begun
My body shudders as it gasps a wheeze
I feel a cold chill i hoped was a breeze
It has been too long since I’ve taken a breath
What lays ahead life after death.

This chord twanged,
as that chord is plucked.
The bow strikes again.
And again ... and again, still.

The notes, ringing high,
then abruptly, ringing low.
Fervently producing sound;
this one woman orchestra.

Strike, after strike, after strike,
...my finger tips bleed.
Sweating out my soul-
playing this sonata.

First verse, Second verse,
and now the Chorus.
Third verse, Fourth verse,
and again, the Chorus.

Fifth verse, sixth verse,
and then ... the Chorus.
Always coming back,
to the same, old Chorus.

The conclusion draws near,
always the most awaited.
How will it happen?
What will I feel?

In light of recent self-awarness
I try my best to feel
less suffocated
by the instilled ideal
of forgiveness
and more accepting
of the primal, instinctive
need to express
what I cannot suppress

In light of recent self-awareness
I try my best to see
less of the drowning
nerve-racking
ticking
notion that is
The Moment
and more of the ambiently
serene concept of
The Present

In light of recent self-awareness
I try my best to be
less aware
and more myself.

I can't breathe without
A crescendo of panic
Crashing into my lungs
Like a flood of salty, bitter water.