you would have been holding me
to sleep tonight in your orange room
if what Jeremy Passion said in his song
were truly meant for me

You said it's going to be awhile, but you know something will happen,
You stupid little boy.
I don't want a relationship, not because I want to wait for you,
But, it's because I prefer my whiskey and kids' toys.

You obviously know your relationship won't last, though.
That's pretty sad, knowing you'll come back to me.
You're pretty pitiful,
But, I don't give you up because you're like a true lover and family.

It's going to be awhile, is that what you said?
That must mean your love for her is already dead,
If you're dating her, knowing you two will come to an unfortunate end.
But, I don't care because I have my whiskey and toys,

You know that it isn't going to last,
And you say it like you'll be coming back to me. That's pretty stupid,
Practically infidelity,
But, in a more heart wrenching package for that pitiful unloved soul, that you call your girlfriend.

But, you see, I won't be waiting for you,
Because I'm married to my whiskey.

I love Twinkies,
The sweet food, not the guys.
I love how they taste
And ignore the chubby thighs.
Gedunk.

I really dig pizza,
The kind covered with stuff
I eat it every day.
I just can’t get enough.
Gedunk.

Ice cream is great
I can eat it by the tub
And then I look like one
A human tub, there’s the rub.
Gedunk

It’s a US Navy word
For tasty stuff I like to eat;
Anything high sugar
Low food value and very sweet.
Gedunk.

The kind of stuff I like
When I’m at the movies.
Sweet, greasy or salty.
Sometimes even hyper meaty.
Gedunk.

Food value no need,
Just something to munch.
Nutrition and such
Just leave that for lunch.
Gedunk.

The same with politics
I usually kind of go along.
If the issues are annoying
Well that’s just wrong.
Gedunk.

I want someone who talks
About stuff that’s easy to hear.
Like football, and sports.
Politics doesn’t go with beer.
Gedunk.

I want to hear simple things
Like blaming others for what’s wrong.
See? I just vote my gut
And kind of just go along.
Gedunk.

do you ever mess up something super duper minor and no one else thinks it an issue and you see that but on the inside you just feel like collapsing and crying and folding into little pieces of human origami because god it would be wonderful to be anything but yourself?